Saturday, September 26, 2009

Monster Crap Inductee: Monster A-Go-Go (1965)

Monster Crap Inductee: Monster A-Go-Go
Makes Me Want To Go Go……..TO HELL!!!!

I have got to be honest with you. Watching many of the crappy movies Monster Crap has presented has been helped by the fact that I can listen to Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Joel. However, this movie does it and I couldn’t even watch the first time because I couldn’t stay awake from boredom, even with the MST3K crew. The movie that I am talking about is Monster A Go Go. Most of the times, I am told that you should never read a book by its cover, but the title of Monster A Go Go says that while that may be the case most of the time, there are a few exceptions. Now I want to save my sanity so let’s get this over with before it sits there and ruins my mind.

We begin with the explanation of some space capsule disappeared and reappeared on Earth. Oh, I almost forgot the extremely cheesy music even by 50s standards that begins this movie. Back to this segment that basically has an announcer just spouting out crap. The cops at the scene seem to be talking to the radio who sounds like the teacher from the Charlie Brown shows. Mwa Mwa Mwa Mwa. Anyways, they don’t receive word from the helicopter that has been flying for a while so they go check it out. They find the capsule and the helicopter, but neither pilot is around.

I Could Ask How A Man Could Fit In There, But I Don't Honestly Care.

Oh I spoke too soon as the cops find the helicopter pilot, but they find him dead, horribly mangled by something. We move to a house somewhere I don’t know where as we hear a doorbell ring. We then see a couple enter although we never heard the door open. I guess they opened the door and then rang the doorbell. Nice job, morons, you couldn’t even get the simple idea of understanding the doorbell system. You ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open the door, if someone is even home. The young couple asks where Jimmy is at and the woman of the house says that he was sent over to a neighbor’s house. The couple informs the woman that Frank, obviously her husband, has disappeared. She then talks about Harry, her husband (they could have mentioned this beforehand) dying. Jimmy enters and asks when his Uncle Frank is coming home. The woman of the house lies and says that Uncle Frank had to do some things in town. The man from the young couple gets a phone call and is told that they found the space capsule. The woman of the house insists that she go with the man to the capsule. She goes even with the reluctance of the young couple. They then show the body of the helicopter who looks like normal. I say that because he was supposed to be mangled beyond belief. The young couples then looks at some burns on the ground and are confused as to what caused them. They say some kids may have caused it even though there is a dead man not so far from here. The couple wants to the woman from the house (her name is Ruth) that Frank is dead. Another guy comes in and tells them that’s not a good idea since they haven’t found a body and suggests they tell her nothing.

Now we are at a laboratory where we listen to more meaningless dialogue. Next we go to a runway where a plane lands. We listen to more meaningless dialogue where they talk about the “mangled” body of the helicopter pilot. We then go to a party where a bunch of teenagers decide to shake their asses and groove to some music. During this party, we see a jealous boyfriend shove a guy down who was dancing near his girlfriend. They go to the car and drive off. They stop at a spot and make out. They are attacked by some type of man. We then move to police officers who are at the scene of the crime. The find the mangled body of the young man and they think what happened to him was what happened to the helicopter pilot. They find the woman collapsed yet still alive. They decide to take her to the lab for more study. We then see Dr. Logan driving to the landing area. Dr. Logan then ends up in the woods and is strangled by the arms of the supposed monster.

This film is obviously bad when the editing team makes a huge mistake with a black screen. We cut to a dinner table where Ruth and another man are talking about the bodies found. We then cut to the landing zone where they find the body of Dr. Logan. They find him with a shocked look on his face as he is dead. We then head to the airport and………ah damn it. This movie is so bad that I need to go through it quickly. Sorry folks, but this movie is so boring that it makes me want to sleep again. Let’s just get a quick rundown of what happens. More talking followed by the monster attacking a bunch of teenagers relaxing in the sun. The teens all escape of course. More useless dialogue is followed by another night scene when they fire at the monster, who we find out is Frank. More useless dialogue follows that scene and after that, we see a woman whose car is broken down. Her car’s breaking down causes another car to stop and we see some road rage from this driver as he yells at the young woman. He then finds out that she is out of gas and she didn’t know that. Damn what a dumb woman. She thanks him with a kiss and drives off. We don’t realize he was killed until we get told that by the scientists. The army has come into the scene to find the monster. They set a trap and the trap doesn’t work. The people find out the monster is not Frank since they found him alive in the North Atlantic.

The movie ends on that note.

Okay, not only is this movie extremely movie, but this movie never truly ends correctly. It is as if this whole thing was all a dream. This is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. The editing is abysmal and the acting is wooden. Nothing happens in this movie and we are left with more puzzlement than satisfaction. Never before have I had to do a quick rundown of a movie and I hope I will never have to again. This movie makes no sense whatsoever and I beg you, as viewers, to never watch this movie. If you do, you will never be the same again. Avoid if possible and if I cant even make any jokes on this movie, then you know it's bad.

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