Monster Crap Inductee: Son of Godzilla
Where The Minya Headache All Began
Ever since I roasted the crap that was Godzilla’s Revenge as my fourth ever induction and yes, that is still the worst Godzilla film ever made, I knew the eventual induction of Son of Godzilla was coming. However, I never figured it would take this long to do. But in the poll to decide what film I will induct before Porno Pete hijacks the selections and I have to watch some porn again, the one won by a large amount. And now I have to go back to where it all began with the little shit known as Minya.
This Little Monster Has Made Me Convinced That King Kong Did Something Illegal And Wrong To Godzilla Under The Water In King Kong Vs. Godzilla
Damn You, Horny Ape
So why the hate for Minya? Well, if you are a Godzilla fan, you should be smacked upside the head for asking the question. But if you are not, I’ll explain it like this. As a monster, Minya is more of a headache for Godzilla than he is ever a threat. Now they had a good idea with Godzilla having a son, which was to combat the children-like marketability that Gamera got in.
Yes, Because Of The Friend To All Children, Minya Exists. Another Thing I Can Pile On That Piece Of Turtle Meat For.
Also, King Kong had a son in Son of Kong and honestly, that film wasn’t that bad. However, Son of Kong only had the Son of Kong in that film to work off of (as King Kong at the time was still well….)
Yeah…He Was Rather Dead
But in Son of Godzilla and any other appearance, Minya never really did anything and considering he was always shadowed by Godzilla, you could really see how useless he is. He was just there for kids and women to go “Aw” as if he was a puppy. He always needed Godzilla’s help in a fight and could never do anything on his own. Son of Kong (while not as big as King Kong) could handle his own shit. And every other monster in the Toho universe could handle itself in a fight or be a threat. In fact, if you compare the film I am about to review to Godzilla’s Revenge, I don’t even know if the filmmakers knew what to do with Minya. Basically, Minya was just there and in every appearance after this film, he was just there and you could basically write him out with no problem.
So yeah, 112 inductions later after having to scour through the laziest of Godzilla films, we will talk about Minya’s birth.
We begin with a storm and a plane flying under it. The people in the plane learn that the radio is out, as hard as that is to believe for them.
Also To The Pilot, I Haven’t Forgotten You Were One Of The Two Bank Robbers In Godzilla’s Revenge (And In Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster As Well) So The Fact This Plane Ain’t Crashing Is Rather Sad To Me. Also Two Of The Other Three On That Plane Were Also In That Film (While The Other Was Also In Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster) So I Am Extra Sad.
It is caused by a lot of abnormal interference that is like a brain wave and the pilot believes that wouldn’t interfere with the radio. Well, it depends on whose brain it is and….I think you all know what is causing the interference.
Actually, no…….Godzilla wasn’t causing the interference as it is coming from the southwest and that is the direction Godzilla is heading. The nearest thing they know is down there is Sollgel Island and they are wondering if something is calling Godzilla on that island. And the opening title card shows up.
We go directly to that island and see that a crew of scientists are on that island. Two of them are at Tower #2 to check to see if the tower is still working. It is, but one of the two (named Furukawa) is complaining about the heat.
Get Used To Him Complaining As He Does That A Lot
The other one of course is checking the tower and his name is Morio.
Hi, It’s-A-Me, Morio (Sorry, I Couldn’t Resist)
He tries to give a report, but the other guy on the line chastises him for not doing the report properly. Morio gets off the line and basically says he doesn’t like the professor too much. Yeah, well I didn’t like Godzilla’s Revenge (as Ichiro’s father Tack) that much and you were in that film so that counts me and you even. Although you were the main star in Rodan so…….yeah, forgiven.
They hear a noise and Furukawa gets his gun to the ready in case whatever is making it comes at them (they know what it is…but if this is your first time seeing the film, you don’t and they really don’t give it a name till later even then). It didn’t see them so they don’t have to fire while Furukawa complains how this isn’t a place for human beings.
We see several places in the main lab like the generator
Or Generating Station….I’m Just Gonna Call It The Generator To Save Time
And the Sonde-Equipping Room.
To Be Fair, Sonde Is A Real Thing. It Is a Device To Testing Physical Features Like High Altitude, Below The Earth’s Surface, Or Inside The Body. Basically, This Room Tests The Features Of The Island To Make Sure They Are Normal (For The Island) And Optimal For The Work These Guys Are Doing.
Although You Can Make It One Word In Reality Or It Sounds Like A Place Where You Keep All Your Heads Which Probably Would Be Fine For The Queen Of Hearts.
She Must Have A Reason For Wanting People’s Heads Off
Here, we meet the three other guys.
Some Nameless Guy, Fujisaki, and hovering over them is Prof. (or Dr.) Kasumi
There are three nameless guys in the English dub and they really don’t affect the plot too much and I can only really mention that one of them was also in Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster.
And Fujisaki was Dr. Serizawa in the original Godzilla film so thanks for killing Godzilla in that one with your Oxygen Destroyer (and unknowingly causing the creation of Destroyah decades later). He sadly was also in Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster.
The nameless guy complains that he feels like he is in a concentration camp with all this work. You might want to be careful as someone might find that offensive. The strange interference is back (yeah, they have seen it before as well) and it disappears almost immediately. They wonder what caused it as suddenly, a plane flies overhead. They think it might be a plane from the UN (as the UN is supposed to be the only ones who know they are on Sollgel Island). But instead it is this bullheaded reporter and his stuff.
He introduces himself as Goro Maki (or Maki Goro in the English dub). And yes if that voice is familiar in the English dub, that is Peter Fernandez doing the voice, who also did the dub in such past Monster Crap inductees like Evil Brain From Outer Space, Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster, and the first Gamera film. He is most famous as the voice of the English dub of Speed Racer as Speed himself.
Anyway, Goro reveals himself as a newsman and photographer who got some insight that there was something going on down here. They try to say that is confidential and he needs to get his ass out of here, but he disagrees.
Hey Goro, While You Are Sitting There, Pouting Like A Child…Do You Mind Taking That Life Vest Off. You Don’t Need It Anymore.
They eventually let him stay after the whole day of not leaving, but make sure he has to do stuff like laundry for everyone. Oh and Goru has a stomach thing that says it starts to growl every time he gets a good lead. Even they tell him to take the damn life jacket off since he has it on the whole time. They also hear the noise that we heard earlier, but this time we see what it is.
It’s A Giant Praying Mantis
They seriously have to shoot the damn thing away and yes, Goru already has his incredible story. Goro tries to go in after it, but he is told that he cannot go into the jungle at night. The next day, Goro wonders if they found the bug and they tell him that all he should worry about right now cooking. He asks Furukawa, who just brushes him off as nameless guy reveals they have been on this island for three months and it is rather spooky. Goro says no one is using the bath so he is making some lettuce and reveals that they use the tub to wash their clothes with Morio using it earlier on his underwear.
You Won’t Be Using That Lettuce Now
Morio shows up and after a joke about stew tonight, Morio reveals there is spinach in the jungle and Goro goes to get some. While getting some (what, you thought that was a way to get rid of him? No….), he sees a woman swimming in the water.
A Woman On This Island? What Madness Is This?
Goro cannot believe this and stares at her, but he makes some noise and she disappears after seeing him. On sunset, the crew is eating dinner and talks about how conditions are favorable for the experiment to happen tomorrow. Goro asks about the idea of freezing the idea and Dr. Kasumi says ultimately it is to control the weather so vegetation can happen for places that are barren like the Sahara Desert or the Siberian Tundra so we can easily deal with the overpopulation problem and the food shortages that will come from it. It is secret because weather controlling can be used for evil purposes.
I Mean, We Might Get A Real Weather Wizard And No One Wants That.
Oh and yes, when Goro asks about the girl, no one believes him in that one exists on the island. Kasumi then says that tomorrow will be E-Day and they start at 10 am.
The next day, the experiment begins and while the experiment happens, the reporter goes out to warn the girl who he never finds. The scientists release a freezing unit in hopes to freeze the island and it is in a trusty balloon with a small bomb.
They are about to explode the freezing unit at the right altitude and the first one works. An updraft has started which makes it look good so they activate the towers to eject solar iodine.
Well That Or They May Be Using Gyaos’ Piss Powder.
This causes the temperature to get lower so they cut off cooling system and prepare for heat generation. They then have to release the radioactive capsule.
Radioactive Capsule Into The Sky? That Can End Horribly
The radio interference happens again and if they can’t detonate the capsule, they will get reverse reaction in a radioactive storm with extremely intense heat.
And Here, People Like Me Didn’t Think The Events Of Atomic Twister Couldn’t Happen. Well, They Still Can’t Happen.
The balloon goes off above the wanted atmosphere level and explodes causing radioactive rain.
They Never Believed Me This Day Would Come, But It Has……And I Am Super Prepared
The storm rages and at some point, Goro came back. After the rain is done (four days later), everyone comes out. They also all laugh about the air conditioners keeping them from roasting to death. Kasumi comes out with new work orders, which is to inspect the area for effects. Goro heads with the professor and starts taking pictures of him on the walk. Goro tries to still explain that a girl was here and Kasumi still doesn’t believe him…
And He Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts Either………Because That Needed To Be Said.
Aww…..You Made Casper Sad
Oh and the radioactive rain has caused those big praying mantises to get even bigger.
Goro and Kasumi eventually have to escape the creatures and get to Tower #2 to contact HQ in effort to get the others to save their sorry asses. The radio is broken so that is a bad idea, but the creatures stop chasing them as they are interested in something else.
They break the hill down and an egg is inside.
In a meeting, Kasumi reveals that it will take 10 days to repair all the equipment and……Furukawa blurts out that he quits as he can’t take any more of this. Sadly only he and another scientist want off and everyone else want to continue so Furukawa is stuck here, I guess. Fujisaki reveals that even if they wanted to, they can’t leave as the radio was knocked out by the heat. Fujisaki reveals after the meeting was over that the radios are fine, he was just lying to keep everyone around. They hear noise and go to inspect.
They are all shocked that a girl is on the island and since this is a kid’s film as well as a 60s one, none of the men try to be evil and rape her throughout the film so we won’t have to deal with that nonsense. I know I don’t need to say that, but too many times nowadays I see that happening with people on an uninhabited island. She gets away after Goro stops Furukawa from shooting her.
The next day, the giant mantises are still trying to break the egg.
Giant Mantis #2: Shut Up!!!! Don’t You Want Something To Eat??!!
Giant Mantis #3: Yeah, With Our Growth……We Need Something Bigger To Satisfy Our Hunger Than What We Used To Eat.
Oh and then the creatures are named Gimantis (Kamacuras in the Japanese version). Goro and Morio go to see Gimantises still breaking the egg.
Gimantis #2: And I’m Fine With Gimantis
Gimantis #3: I Think A Better Name For Us Is Giant Praying Mantis
*The Other Two Look At Him*
Gimantis #3: What???!!!
Gimantis #1: That Name Is Too Long!!
Gimantis #2: Yeah And You Have No Originality
The woman watches on from another hiding space.
The Gimantises finally break the egg and out comes…
Yeah it is Minya (Minilla in Japan). The three Gimantises probably see what the future holds for us or they are very hungry as they use their arms to try and kill the creature.
Furukawa goes crazy and starts shooting up the place, still wanting off the island. He tries to swim off the island with Fujisaki in pursuit and they don’t even get to the swimming as Godzilla shows up.
Everybody runs away.
Yeah…Godzilla Obviously Has Seen Better Days. Or He Knows What Is Going To Happen In The Future With Minya So He’s Not In The Best Of Spirits
Godzilla fucks up the labs so the experiment may be a wash and the radios are definitely dead. Godzilla hears Minya’s cries so he is off to save his son.
He arrives and immediately goes after the Gimantises. One of the attacks and gets takes a bodyslam from the King of The Monsters.
Bah Gawd….He May Have Broken Him In Half
Goro and Morio decide to leave because they don’t want to be collateral damage to this fight. Minya goes up to Godzilla and is happy to see his parent.
Godzilla: Oh God…This Is My Life Now
Okay……I got to stop here because in this film they refer to Godzilla as his dad and yet there is no mom.
Shut Up, Topolous!!!
Shut up, regardless!!! I don’t need your dumb ass in this induction!!! A second Gimantis comes at Godzilla and Godzilla moves and kills it with its atomic breath.
The flaming arm almost hits Goro and Morio as they run away. The first Gimants is back up as he and the third decide to fling a rock at Godzilla, but it hits Minya instead. They attack and Godzilla slams the first one again and kills it with its breath.
The third one decides to just run away.
Godzilla turns around and his tail accidentally hits Minya.
Godzilla walks off, but Minya can’t walk yet so Godzilla accidentally leaves his kid behind.
The woman is still around and she decides to help the little shit by singing a song and giving him some fruit.
Godzilla comes back and the woman runs off. Godzilla looks at his pathetic son and lets Minya ride on his tail.
The woman goes into a cave and finds Goro on the ground there.
He wakes up and sees shirt, which he goes to get back. The woman calls him a thief because she thinks he is stealing, but he tells her it is his shirt. Oh and he realizes she can talk. She finally reveals that her name is Reiko. Goro reveals that he is a member of the experimental team on the island. Reiko once again says she is no robber and hands Goro back his shirt. Goro laughs and says she can keep it, which she is very happy about. When Goro asks what she is doing on an island all alone, she reveals a book which is from her father. See, her father was a famous archeologist who was on the island doing research on it after he found it during World War 2. He also brought along his daughter since her mother is dead, I believe. It was seven years ago that the old man died and Reiko has been alone on the island ever since.
Goro brings Reiko to meet the rest of the men and they are very polite while wondering how she survived on the island during the storm. She reveals that she has a cave she stayed in and they basically use that for shelter now since with the one Gimantis still alive out and about (as well as Godzilla and Minya), they need a place to hide the equipment and themselves.
We then go to Minya, who is kicking a rock and has grown a bit since last time we saw him.
But then Minya slips on the same rock.
Yeah, You Can Basically Give Minya The Voice Of The Village Idiot And You Would Be Fine. In Fact, I Think They Did That In Godzilla’s Revenge
Minya continues to kick the rock around as we see that Godzilla is sleeping. Minya then decides to play with Godzilla’s tail.
Godzilla looks at what his idiot son is doing before going back to sleep as Minya continues to play with Godzilla’s tail before he falls on his ass because of that as well. Godzilla then opens his eyes again for a brief moment before closing them again.
Lord…What Did I Do To Deserve A Pathetic Son Like This…Besides Destroy Some Cities, But I Am Making Up For That By Fighting Even Worse Monsters.
Minya decides he is gonna go exploring. Reiko and Goro are playing as it seems they are in love. Goro also plans on taking Reiko back with him to Tokyo and she is very happy about this. Minya shows up and Goro is scared, but Reiko calms him down and explains that Minya isn’t a threat at all. She continues to show this by feeding Reiko some fruit again.
Not Since JJ Reddick Helped Cave Springs Beat My Brooke Point Blackhawks In A Playoff Game Have I Seem Majesty With A Shot Like That
Godzilla shows up so Goro gets Reiko to leave with him. Godzilla tries to get his son to come back with him, but Minya is being a spoiled brat.
Godzilla grabs his son’s tail and drags him back.
As Kasumi is reading Reiko’s father’s journal, he wonders what a Spiga is to Fujisaki, who is just as dumbfounded by it too. Morio arrives sick as a dog and it is spreading as everyone but Kasumi, Fujisaki, Reiko, and Goro have it as well. It is bad as they are all out of medicine and it is some kind of tropical disease. Reiko says that to make them better, there is warm red water nearby.
Note To Everyone: If You See What Looks Like Red Water, Get The Hell Away From It. It Is A Terrible Algae Problem And Will Seriously Fuck You Up Really Bad Or At Worst, Kill You.
But in this film, the warm red water is fine and not the red tide so we can relax. Anyway, they try to go get the red water, but Reiko warns them that they can’t as they would have to pass by the lair of the Spiga. When asked what the Spiga (or Kumonga in Japan) is, it is of course explained that it is a giant spider. Goro jokes that this is a Monster Island……*sigh* future films will prove him correct. Reiko reveals that the Spiga is sleeping so if they don’t wake it up, they won’t have any problems. Reiko decides to go on her own, but Goro insists that he come with her. But before he leaves with her, Kasumi explains that based on Reiko’s father’s notes, the web of the Spiga can only be cut with heat so he wants him to have a heat source with him just in case. Also Goro must take a rifle with him.
They pass by the lair of the Spiga and Goro almost wakes it up by accidentally knocking two boulders down in the hole. Thankfully, the Spiga stays asleep. Elsewhere Godzilla tries to teach his son about how to do the fire breath as Goro and Reiko sneak by to get some red water.
Minya is first scared by this.
The little shit tries to have his father protect him, but his father tells Minya he can do it too and forces the kid to try himself.
Minya is happy he is able to do it too and Godzilla goes back to sleep.
Minya then tries to breathe fire again and does so.
Minya is happy as he finally goes to sleep with his dad. Goro and Reiko get the red water back to the cave and are able to cure everyone rather quickly. Kasumi also feels the need to give up the experiment the way things are so he wants Fujisaki to fix the radio quickly. Reiko goes out to get some medicine the next day, but she accidentally awakens the Gimantis, which was sleeping. It chases her and Reiko calls Minya for help. Minya arrives and breathes the smoke loop again.
Gimantis by giving Minya a judo chop.
Luckily Minya’s arm doesn’t fall off, but unluckily the two’s fighting wakes the Spiga up.
Minya seems to get his ass kicked through most of the fight as Goro comes and saves Reiko. Godzilla comes in to make the save for his dumbass son and chases Gimantis off. Goro and Reiko realize the Spiga is awake and it chases them. We also get to see the Spiga on full display.
It starts spitting out its web and Goro has to use a lighter to free Reiko from it. The two then decide to hide between some rocks as the Spiga keeps spray.
It traps them there with the webbing and moves on while they escape using the lighter.
They also get to higher ground.
They find Kasumi at Tower #2 trying to fix the telephone cord and Goro realizes he truly hasn’t given up on the experiment yet. Kasumi tells Goro that he is like him as he would have to do something as he isn’t someone to do nothing at all. The Spiga comes there way and they hide as the creature passes by. As everyone is back in the cave, the Spiga makes an appearance outside their cave and has spun a web to keep them all inside.
The Spiga almost gets Furukawa, but he is saved. Fujisaki is able to fix the radio, but they need an antenna outside and with the Spiga outside the entrance, they are basically stuck inside…except for the underwater cave that Reiko now tells them about, which explains earlier how Reiko was able to disappear in the first time he met her.
Goro and Reiko go out to set up the antenna as the rest try to get the signal ready. This is done easily and suddenly Minya shows up looking for fruit.
The Spiga easily finds Minya after Goro and Reiko have set up the antenna and left. Minya tries to run, but the Spiga spits webbing at the child. As the fighting is causing problems in the cave, Kasumi decides that with the monsters around, they can’t get off the island so they need to start the experiment. Fujisaki has also made contact and because they hadn’t heard from them, they already dispatched a ship to come investigate. They all agree to do the experiment as well.
Outside, Minya tries with his fire breath, but like Godzilla against the Mothra caterpillars, there is too much web (or cocooning in that case) to stop all of it so Minya gets webbed up.
The scientists start getting the experiment ready as Goro and Reiko get the escape boat ready. The Spiga is about to kill the webbed up Minya when Gimantis shows up.
The Spiga starts webbing Gimantis as well, causing Gimantis to not be able to fly away this time. Meanwhile, the scientists release the freezing unit. They detonate the unit and that finally wakes up Godzilla.
The silver iodine is sprayed around as Godzilla goes to see what his son is up to this time. The Spiga goes over to the webbed up Gimantis and uses a stinger in its mouth to put poison in it and kill it.
The radioactive capsule is released. The Spiga is about to do kill Minya, but Godzilla arrives to throw a giant boulder at the Spiga.
The monsters start fighting and the energy interference happens again and the scientists worry they may once again accidentally create a radioactive storm, but the interference goes away. The Spiga tries to web Godzilla, but since this is one Spiga out in the open and Godzilla is easily bigger than Minya or Gimantis, this is a mere annoyance.
The Spiga tries to run away, but Godzilla and Minya aren’t letting this one go. The capsule is blown at the right time.
The temperature is dropping fast which proves the experiment works so now everyone heads to the beach as the monsters still fight. Spiga plays dead only to poke Godzilla in its eye.
Unlike before, the stinger doesn’t kill Godzilla and only just pisses him off as it starts snowing.
Everyone is on the boat as they watch and celebrate. The snow starts encompassing the battlefield as the monsters still go at it. The Spiga gets on top of Godzilla, but Minya uses his fire breath to save his father.
The Spiga tries his webbing again, but Godzilla is able to flame the webbing away and with no other attacks, the result is pretty academic now as both Godzilla and Minya do dueling fire breaths to win the day.
Um…I wasn’t. In fact, the Spiga is dead so you are really late to the ballgame on this joke.
Okay…moving on. As the Spiga is a burning corpse, Godzilla and Minya see that the island is freezing over. The monsters try to escape, but Minya is too tired so in a rather depressing scene, the monsters huddle together as the snow begins to cover them.
Reiko starts to feel sorry for the monsters, but we can’t have that so Goro comes in to say they are just going to hibernate.
The humans then wait for a ship and one comes.
Submarine So We Can Have A Few Seconds Of A Fake Out Moment Of The Cred Concerned That Another Monster Has Arrived.
They all are happy and laugh about how they were almost scared as we see what looks like Godzilla and Minya freezing to death.
You know, as a kid, you just took their word for it. But now as an adult and re-watching this, I gotta say that I don’t think they understand how hibernation works.
Goro then keeps explaining that they’ll probably live on that island and be alright.
And with the island freezing, the movie ends.
As always, these movies do well with people and this one still has a 63% on Rotten Tomatoes. As for the cast, many of them went on to do other Toho productions and eventually retired so let’s sadly get to those who are no longer with us. Osman Yusef (who was the submarine captain) died in 1982 at the age of 62. Akihiko Hirata (who played Fujisaki) died in 1984 at age of 56 from lung cancer. Jun Fukuda (the director, and also directed Godzilla vs. Megalon as well as Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster) passed away in 2000 at the age of 77 from cancer. Peter Fernandez (who did the dub of Goro, wrote, and directed the dub as well) died in 2010 at the age of 83 from lung cancer. Yeah, cancer is a real bitch in the Godzilla universe.
Nor for my final thoughts on this film and despite the annoyance of Minya at times, this film is actually alright. In fact, in this film…Minya actually evolves as a character and in one instance helps his father from the Spiga, something Toho would retcon later so Minya would be a fucking pointless burden. The only problem is the costumes and effects at times have really not aged well. Also, while Minya does evolve, you do see the stupidity in his character at times.
So good news now is for the summer, I don’t have to deal with NegaSeth.
Bad news is I have to deal with this freak for the summer because since he miraculously won the bet, he gets to pick the movies I get to induct this summer, which will end with the September induction. So what do you have first, Pete?
Well, you remember the first film you inducted in the last summer I did this.
Well, the DVD I gave you was a two film set so now I want you to review the other film on it.