9, 10...Gonna Sleep Again
So congratulations Kellan Lutz because this will be the second movie you are in that will be crapped on by Monster Crap after New Moon.
I just want you to know that it will have to be next year because I have something planned for this year and if you remember last December, we already discussed this.
Freddy then cuts Dean’s throat, which looks in reality like Dean is slicing his own throat, and Dean dies.
Thank you, Godzilla because that is my feeling exactly. This movie has Clancy Brown in it and for some unknown reason, does not know Clancy Brown. I mean, this is from the same studio that had R. Lee Ermy in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake and it’s prequel, and actually used R. Lee Ermy. I would like to ask the men who made this film very kindly……….WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!!!
She gets jumped by Freddy and he pins her to the ground saying, “Remember Me?” Kris screams and it turns out that this was all just a nightmare.
Now look at that guy and your first thought isn’t “Oh dear god….I am looking at a monster”, but instead it is “Oh man, that man so deserves my pity.” But even worse, Freddy in this film doesn’t look like a burned man, but more like a burned alien.
Yeah, the original looks a lot more terrifying than this guy.
Freddy comes in and says that he was only just petting the dog. Kris goes back into the house, but the door ends up leading her to a pre-school. At this pre-school, she runs into a little girl (who is her as a child) and the little Kris tells the big Kris to hide. Then, we hear Freddy Krueger counting, signaling that this is hide-and-seek. Oh and while this is going on, we hear the 1-2-3 song that Freddy is coming for you. You know with this film, I wouldn’t be too worried about Freddy coming for me as he seems to be busy doing other things until someone tells him it is time for him to kill.
Another attempt to have a call up from the original, but it fails because Freddy in the original slowly drags Tina up the wall and onto the ceiling. With all of that, you can see just how hopeless the boyfriend’s position is to stop any of this. And with her getting slashed up on the ceiling, plenty of blood gets on the boyfriend and since this was a sleepover, the friends see the blood on the boyfriend and call the cops who arrest him for her murder. Let’s see how the remake fucks the rest of that up.
Jesse is dead in the real world, bleeding on the floor of the cell while his cellmate his horrified and yells at the guard for help while also yelling he didn’t do it. Back in the dream world, Freddy has hung up Jesse and tells him this bit of info.
He lived in the basement of the pre-school and apparently, the kids were his life. But apparently, the kids were coming homes with marks on them that suggested that Freddy might have been a child molester who took them to his secret room in the basement to do unspeakable things. She reveals that when she and the other parents found out, it was too late and Freddy had left town.
Of course that is Chewie, the stereotypical Asian stoner from the Friday The 13th remake for any of you all curious.
Freddy locks himself in the building screaming at the parents on the outside that he didn’t do anything. Outside, Quentin’s dad grabs some gasoline and makes a Molotov cocktail while Nancy’s mom is trying to persuade him to let the cops handle this. Quentin’s dad, with another dad, is insistent that the children shouldn’t have to live through this experience again by recalling the incidents on a witness stand. They throw the gasoline can/Molotov cocktail into the building through a window.
The intentions were to get Freddy to come out so they can beat him to death, but Krueger stays inside, burning to death as the building explodes.
Quentin is then woken up by the swim coach, who gets the water out of him because he almost drowned during all of that.
Quentin then goes to Nancy, who had just seen the kid dying on web cam and tells her what he saw in his nightmare. They then go to Quentin’s dad and tell him that they killed an innocent man on the beliefs of five-year old children. Okay, this would be interesting, if we didn’t see Freddy going all pedophiliac in their nightmares, which means we probably know Freddy probably did what he was accused of. So all this does (and probably why they sadly wasted Clancy Brown on this film) was to make a red herring.
That doesn’t work and the second time she dreams, she ends up in a boiler room for no reason. Oh and so nice of them to have All I Have To Do Is Dream by the Everly Brothers on the speakers to know we are in a dream.
Now think about this, if you are trying to stay awake, where would you go? Well you wouldn’t go where these two go, which is the freaking hospital and surprise of all surprises, guess what the hospital wants to do?
Unfortunately, Quentin falls asleep too and he is in a nightmare as well. Freddy decides to beat him up first before he decides to go into Nancy’s dream. He even says this line to Quentin.
She then gets tied up on the bed as Freddy comes in and says this line while feeling her up.
There they fight Freddy in the real world and through most of the fight, Freddy is kicking their asses. But Freddy eventually gets his hand with the knives glove cut off. Nancy then says this.
The two burn the place down and then leave as the firefighters try to put out the fire, saying that they haven’t found a body anywhere. Quentin is sent to the hospital and Nancy goes home with her mom and overall, this would be a fine ending, which is much better than the original.
It was considered a terrible way to end the film and has been criticized by fans, critics, cast, and Wes Craven himself. It was sadly a compromise between producer Robert Shaye and Wes Craven because Wes Craven didn’t want Freddy to return and Robert wanted to do sequels. It was an ending where a remake would have to right this wrong.
And that is how this shitty remake ends and this was where I rightfully stomped out of the damn theater, pissed as fuck that I wasted my time with this film. No, I didn’t waste my money really because I bought a ticket to see Kick-Ass and snuck in to see this movie. Looking back (especially after watching Kick-Ass, which was good), I regret seeing this film instead.
Well, let's see what we have to induct next.
Actually, we have a tie.
A tie? I guess we got to do a good old coin flip to see what the next induction is.
Because while you inducting my gauntlet of horrible films during the summer, I fixed the Randomizer to do what I want it to do.
Yes, that indeed. So which of the two tied movie did the Randomizer choose?