Monster Crap Induction: Darkness Falls (2003)

Monster Crap Inductee: Darkness Falls

At Least This Has An Awesome Theme Song

2003

Normally, I would be inducting the 2024 GINO Award winner in this spot, but the winning movie is a Christmas movie so I decided to induct that movie in December. So instead I had to go rummaging through my library of crappy movies with monsters and this movie (that has been in my polls for a while as well) was the first movie I saw so that’s the one we’re doing.

The 2000s (or The Aughts as some people have called it) were a really REALLY bad time for horror because after the boom from Scream died down, movie makers had a really hard time deciding what direction they should go with the genre. Then a very stupid idea came to fruition and everyone just followed it. That idea: What if we make movies that should be R rated, make them seem like they should be R rated, and instead make them PG-13 so we can get that trusty teen market to make….

More Money

With that, the terrible ideas of remaking classics, and the idea of torture porn, horror was in a real dark period that somehow was even worse than the 90s. I don’t even think I can count how many 2000s movies I have inducted into Monster Crap so yeah, I think you all know how terrible this time was. Darkness Falls was made in 2003 so we aren’t even halfway through this terrible decade. So let’s get to the production of this film.

In 2001, comic book and screen writer Joe Harris wrote and directed a short called Tooth Fairy and Hollywood decided that this should be expanded into a full feature. Unfortunately as the film went along, the movie would be taken away from Joe Harris (who even wrote a comic book prequel for this) and would give it to a debuting director Jonathan Liebesman. It would also go through so much more butchering. Originally, the script and the movie was shot to make it seem like our lead character might have done this with the killer tooth fairy existence being vague, but that idea was killed. Also, the original script called for the Tooth Fairy to be more of an Angel of Death with a more winged and toothy look (which would have been played by Doug Jones), but the script was changed so it was the vengeful spirit of a ghost who was wrongfully killed. There are more cuts to this mess that will be mentioned in this film.

As for the cast, we have Chaney Kley (who was a bit character in Legally Blonde), Emma Caufield (who was Susan Keats in Beverly Hills 90210 and former demon Anya Jenkins in Buffy The Vampire Slayer), Grant Piro (who was host of an Australian game show called Couch Potato), and Emily Browning in a bit part (who was also known for a part a year before in Ghost Ship)

The Ghost Katie Harwood In Ghost Ship

The rest were filled with mostly unknowns in this cast because this movie really didn’t want anyone too famous in this as that would cost more money than they cared to give. Of course, there are a few people who are Monster Crap alumni in the past like Johnathan Liebesman himself, who directed the terrible sequel Wrath Of The Titans

And Gary Hecker, who did creature voices for the terrible 1998 Godzilla film and The Relic.

And with that, let’s get to this bad movie.

We begin with narration that says 150 years ago in the town of Darkness Falls, there was an old widower named Matilda Dixon.

And immediately, I have to mention that this was actually a change from what the trailer said as the trailer said Matilda Dixon was a young widower. And I would show you the picture from the trailer, but that is not on this DVD. Gee….I wonder why? I guess they didn’t want you to see the trailer that basically lies about a lot of the movie. Too bad YouTube exists and has the trailer that I can show you.

Anyway, Matilda Dixon was adored by all the children because she would give them a gold coin if she gave them a baby tooth that fell off of them. The locals would call her the tooth fairy because of this. Unfortunately, fire tore through her home and she was massively scarred in her facial area and it was so sensitive to light that she needed wore a mask. And I think you all know the old stupid belief that if you are hideously ugly, you must be a witch.

One day, two children didn’t come home so of course, the stupid townsfolk believed that Matilda Dixon kidnapped and probably ate the kids or something. They then hanged Matilda (also tearing off her mask so that the light burned her as she was hanged) and it was afterwards that the two kids came back just fine. The townsfolk then decided that we made a mistake that should never be made public so they hushed up the whole matter and probably buried Matilda in an unmarked grave to get rid of the evidence. But upon Matilda’s dying breath, she laid a curse upon the town. Since then, there are those who believe that Matilda visits the children of Darkness Falls to take there last baby tooth and if they look at her, she will take and kill them, fulfilling the curse of “what I take before out of kindness, I take forever in revenge.”

And This Is Where We Get The Title Card

We then go to a kid named Kyle who loses his last baby tooth.

That night, he is tucked in by his mother and his mother asks if he is going to ask anyone to the dance tomorrow.

His mother closes the door and the kid goes to the window because he hears a noise….and we get a jump scare of a girl named Caitlin coming in through the window.

They make small talk and Kyle asks her out to the dance as he obviously likes her a lot. Caitlin obviously likes him a lot too and she accepts his proposal and kisses him.

Aww….What A Cute Moment. What Could Possibly Ruin This Dance Between The Two Of Them? *Grins*

She leaves while saying when the tooth fairy comes, he shouldn’t peak and Kyle goes to bed. Suddenly, Kyle hears noises in the middle of the night and senses a shadow nearby. He hides his head under the cover, but then makes the very stupid move of lowering the covers and having a flashlight on so he sees the horrifying tooth fairy.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, that’s from a different, more horrifying movie. Here is what the tooth fairy looks like in this film.

Okay, Not As Scary As That First One

Kyle screams and that alerts his mom to come to the room.

No Eric, This Mom Is Not A Bitch

But Kyle comes out of the bathroom for a stupid ass jump scare to tell his mom that he saw the tooth fairy.

Mom: Does It Look Like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson?

Kyle: No….

Mom: Then Stand Back, I Can Deal With This Tooth Fairy.

Mom actually doesn’t believe him and goes into the room where she is attacked by the tooth fairy.

Through terrible jump cuts that were the thing for horror movies at this time so they can keep the PG-13 rating and not show real gore, the tooth fairy kills Kyle’s mom. Kyle goes into the bathroom, locks the door, and hides in the tub. The tooth fairy tries to get him, but the lights are on so she runs away. We then cut to the authorities the next day, who come to the house and survey the crime scene as well as removing the body. With Kyle having no parent to take care of him, he is taken away.

Awww….No Dance, I Guess? Also Say Goodbye To Emily Browning Because That’s All She Will Be In This Movie For.

We then go to 12 years later and a grown up Caitlin is at the hospital for her son….I mean brother Michael.

Considering The Age Gap Here From Appearance, You Could Hardly Blame Me For Thinking This Was Her Son And Not Her Brother.

And I think originally, this was meant to be her son, but they changed it to her brother for reasons I will get to later. Caitlin tends to Michael because he screamed as the nurse closed the blinds. So who is Caitlin going to call about this issue, but a grown up Kyle, who is in Las Vegas and who I guess she was able to track down despite never visiting him. When she asks how he got over it, you clearly can see by his walls that Kyle never got over it and he tells her that.

Kyle decides to go back to Darkness Falls and enters the hospital where he finds Michael hiding. He talks to Michael and pretty quickly realizes that Michael is dealing with the same thing he dealt with back in the day his mother was killed even though he won’t say it. Michael has sleep disorders, anxiety, and depression so he believes that he should let the tooth fairy take him so it will be over. I’ve heard some people reviewing this movie say no kid talks like that, but I’ve known kids who wished they were dead (hell, I’ve thought about it a few times myself) and yeah, some of them do kind of talk like that. Michael believes the creature will eventually kill him and Kyle says his sister won’t let that happen, but Michael can’t stop her.

Caitlin shows up and is happy to see Kyle again. Caitlin says the doctors think Michael will be fine, but she isn’t sure. She then asks Kyle what happened to him after his mother died. After seeing drawings and seeing Caitlin still doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy, Kyle says this was a mistake to come down here. Kyle goes to leave, but Caitlin stops him and then we meet a friend of Caitlin’s named Larry.

Larry wonders if there is a reason to panic and Kyle says no, still not willing to admit it’s the same thing despite knowing it’s the same thing. Larry offers to take Caitlin and Kyle out to dinner and Caitlin declines, saying she will stay with Michael. Kyle apologies for not helping before Caitlin leaves. Larry takes Kyle to a tavern for some drinks and Kyle can’t drink beer because of the medication he is on. Larry goes to buy some drinks for him and a drunk guy named Ray wonders who Larry is with. Larry says it is Kyle and then goes back to talk to Kyle. Larry says Kyle left a whole bunch of shit behind and we finally get what they do as Kyle works for gaming in Vegas and Larry is an attorney.

Kyle is freaked out a bit by the shadows and we for some reason get a girl getting beer spilled on her.

Ray shows up and wonders what the hell Kyle is doing back in Darkness Falls. Kyle doesn’t want any trouble, but Ray wants to fight. Kyle just walks away, but that isn’t good enough for Ray who tackles him from behind when Kyle goes outside. The two roll down a hill into the woods and afterwards, Ray starts punching Kyle. Kyle hears the tooth fairy and freaks out, starting to respond with a flurry of punches on Ray. Ray while down sees the tooth fairy and that unfortunately means Ray has got to die.

Tavern patrons and authorities come out to search for the two and hear screams. An officer named Matt is with Larry and Matt wants everyone to split up. Larry thinks this is a bad idea and starts being scared himself, which isn’t helped when Ray’s body falls on him.

Back in the hospital, Caitlin is reading some fables. Kyle then shows up and Caitlin is bleeding (even though we don’t see any blood on him). Caitlin then takes some gravel out of Kyle’s head with some tweezers. We find out Kyle went to a foster home and they moved to Las Vegas with Kyle now working at a casino. Kyle is curious if Caitlin and Larry are going out which never gets answered here. Kyle then says the doctors shouldn’t give Michael any more tests because it is not going to help him.

Authorities then come and tell Kyle that he is going to have to come for them. He goes to interrogation with Captain Henry who wonders about the flashlights.

Kyle admits that he is afraid of the dark and Captain Henry does the brilliant detective work of saying that since Kyle is taking anti-psychotics, then he might become psychotic (that is of course sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell).  Captain Henry says Ray is dead and they believe Kyle killed him since witnesses have Ray getting into a fight with Kyle. Caitlin is interviewed about Kyle and despite not seeing him in 12 years, Caitlin knows Kyle isn’t a killer, which this would have been a lot more interesting if they went with the idea of a more psychological thriller in which you don’t know if Kyle did it and is placing mental blame on the tooth fairy. But no, this is a simple horror movie where the tooth fairy is killing people so we know what is happening.

Caitlin goes back to the hospital as Kyle is placed in a holding cell.

Of Course This Movie Would Be Lazy Enough To Have A Freaking Cat Jump Scare

Gilmore Is Not Amused

In the hospital, Michael is asleep, but then the lights go out and he wakes up. Caitlin goes to his room, but Michael has locked himself in the bathroom. Caitlin is able to break down the door and she finds Michael tried to kill himself by slashing his own wrist.

Caitlin comforts her little brother as he says “she is going to get him”. Later we see a psychiatrist Dr. Travis telling Caitlin that Michael is suffering from night terrors and because of his consistent lack of sleep, he has suffered a break and once that break occurs, he cannot separate what is real and fake. So yes, all the talk about him believing something is after him is just all this break manifesting, even though he believed that shit even before he stopped sleeping.

I Don’t Think You Are Very Good At Your Job, Doc.

Anyway, they plan to put him in a sensory deprivation chamber so the boy faces his fears and finds out there is nothing to be afraid of. Back at the police station, Kyle gets bailed out by Larry. Kyle doesn’t get back his flashlights so the first thing Kyle does when he gets out of the cell is go get some more flashlights and steals a gun. Kyle then wants Larry to drive him to the hospital as we go back to the hospital to see the sensory deprivation chamber.

THAT’S A FUCKING MRI MACHINE!!!!!

And before anyone is like “How do you know that is an MRI machine and not a different model of a sensory deprivation tank”, I have some news for you. As some of you know, I’ve had multiple sclerosis since 2005 and almost every year (including the year I got diagnosed), I have been in one of those machines to check my brain for lesions and in those 20 years, I can tell what an MRI machine looks like and that is an MRI machine.

Sensory Deprivation Tanks Look Like This

On the drive, Larry is upset that Kyle is back as everyone was better with him not around. He then explains that he tried to hook up with Caitlin, but Caitlin never got over Kyle. This is why the dumb decision was made to make Michael Caitlin’s younger sister because it would be harder to say Caitlin never got over Kyle when she had a kid with another man. The problem with that is that still could have been done where Caitlin could have tried to get over Kyle by being with another man or could have adopted Michael because she wanted a kid so badly to replace that hole that not having Kyle can fill. You could also find ways for me to believe this is Caitlin’s sister if you brought in the actual parents (which we never see) or explain that she is Michael’s legal guardian after the parents die in a car accident (that explanation is never made). Just telling you this movie is very bad at small stuff.

Anyway, as we see this, we see doctors make Caitlin sign a “release of liability” form just in case this goes bad aka if they do this and Michael is killed by the tooth fairy, they aren’t responsible. Back on the road, Larry is going to drive Kyle out of town so he can lay low until the judge gets back. Larry then reveals to Kyle about the sensory deprivation tank which Kyle is not happy about because that will make Michael an easy target. Kyle tells him to turn the car around and when Larry refuses, Kyle reveals the gun he stole.

Larry asks what happens if he doesn’t, but they are interrupted by something blocking the windshield. It then goes away and they hit a tree with Kyle flying out of the windshield.

By The Way, No Broken Bones Or Anything For Kyle Because This Is A PG-13 Movie

In fact, Larry looks worse for where as this car has no airbags so Larry just has his glasses broken.

PG-13 Again So No Blood

Larry tries to open his door and he ends up seeing the tooth fairy.

Larry Is Then Killed

Kyle then drives with the heavily damaged car (that I am shocked can still be driven) and gets to the hospital. He is able to stop Michael from going into the “sensory deprivation tank” and the police immediately also arrive to arrest Kyle since the hospital called them after he tried to call them to stop with the “sensory deprivation tank”. Kyle is taken away and says don’t let them put Michael in the dark as Michael was right about the tooth fairy.

Kyle is back in the holding cell. Kyle tried to explain about the tooth fairy and of course, this cop Matt doesn’t believe him.

Ben tells his dad that they have Kyle locked up when suddenly the lights go out. Despite Kyle’s constant warnings to stay in the light, cops get picked off one by one.

Only Matt Remains

While all this happens, Kyle is able to get the keys and escape from his cell, saving Matt along the way so the two can head to the hospital. We then have some ventriloquism ADR as dialogue is coming out of Caitlin and Michael, but….

Their Mouths Arent Moving To Match The Dialogue At All

They hide under the bed until the tooth fairy flips the bed away from them so they have to run. Thankfully the two are saved by Kyle. We have a perilous elevator escape before the elevator falls and they join up with Dr. Murphy and nurses Alex and Lauren. Unfort

Alex Goes First In The Basement

Then Lauren Goes On The Stairs

It looks bad for Kyle and the group, but a car crashes through the building that was driven by Matt. They all get in the car and get out of that hospital. In the car, the doctor wonders what that thing was and everyone ignores him…especially when Matt tells Kyle that he got the gas cans. The plan is to go to the lighthouse and use its huge lights on the tooth fairy. The doctor thinks they should keep driving since they are safe in the car and on cue, windows break and the tooth fairy grabs the doctor to kill him.

Bye Doctor. You Have No Name So You Must Die.

The tooth fairy keeps attacking the windows and trying to get the car off the road. Caitlin grabs a flashlight and shines it on her so she runs away. And after it leaves, the flashlight busts and stops working.

Thank You, Church Lady…..I Agree

They get to the lighthouse and bring the cans of gasoline as well as two lamps for safe travels. They go up the stairs and put all the gas in the battery. They turn on the lighthouse which works for a short bit before turning off because of a fuel line blockage. Kyle and Matt try to go down to fix the fuel line and they find the problem.

We’ve Got A Leak

Kyle goes to tighten a rag around the leak and the creature grabs and kills Matt. The result causes Kyle to fall and the lamp to break.

Back on the top, the lamp almost goes out for Caitlin and Michael, but Michael brought a glow stick with him.

The tooth fairy still attacks and goes after Caitlin. Kyle shows up and throws a lamp at the creature which drives it away for a second before it shows up for a second to look at them menacingly.

Kyle then has to go to flip the switch and this movie tries to make it intense as they have to do this before all the light goes out. Michael has to go in and flip the switch, which turns the light on. Movie over, right?

Nope

The tooth fairy attacks Kyle and Kyle removes the mask from the creature so we can see her burnt face.

Kyle sets his arm on fire and burns the tooth fairy with it. Fire plus light finally kills the creature.

FIRE PUNCH!!!! For The Win!!

Boy Those CGI Flames Look Bad

The tooth fairy then explodes and then we go to a different house where a father is tucking his kid to bed and he just lost his last baby tooth.

After sleeping, shadows show up as the kid wakes up and wonders if it is the tooth fairy, but it is the kid’s mom who tells the kid to go back to sleep.

And as the mother kisses the kid asleep, the mother stealthily takes the tooth and puts a coin under his pillow. And then the movie ends with the awesome Vixtrola “Gunboat” song.

You hear the whole song and another song (“Lookout Below” by Closure). Then it still goes because this whole closing credits takes 11 MINUTES since the movie didn’t have enough of a run time so slow the credits down to make the cut. And they had a few scenes they cut so you don’t need 11 minutes.

Like A Scene Where Young Caitlin Gives Young Kyle A Necklace And She Says She Believes Him

A Scene Where A Doctor Doesn’t Know What Is Wrong With Michael And Recommends She Get A Second Opinion From Someone Who Has Dealt With Night Terrors In The Past (This Could Have Been Why She Called Michael About This Issue)

A Scene Where Caitlin Hangs Up On Kyle After He Says He Never Got Over It. And Then Michael Looks At His Set Of Keys Where He Still Has That Necklace She Gave Him In The Earlier Cut Scene.

A Scene Where Michael Throws Those Keys Into A Window To Get More Light When They Are Trapped Down In The Basement. And Then When The Lights Close, Caitlin And A Nurse Has To Keep Her Eyes Closed So The Creature Can’t Attack Since She Hasn’t Seen The Tooth Fairy Yet. The Nurse Opens Her Eyes And Sees The Creature In The Reflection So It Kills Her (This Whole Thing Was 3 Minutes And 30 Seconds That Could Have Been Added)

So let’s talk about this movie’s aftermath. This movie was actually a success at the box office, making $47 million against a $11 million budget. Jonathan Liebesman continued directing (albeit they sucked) like Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Battle: Los Angeles, Wrath Of The Titans (which I previously inducted), and that godawful first installment of Michael Bay’s version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Yuck

And then he was uncredited as directing the reshoots of that horrible Dolittle movie starring Robert Downey Jr.

Pulling Something Out Of A Dragon's Ass.....Double Yuck.

Emma Caufield would in 2021 be in 4 episodes of Wanda Vision as Sarah Proctor aka Dottie Jones and the next year, reveal she has had multiple sclerosis since 2010 (5 years after I got it). Emily Browning would have a decent career with roles like as Violet in Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events (the 2005 movie version), Anna Ivers in The Uninvited (the 2009 American remake of the South Korean film A Tale Of Two Sisters), as Babydoll in Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch, and Cassia in Paul W.S. Anderson’s Pompei.

Since the production was in Australia, most of the cast was from Australia and went back to work in Australia productions after this film, but some still are known for other things. Kestie Morassi (who played the first nurse that got killed) would actually get some fame as a doomed backpacker Kristy Earl in Wolf Creek.  Sullivan Stapleton (who played Matt) would be most well-known for being in 2014’s 300: Rise Of An Empire as Themistocles. Steven Mouzakis (who played the doctor that got killed) would mostly go back to working as the evil cultist Szandor D’Abo/voice of the demon Mr. Wriggles in the very good Late Night With The Devil. Angus Sampson (who played Ray) would do fine for himself as he was in Insidious, The Mule, and is the Organ Mechanic in Mad Max: Fury Road and Furiosa.

Sadly, despite this being made in 2003, there were two people who passed away after this film was made. Cheney Kley (who played the main character Kyle) died 4 years later in 2007 from complications from sleep apnea at the age of 34. Peter Curtin (who played Dr. Travis, the psychiatrist) passed away in 2014 at the age of 70.

Time for my actual thoughts on this movie. Yeah…I remembered liking it more the first time than I did this time and the main reason for that is I remember the song “Gunboat” by Vixtrola being played more in the film than just the ending credits (then again, it was a long time ago so I might be remembering things differently). This was a movie that was meddled with a lot, which is a shame because I could see with changes that this studio got rid of (the original creature, the original psychological angle of this being ambiguous if this was all real or just in Kyle’s mind, turning Michael into Caitlin’s brother and the parents never being around, and several of the scenes that they cut could have helped with the story so you didn’t need a slow ass ending credits scene). The CGI was really bad and when you do a PG-13 horror movie, you really need a good story to make up for the lack of blood and well, this did not have that. This is just another film to throw in the pile of terrible 2000s horror that sadly was plenty.

Hello, Shithead

Oh good, you’re back. Notice the sarcasm when I say that. You know, the bullshit going on this year has already been bad that I am tempted to punch you in the face.

You can try, but looking at you and looking at me, I don’t think you want to do that because I will respond in kind and if you think Jason Voorhees knocking that one guy’s head off in Friday The 13^th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan was bad, I can do far worse with my punch.

Just get to the fucking point already before I decide that won’t stop me from doing that because it will at least end your torment of me and end my having to deal with a shithead president who just pardoned a bunch of criminals who committed the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen on American soil since September 11.

Hey, I know about that shit, which is why I decided to just come right out and not interrupt you.

And yet you still called me a shithead.

I can only do so much out of kindness and it is already making me sick. Anyway, since you seem to LOVE the 2000s, I got another film for you to induct. But don’t worry, it won’t be a horror movie as you already have done 3 in a row of those. It’s actually an comic book movie directed by an Academy Award winning director and one that was hyped in 2003 and boy did it did not come close to what the studios expected.