Saturday, December 21, 2024

Monster Crap Inductee: Pumpkinhead: Ashes To Ashes (2006)

Monster Crap Inductee: Pumpkinhead: Ashes To Ashes
This Movie Definitely Should Be Cremated

2006

You might remember that in February of 2014, I inducted the not good sequel to Pumpkinhead, Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings. Well, more than 10 years later from that induction, we return to the world that Pumpkinhead with the third film, Pumpkinhead: Ashes To Ashes….which was shot back to back with the fourth film Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud and both those films premiered on the Sci-Fi Channel.

They Had Not Yet Rebranded To This Terrible Name.

Ashes To Ashes decided to be more of a sequel to the first film and ignore any of the events of Blood Wings because well, of course you would want to follow the film that was actually like and not its crappy sequel. They would also decide to bring back Lance Henrickson from the first film as a ghost because his character well, kind of died in the first film.

He Was Also In 2007’s Alien Vs. Predator and 1993’s Super Mario Bros.

This movie also was able to get Doug Bradley into this third film who is well known as the actor who played Pinhead in most of the Hellraiser movies.

Including Hellraiser Bloodline and Hellraiser Inferno, Both Of Which We Inducted Before

And I Got His Autograph And Picture In 2017.

And they hired the rest of the cast with no names, but there are some who were in other Monster Crap inductions. Dicu Aurel and Vasilecu Valentin were both in Uwe Boll’s Bloodrayne We also have Bob Gunter uncredited as one of the people in the Pumpkinhead costume and you may remember him as the coach who got killed by soda cans in Maximum Overdrive.


Mike J. Regan is the other person who is uncredited in the Pumpkinhead costume and he was in another costume for another Monster Crap inductee.

He Was The Chatterer In Hellraiser: Inferno

And with that out of the way, let’s get to the induction work.

We begin this movie with ash falling from the sky as the credits roll.

And We Get Our Opening Title Card

We then go to the swamp as a guy is guy is running away from something. This is of course Bunt Wallace and he is being chased by Pumpkinhead.

Wait A Minute….I Swear I’ve Seen That Face Before.

It’s That Guy That Ends Up Killing Monica Potter’s Character In Patch Adams

He is cornered by Pumpkinhead who is not looking that great. Here he is in Pumpkinhead.


And here he is in Pumpkinhead 2.


And here he is now.


Pumpkinhead cuts a mark on Bunt and then we find out it is all a nightmare.


Bunt gets waken up by Doc Fraser who if you can guess is evil.

It's Doug Bradley. Of Course He Is Evil.

Doc Fraser tells him to move the body that he is sleeping next to (not in a sexual way) and hide it in the swamp. Bunt does as he is told although he is very reluctant about it. Unfortunately for him, as he is doing it….he is spotted by a random hiker who is just walking in the woods with his dog.


The hiker decides that he needs to tell somebody and he goes to the nearest building he can find, which is the Wallace Crematorium.

Considering That Is Bunt Wallace He Saw, This Is Going To End Badly

Instead of just knocking on the door and if no one showed up, move along….this hiker decides that he is going to investigate the crematorium. Unfortunately for him, he sees Doc Fraser along with Dahlia Wallace, Tiny, and Junior cutting up a corpse.


Anyway, Bunt is still burying the body and is met by the ghost of Ed Harley from the first movie.

He Looks Like A Man Who Can’t Believe Someone Talked Him Into Doing This Movie

We learn that Bunt a kid in the first film who survived Pumpkinhead’s attack…because he made the sin of just getting in Pumpkinhead’s way of his real targets. That kid also was the one who introduced Ed Harley to the witch who calls for Pumpkinhead. The ghost tells Bunt that he is doing wrong and he is going to be causing vengeance to be coming so he must stop. Bunt just tells Ed to keep out of his head.

Back at the crematorium, Doc and the other Wallaces see that the hiker has seen what they have done so Tiny and Junior chase him. He hides in a nearby barn where the Wallaces have been hiding other bodies, but is sadly found out because his damn dog that belonged to the hiker (which Bunt brought along) shows up to sniff him out.

Dog: You Didn’t Give Me My Treats Today So I Have No Loyalty To Your Sorry Ass

Tiny then stabs the hiker with a pitchfork.


The hiker is then brought to Doc, who decides that he needs to be chloroformed and have a kidney taken from him.


The kidney is then put in a cooler as Doc tells Junior and Bunt to get rid of the hiker. Meanwhile, Doc goes with Tiny to a motel room where they meet a man who sells meth and deals in the black market named Lenny.

Who Has A Very Strong Romanian Accent.

You see, this film is supposed to be set in the same place as the first film, which is out in the United States countryside (aka the redneck parts), but this film and the film after this were both shot in Romania and a lot of the cast are Romanian so well, you have this issue. If you want to cut costs for doing a movie, you have to deal with the consequences of the movie being very unauthentic.

Bunt and Junior try to bury the hiker in the swamp and leave, but the hiker wakes up and runs away. Meanwhile, Lenny gives Doc some meth and when Doc asks for some money for the kidney, Lenny reveals that he doesn’t have the money laying around so he will have to accept an I.O.U. Back with the hiker, he stumbles upon a truck driven by Molly Sue Allen, who stops and picks him up to give him help.


He tells her everything that happened because of the Wallaces and then dies in her truck. She goes to the sheriff’s office and despite what she has said, Sheriff Bullock doesn’t seem to take much interest as he believes she is lying.


Of course that does change when the deputy looks in the truck and sees the hiker’s body and tells the sheriff so of course, they now have to investigate the Wallaces. Doc and Tiny come back just in time to see the cops at the Wallace crematorium arresting the rest of the Wallaces so they drive off to hide. They put Dahlia, Bunt, and Junior in a jail cell as the sheriff asks why did they do it. The next day, a search is made to find bodies, which they do in the swamp and in the barn.


Bullock shows back up and Molly Sue slaps him for not believing her. The sheriff says he will call the FBI who will send two agents over in a few days. Of course since Doc is not a Wallace himself, they don’t know he is in on the whole scheme so they trust him to help with the investigation on the medical side. Doc even tries to say that he doesn’t even know what was done to these bodies was even a crime (well, except for the hiker). Unfortunately for Doc, I very much happen to know that desecrating a body is very much a crime in many states and if you look at the bodies, they have been very desecrated.

A scream happens as Ellie and Ronnie Johnson come out of the barn to confirm that one of the bodies was that of their mother who was supposed to be cremated.


Molly Sue’s husband Oliver wants to check on Ellie, but Molly Sue tells him not to as we get a teasing of the fact that Oliver is attracted to Ellie and the marriage between Oliver and Molly Sue is falling apart.


Back in the jail cell, Bunt says that they have done bad and that they may face the wrath of Pumpkinhead which Junior laughs about. Dahlia tells them both to shut up, but Bunt continues to say the old saying about Pumpkinhead which is:

“Keep away from Pumpkinhead
Unless you’re tired of living
His enemies are mostly dead
He’s mean and unforgiving
Laugh at him and you’re undone
But in the most dreadful fashion
Vengeance, he considers fun
And plans it with a passion
Time will not erase or blot
A plot that he has brewing
It’s when you think he’s forgot
He’ll conjure your undoing
Bolted doors and windows barred
Guard dogs prowling in the yard
Won’t protect you in your bed
Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead”

Dahlia tells Bunt not to be a superstitious fool as we go back to the area around the crematorium where more bodies are found. Oliver finds the old grave that the body of Ed Harley was buried in to become the next Pumpkinhead and thinks it is one of the body the Wallaces left around.

Now Why In God’s Name Would Criminals Hide A Body Up There

Doc looks at the body and says that this is a much older body than the rest of them and wonders where Oliver found it. Oliver says he found it deep in the woods near an old pumpkin patch. Doc tells Molly that they haven’t found a child yet so her suspicions of her dead son being one of the bodies seems to be unfounded. But he spoke too soon as her son’s body is found by the sheriff.

You Probably Shouldn’t Have Said Anything, Doc.

Molly Sue cries as she says those monsters butchered her baby. Doc then uses his jacket to cover up the kid’s body out of respect. Just then, the witch Haggis shows up.


The witch claims the body that was found in the pumpkin patch and takes it away because it is not like the other bodies here. Molly Sue wants to talk to Haggis, but Haggis ignores her and walks away. Later, Molly Sue goes to the house of Richie, who is also with Ellie and Ronnie Johnson.


She wants the three of them to come with her to talk to Haggis about getting vengeance for their relatives as Richie also had his father as one of the corpses that was supposed to be cremated, but wasn’t. Molly Sue dumps the fake ashes on the floor to prove a point and says that they are all crazy if they do nothing since even Doc says he doesn’t know that what they did was a crime (which as I said earlier, desecration of a corpse is very much a crime). She convinces them all to come with her as they head to Haggis’ home in the middle of the woods.


They arrive and want Pumpkinhead to seek vengeance in their name so Haggis cuts their hand with a knife to put their blood in a cup.


The blood in the cup is then mixed with some stuff (don’t know what it is) and then poured over the Pumpkinhead corpse that is Ed Harley.


We then get a transformation that turns a strange looking corpse into Pumpkinhead.

The Practical Parts Of This Transportation Of Cool, But Sadly There Are Some CGI Parts That Take Away From It.

And thus the scorecard is complete.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 4
People Who Need To Die: 5

Back at the police station and local jail, Bunt gets startled by thunder and Dahlia tells him that everything is okay as Doc will come for them. Deputy Ben wonders what is going on and is told that Bunt is afraid of the thunder, which he finds funny. Suddenly, there is banging at the door and Pumpkinhead barges in.

Who’s There? Well It Aint Fucking Frosty!

Everyone is very scared and Deputy Ben shoots the creature, which does nothing. Ben has his throat sliced by one of Pumpkinhead’s long pointy fingers.


Junior steals Ben’s jail keys, but he is caught by Pumpkinhead so he gives it to the other two to escape while he gets his head crushed.


The score has changed.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 4
People Who Need To Die: 4

Of course as with Pumpkinhead, the four people who called for Pumpkinhead feel the pain and pass out because of it as is the case when Pumpkinhead kills someone you want dead. If Pumpkinhead kills someone who just got in the way, you really feel nothing I guess. Dahlia and Bunt escape and steal a police car. They eventually arrive at Doc’s house where Doc and Tiny are waiting. They explain the situation although Doc thinks it’s the meth that is making them paranoid. He gives Dahlia the meth he got from Lenny and tells Tiny to get rid of the police car. He then has Bunt take Dahlia upstairs as he figures out what the next move is. Tiny disposes of the police car as Molly Sue and Oliver arrive to talk with Doc so the Wallaces all hide.

Molly Sue says she is not feeling too well as outside Tiny climbs up to the second story window in hopes of getting inside since something is making plenty of noises in the forest. Doc tells Molly Sue that the stress of the last couple of days may have caught up with her and that may be causing her issues. He tells her to try the breathing exercises he had her do when she was a kid so it is clear Doc has been in this town for a long time. He also prescribes her some medicine and sends them both on their way. They also tell him that a memorial service is being held for the corpses that were desecrated and ask him to be there, which he says he will be there.

Tiny climbs up the vines, but someone starts shaking the vines and it is Pumpkinhead.

Better Start Learning How To Fall Off 20 Foot Vines. You Can Use That Knowledge To Learn How To Fall Off 20 Foot Ladders In Case You Get Into A Ladder Match.

Tiny gets up to the second floor and tries to get in through the window, but Pumpkinhead is also up there.


It attacks and kills Tiny as Bunt, Dahlia, and Doc (who now knows what he is dealing with) can only watch in horror.

He Impales Tiny On The Spire

Once again, the score card.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 4
People Who Need To Die: 3

Again, everyone who summoned him feels the pain as Doc arms Bunt, Dahlia and himself with shotguns.

Not That Shotgun Although A Bunch Of Shotgun Jones Against Pumpkinhead Might Be Fun, But Will Sadly Never Happen Since The Actor Who Played Shotgun Jones Died In 2016 In Fredericksburg, Virginia….Which Is Where I So Happen To Live In At This Time. Anyway, It Gives Me An Excuse To Play The Shotgun Theme Song.

You’re Welcome

Back to the movie, you would expect they are going to fight Pumpkinhead with them arming themselves, but no….

They Bravely Run Away

In the car, Bunt is talking about how they all asked for this since they did people harm by desecrating the corpses of relatives. Dahlia wants them to stop at Lenny’s and Doc tells them both to shut up so he can think. Bunt says they are marked and the ghost of Ed Harley replaces Doc to tell them that he is correct. He says that it isn’t his fault and Ed Harley tells him this.

Ed Harley: Why Don’t You Tell That To God When You See Him? I Just Lay Down With The Dogs That Got Fleas.

Bunt says no and it goes back to Doc being in the car, indicating that Bunt was the only one who saw Ed Harley there. Bunt sees Ed Harley in the middle of the road and takes the wheel from Doc causing the car to swerve and crash.


Bunt and Doc get out of the car and Bunt thinks Dahlia is dead, but Doc tells her that she is still alive. He also seems rather calm with what Bunt just did as he calmly tells her to take care of his sister and to get his head out of his ass. They go to the church and hide in the basement. Doc then asks Bunt what he knows about Pumpkinhead and we go back to footage of Bunt as a kid seeing the creature.

Via Footage From The First Film

Bunt says the creature is bigger than it was back then and explains to Doc everything he did in the first film as a kid. He explains that Ed Harley stopped it and he doesn’t explain how because he doesn’t know. Bunt says Ed is standing right behind Doc, but remember that only Bunt can see him so when Doc turns around, nothing is there. He then explains that Ed was killed by the surviving girl and then Pumpkinhead went away, so the whole asking Ed about it was completely pointless. Church music plays and Doc tells Bunt that he and Dahlia should stay where they are as he will be attending a memorial.

Asshole Even Puts A Piece Of Wood Over The Door So They Can’t Escape

Doc attends the memorial and sits next to Oliver and Molly Sue. The priest begins his sermon as Pumpkinhead is outside the church with a log, which he uses to bar the door. Pumpkinhead then climbs the church as the sermon continues.

Yeah, The CGI For Pumpkinhead Is Really Bad….Although It Is What You Would Expect For 2006 Sci Fi Channel.

Pumpkinhead then breaks through a window.

Peace Be With You All….After I Kill Your Asses

Pumpkinhead comes down and people try to escape, but that log is barring the door.


The priest then sprays Pumpkinhead with holy water, which does nothing.

In The Almighty Words Of Dolemite….Bitch, Are You For Real?

Pumpkinhead swats the priest away into the candles so the priest can be a walking inferno.

Lamb Of God Approves Of This "Burn The Priest"

The rest of the church starts getting on fire as well while people are still trying to escape. Sheriff Bullock shoots at the creature, but the only thing that does is lead Bullock to an early grave.


Doc then sees Richie feeling the choking as well which is odd to him. The log finally budges as people are able to escape the burning church, but Ronnie is not so lucky as a board falls on him, killing him instantly.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 3
People Who Need To Die: 3

This also takes down Pumpkinhead as Doc leaves with Richie. Elle wants to go in for Ronnie, but Doc tells her that it is too late. In the basement, Dahlia sees the smoke so she and Bunt try to escape, but their door was barred by Doc earlier so they are having trouble escaping. But Doc removes the wood so they can escape. They watch as the church burns down (I guess everyone else just left already because you know, someone would recognize the criminals hanging with Doc and this movie would shorter). They think it is over, but Bunt gives them the bad news that Pumpkinhead is still alive.


Molly Sue is in her bed and Oliver tells her this is what she wanted, but Molly Sue wonders why it came to the church and what it was after there because yes, they still do not know that Doc is one of the people who needs to be taken out. Oliver says that Ronnie is dead and wonders who is next, which Molly Sue says the ones who did them wrong will be next (basically, she has not changed her tune on this whole vengeance thing). Oliver then wonders if there is anything left for them as she is turning into a monster.

And We Have To Show Those Scary Eyes For Effect

Doc, Dahlia, and Bunt go back to Doc’s house and he tells Bunt to get Tiny down from the spire. Bunt doesn’t want to do it as it may be dangerous, but Doc says he needs to do it for his cousin’s dignity. Bunt goes up and takes Tiny’s body off the spire and since it is raining, Bunt nearly falls off the roof (but again, that would make this film shorter if he did so no luck. Oliver drives up (and does not see the guy removing a body on the roof) to talk to Doc so Dahlia hides. Because Oliver trusts Doc, he tells Doc about Molly Sue feeling worse and the fact that she, the Johnsons, and Richie went to Haggis’ house. He asks Doc if they really could have called for the vengeance and Doc says he doesn’t know, but after tonight, he’ll believe anything. Oliver leaves and Doc goes back inside, just before Bunt accidentally allows Tiny’s body to fall from the roof.

At the Johnson’s household, Ellie is tending to Richie and thinks they need to call this whole vengeance off, which Richie doesn’t know how to do. She thinks they should have just left Sheriff Bullock do his job and Oliver arrives to ask what they had that old witch to do. Richie asks where Molly Sue is and Oliver says she isn’t here as she doesn’t want to stop this at all. Richie says they can go back and Oliver says that he and Ellie will go back as Richie needs to rest with his head injury.

Back with Bunt as he is burying Tiny as Doc and Dahlia come by. Dahlia wonders how they can stop this and Bunt says he needs to dig three more graves for them because Pumpkinhead is going to get them. Doc says he saves people’s lives in this town and he will again. He then comes up with the idea that if he can kill the people who summoned Pumpkinhead, then Pumpkinhead will stop and they will be still alive. Doc leaves as Bunt and Dahlia hug with Bunt wanting to go home.

Bunt goes back to the Wallace Crematorium to get some stuff and sees that the ghost of Ed Harley is watching outside. Bunt follows the ghost as we go to Oliver and Ellie as they head to the witch’s house. They try and ask the witch to stop the vengeance, but the witch says that it cannot be done and they’ll just have to wait until it is done, which they will die afterwards. Oliver asks what if they can make things right by making things as they are supposed to be, which Haggis says that would require some very strong magic, stronger than what she has. She even sarcastically asks if they can teach her that trick. Oliver tells the witch that she doesn’t scare him and that everything has an end. They leave and we see that Bunt has heard the entire thing as he followed them while following the ghost. He also hears Oliver’s idea of cremating the bodies like they what was supposed to happen. Of course, the witch knows Bunt has been there as she can smell him and tells him he’ll find no pity here. Bunt leaves.

Doc then drives up to the Johnson residence and enters to see that only Richie is there. He takes out a syringe, which he puts poison in.


He tells Richie that he is here to take care of him and is about to inject him, when he hears a sound and it is of course Pumpkinhead who has arrived. Richie sees the syringe and realizes Doc was trying to kill him so they have a fight while Pumpkinhead is slowly walking towards them outside. Doc demands to know who else called on Pumpkinhead and Richie says he will see Doc in hell. Doc injects the poison into Richie, killing him and knocking out Pumpkinhead once again.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 2
People Who Need To Die: 3

Doc goes outside and sees the truck has been knocked over so he runs away by foot. Of course since there are more people who summoned him, Pumpkinhead gets back up afterwards and leaves as well. Oliver and Ellie notice the overturned truck and go inside to find Richie’s dead body. They find Doc’s hat left behind and realize he is one of the bad guys. Doc runs to Molly Sue’s house and sneaks in through an open window. He has to hide in a closet as Molly Sue gets out a suitcase and starts packing. Oliver arrives and tells Molly Sue that Doc has something to do with this. Molly Sue doesn’t believe him and says he and Ellie can do whatever they want as she is leaving for a motel, saying she would rather burn in hell than save the world.

Back at Doc’s house, Dahlia starts packing as well as she plans to take herself and Bunt away from this place. Doc arrives before Dahlia can find Bunt and takes her with him to go get some meth because Molly Sue is at this motel as well. At the motel, Molly Sue just so happens to be in the room next door to Lenny’s and she complains about his music being to loud. He tries to hit on her and she shows him the gun she has. She leaves afterwards and Lenny turns the music doesn’t turn the music down so that bit was pointless. Doc and Dahlia arrive and Dahlia is going to get high with Lenny while Doc goes to Molly Sue.

In the woods, we have another scene with Bunt and Ed Harley’s ghost where Ed tells Bunt to just get it over with and then tells him to run as Bunt ignores him and keeps running. In the crematorium, Oliver and Ellie try to get the furnace working so they can cremate the bodies. Bunt shows up and he wants to help them so he helps them get the furnace started. They get the furnace working and start going to work cremating the bodies that were supposed to be cremated.


Back at the motel, Dahlia and Lenny are getting high and also making out as Doc tries to sneak into Molly Sue’s motel room with his gun, but Molly Sue is waiting for him and she makes him put his hands up. She wonders how he could work with the Wallaces and do the horrible things he did. He explains that the bodies were just vessels as they are no longer the people they once were and she asks about the hiker, which he explains he had no choice as the hiker was going to screw their whole operation. He also says that the only way he can give the healthcare he gives this town free of charge. Meanwhile, we still see Oliver, Ellie, and Bunt cremating the bodies.

Molly Sue is feeling the effects of vengeance as Pumpkinhead has arrived at the motel. He breaks into Lenny’s room and kills Lenny while Dahlia laughs in her high state.


Molly Sue drops the gun while feeling the death and Doc grabs it. Dahlia comes in to Molly Sue’s room as Lenny gets thrown through the thin wall and Pumpkinhead arrives. Doc tries shooting Pumpkinhead, but that does no good. Doc then kills Molly Sue and that knocks Pumpkinhead out for a bit.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 1
People Who Need To Die: 3

At the crematorium, Ellie tells Oliver they would have been good together and they kiss.


Doc and Molly Sue laugh, but Pumpkinhead gets right back up and knocks Doc out the window. Pumpkinhead then kills Dahlia as she laughs in her high state.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 1
People Who Need To Die: 2

The motel then blows up as one of the bullets Doc fired on Pumpkinhead hit a gas can and that gas eventually got to a left on stove that Lenny had.


Ellie reveals that she is the last of those that summoned Pumpkinhead. Night turns to day as Doc arrives to the crematorium and tells Bunt he could handle this. He tries to kill Ellie, but Bunt takes the bullet for her.


Pumpkinhead is there and immediately kills Doc.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 1
People Who Need To Die: 1

Ellie puts the last corpse in the furnace and thinks that will end things, but Pumpkinhead keeps going so that whole plan failed. Ellie then decides that she is going to die either way and does it in her own terms by going into the fiery furnace herself, which stops Pumpkinhead.

Pumpkinhead Summoners: 0
People Who Need To Die: 1

Yeah, Bunt survives as Pumpkinhead turns back into Ed Harley’s body.


Bunt laughs as the whole thing disappears and Oliver turns off the furnace. Two FBI Agents show up and they take both Bunt and Oliver in for questioning. Haggis shows up to the crematorium and takes the body of Ellie. She puts Ellie’s body in the pumpkin patch as she will be the next Pumpkinhead.


And that ends the movie.

So this movie debuted on the Sci Fi Channel and then a year later, Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud would be released on the Sci Fi Channel. Critics who have seen this film have found it unmemorable and is just of low quality. Lance Henrickson himself has expressed disappointment in the film and that’s all you will get for the film’s aftermath. Not much also with the cast’s aftermath as Lance Henrickson is still getting roles as Lance Henrickson and not much for everyone else. For Jake West, he has mostly decided that he is going to direct documentaries and short docs that will be extras for DVDs. He directed Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship, & Videotape (which I have) and the sequel, Video Nasties: Draconian Days.

Nobody from this movie has passed away so let’s get to my thoughts on this film. This film is very mundane and I’ve had a hard time getting through as it was boring. None of the characters are memorable (not even Doug Bradley or Lance Henrickson) and the CGI is really terrible. I would rather watch Pumpkinhead: Blood Wings over this film and sadly, it doesn’t get much better with Blood Feud. Bottom line is there is only one Pumpkinhead movie worth watching and that is the first one, while everything else you can skip.

And that is the end of the year so I’ll see you in 2025 (pray for us all as the Trump Bullshit returns). For now, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

You Filthy Animals.

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