Saturday, June 20, 2015

Monster Crap July 2015 Induction Poll

Well, the induction of Child's Play 3 is almost complete and as I get ready to change computers (this old one is breaking), I figure I should get this poll done. Once again, there were some requests, but most of them are stuff I have right now. So let's see what gets that July spot.

Congo (1995)
A Film Based On A Michael Crichton Book (Like Jurassic Park) Gets Hampered By Extremely Fake Monkeys And A Rare Situation Where Tim Curry Was Not The Best Actor In This Film. Oh And Bruce Campbell Gets Killed Off Like A Bitch.

The Grudge 2 (2006)
At A Time When American Remakes To Japanese Films (Though Normally Not As Good As The Japanese Ones) Were Still Getting Sequels In Theaters, The Grudge 2 Turned Out To Put The Kibosh On That As Every American Remake Of A Japanese Property Afterwards Bombed Hard. But Hey, It Still Beat Out The Departed For The Box Office

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
21 Years After The Original Lost Boys Film That Was Awesome, Warner Brothers Decided To Make A Direct To DVD Sequel That They Would Pack All Over Wallmart. Unfortunately For Them, This Film Sucked With Extra Crap Going To The Villain Being Played By Angus Sutherland, Proving That Just Because You Get Keifer's Brother To Be The Villain This Time, Doesn't Mean He Will Have His Brother's Talent.

Final Days Of Planet Earth (2006)
What Aired As A TV Minseries (Because Dear God....It's 170 Minutes Long) Should Make You Think That If It Was The End Of The Earth, I Would Feel Just Fine If I Didn't Have To Sit Through This Borefest Ever Again. Daryl Hannah Is Definitely Slumming It As The Alien Queen, Thinking That Just Two Years Prior She Was In The Kill Bill Films And Is Now Relegated To This.

Pulse (2006)
Oh Goodie....Another Remake Of A Japanese Film. This Time, We Have Veronica Mars Fighting Against Ghosts That Come Out Of Your Internet And Can Only Be Defeated By Red Tape Or You Live In A Land With No Internet Connection. Oh And These Ghosts Kill You By Taking Away Your Will To Live Anymore, So Basically They Are Like The Plants In The Happening. You Know, In Japan....They Can Make Something This Stupid Be Scary, But In America, Not So Much.

Son of Godzilla (1967)
In The Late 1960s, Toho Studios In Japan Decided For Some Reason That We Should Turn The Terrifying Monster That Became A Good Guy In Godzilla, Into A Father. Yes, This Is The Film That Introduced The World To The Awfulness Of Minya Or Minilla. Also In Here Is Half The Footage They Would Use As Stock Footage For The Extremely Bad Godzilla's Revenge.

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)
Hey, We Have The Producer Of Prom Night Doing Another Horror Movie At Prom? Let's Make It Into A Prom Night Sequel...Despite The Fact This Has Nothing To Do With The Original Film That Was A Slasher Movie With A Mortal Killer, Unlike This Film Where The Slasher Is A Ghost Of A Woman Who Was A Complete Bitch & Somehow Her Ghost Only Appeared After Someone Opened The Trunk That For Some Reason Was The Prison For The Ghost.

Screamers: The Hunting (2009)
14 Years After The Cult Classic That Was Screamers, We Were Treated To This Direct To DVD Sequel. And Instead, Let's Have Peter Weller's Character From The Original Die In Between Movies And Have Her Daughter Be On A Team To Fight Off The Aliens In It. Oh And Let's Have Lance Henrickson As Well As A Very Pre-Arrow Stephen Amell In It As Well.

Battleship (2012)
In 2012, We Got A Movie Based On The Classic Board Game Battleship. But Instead Of Two Battleships Duking It Out Like In The Actual Game, The Filmmakers Instead Decided To Have The Navy Fight Aliens And Basically Rip Off Michael Bay's Transformers Series So They Might Be Able To Make Some Cash. Fortunately For Us And Not For Them, This Plan Completely Backfired And Battleship Was Considered In North America One Of The Biggest Box Office Failures Of 2012

Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2008)
We Round Of This List Of Inductees With This Hilariously Bad Film By James Nguyen. This Film Is Really Terrible At Basically Everything Like Acting, Sound, Dialogue, Plot, Camera Angles, and of course Effects. This Movie Has Been Riffed By So Many People And Has Been Made Fun Of By So Many People That Somehow, This Film Was Able To Get A Sequel That Was Just As Bad.

Voting ends on June 27, at 12 AM

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