Saturday, January 3, 2015

2014 GINO Award Poll

Well, 2014 has come to a close and now we must decide which film will be the first film from 2014 I induct into Monster Crap and wins the ever so infamous GINO Award. So here are the 20 nominees for you to vote on.

A Haunted House 2
Normally I Don’t Do Sequels Before Inducting The Original (Which Is Also Bad), But For This Travesty Of My Time, I Am Making A Special Exception
Because When New Line Cinema Wanted To Make A Spin-off/Prequel To The Conjuring With The Creepy Doll, They Trusted The Director Of Mortal Kombat: Annihalation

 Axel: The Biggest Little Hero
A Crappy Film That You Wouldn’t Even Know Tim Curry & Matthew Lillard Were In Unless The Film Promoted They Were In It

 Devil’s Due
A Film That Makes You Feel Like Aborting This Found Footage BS From Existence

 Dwegons and Leprechauns
The Leprechauns Are Only In This Film For Less Than Five Minutes And Are In A Flashback Scene To The Dwegons Origin You Seriously Wish You Never Knew

Earth To Echo
Some Strange Person Decided That Putting A Children’s Story Like The One In E.T. In A Found Footage Film.
 Heavenly Sword
If You Are A Fan Of The Video Game This Is Based On, They Took A Crap On You. If You Are Not, This Was A Complete Waste Of Time

I, Frankenstein
From The Producers Of The Underworld Series Comes A Film That Tells You That Frankenstein’s Monster Is Sexy
Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return
Let’s Go Back To Oz With Dorothy (And Her New Friends Because The Old Ones Got Captured) And Here BS Excuses For Crap Happening And Completely Horrible & Annoying Songs As Well As Bad Voice Acting From Our Lead
 Leprechaun: Origins
The People At WWE Studios Decided To Replace Warrick Davies With Hornswoggle Although You Probably Wouldn’t Notice As This Leprechaun Doesn’t Talk & He Looks More Like A Demonic Mandrill
Joining Battleship In Terrible Movies Based On Board Games Is This Film Based On A Game That Was Already In A Good Film Called The Exorcist

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
This Spinoff To The Main Series Was So Bad And Did So Bad Financially That It Basically Killed The Entire Paranormal Activity Series

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda
You Would Adding Another Hybrid Monster To The Fun Sharktopus Film, But Then You Realize That Eric Roberts Is Not In This Film And No Celebrity Is In Here Who Seems To Be Having A Good Time

The Coed & The Zombie Stoner
You Knew The Asylum Had To Have One Of Their Films On This List. I Just Never Guessed Until I Saw It That It Would Be The One Not Based On Another Film With The Most Annoying Acting Of The Year
 The Legend of Hercules
A Film That Was So Boring And So Completely Devoid Of The Greek Mythology, It Caused X-Men 3’s Brett Rattner To Direct A Better Hercules Film This Year Than The Guy Who Directed Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger, & Nightmare On Elm Street 4

 The Nut Job
I Say Nuts To This Film That Is Supposed To Be Based In Older Times, But Has People Dance To Freaking Gangnam Style.

The Pyramid
Let’s Go Into A Pyramid Without Any Support & Some Of The Most Idiotic Archeologists The World Will Ever See In A Film That Takes A Dump Of Egyptian Mythology And Somehow This Footage Was Found

The Quiet Ones
Hammer Films Has Taken A Huge Fall From Grace With This Film That Makes Possession Into Complete Freaking Boredom

Vampire Academy
A Film Based On A Book Series That Tries To Ape The Success Of Twilight & Hunger Games, But Fails At Either Because Of Slut Shaming, Terrible Dialogue, And An Overall Experience  Even Fans Of The Books Can’t Stand

Winter’s Tale
The Trailers Hyped This Film With Some Of The Most Insane BS I  Have Ever Seen As From The Academy Award Winning Writer Akiba Goldsmith And Fails To Mention He Also Wrote Batman & Robin.

Poll ends on January 10, 2015 at 12:00 AM

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