Friday, April 29, 2016

Impact Implosion for April 26 - Drew Galloway vs. Tyrus

It definitely was better than last week as it gets a C. The first hour was not good, but the second hour saved the show. We also talked about Knockouts Knockdown (featuring what may be the new worst match in TNA history (don't worry...I'll speak on it NEXT WEEK) and  we also talk about the tapings that happened as well. 

Click To Listen

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Monster Crap Inductee: Unfriended (2015)

Monster Crap Inductee: Unfriended
Never Have I Ever…Wanted To Put A Movie On Complete Mute *Finger Down*



It is something that has truly become a plague on us. While originally, you could have people just can’t wait to get home, now even home isn’t a safe place thanks to the internet. Now I know the easy answer can always be “Don’t Go Online”, but in a world where online is a benefit when knowing what is going on in the world and communicating with family and friends who are not nearby so it is easier said than done.

Heck, even I have been a victim of cyber-bullying and surprisingly, it was from a message board so it was actually easier for me to get away from those cyber bullies than it has been for others, but not completely easy as I had to say goodbye to several friends I had on that message board too. Also, those cyber bullies were just being complete assholes and not being ones to say “Go Kill Yourself.” But for some, those bullies can screw your entire life and will try and have you kill yourself…and then play dumb and try to say they never meant for the person to kill themselves. You make one mistake in your life and those people will try to make sure you kill yourself because of it, while they can play innocent behind a keyboard and be unknowing.

But enough about cyber-bullying because we are going to instead get to this movie that has a strong message for cyber bullies: the ghost of those bullied are going to expose and kill you. Sounds like a good idea for a horror movie, right? And this movie will try to be innovative by having the whole situation happen via a Skype call. Well, plenty of people fell for it in the beginning as the film started in the 90 percentile range on Rotten Tomatoes from early screenings. However, as soon as the film was released over that weekend, the film took a huge hit and is now at a 63% from critics and a 37% by viewers.

I can only surmise this happened because of one thing and that would be a review embargo that sadly some movies do. Basically, this is a situation where critics are allowed their early screenings, but they have to make an agreement to only post their reviews before official release if the review is good. If not, then you will have to wait until release date. It is a very sleazy way to do things, but most critics have no problems doing this for horror films because most of them have a low opinion on them to begin with.

But let’s get to the damn movie because this is one movie that I would rather just get over with.

We begin this film with the Universal logo glitching out.

This Was Actually Intentional By The Filmmakers

Then we see someone (our main protagonist and the person whose computer screen we are supposed to be following) watching the video on Live Leak of Laura Barns killing herself via shooting herself in the head while people are asking her to stop (even though one of the so called people trying to help is filming this….do you see the problems already with characters).

Another Problem….I’ve Seen People Commit Suicide Via Gun To The Head On Videos (Sadly) And They Don’t Stretch Their Arms To Hold The Gun Away From Them. They Put The Gun Close To Their Head To Make Sure They Don’t Miss And The Bullet Does Its Job In Killing Them.

It’s less than 2 minutes and I have already found problems. This will continue. We also learn that the video that supposedly forced Laura to kill herself is still online via YouTube. So we go to that video called “Laura Barns Kill Urself” from Laura Exposed.

Third Problem…YouTube Has A Specific Policy On This Sort Of Shit, Which Is If This Is An Obvious Attempt At Cyber Bullying, Then The Video Will Be Flagged And The Account Will Be Suspended.

Yeah, someone could easily report this video and get it taken down real easy and in a video telling someone to kill themselves, this wouldn’t take a freaking year for it to do. I think in my anger, I just gave something away. Yes, this whole Laura killing herself incident happened a year ago today according to this film.

Anyway, in the video, we see that Laura is obviously completely drunk and being a complete bitch. We see the video continue before we get that Skype call from someone named Mitch Roussell. Mitch is obviously our main protagonist’s (who is female) boyfriend and thinks that she is down. She denies it and she plays some music from Spotify.

Our protagonist then puts on her video cam so she can show…

Her Feet

Mitch gets turned on by this and decides to turn on his webcam.

The webcam gets turned around so we can learn our protagonist’s name is Blaire Lilly. She teases her boyfriend by showing him her bruised knee and then showing him her shirt. Mitch wants her to take the shirt off and Blaire tells him to make her. So Blaire decides to demand she do so…

With A Butcher Knife That He Has In His Room For Some Reason

Oh and eventually we get to see Blaire’s face.

Blaire starts taking her shirt off button by button and shows off her panties before they talk about prom night where Blaire wants it to be the night they have sex. They then decide to keep the striptease going after Mitch celebrates a little bit. But they are interrupted by another call from a group led by a default user. She hangs it up, but they eventually pop up anyways so they have to stop the striptease while the others tease them for what the hell they were doing.

One Of The Girls Named Jess Says That Blaire Is Going To Hell Now For Being A Dirty Girl. She Also Has A Curling Iron.

We Then Get Adam Making Fun Of Mitch For Having A Boner

We see Ken is in the chat talking about Blaire needing to fix her blouse and then they see a default user who Adam wonders who it is as he thinks it is a buddy of Mitch’s. Mitch of course doesn’t know who it is. Adam talks about trying to hang up on this default user, but it won’t let them.

Oh And Here Is Ken For Anyone Asking.

After a few minutes, they hang up to eventually call each other back. But before they call each other back, Blaire talks with Mitch via iMessage wondering who that default user was. They also ask why they answered the call which it turns out neither of them did. They make a joke about it being a joke or a creeper Skype dude. Oh and because Mitch doesn’t talk for a few minutes…Blaire wonders if he is still there. She then calls him like a clingy woman because he didn’t respond and she gets no answer. She continues the chat with Mitch and wonders where he is.

But the call returns and she answers…everyone is there, as well as the default user. Blaire wonders what this person’s problem is while Ken thinks it is definitely a hacker. Ken then reveals salsa from his blender.

Why Does Ken Have A Blender In His Room Other Than He Is Fat? Who Knows At This Point

They try to hang up and call again. Meanwhile, Blaire continues to be clinging with Mitch on iMessage. Mitch finally responds by apologizing and saying he just got a weird message. Blaire wonders from whom and Mitch says it is apparently from Laura Barns. Blaire thinks this is a joke, but Mitch says he is serious. Blaire then gets a Facebook message from Laura Barns.

This definitely weirds Blaire out and she asks who this is, but not before deleting the video of “Laura Barns Kill Urself” from her browsing history.  Blaire then goes back to iMessage with Mitch and tells him that she thinks someone hacked Laura’s account. Mitch can only respond with “maybe”. The call comes back in and surprise, surprise…the default user is still there. Adam just says “fuck it” and thinks it is a glitch. Meanwhile, Mitch says on iMessage that he doesn’t think this is a glitch since he does say that today is the anniversary of Laura’s death. Mitch then links her to a post from a site called UnexplainedForums.Net, which considering it didn’t get underlined, probably means it doesn’t exist.

Anyway, It Is A Post With A Video Saying Don’t Answer Messages From The Dead

It also talks about people getting these messages and then killing themselves at the most a few days afterwards. Blaire does not find this funny, thinking Mitch is still playing around with her. Blaire then says that she is reporting this conversation with Laura’s account even though Laura is dead. Blaire then says on Facebook to the mysterious person that she is going to report them over this. She starts writing the report with Facebook. She clicks to send, but her link changes to the words “I Got Her” over and over again. She tells Mitch that for some reason, the reporting isn’t working. He says that is what he is saying, but she yells at him and says she is freaked out. Mitch tells Blaire to unfriend her, but when she tries to…then options are eliminated for whatever reason. She yells via iMessage that Mitch could be more helpful and Mitch tells her to refresh the page. Blaire does so and finally is able to unfriend Laura. Meanwhile, you can see people talking in the background, but there is no freaking audio to it, which would not happened unless she muted it, which the computer screen would have shown she would have done.

The audio finally returns telling Blaire to return although we see that Mitch has told her that Skype Guy is still there. Laura tells everyone to quiet as she is writing an email, but she then gets a message by Laura, saying she shouldn’t have unfriended her. Blaire is about to ask what this person wants, but Laura says that she wants Blaire’s help. Blaire asks if this is Val, since I guess Val would do something like this…I guess. Blaire asks Mitch if he has spoken to Val today, which Mitch says he has not done and then asks why. Blaire says no reason, but then on Skype decides to add her, despite Ken saying he doesn’t like her and Jess jokes that the only person that likes Val is Val. So Val appears.

In The Freaking Laundry Room! What Kind Of Place Is Val Living In?!!!

As Val is talking about them not buying tickets (to what, I don’t know), Blaire goes on Facebook Messenger to tell this mysterious person on Laura’s account that she is a floozy and to get off her account, also calling her Val. Suddenly, a post appears on Jess’ Facebook page supposedly from Jess showing Val getting shit-faced with pictures.

Blaire tells Val that she is looking good and tells her to check on Facebook. Val sees this and is enraged at Jess for posting this, despite Jess proclaiming that she didn’t do it. Val tells Jess to delete them and Jess just laughs at it all while proclaiming her innocence. Jess seems to also think that Val is not being respectful even though she is doing her a favor by removing it while Val doesn’t think this is a favor at all.

Ken makes a joke about them fighting at a Wendy’s or a Taco Bell and Jess is trying to delete the photo, but after a few tries, she finally does. Then Adam’s page has the pics posted and suddenly, negative messages start coming from the users even though they are obviously not typing them. And yes, because even though it is clear neither of them are typing or clicking anything, they believe the messages are coming from the other person. Blaire tells them to stop while Ken just hangs up his headset so he doesn’t have to hear this anymore. Suddenly, a message from Blaire’s Skype account says that she is siding with Jess and despite obviously not typing it, Val thinks she typed it. Suddenly, the default user reveals themselves to be “billie227” and reveals that she hacked and typed the messages, making everyone here look like a fucking idiot.

“billie227” asks them to guess who she is and none of them know. Blaire then searches the profile to find out that this is Laura Barns’ Skype account. Blaire tells the others her find and wonders who is doing it, which Ken sarcastically says it is Laura even though all of them know Laura is dead. Blaire then goes on iMessage to ask Mitch if this is him and of course, Mitch says it isn’t. Okay…here is the problem with this accusing it of being someone else. Unless you have another computer or phone within the vicinity of you, it isn’t you doing it. We may be technologically advanced, but we haven’t gotten to the point of cloning or magicly doing shit.

Ken then thinks it is a troll of some kind even though if this was a troll (a person on the internet who is just being an asshole for fun, for those not in the know), this troll has gone far and wide beyond the realm of normal trolling to do this. Oh and just in case you didn’t know this, Blaire asks what is a troll and Ken has to freaking explain it. Val then decides she will take care of “billie227” and threatens her, who responds that her threat sounds great, but she says that Val wouldn’t like it here. Everyone puts there hands up so we can know what we have known already, in that none of them are freaking doing this.

The mysterious “billie227” then sarcastically asks who is doing this and asks if there is a problem. Someone has a dog in the background so we hear the freaking dog barking as once again, they try to hang up on billie227, but they can’t. She then tells all of them to not hang up on them, as if they could. “billie227” sends Val a message and Val is freaked out about it, asking where this person got it. Oh and Val is the one with the fucking dog. We don’t know what was sent to Val, but Val threatens to call the cops despite the mysterious user telling her not to do it.

As Val is making threats to Ken saying she will kill him if she finds out it is him and hangs up. Jess now thinks it is some girl that Val has pissed off and she is getting scared. Suddenly, Blaire gets a message titled “Val Plays The Game”. Blaire tries to forward it to Ken since Ken is apparently good with computers, but the message won’t allow her to do so. Adam thinks Blaire doesn’t know how to use a computer (which wouldn’t be too far off if she doesn’t know what an internet troll is) and Ken calmly just tells her to share the screen. Blaire does and they all find out Blaire wasn’t lying about not being able to forward the message. Jess says that weird computer shit happens all the time. Blaire finally clicks the link and it is a copy from a past text between Val and Laura before Laura died.

Not The Exact Thing That Would Normally Get Val’s Reaction. Instead, I Would Think Val Would Just Be Upset. But Then Again, All These People Are Obviously Assholes So, Maybe That Is How She Would Respond To Getting Exposed Like This.

Everyone thinks Val might be sick for having done this, but Ken just lays it out on the table and says Laura Burns was a bitch so she deserved all the shit she got from that video. Everyone else nicely tells Ken that he shouldn’t say that and Ken apologizes, saying it was in poor taste. On iMessage, Mitch reveals to Laura that Ken was not wrong and shows a YouTube video of Laura being a bitch with flash cards.

*Sigh* If You Are Going To Mean To Assholes On Flash Cards, You Follow The Matt Hardy Route.

Seriously, I Can’t Believe I Have To Give “Out Of WWE Has-Been” Matt Hardy A Freaking Compliment, Considering I Have Trashed The Guy’s Useless Ass On TNA In My Impact Implosion Shows

Blaire tries to tell Mitch that he didn’t know her like she did, saying she was dealing with stuff. Mitch wants her to explain what she was dealing with and Blaire says family stuff eventually, while initially wanting to talk about how she had this uncle when they were kids. What this uncle did, we will never know. Blaire then says she is going to hang up, but she gets a new message on Facebook from Laura saying that if she hangs up, all her friends will die. Laura freaks out about this and once again thinks Mitch typed it to her when it is obvious Mitch didn’t do it. Suddenly, messages on Instagram have people calling Val a monster.

Suddenly, “billie227” says that she said don’t hang up and suddenly, Val appears on the screen.

Val sits still and “billie227” tells Val to kill herself. They try to talk to Val, but she is silent. They think it is frozen, but the dog barking says otherwise. We then get a jump scare as the computer screen falls over. We then see that cops have arrived to the scene and they hear a 10-35, which is police code for time check. Blaire says she hears 5250, which Blaire highlights as code for mental case.

Despite It Saying 5150….Can You Not Freaking Read!!!!

Blaire then says that Val used to have seizures. Ken then corrects her by saying they said 10-55, which is code for suicide. We get another jump scare as the screen moves again revealing Val’s dead body.

Val’s end finally hangs up despite all of them trying to ask what is going on so all of them are now freaked out. “billie227” then reveals that all of them has dirty little secrets and she wants to expose them. She then reveals one of Blaire’s. Ken says no one should accept it, but with a title of “not boyfriend”, Blaire accepts it.

Yep…That Is Pictures Of Blaire And Adam Sleeping Together.

“billie227” asks if she has their attentions now. She also says that they are going to play a game tonight. Blaire tells everyone to pick up their phones and mute their computers. “billie227” then tells them that while it was a nice try to sneak away from her, she is able to unmute all their mics, which she does. Ken says this is all programming and Blaire tells Ken to get this person out. “billie227” then asks what Ken is doing and Ken tries to play innocent. We then find out via Blaire’s screen that Ken had sent everyone a Trojan Destroyer, which he hopes will destroy “billie227”.

Adam gets mad and goes over to get something. “billie227” senses what they are doing and tells them that they have a minute to stop and even puts up a countdown.

Blaire tries to empty everything in her trash bin and of course she can’t. Also Adam is waving a gun now.

Because Guns Will So Fix This Shit.

Blaire is able to empty everything at the last second, but the countdown goes to zero and “billie227” is gone, which they celebrate. They all then freak out on Adam for having a gun that he brags is in fact loaded. Blaire then types iMessage to Mitch almost thinking it was real and Mitch asking if she knows that it isn’t.

Oh And Nice Of Mitch To Type That When He Isn’t Even Facing His Computer Screen.

Blaire then tells Mitch not to freak her out and Mitch says “or what?” Blaire then threatens to send her dad over to fight him. Mitch says her dad isn’t home and Blaire asks how he knows. Mitch then says because he is out drinking with his dad. Oh and then links her to the RIP Laura Barns Facebook Community.

It seems Laura has more friends now than she ever did when she was alive. Meanwhile, Ken calls the police saying that someone is threatening him and his friends online and tries to give the IP address of the person threatening them. Suddenly, the phone tells Ken to not hang up and then “billie227” returns.

Suddenly, the webcam for “billie227” appears and it is under a crate. Ken gets up and it is revealed that the webcam of “billie227” is in Ken’s room, unbeknownst to Ken. They scream to Ken that it is in his room, Ken then realizes this and goes to check on under the crate.

Ken is speechless by what he finds and everyone gets disconnected before being reconnected. But now the live feed of “billie227” is gone and Ken’s webcam is also off. “billie227” also reveals that he told Ken not to hang up. Ken’s webcam turns on and we see Ken being violently assaulted by an unseen force and then force to have his hand cut up in the blender.

Everyone freaks out seeing this and Ken ultimately dies by having the blade of the blender puncture his neck.

So now that Ken is dead, Adam decides he is leaving when he hears a knock at the door. He goes to check on it and brings his webcam with him. Adam goes to the door and tells everyone in the chat that there is no one there. He closes the door and then there is another knock so Adam just locks the door while screaming who is there, which gets no response. Adam screams that he has a gun and the lights go out in his place. “billie227” tells Adam to sit down and shut up. When Adam asks what this person wants, “bille227” responds that she just wants to take out the trash. She then asks if everyone remembers the video.

Blaire plays dumb and asks what video so the Youtube video of “Laura Barns Kill Urself” is played showing Laura being drunk. Blaire tries to erase the video, but more of the video keeps popping up so that is a no go. We then move to the second part of the video where Laura is seen passed out under the bleachers. We then sadly see that Laura is so drunk that while passed out, that she shits herself.

The videos finally disappear and everyone is just silent, knowing they all have been called out on it. “bille227” also tells all of them that they are terrible people. They all try to explain that they had nothing to do with the video, but “bille227” is just not buying it. Blaire then goes to the forum about dead spirits in the internet and it reveals that the only way to free yourself is to confess what you did. Blaire tried to say that none of them meant what they said in the comments. Also she used the excuse that everyone was posting so they felt they had to as well. Great excuse, Blaire…the Nazi prisoners did the same thing during Nuremburg Trials and the reward for such an excuse was getting hanged.

Blaire then tries to explain that they are all good people and were just joking around. “billie227” then asks if they were good people and decides that she must find out. “billie227” decides that now is the time to play the game and the game is “Never Have I Ever”. Basically the rules are you have one hand with all five fingers up. When the lead person says “Never Have I Ever ___”, if you have done it, you have to put a finger down. If all five fingers are down, you lose. “billie227” also reveals that the loser is going to die instead of drink since this is normally a drinking game.

Adam doesn’t want to play, but “billie227” tells him to chill or he will die anyway. The mysterious person even turns back on the lights for Adam. Blaire asks why and the response is that she knows why. “billie227” also tells Jess she must play as well or she will die. They all decide to play.

The first thing is “Never Have I Ever STARTED A RUMOR THAT BLAIRE HAS AN EATING DISORDER.” Jess puts a finger down and Blaire freaks out. Blaire then says that Jess said it was Val and Jess reveals she lied about it being Val. Jess told Blaire that it isn’t like there was some truth to it.

The next thing is “Never Have I Ever CRASHED JESS’ MOTHER’S CAR.” Blaire is sadly the one who puts her finger down and now it is time for Jess to get mad. Blaire says she was drunk and it happened, meaning she didn’t know how to tell Jess. Jess tells her “Fuck You” while Adam tells Blaire that she is a great friend. Blaire’s response is that she has apologized and Jess hasn’t. Mitch tells all of them to stop it as they must keep together on this.

The next item is “Never Have I Ever MADE OUT WITH LAURA BURNS.” In a shocker to Blaire, Mitch puts his finger down revealing that he did it. Mitch says that Laura kissed him and he threw her off so nothing happened. Blaire closes her eyes and says that is fine.

Now it is time for “Never Have I Ever SOLD OUT ADAM TO THE COPS FOR SELLING WEED.” Once again, Mitch puts his finger down and Adam is furious by this as they put him in handcuffs. Adam also almost had a record and his dad almost disowned him for that. Mitch apologizes and says that it was either going to be both of them or one of them. Mitch tries to say it doesn’t matter now, but I don’t think Adam is going to forgive Mitch anytime soon.

The next item on the docket is “Never Have I Ever STOLE $800 FROM ADAM.” Adam then says that his so-called friends are fucked up and Jess reveals that she did it as Adam didn’t need the money. As they are arguing, Blaire goes on iMessage to tell Mitch to lay off Adam as he is going through a lot and tells him to remember formal. She says that Adam is drunk now as he was back then.

Next is “Never Have I Ever OFFERED TO TRADE JESS’ LIFE FOR MINE.” “billie227” counts down while Adam keeps telling Blaire to put the finger down. Mitch defends Blaire saying she wouldn’t do that and Adam sarcastically says that it must be because Blaire always tells the truth. Adam then relents and puts his finger down. Jess is not happy and Mitch calls Adam a piece of shit. Blaire tries to tell Mitch to stop and keep him cool through this. Blaire tells everyone to calm down since this is exactly what “billie227” wants.

Adam then decides to say that he’ll ask a question which is easy so “bille227” won’t have to bother. It is “Never Have I Ever HAD SEX” Adam then puts down a finger and the countdown starts. Jess also puts down a finger since they all know she has slept around. And Blaire sadly has to put a finger down, which makes her boyfriend Mitch unnerved.

It gets even worse when the next question made by Adam is “Never Have I Ever FUCKED MY BOYFRIEND’S BEST FRIEND”. Blaire is incensed by Adam doing this to all of them and finally, Blaire puts her finger down…admitting that she slept with Adam. This causes Mitch to be angry as all hell and Blaire tries to make excuses that they were both drunk. Blaire is angry at Adam for doing this and Adam reminds Mitch that he told him that this doesn’t matter while telling Blaire, “Fuck You”. “bille227” then decides to hack Blaire’s Spotify so it plays “How You Lie, Lie, Lie” by Connie Conway.

Mitch decides that it is his turn to play and he says “Never Have I Ever ROOFIED ASHLEY DANE.” Adam tries to say that Ashley lied before eventually putting his finger down while Blaire tries once again to get control of the situation. Mitch tells Blaire that he wants to hear nothing from her and calls her a slut, something Blaire doesn’t want to hear. Blaire tries to say it only lasted a second while Adam says “Fuck You” to and Mitch says why would she think that would make things better.

Mitch then says that “Never Have I Ever FORCED ASHLEY DANE TO GET AN ABORTION.” Adam once again puts his finger down and tells Mitch not to do this. Mitch yells at Adam that he took his girl so he has nothing to lose. Adam then tries to say it wasn’t like that between him and Blaire so “bille227” decides to play a video from YouTube of the two having sex.

Blaire tries to tell Mitch not to watch or read into “billie227”’s shit. She says she loves Mitch and this whole sexual encounter with Adam didn’t mean anything, but Mitch is just too heartbroken to respond. “billie227” decides it is time to continue playing and Adam threatens the vengeful user with a gun, threatening to fucking kill that person. Suddenly, printers on both Adam and Blaire activate and prints out a sheet of paper. Both ready what it says and are horrified. Mitch, enraged, demands to find out what is on Blaire’s paper and threatens to hang up if she doesn’t. Mitch then gives Blaire a minute to explain the Youtube video and Blaire says that they met up again to see if it was just a fluke or more and it turned out to be just them getting drunk. Mitch then tells Blaire to show him the paper. After pleas not to hang up and Mitch not really caring if “billie227” kills him if he hangs up (which “billie227” says will happen if he hangs up), Blaire reveals the paper.

Then as the note said, Adam shoots himself in the head.

It turned out that Adam’s note said the same thing, but Blaire would die if he revealed the note. Jess goes after Mitch saying he killed Adam and Mitch is in a corner, shaken by what he has done. Suddenly, Blaire gets a pop up add asking if it can share a secret with her and it is three words: Free Live Cams. It then shows a bunch of people dancing and stripping and someone Blaire makes it on the pop up ad.

Basically, The Ad Is About Trying To Get Women To Strip For You

Blaire says Adam was right and they just can’t listen to her. At that exact moment, “billie227” decides it is time to resume the game of “Never Have I Ever”. In fact, “billie227” has a question for Jess. The question is “Never Have I Ever DEFACED LAURA BARNS’ GRAVE”. Blaire tells Jess not to answer and there is banging coming out of Jess’ door.

Blaire goes to Chatroullete in hopes of getting some help. Blaire tries with the first two guys from Bhutan and they just skip her. She tries two more times, once with a guy and once with a girl and both of them skip her as well. She tries someone from Spain, but he is of no help as he skips her. More people skip her until she gets to some stoners from Beachwood Canyon. They joke around so she skips them. She also skips a guy who just shows his ass. She finally gets a woman with glasses from Nevada who is willing to listen to her story.

The woman from Nevada calls the police from Blaire’s hometown and talks about the situation that she has been faced with and tells Blaire that the police will be at Jess’ house soon. Blaire gets off and reveals that the police will be there in five minutes. But a minute after that, Jess’ signal goes down, “billie227” says goodbye to Jess, and then when it comes back up…

Jess Is Deep Throating The Curling Iron From Earlier

Blaire screams at this while Mitch is just too shaken to react. So it is down to two people that “billie227” is after. Blaire gets a new photo from Jess’ account and it is this gem.

The lights go out to both Claire and Mitch’s houses and both also begin to lose connection. Both finally get their connection in order and the several minutes of dead air is broken up by an alarm from Claire’s end that she set as both of them have a test for tomorrow. Everything seems to be alright now as Mitch tells Blaire that he doesn’t hate her. “billie227” then posts “Never Have I Ever POSTED THE VIDEO OF DRUNK LAURA”. Both once again exclaim their innocence. At this point, I’m not going to bother separating Laura Barns from “billie227” because even they know it is her ghost. Laura begins the countdown.

It is at this point that Laura Barns decides to message Blaire again. This time, Laura wants Blaire to confirm to her that Mitch was the one who posted the inflammatory video. After a few minutes of thinking and Laura badgering her to stop protecting him, Blaire says that it was Mitch who did it. This of course results in Mitch’s death via stabbing himself in the eye with the knife.

Blaire screams and says how sorry she is about the whole thing. Laura then thanks Blaire for being a true friend and helping her dole out justice to those who screwed her, but she has one more thing to do as the countdown begins while music plays. Blaire is perplexed by this while still trying to tell her that they have been friends since childhood and the countdown goes to zero before revealing the culprit of the video.

It Was Blaire The Whole Time

Not that this comes as to any real shock. I mean, throughout this whole thing, it has been Blaire who has been giving bad advice and it was Blaire many times who led to the deaths of her friends around her and lying multiple times. Basically, you could almost figure out from the beginning of this movie that Blaire did the video when she was freaking playing the suicide and started playing the video that was still on YouTube (even though as I have mentioned, that would be impossible due to YouTube having certain rules against cyber-bullying videos).

The Facebook responses start pouring in and all of them are mad at Blaire for doing all of this and they are unfriending her by a lot. Laura says that she wishes she could forgive Blaire, but what she has done will live online forever. Laura finally hangs up from Skype and Blaire is all alone in the call, even though I don’t think Skype allows you to have a one person video chat, even if there were others.

Now, Blaire seeing all of this and having to live the rest of her days knowing what she has done and what the consequences were for her actions, but sadly…this was in a period where Blumhouse Productions (the studio mostly behind this film) made all their movies have a jump scare for an ending so…

Laura’s Ghost Has To Jump In And Kill Blaire.

And that is how we end this movie.

With a $1 million dollar budget, the film made a worldwide gross of $64.1 million, making it sadly a huge success for the studio and of course, a sequel has been greenlit and is in development. How it will connect to the previous film other than “cyber ghost kills her bullies” is anyone’s guess since all the main characters in this film are dead and Laura Barns’ ghost has been avenged. But I’m sure Blumhouse will find something they can try to justify for the sequel’s existence other than you know, money. It would also not surprise you to learn that everyone in this movie has really done nothing of note, save for Shelly Hennig (who played Blaire) as she was also a main character in Ouija and is right now Malia Tate on the MTV teen drama series Teen Wolf, which is a series remake of the hit COMEDY movie known also as Teen Wolf starring Michael J. Fox.

By The Way, RIP To The Director Of That Film Rod Daniel, Who Died A Few Days Ago

My final thoughts on this movie is this was a really excruciating sit for me as this movie does everything wrong. The scares are terrible and are done in such a jump cut manner that the effect is gone almost immediately (hell, we don’t even know how Val died to be brutally honest). The moment where they are reading out a wrong number to a police code is just irritating. Most of the film, you have to sit there and watch as people type (and sometimes they are supposed to be typing when you don’t hear their keyboards or are in a position where you know they are not typing). But probably the biggest sin to this movie is every character is unredeemable. Well, I can’t truly say all of them as that one woman on Chatroullete was nice and actually was trying to help considering the insane circumstances, but she is very brief that it doesn’t save the film. Even Laura Burns (the victim and ghost hoping to get her revenge) is an unlikeable person from every account you see of her when she was alive. The only guess as to why studios do this to their characters is to make the audience not be that heartbroken if they die, but the reverse effect is no one cares enough about any of them to begin with. Also, if you are unhappy with the amount of text in this review and less pictures, this movie gives me basically nothing to have fun with so blame the film. Overall, this whole film was just a huge mistake and hopefully I will be able to forget about it.

Well, NegaSeth had his fun of seeing me suffer through this dog shit of a movie so now it is time for the summer that belongs to me since I won the Fantasy Football bet. From May to September, I will be giving you 5 films that I like while most people probably do not. And because there are so many of them, I have decided to separate five films by decades they came out and the first will be a film from the late 1970s. It is also from our old pal Roger Corman and it is…

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Impact Implosion for April 19 - Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

With news of the new investors and other things going on, you would think TNA would put their best foot forward. You would be completely wrong as this episode is mostly a set-up for next week's show being subtitled Sacrifice and this episode being the one that finally made me give the dreaded F to. Seriously, this episode had so many problems like a 9 minute ladder match, hostage taking in 2016, Al Snow winning a match in 2016, the X-Division Title Match being just pointless and done with no care at all, Mike Bennett seemingly falling back on his promo skills, and finally, a sloppy I Quit Match with no real ending. TNA better hope Sacrifice is as good as it is projected or we are not going to have a fun April at all. 

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Thursday, April 14, 2016

Impact Implosion for April 12 - Galloway & Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy & Tyrus

Well, back to the normal shows with this week. I mean, almost everything in this show was okay (the Knockouts segment being the only exception of something bad). It was just one of those shows that was harmless, but did nothing more. The hyped up EC3-Mike Bennett match was not the main event and with that DQ finish, I could see why. We finally had an X-Division segment, but it was an original title match turned into a non-title match with a different guy for reasons. Oh yeah, and we get to make fun of TNA's bad week in the news. 

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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Seth & Mike's Impact Implosion for April 5 - Big Money Matt vs. Drew Galloway

The episode known as Revenge was actually really good, but nothing that put it over the top so it got a B in that department. Both matches with the Hardys were good despite the world title match not being that long. We had a good street fight between Lashley (or as I call him Franklin and the Pope that basically was a squash, but hey it was still better than the one done by Brock and Ambrose at Wrestlemania (yeah, I think that Mania sucked this year). We saw more passion and personality out of Mike Bennett in his entire time in TNA. And we saw Trevor Lee give a shit during a segment he was in. The only problem I kind of had was with the women's match and that issue was with how Jade winning her first Knockouts Title was not played up at all while instead focusing on Maria and Gail Kim (Maria did hit Gail with the belt). 

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