Sunday, August 31, 2014

Seth & Mike's Impact Implosion for August 28th, 2014

Sorry about it being late, but here is the show. Basically it was a short show since there wasn't much news. There were a few good matches, but they were at the end so the beginning of the show either sucked or was forgettable. I was nicer about the show than my co-host was, but yeah...we both believed in the end that it was okay.

Click Here To Listen

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Monster Crap Inductee: Alien Files (aka Sex Files: Alien Erotica) (1998)

Monster Crap Inductee: Alien Files (aka Sex Files: Alien Erotica)
Because Space Fungus Also Need Loving Too


Space fungus…in need of some love. SPACE FUNGUS…IN NEED OF SOME LOVE!!! Should I really say anything more?

You’re Damn Right You Need To Say More Than That. This Is An Induction, Not Your Twitter Feed

*Sigh* Alright, as some of you know from the last induction, the guy who had a screenplay credit for The Killer Eye directed this film. Yeah, Rolfe Kanefsky has had humble beginnings in the world of porn and if you are wondering why I say humble beginnings, you’ll find out when I talk about this film’s aftermath.

Now surprisingly this film is actually one of the many films in the Sex Files series, which is basically a series of films meant to be porn spoofs of the hot show in the 90s, The X Files. Other films in this series are: Digital Sex, Sexually Bewitched, Ancient Desires, Pleasure World, Pleasureville, Portrait of the Souls, Restless Souls, Sexual Matrix, Alien Erotica II (yeah, there was a sequel to this film), and plenty of others. What they all have in common besides some of the actors appearing in several of these, is the producer Alain Siritzky.

Alain is a very well-known producer of softcore porn, just like Zalman King. Alain’s biggest accomplishment is being a producer of the Emmanuelle films, which is based on a character created by Emmanuelle Arsan in the 1959 novel Emmanuelle. The originally started out as a series of French soft-core films and luck would have it, made its way into the United States with spinoffs like Emmanuelle In Space, Emmanuelle 2000, Emmanuelle Private Collections, & Emmanuelle Through Time. There is also a US TV film called Emmanuelle. Basically all the films and TV episodes in canon with the character from the books are owned by Alain Siritzky.

But that’s not to say Alain didn’t do other series besides the Emmanuelle stuff, he also has produced the Justine series, the Passion & Romance series, the Scandal series, as well as films not connected by any series, I think. So yeah, we are basically going into the big times as far as the softcore film industry goes.


Yes, we got all that. Thank you creepy owl from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time. I think we can Well, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get into this film.

We first get a info about what we are about to see or hear is highly classified since it is some of the most guarded and highly unusual sexual known or rather unknown to man. We are also about to greater than good and more addictive than desire. These are of course in a series reports known as…

Originally Sex Files Was What It Was Going To Be Said, But You Know…They Had To Change The Title Because Alternate Titles And All

We then get an X-Files like montage (with even X-Files ripoff music) of all the stuff that happens in these series of films that I can’t show you because most of them involve having sex. By the way, in the original version, after the montage ended, there was a title that said Alien Erotica, but that was removed as well and replaced with….

Why The Title Of The Film Again…..For No Reason Whatsoever. Oh And Also We Are At An Exterior Government Compound, Which Has An Unknown Location.

Apparently there was a ship of astronauts that went into space with five crew members, then they lost contact with them, then they came back and four were forced to go into the infirmary while the one is in the interview room.

We Then Meet Agent Preston, Agent Forrest, & Col. Parks

Ah Kira Reed (The woman in the middle for those of you who have to ask). She was my second porn star crush and she lasted for quite a while as a crush of mine. I’ve seen her in films and shows like an episode of Thrills, an episode of Beverly Hills Bordello, an episode of Re Shoe Diaries, two episodes of Erotic Confessions, Losing Control, an episode of Nightcap, Surrender, Alien Erotica II, Sexual Intrigue, House of Love, The Mistress Club, an episode of Thrills….

We get it, you’ve seen her in a lot of films. But what I am more interested in is the voice of Col. Parks. I have heard it before...

Oh God!!! It’s Sheriff Rocker from Zarkorr: The Invader!!

No, No, NO, I Will Not Have Zarkorr Causing Havoc With My Sanity Here.

Also, he is a voice actor and appeared in a Hentai known as Mezzo Forte.

Goddamn you, Pete. Moving back to the film, Agent Forrest seems to take everything way to seriously and is no amused to be the partner of Agent Preston, who is kind of womanizing and makes jokes at times. We also learn that the one not in the infirmary is Anne Gallo, who was the computer analyst of the crew. Col. Parks says that he knows Anne personally and she must be sick because she would never act the way she has been acting lately. There has been a security breach in the place where Anne is being held and they go down to find out that Officer Dunne went in to check on her, locked the door, and hasn’t come out. So since this was an interrogation room, there is a two way mirror where they can see what is going on and…

Let’s Just Say That They All See That Anne Is Having Sex With Dunne. They Are Both Naked And Her Breasts Are In Plain View.

Agent Forrest leaves the room and Preston explains that she seems to be a little uptight when it comes to sex right now and they will eventually break her in. Yep…Agent Forrest is uptight about sex and yet she is on a team in the Feds that deals with sexually related phenomena. Who the fuck hired her for this job?

Hey, She Has A Nice Rack

Ugh…..moving on. Col. Parks says Anne was never like this, well not with him anyway.

Spoken Like A Guy Who Wished Anne Had Sex With Him

After several minutes of them having sex, security finally is able to break the two up and thankfully for this induction, finally get some clothes on Anne.

Anne is played by the attractive Gabriella Hall, who I have seen in such shows and films as 3 episodes of Erotic Confessions, two episodes of Intimate Sessions, 11 episodes of Beverly Hills Bordello (she was the second Mary Winston, the lead character of the show), The Exotic Time Machine, 1 episode of The Pleasure Zone, Ilicit Lovers, Alien Erotica II, Lawful Entry…

Obviously, you have seen her in a lot of stuff. Anyway, Anne then explains to Preston, Forrest, and Parks about what happened on the ship. The crew was returning from the Nebulus System.

Anne is about to go on watch, but gets grilled and teased by Lou Benson and Karen Gilmore about her having sex with machines.

Laura Palmer, also known as Petra Sexton thanks to her marriage to Charlie Sexton. She is well known for being a porn star of the 90s and her most known stuff is The Perils of Ms. Parker, Stripper Wives, and the Erotic House of Wax.

The alarm sounds and we get to see Lt. Russ Allen to tell everyone to not panic as some debris is floating by the ship.

The full crew is on screen as we then meet Dr. Claire Danning.

That is Delphine Pacific, who while I am not attracted to her much, I can’t make too much of a fuss since apparently by the time this film premiered, she was 40 years old. IMDB really has her only 12 credits as an actress, but as you will see later, IMDB really isn’t great with casts of porn films.

We then find out that it is some form of floating fungus.

Guilala Better Not Be In That Fungus.

Dr. Danning wants to get a piece of the fungus for research and gets a piece of it with the ship’s metal arm. Danning thanks Russ for his consent, but she accidentally calls him Russ instead of “Lieutenant” which means they do have some personal bond. Anne goes to run a system’s check and of course, Russ looks at her ass as she leaves. Lou tells them that it is too bad that they only hire “Asexual” females on this trip. Lou, just because straight women on this trip would prefer not to have sex in space doesn’t mean they are Asexual. Besides, let’s not talk about Asexual anything because otherwise, you are making me have 1998 Godzilla flashbacks.

Which By The Way, I Did Enjoy The Crew Of Rifftrax Making Fun Of This Month

Anyway, Lou then mentions that since Karen is a lesbian, she is just as sexually frustrated as they are. Then Karen comes up to them and says that she doesn’t think that is possible. They of course don’t report the fungus because it seems trivial at this time. Dr. Danning starts inspects the fungus and finds that it is non-toxic and has no radiation so of course, Claire Danning removes her face mask.

Because I Guess To Her, Poison Or Radioactivity Are The Only Two Reasons To Have A Freaking Facemask on. It’s Not Like It’s A Fungus Or Anything And It Can Produce Pollen and Other Stuff……Oh Wait!!!

She even sees the fungus emitting some sort of powder as it seems to be trying to pollenate and still thinks nothing can go wrong here. She gets exactly what she deserves as when she inspects it with tweezers, she gets a face full of powder.

Congrats On That Darwin Award, Doctor…You More Than Deserve It.

She starts coughing it up and then for some reason, she starts getting aroused.

I Think It Is Safe To Assume That You All Know That She Is Going To Go Masturbate.

And She Is Going To Be Using That Secretion.

So After several minutes of masturbation time, something comes out of her. And That Being is now a doppelganger of Dr. Danning. While controlling the ship, Anne has a conversation with Lt. Allen. Anne reports that Lou is still flirting with every female member and the same can be said for Karen. Russ asks about her and Anne says that she came here to do a job and that is exactly what she is doing. Russ tries to get her to join him on his break, but Anne says that she will be more than happy to take a break with him….after the mission is over in two days. Russ laughs and says that he can wait that long and says that if the ladies can show self-control, so can the men in this crew. Anne then says to take a lesson from Dr. Danning, who shows up asking about why her name was mentioned. Claire has something she would like to discuss with Russ privately and Anne then leaves. You can kind of guess where this is going after he smells her “new perfume”.

Yep…..They Have Sex, Although It Looks Like She Has Transformed At Times Into Anne (Because Obviously, Russ Wants To Have Sex With Anne).

While they are having sex, Anne goes to the lab and finds Dr. Danning trying to molest her.

After this all ends, the real Dr. Danning and Russ both pass out, Claire telling Anne to stop the fungus that is acting like a doppelganger. Then it is Karen’s turn to get molested in the weight room by the doppelganger.

And after the deed is complete and Karen is finished, the doppelganger turns into Karen.

As Anne looks for the doppelganger with the gun, she finds Karen who is passed out. Meanwhile, the doppelganger is having sex with Lou.

Like telepathy, Karen feels the sex going through her body and tries to rape Anne, before just going into masturbation. The doppelganger causes Lou to pass out as Anne continues searching for it with a ray gun.

She runs into the doppelganger in Karen form. When asked about Lou, the doppelganger says that Lou is resting for the moment, but when he wakes up, he’ll be ready to go again if Anne is interested. Anne goes for the gun, but the doppelganger has it and is wondering what she is doing with it. The doppelganger then gives Anne a whiff of the perfume and Anne has a fantasy about getting fucked by machine wires.

Nope, Not Making Any Of That Up. Apparently The Teases Of Anne Wanting To Have Sex With Machines Earlier Were True.

Now the doppelganger wants to have sex with Anne, but Anne is fighting it. A chase ensues and then Karen comes after her.

That is where we see the story end, but Anne continues to say that she fought the doppelganger, opened the air duct, and forced it into outer space. Of course, she was able to close it before she herself went to outer space and that’s the end of the story, believing that the scent is what is causing her issues as well as all the others However, Preston has issues with that ending because he believes he has heard it before (PS…that was how Ripley defeated her foe in the 1979 Sci-Fi/Horror classic Alien). Another guard comes in and says that while cleaning up the ship, they found something and he would like them to check it out immediately. So they all leave the interrogation room guarded by two female officers.

Ah, those two female guards are played by Lauren Hays (the brunette/redhead whose name on the credits is Nancy) and Blake Pickett (aka Emma Joones) (who plays the blonde named Kelly Connor. You can kind of guess which one gets the bigger role as one has a full name and the other doesn’t.

Lauren Hays is a very attractive lass who I have seen in plenty of films and shows like an episode of Beverly Hills Bordello, Life of a Gigolo, Club Wild Side, Temptations, all 13 episodes of Thrills (she was the star of that show), all 13 episodes of the first season of Hotel Erotica (she was the star of that show as well), and Perfectly Legal.

Blake Pickett was the bigger star at the time and who has been in such films as The Exotic Time Machine, Sexecutioner (another Sex Files film), and Confessions of a Lap Dancer. She is also very attractive, but in my mind not as attractive as Lauren Hayes. I guess I’m probably the least attracted to blondes for some reason even though some of my porn crushes have been blondes.

Moving on, after they leave, Anne calls for a glass of water from one of the guards, which is Kelly. Of course she as she hands her the glass of water, Anne grabs her arm and as you guessed it, the Anne we have been seeing was the doppelganger the whole time.

What A Twist!

Col. Parks and the two agents go to the infirmary and find that the thing they found on the ship was the real Anne Gallo, who is having a telepathic orgasm.

They all then realize that the Anne they have been talking to was actually the alien doppelganger so they rush back to interrogation. But when they get there, Nancy says that her partner went to check on the prisoner and then left to get an aspirin. The agents enter the room and it is the real Kelly nude on the table. Nancy tries to say that is impossible as she saw her walk out, but Preston confirms that she saw the doppelganger alien instead and they don’t think she plans on coming back. Col. Parks goes on the speakers and asks all people to lock the gates as he also sounds the alarm.

Unfortunately as you can guess, the doppelganger already is having sex with a male guard in the parking lot.

After the sex and the guard passing out, the doppelganger steals the keys and car and opens the gate, making an escape before the agents can apprehend her. Forrest wonders how they are going to able to catch the doppelganger, but Preston says that while she stays in that form, they believe they still have a link which is Kelly. Back in the interrogation room, Forrest wonders how any of what they heard was true and Preston says that until the part about the air lock, everything adds up. Preston then thinks that the earlier sex with the male guard was just to throw them off the scent so they could put two female guards there and she could then make her escape.

Col. Parks asks if he believes that this doppelganger can’t take the form of the man and Preston says it hasn’t thus far and man has a different genetic composition than a woman and since it first bound with a female, his guess is that it is stuck in that form. Forrest then makes a sarcastic remark of great because now they only have to keep an eye out for half the population. Preston then asks Kelly what happened and Kelly tells the story of how she couldn’t control herself due to the aroma and got an orgasm by the doppelganger. Forrest has a hard time buying any of this and Preston says her seeing the way things are is why she is here. Preston then says that with Kelly’s help, they believe they can catch this. So the two agents take Kelly with them and they head out of the compound on the road to search for the creature. Meanwhile, the doppelganger makes a stop at a gas station and pays the attendant to fill her car up.

While in the car, Preston has an idea of having Kelly try and masturbate to get a psychic link with the doppelganger in an attempt to find her location, much to the chagrin of Forrest, who is repulsed by all of this. This of course despite the fact that Agent Forrest herself joked about needing a sexual arousal to have a psychic link. Forrest then asks Preston to remind her to transfer out of this division when this case is finished. Meanwhile I am wondering how she transferred into this division in the first place since she had no idea this division was about sexual phenomena. You would think her former boss would inform her about the division she is transferring to and the fact that they deal with sexual stuff would come up.

Of course this theory works as the doppelganger feels it and they realize she is at a Schellco gas station.

And You Thought I Was Misspelling Shelco Here. No, As Porno Pete Has Told Me, Porn Flicks Like To Spell Or Straight Up Change The Name Of A Real Place As A Sort Of Parody.

But because of all of this arousal stuff, the doppelganger now feels the “need to feed”. Fortunately for her, a young couple named Will & Monique pulls up and wants to have sex in the bathroom.


That woman playing Monique is Ravanelle Richardson, who I sadly know not much about and this is where even IMDB fails since she is not even credited by them as being in this film even though the actual film credits say otherwise. The only thing they have her in is another one of the Sex Files films called Restless Souls.

They two start having sex and the doppelganger masturbates in the other stall. This of course the real Kelly feels and says she might be about to change bodies. Then the Kelly doppelganger knocks out Will and as Monique is about to go for help, she is grabbed by the doppelganger and is molested in the other stall. Of course now that the doppelganger has taken the form of Monique, Kelly feels nothing now which means the psychic link has ended and the agents rush to the gas station.

The doppelganger looks at her new body and decides that she must have sex with Will. And she does, almost causing Will to pass out because of over-sexing (because he is tired and she still wants to go). However, the psychic link still somewhat works as the doppelganger senses them coming so she makes a getaway…stealing Will’s car after trying to get back in the car she came in, but due to the different form, the gas attendant refuses to let her drive away.

Of course Will comes out and sees the doppelganger driving away in his car and tries to chase after it, thinking Monique just stole his car. He tells the agents that his girlfriend stole his car and when asked if he can identify her, Will says of he can because it is his girlfriend. So they drop off Kelly to her car and pick up Will to chase after the doppelganger. Meanwhile the real Monique comes out of the bathroom and asks the gas station attendant and Kelly if she has seen Will or the car.

Wah Wah Wahhhhhh

While in the van with the agents, Will can’t believe that she goes nuts on him and then she steals his car. Preston asks if he was sexually assaulted and Will says it almost felt that way as she was like a wild animal. Then Forrest has to make the snide comment about it being more like a wild vegetable. She then thinks backup will help, but Preston says no because we need to keep a low profile…..and then goes speeding. Low profile, my ass.

I’m Sure You Will Still Keep A Low Profile When The Cops Pull Your Ass Over For Reckless Driving

Will even mentions as they go off road to pass some trucks that Preston is going to get them killed, to which Preston responds that he should not worry because they are insured. Yeah, I’m sure it will be very nice of that insurance to insure you after you’re dead. Then Will finally decides to put his seatbelt on. I would make a Click It Or Ticket joke, but I’m he’s a passenger in the backseat and we never see them give tickets in those commercials for that.

The car chase brings them to nightfall and we see Will and Agent Forrest play Go Fish while Preston is still driving.

Man, I Want To Play Go Fish Too. Stupid Car That I Have To Manually Drive. I Wish I Was In A Taxi.

The chase finally ends at a strip club, where Monique enters. The agents enter as well and they tell Will to watch the door and make sure she doesn’t escape. Of course Forrest makes another remark asking why she doesn’t think that the doppelganger will be the only female inside. Forrest, that is mostly anywhere where the doppelganger won’t be the only female inside.

Well, You’re Right About The Doppelganger Not Being The Only Female Inside, But Since This Is A Strip Club…That Would Be Rather Weird If She Was The Only Female Inside.

By the way, that stripper is played by Avalon Anders who was in seven episodes of the Showtime softcore porn series Hot Springs Hotel, an episode of Red Shoe Diaries, an episode of Beverly Hills Bordello as well as other films. Yeah, this is basically a cameo for her.

Preston checks in the several rooms that are for lap dances only and runs into a girl in a bikini who is wondering what the fuck he is doing in this area.

That is Shayna Ryan, who was in films and shows like Pleasurecraft, an episode of the Pleasure Zone, Bikini Hoe Down, and Stripper Wives.

After that small distraction, the doppelganger attacks Preston and beats him up. Forrest tries to stop her, but the doppelganger runs into her and they both fall over. While on the ground, the doppelganger decides that it is changing time.

With A Face That Looks Like She Is Ready To Swallow My Soul

But yeah, the doppelganger turns into Agent Forrest.

Enjoyed Playing With Ya, Hone…..But I Gotta Go.

The doppelganger runs out of the strip club past Will, who thinks it is the actual agent before she and Preston show up to confirm that they let the doppelganger escape.

Yeah, I Would Have That Look Of Befuddlement Too

The doppelganger escapes by hitching a ride on a fire truck and this is where the agents and Will part ways. But before they leave, Will says that if they see his girlfriend, to tell her that he is breaking up with her. Forrest also confirms that she is now the psychic link to the doppelganger.

The agents decide to rent out a room at a motel. Forrest thinks they should still be out looking for it, but Preston says it won’t go very far since it is linked to her and exhaustion doesn’t help the investigation. Forrest wants to know what that aroma was because it made her dizzy and while she wanted to fight it, she couldn’t. Preston first jokes that it is repressed lesbian tendencies before really saying that pollen as we know it are powder like sex cells that are found on flower stems so if this pollen is laced with pheromones, it could easily have a physical effect on people, making their bodies react on their own, like the same scent a female dog gives off when she is in heat. Forrest then says that I guess we will all start howling at the moon.

Or Sing That Stupid Song That For Some Reason You Can’t Get Out Of Your Head And Oh Dear God…It’s Happening Again. Damn You Stephen Parsons & Babel For Making That Song.

Forrest then falls over and says it is like her whole body just fell asleep, which Parsons takes to mean that the doppelganger is going to sleep now so he helps her to bed. She wants to stay awake, but Preston refuses and asks Forrest to try something. Forrest refuses on the whole masturbating thing, but that isn’t what Preston wants. He instead wants her to sleep and if she does that, she may get into the subconscious of the doppelganger. She thinks that because it is an alien, she doesn’t even know if they dream, but Preston says that it is an alien inside a human body so it has to abide by our rules.

The Blair Monster From John Carpenter’s The Thing Wonders When The Hell Did It Have To Follow Human Rules.
Forrest closes her eyes and eventually sees dreams inside the creature.

Which Is Sleeping On An Alleyway And Oh Dear God…The Terrible Things That Could Happen To A Woman That Attractive On An Alleyway.

Okay, back to the dreams. We see that the doppelganger is dreaming about meeting someone named Adam.

She Better Be Careful Freddy Kruger Doesn’t Show Up.

Not That Freddy Kruger

That Freddy Kruger
Anyway, the doppelganger in Karen’s body (she likes that body the best so far is the reason) and the two have sex. Of course, Agent Forrest in that dream world gets caught and has to wake up before it turns into a nightmare. She confirms all that she saw, adding that there is already a male doppelganger here and adds that she thinks the aliens know that they know. Preston then calls Col. Parks to get here immediately.

The next day, the doppelganger wakes up and the first thing on her mind is food. Meanwhile Col. Parks shows up and talks to Preston while Forrest is still sleeping. Preston reveals that Forrest is psychically linked with the doppelganger. Preston also reveals that she saw that there is another alien doppelganger here named Adam. Col. Parks then reveals that there was a former astronaut who was in that same area during his flight four years ago named Adam and he supposes that the two are going to want an explanation.

Meanwhile in the kitchen of the diner, a cook gets ready to cook up breakfast while a bus boy takes the trash outside. The cook tells the bus boy to get busy cleaning up those tables as it will be busy here in twenty minutes. The alien doppelganger shows up and you can kind of guess the cook and her are about to have sex.

Preston is not happy about not being told about Adam, but Parks says that he wasn’t too sure about all of this and only had suspicions and the agents just confirmed them. Of course the argument is halted by Agent Forrest moaning and starting to feel what the doppelganger is feeling. Parks wants to wake up, but Preston says to just allow her to have her wet dream so the Colonel decides that he is just going to wait by the window until it is done. Suddenly in the kitchen, the bus boy shows up and the doppelganger decides that she wants to have sex with him.

Yep….It Is His Turn.

Eventually Agent Forrest in the motel finishes her wet dream and wakes up with Preston say “Morning”. At the diner, Col. Parks reveals that they had sent a team to that region before and everything seemed fine when they came back, except for all the women wanting to have sex with Commander Adam Lewiston. Afterwards, Adam quit NASA, divorced his wife, and disappeared into the wilderness to become a hermit. He says that it is obvious that the same commander who went on that mission was not the same one that came back. Preston’s guess is that the male version of the species kills the original because it doesn’t like that psychic link stuff happening. They surmise that the female doppelganger was the male’s mate and now she is looking for him to have a reunion. Col. Parks does not want this to happen since the male one killed one of his astronauts and spreads a dangerous sex violence in their wake.

So the bus boy from earlier goes to deliver coffee to the Colonel and low and behold, he recognizes the real Agent Forrest as the doppelganger and he freaks out. He tries to run away, but they eventually catch up to him. He then reveals that she sexually assaulted him and the cook is in the hospital after suffering a heart attack. So yes, now you know that this alien female doppelganger changes form when touching women and fucks men until they suffer from exhaustion. And you have to give credit to this actor who is playing the bus boy here, he does act like someone who was just raped by a woman and it is rare and refreshing to see that, especially with most of the media portraying rape as a thing that only happens to women or to guys by other guys.

Yeah, now that I am off my soapbox, back to the film. He also reveals that she would have done the same thing to him as she did the cook if a person named Marco had not come in and scared her off. When asked if she said anything to him before he left, the bus boy said she did and that it was like “Today is going to be a grand day”. With that and the fact that they are in Arizona, they surmise that it can only mean one thing and that is the doppelganger is heading to the Grand Canyon.

So they head to the Grand Canyon and since this whole area is too much ground to carry on foot, they get a helicopter. Agent Forrest does not like this idea because being up in the air for some reason gets her horny.

 Ah, So Agent Forrest Must Be Related To Donna Stratton from 1941.

Preston then jokes about how this makes the decision quite easy and thus they are all on a helicopter and yeah, Agent Forrest is getting horny so Preston decides to ask her to try and use that psychic link. Of course this does help then realize that the doppelganger is on a Mule’s trail, which all are on the south rim of the canyon heading to the river. He tells the pilot to head there and the pilot reveals there will be some turbulence. Oh boy, you know what that means.

Yep…She Tries To Have Sex With Preston, With Preston Trying To Stop Her As She Isn’t Herself.

Careful Agent Forrest, that would make you in the eyes of the law a serial rapist and even though we all know as a viewing audience that the first one was an actual doppelganger, I have a sneaking suspicion that no one in this world would believe that story.

Forrest then sees that the doppelganger is going after a woman who we only see the back of.

Yep….It’s Time For The Alien To Switch Forms

So because of that, Forrest loses the psychic link to the alien, but not before finding out that the change happened at the Bright Angel Trail, which leads river near all those underground caves so they head there.

So we see the doppelganger lead two men into a cave and we also find out that her name is Eve.

Ah Kim Yates…

Um, her name in the credits says Kris Tyler, you sure you aren’t confusing her with someone else.

Not with that body and face I am not. That is most certainly Kim Yates. I guess she went under a Kris Tyler for this film, which I do not know why. But anyway…I have seen her in plenty of stuff like Striking Resemblance, 5 episodes of Erotic Confessions, 2 episodes of Beverly Hills Borello, an episode of the Pleasure Zone, 9 episodes of NightCap (where she was one of the three main characters on the show), The Model Solution, and Sexual Pleasures.

Okay…if you have seen her that much, then I guess you could recognize her. Anyway, you can kind of guess that she has sex with the two guys, although we do not see it.

The helicopter sets down at Flatstone, which is at the mouth of the cavern. Since Preston believes that it may be a trap, he suggests they let him and Forrest go this one alone. Parks agrees, but he says that they have to radio in everything they see.

We cut to the two agents in the caverns and finding the two guys passed out so they surmise that they are on the right path. Forrest is nervous and Preston tries to say that they are only fungus from another planet, which Forrest retorts that she saw all three versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Well, since this was 1998 and at the time, there were only three, I will forgive her for not mentioning the 2007 remake called The Invasion.

Although I Am Less Forgetful That That Film Even Exists And I Can Easily Say That It Is The Worst Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Film.

Preston says think about something else like what if an earthquake were to occur right now. Well, there isn’t much thought to that, you would be dead and your body would probably take days to find if at all, meaning that your body would rot in these caves. So yeah, already thought out….got anything else you want Forrest to think about other than Invasion of the Body Snatchers and how this film could closely relate to that situation.

Surprisingly, they find plants.

Preston goes through the plants and Forrest follows, finding out the plants barely block a secret part of the cavern that is filled with plants and a secret pond.

The two agents smell the aroma and they know that they are in the spot where the two aliens will meet. Of course they immediately run into Adam, who is not too happy to see them.

Adam controls the plants to grab and bind the two agents to the wall.

Eve comes in completely nude and of course I can’t show you much. Adam reveals that while yes, he did kill the original Adam, it was only because the original tried to kill him and it was in self-defense. He says that the two of them will be joining together and will leave this planet together. Adam finally says that they are just here to witness their departure so they can tell their heads that they no longer have to worry about them being on this planet. All of this revelation spoken very stiltedly, which I guess was the point, but still very badly delivered. Of course, the agents ask why they should believe him, which Adam responds that they should believe him because he hasn’t killed the agents yet, which he so would if he wanted to. When asked about the sex virus, Adam says that when he and Eve depart, the sex virus will leave with them and they only hope that one day they will find their true home again.

So Adam and Eve (yeah, you know exactly what they did there with their names) start to have dirty, slimy sex

Also as a present from Eve, she commands the plants to pleasure Agent Forrest.

Yep, Forrest is sort of getting tree raped.

Are We Sure The Necronomicon From Evil Dead Isn’t Down There As Well?

And after all the sex, they disappear into a blinding light.

And the fungus flies into space.

The two agents are released and Agent Forrest is disappointed that the tree molestation has stopped. Agent Forrest then asks how they are going to explain this one and Agent Preston says they aren’t. He says if Col. Parks and everyone else may have questions, they can just read the file. Forrest agrees with that idea and then she says let’s get out of here. Agent Preston then says that the fastest way back is with the chopper and Agent Forrest says she knows with a smile, confirming that she will be staying on as an agent for this division that deals with sexual phenomena. After a few minutes in space, we get the file called The Eden Project, which is placed back into the files, and that is locked into a vault that says Sex Files.

And thus the film ends

Well, this film was liked enough that a sequel was made of this film and in that sequel, several of the cast from the first one returned, some in the same roles and some in other roles. Kira Reed (who played Agent Forrest) divorced her then-husband Daniel Anderson and later on married awards show producer Robert Lorsch. William Knight (who played Col. Parks) does a lot of voice acting these days and if he seems to be in every anime that is well known. Blake Pickett (who played Kelly) now works as a photographer in Venice, Italy. Lauren Hays (who played Nancy) did more porn, was married to porn producer Gary Dean Orona until 2006 when they divorced, and then married to Last Chance Highway star/producer Lucas Hoge (which she also co-produces). Rolfe Kanefsky (who wrote and directed this film) still dabbles in a little softcore porn here or there (namely the Emmanuelle Through Times series), but has seem to rather do low budget schlock films instead and would rather write than direct.

My thoughts are of this film is it is actually okay. The acting at times is good and at times it is bad, but I did like the effects. Also, for those of you who were upset that there wasn’t much porn in The Killer Eye other than a monster molesting women, well….this should be more your cup of tea. And unlike the first two films I did for the Summer of Porno Pete, this is not boring and it knew when it could get away with a sex scene and make it not just be completely pointless.

So that was that film and now Pete, you only have one more film that I will review so you better make it count.

Oh I do plan to make it count because I am going to an Italian director for my final film and that director is one Jesus Franco, or Jess Franco as most of you know him. Yes, he has also dabbled into the porn genre, but this is the 90s Jess Franco so you probably won’t be getting much exploitation gore and that film is…