Monster
Crap Induction: Jurassic Park III
Do
You Dream Of A Raptor On A Plane? Alan Does.
2001
Before
1993, people had heard that Steven Spielberg was going to make a film called
Jurassic Park (based on a Michael Crichton novel) and there were several films
that would beat Jurassic Park to making a film about dinosaurs as they knew,
once Jurassic Park hit, dinosaurs would be big. And of course, 1993 hit and it
became the big ass blockbuster smash hit that everyone knew it was going to do.
2 years
later, Michael Crichton would write The Lost World, which was a sequel to his
first Jurassic Park book. And then 2 years after that book was written,
Spielberg would direct The Lost World: Jurassic Park II.
It Was
Only The 2nd Biggest Box Office Film As It Would Be Beaten By
Another Film Director By Another Big Name Director.
Yep….James
Cameron’s Titanic Also Came Out In 1997.
At this
point, people were definitely wanting Michael Crichton to write a third book,
but because Crichton was already made to write the second book, there was no
freaking way he was going to do that shit. So in 1998, Hollywood decided that
they didn’t need Crichton as they would write their own film. Hollywood also
decided they didn’t need Steven Spielberg (who was busy with other projects) so
they would get someone else to direct. They would then hire 3 people to write
the script for the film and hire the director of hits like Honey, I Shrunk The
Kids and Jumanji in Joe Johnston (probably on Spielberg’s recommendation as
while he wasn’t directing the film, Spielberg was an executive producer). They
also were able to get Sam Neill (who turned down being in Lord Of The Rings for
this) and Laura Dern (who were in the first film, but not the second film as their
characters wasn’t written even in the book) back (although Laura would be more of small
appearance in the film as she was doing other films). To round out the cast,
they got some decent names like Tea Leoni, William H. Macy, and Michael
Jeter….as well as some newcomer they had hopes for in Alessandro Nivola, who
was Castor Troy’s brother in Face/Off. The film was supposed to be released in
2000, but they ended up releasing it in 2001 with the script being still
written as the film was being made.
Now there
are some Monster Crap alumni as Laura Dern did film scenes that were used
decades later in the film Grizzly II: Revenge.
Yep,
She Was In A Sleeping Bag With George Clooney As They Were Eaten By A Bear And
Seconds Later, Charlie Sheen Would Also Be Eaten By The Killer Bear.
Taylor
Nichols was Jeffrey Weems in Congo
He Was
The Guy Who Was The First (Though Off-Screen Except For His Eye) Killed By The
Killer Gorillas
Craig
Hoskings was a Helicopter Pilot in The Relic and Troy Higgins was uncredited as
a Human Slave in that terrible Planet Of The Apes remake.
Now
let’s start actually get into Jurassic Park and not Jurassic Games by talking
about this film and find out why it took almost 14 years to make a sequel while
also changing it to Jurassic World.
We
begin this film with….
Universal…..My
Arch Nemesis
We
actually begin this film with a title scene immediately.
That
May Be The Quickest To A Title Scene I Have Ever Seen.
We then
go to the seas near Isla Sorna, which is Restricted.
As the
usual Jurassic Park theme plays, a guy and a kid are parasailing with two
people on the boat steering and making sure the parasail is working.
Unfortunately,
some fog appears and when it disappears, the guys on the boat are gone with
blood on the boat.
Even
worse is the boat is going to crash into some rocks so the guy and the kid have
to disengage their parasail from the boat and land on the island.
We then
go to a different kid playing with a toy brachiosaurus.
This is
the kid of Dr. Ellie Sattler, the former girlfriend/associate of Dr. Alan
Grant, who has now moved on and married a different guy as well as had two kid
with him. Of course, Dr. Alan Grant is playing with the kid because while Alan
and Ellie are no longer together, they are still friends.
Ellie
has an assistant as she is now an author and the assistant tells Ellie that Tom
the publisher wants to talk to her about the last chapter of her book. Then we
meet Ellie’s husband Mark Degler.
We then
go inside as Alan tries to get a parrot to say his name for a cracker. We find
out Mark is working for the State Department and he then leaves to take care of
the kids so Alan and Ellie can talk about Raptors and that they were right in
that Raptors could vocalize with each other. Basically, they were smarter than
even primates and whales. Alan then goes to drive home, but before he does,
Ellie tells him to call her if he needs anything.
We then
cut to Alan doing a speech at a symposium about Raptors, but all anyone wants
to ask him about is his experience on Jurassic Park, which he does not want to
talk about.
One
person does ask why we even have this conjecture as once the United Nations
figures out what to do with the islands of Jurassic Park, scientists will find
out the truth for themselves. Alan says what the dinosaurs at Jurassic Park are
just made attraction monsters with different DNA and not real dinosaurs.
Someone else asks if that means he would want to get on those islands and
research whether he is correct, and Alan responds that there is no force on
Earth or in Heaven, will ever get him to go back to that island.
We then
cut to a guy spray painting a plane and another guy with special bullets. We
then meet Udensky who gets a phone call.
Basically
these three people are mercenaries are hired by someone. We then see the two
other men blow up the plane with those special bullets.
We then
go to Fort Peck Lake, Montana, as that is where Alan’s team of paleontologists
are digging up dinosaur bones, including his assistant Billy Brennan.
The
Girl Named Cheryl Will Never Be Seen Again In This Film After This Scene
Alan
comes back and reveals they didn’t get any people willing to put out money for
them to continue. We then see that Billy and the team have made a 3D print out
of the bone that Raptors use to make noise as sort of a Raptor whistle.
Alan
says this may come to late as the funding is dried up when Paul Kirby comes by.
He has
a proposition for Dr. Grant, which he will talk about at dinner with him and
his wife. So they have that dinner and we meet Paul’s wife, Amanda.
The
proposition is they want to do something exquisite for their wedding
anniversary, which is get a tour of Isla Sorna with Dr. Grant. Dr. Grant says
that there is no way to fly low to see anything, but Amanda says they got
special permission to do so. Alan is still against being involved and goes to
leave until they reveal that they are willing to make a contribution to their
research which will go into millions.
We then
cut to the plane ride as Allen has agreed to this and Billy is going with him.
The plane ride involves the three mercenaries, Dr. Grant, Billy, and Paul and
Amanda Kirby. In the plane ride, Alan tells Billy that he has no intention of
being alone with these people so since Billy talked him into it, he had to come
with him. Billy smiles, but Alan says to not get too excited as it is most
likely that they won’t even see a thing. Alan then takes a nap and then Billy
asks one of the mercs how they know the Kirbys, which the merc answers through
their church.
We then
get a moment most people (especially critics) remember about this movie as Alan
wakes up and sees no one on the plane and then he sees a Raptor who says
“Alan”.
It’s A
Tiny Scene, But The Idea Of A Talking Raptor Saying “Alan” Has Made Many Jokes
Among People Who Have Seen The Movie.
Of
course, this was all a nightmare as Alan wakes up and it was Billy, who was
calling for him as they are almost at the island. We then hear the pilots
getting warned that they are in restricted area and they ignore it (which tells
you something is not on the up and up about this whole tour over the island as
they fly really low over the island.
Like
Super Low….
Alan
sees that they can see dinosaurs on the island, exclaiming he had forgotten how
beautiful the dinosaurs look in real life. Paul tells Amanda that they did it
as they are here. Alan starts doing the tour guide bit as he talks about the
brachiosaurus and triceratops, but it seems they really do not care about the
dinosaurs facts (which should be a super red flag). The pilot then says they
found a landing strip ahead, which they decide to land on. Alan protests that
they cannot land and makes a scene before the merc behind him knocks him out
with a tranquilizer, which we don’t see.
Alan
wakes up as the plane has landed on an airstrip and Amanda are calling for
someone named Eric on a megaphone. Billy thinks they are actually looking for
someone. Alan confronts Paul who apologizes for the tranquilizer and that they
are setting up a perimeter around the plane. Alan keeps telling them that they
need to get off this island and that Amanda needs to stop making loud yells
over a megaphone as they will attract trouble. They hear roars and Billy thinks
it is a T-Rex, but Alan says it sounds bigger than a T-Rex. The mercs come
running and say they have to leave now. Everyone runs on the plane except for one
of the mercs named Cooper who is nowhere in sight.
The
plane tries to take off, but Cooper runs in front of them. Cooper yells for
them to stop. They won’t stop and before Cooper gets run over by the plane, a
dinosaur eats his ass.
The
pilot merc tries to fly over the dinosaur, but hits it a bit, which cause the
plane to crash into the forest.
It
seems everyone is okay and Udesky says everyone should just stay put. The pilot
merc asks for the satellite phone as Udesky calls for help with maydays. Alan
tries to get out, but the plane is stuck on a tree so they can’t really get out
yet. There starts to be rumbling and movement on the plane as we see the eye of
the dinosaur through the windshield.
Amanda
sees the eye and screams, but no one else does. But the dinosaur starts
attacking the plane and rips out the front of it.
The
dinosaur attacks and it eats the pilot.
He Has
The Satellite Phone Which Will Be Important In This Film
We then
get a good look at this dinosaur.
And
This Is Where I Can Say This Dinosaur Is Called The Spinosaurus.
This is
going to be the main dinosaur threat in this movie and it was advertised as
such through the trailers. For most people, this dinosaur was never heard of
and plenty of people thought this was just a made up dinosaur for this movie,
but it is real and it is a big ass dinosaur. Back to the movie as everyone runs
to the back and the balance causes the rest of the plane falls out of the tree.
The
Spinosaurus continues to play with the plane, rolling it. Once the plane goes
into the trunk of another tree, Amanda and Alan run out of the plane and into
the forest. Alan grabs Amanda and takes her back to the plane. But everyone
eventually has to run out of the plane as the Spinosaurus destroys the plane. They
run into the woods and eventually, the Spinosaurus stops chasing them. They
stop and Alan says that he thinks they lost him. We then go to a few seconds
where they remove a brush to find a corpse of another dinosaur.
And A Tyrannosaurus
Rex That Was Eating That Dinosaur.
Alan
tells everyone not to move a muscle as T-Rexes in these films go by movement.
But once the T-Rex roars, everyone besides Alan starts running so Alan has to
start running too. So the T-Rex chases them and immediately meets the
Spinosaurus and they fight over who can eat the people.
Now you
might all be expecting an epic fight here, right? Well, I have to remind you
that this film decided the Spinosaurus will be the big threat and since it’s so
early in this movie for an epic fight, the T-Rex gets killed pretty easily
after 2 minutes.
I Know
A Lot Of People That Were Fucking Pissed When This Fight Ended So Quickly And
Quite Frankly, I Understand As It’s Too Freaking Quick For A Predator That Was
Hyped As A Bad Ass So Much In The Previous Two Films.
So
after that nonsense, Alan wants to beat the shit out of Paul for getting them
into this mess. They explain that they are here to save their son Eric, who is
trapped on this island. Of course the Costa Rican government who runs these
islands won’t do a damn thing and the US Embassy said that they should just
accept the inevitable in that their son is dead. So who was the other guy with
Eric on that parasail, you ask? Well, that was Amanda’s new boyfriend Ben
Hildebrand because get this, Paul and Amanda here are actually DIVORCED. The
reason they chose Alan here is because Udesky said they needed someone who had
been on the island and he was not going to kidnap anyone. Alan points out that
he has never been on this island before since this is the island from The Lost
World: Jurassic Park II, which is a separate island from the first film. Alan
tells Billy to go back to the plane and grab as much belongings as they can
while they make it to the coast. Paul says he and Amanda are not leaving this
island without their son, which Alan responds they are more than happy to look
for Eric on their own or go with them, but they probably aren’t getting off
this island alive either way.
Back at
the plane, supplies are gathered and Alan explains to Billy that the dinosaur
is a Spinosaurus. This dinosaur of course was not on InGen’s list of dinosaurs
so Alan is wondering what the company that was run by John Hammond was also up
to. The two paleontologists start to suspect the Kirbys aren’t even that rich
so Billy asks Paul if they base camped during their climb on K2, if it was
25,000 or 20,000 feet. Paul says 30,000 feet, which is actually less than 1,000
feet above K2 so Paul are lying about being there. Actually….Billy, you are
also lying too.
You
See, 30,000 Feet Would Be About 1,000 Feet Above Mount Everest As With K2 (The
Second Tallest Mountain In The World)…30,000 Feet Would Be About 2,000 Above It.
Paul
tries to say that can’t be true, but bottom line is they are not as rich as
they say they are. We find out that Kirby runs a company called Kirby Paint
& Tile +, with the plus standing for bathroom fixtures. Basically, they all
realize that they are on this island (probably, they will die on it) and they
aren’t even getting paid for it. Paul tries to say he will make it up to them
with a deal on fixing their kitchens or bathrooms. We also find out that Udesky
is also not a real mercenary and actually a booking agent for the mercenaries
as one of the guys couldn’t come. As they are walking, Paul and Amanda argue
over splitting up as Alan isn’t really looking for their kid. Udesky says to
Billy that if they do split up, he is going with Alan and Billy since they know
more about the dinosaurs.
As they
walk, they find the parasail that Eric and Ben were on.
They
also find a camera and after getting some batteries from a flashlight they had,
they can see what happened and that Eric was freed from the parasail, which
Paul believes means that Eric is still alive. Alan and Billy try to take the
sail for future use and they find Ben’s corpse still attached to it.
It
swings at Amanda who has probably an appropriate reaction to this in most
cases, although not this one if she wants to stay alive.
Scream
Like A Banshee
Amanda
runs away and Paul has to run after her. He comforts her about Ben, but Amanda
is more worried about Eric as he is still out there. They also found a nest
with eggs and tell Alan to come look at this so he brings Billy and Udesky
along.
Alan
then sees other nests with eggs in them and realizes these are the nests of a
pack of Raptors. They leave as Paul keeps telling Amanda that they will find
Eric since Eric is resourceful. Alan sees that Billy is missing and worries,
but Billy just so happened to be a bit behind and eventually catches up to them,
saying that he was photographing the nest. They then find the InGen base in
Isla Sorna, which Paul believes Eric is at.
They go
to it and of course, it is abandoned. They find a phone and try to call
someone, but it is pretty obvious that phone has been dead for a long time. They
find vending machines with candy and we have a bit where Paul tries to get
something and asks for change, but Billy just kicks the glass to break it and
takes a snack.
Alan
tries to do the same, but he isn’t as strong enough to break the glass. The
group finds a lab where they were making dinosaur eggs. As they look at
embryos, Amanda finds what sees like the head of a Raptor.
Just
one problem: that Raptor head is a live Raptor looking through the glass.
Amanda
screams and the rest find her and then try to make a run for it. They trap the
one Raptor and it starts making noise, which Alan realizes that the Raptor is
calling for others to help. The Raptor somehow escaped and then starts calling
for others to join in the hunt. The group runs through a herd of Parasauraolophus.
The
group unintentionally splits up and Udesky is attacked by the Raptors.
Amanda,
Paul, and Billy are in trees and they eventually see Udesky still alive, but
begging for help. Amanda starts to go, but they have to save her as this was
all a Raptor trap.
Meanwhile,
Alan is also trying to hide from the Raptors as they call for the others
including those at the trap, who come….but not before snapping Udesky’s neck
killing him.
It seems what the Raptors were called for was to
surround and try to kill Alan.
However, smoke bombs is deployed and a mystery person
helps Alan get away from the Raptors.
When we get to the secret bunker, Alan finds out that
his rescuer is Eric.
We find out that Eric has survived on this island and
Eric is shocked that his parents are looking for him together since they don’t
do well together, but Alan says that this kid would be surprised what people
can do when they have to. Eric can’t believe that Alan is here and Alan says
his parents invited him along. As they eat beans from a can and candy, Eric
says that he read both of Alan’s books. We find out that Eric has a jar of
T-Rex pee to scare the smaller dinosaurs away and when asked how he got it,
Eric says that you do not want to know and that’s all the explanation you are
going to get. Again, I’ll have to go to my Halloween III induction where I
quoted RoG from I-Mockery when he talked about the joke Cochran made about
getting a piece of Stonehenge to their warehouse.
Now that’s brilliant writing; when an idea is so
absurd that even you, the writer can’t explain it, simply have one of your lead
characters make a joke about it and move on.
Alan says that he is surprised that Eric has survived
on this island for 8 weeks, which Eric is surprised that it has been that short
of a time. We then get the only mention of Ian Malcolm with a mention of his
book and Eric not liking it because it was preachy. You might remember that
Malcolm was the lead in The Lost World: Jurassic Park II film and book despite
being killed in the original Jurassic Park book so even Michael Crichton may
have an issue with continuity with his own material. Eric then alerts Alan to
the arrival of Compys or Compsognathus so they have to lockdown since those
bastards are small and they do eat meat.
Back with Billy and Kirby exes, Billy tries to yell
for Alan, but no luck. We see an Ankylosaurus herd walk by as Paul tries to
assure Amanda that whatever happens, this isn’t her fault. Amanda said that if
Eric had been with Paul, then he would be completely safe. Amanda apologizes
that Paul has to be here, but Paul isn’t sorry that he is here because they are
looking for their son.
We then go back to Alan and Eric as they get out of
the bunker (which is actually a crashed Jurassic Park bus) and go to try and get
to the port on the coast as Billy, Paul, and Amanda get out of the tree to do
the same thing. Eric tells Alan that the closer to the coast, the more
dangerous things will be as dinosaurs really want that water. Eric hears the
satellite phone and thinks that his dad is near. Paul and Amanda hear Eric
yelling for them and go to find him. Everyone reunites through a gate in a
happy moment.
When Eric tells Paul that he found him via that
satellite phone, Paul says he didn’t have it. That happy moment is gone as if
you were actually paying attention now, you can kind of guess what the satellite
phone ringing actually means.
Yep….The Spinosaurus Is Near Because He Ate The Guy
Who Actually Had It.
I guess the film is going to ignore the improbable
reality of the Spinosaurus being stealth since it is big, but that is a problem
with a lot of Jurassic Park/World films except the first one so we’ll ignore it
being a problem in this film as we have another chase scene as Alan and Eric
have to run away since they are on the side with the Spinosaurus. They find a
small hole in the gate and everyone is officially reunited as the Spinosaurus
is unable to fit through that small hole.
Bah….Curse Me For Being Too Freaking Big
But that moment again is shortlived because the
Spinosaurus breaks through the gate.
Fuck Your Gate
They then hide into a building and the Spinosaurus
goes away because for some reason, he can’t attack this building. Billy is then
insistent that Alan give him the bag that he had, but Alan picked up. Alan gets
suspicious and opens the bag to reveal that Billy actually stole two of the
Raptor eggs.
Dammit Billy!!!!
Billy tries to explain that he was going to sell the
eggs and try to use the proceeds to continue their funding so this was done
with the best intentions. Alan says some of the worst things done in history
have been done with the best intentions and tells Billy that he is no different
from the InGen people who made these dinosaurs. Alan thinks about throwing the
bag over the side and then decides that he may be able to use the eggs as a
bargaining chip to get the Raptors off them since he believes that is why the
Raptors are chasing them. The plan is still to go to the coast for the boat,
but first they have to get through the aviary, which is for the Pteranodons,
who pretty quickly attack.
Eric is grabbed by the bird and taken to its nest,
where Eric has to run away from the babies who want to eat him. Billy then
decides to be a sacrificial lamb to make up for the mistake he made by using
the parasail.
Billy also saves Eric.
Eric is told to jump in the water (which he does) as
Alan, Paul, and Amanda fall in the water. Billy gets stuck on a cliff with the
parasail, but Billy is able to unhook himself. Attempts to save Billy by the
others sadly end in vain as Billy is seemingly taken away and killed by the
Pteranodons.
The rest of the group find a boat
On the boat, Alan tells Eric the last thing he said to
Billy about being no different from InGen and has regrets over that. Alan says
there two types of boys which is those that want to be Astronomers and those
that want to be Astronauts. Astronomers (like paleontologists) want to study
these amazing cosmic things from a place of complete safety while Astronauts want
actually experience the things in space. We then get some downtime as we see
actual dinosaurs that won’t eat them and Alan does what he was originally
brought on this mission to do which is be a tour guide.
There Is Brachiasaurus, Stegosaurus,
Ankylosaurus, and Parasauraolophus.
At
night, they hear the satellite phone, which would normally mean trouble with
the Spinosaurus,but they find the satellite phone in a pile of poop which means
they can use it again to call for help after disinfecting it.
I Bet
None Of You Were Expecting To Dig Through Crap Before Taking This Risky
Endeavor.
Of
course they have to run back to the boat as a Ceratosaurus shows up.
Or Not
As The Ceratosaurus Smells The Spinosaurus Poo And Decides To Walk Away
It
starts raining as everyone is back on the boat and they turn off the power
because they have enough power to make one call so it has to be important. Oh,
and don’t call the US Embassy as they won’t do a damn thing.
Yep….Especially Now, They Won’t Do A Damn Thing Unless
They Get Something Out Of It For Good PR.
They then realize all the dinosaurs are gone as
something spooked them which means it is time for that one phone call as Paul
tries to start the engines. Alan decides that one call is to Ellie and at first
gets her son.
Unfortunately as the kid is taking the phone to Ellie,
they are attacked by the Spinosaurus who can swim.
I Remember When People Were Calling BS On This Too,
But Further Study Has Shown These Dinosaurs To Be Very Aquatic And Can Swim In
Oceans.
Everyone puts themselves in a cage for protection, but
the phone is outside so when the phone gets to Ellie….
Although It Takes A Bit As The Kid Gets Distracted By
Barney.
Where Is An Eskimo Hitman From Mafia! When You Need
Him.
Ellie can hear the dinosaurs roars and know that her
friend Alan is in deep trouble.
The group in the cage nearly gets drowned because of
the Spinosaurus (who is okay with we food), but Paul is able to escape the cage,
get on a crane, and distract the Spinosaurus. The rest of the group escapes as
well and Alan grabs a flare gun. He shoots a flare which gets the Spinosaurus’
attention on him, but that is quickly removed as it also causes a fire because
the boat the Spinosaurus sunk had oil which is flammable.
Paul is also able to escape and the Spinosaurus is no
longer a problem for them as that is the last time we see the big new threat. Paul
then tries to remind Amanda and Eric of the time they went fishing and he ended
up sinking the trailer trying to put the boat in the water which ended in chaos
with a tow truck driver, who wanted to knock Paul’s lights out. Paul says that
he misses fishing now. When they continue walking, they hear the ocean and try
to go, but first the Raptors are back.
Alan tries to give them back the eggs and communicate
with them with the machine they 3D printed.
Unfortunately, he may have insulted the Raptors’
mothers as the Raptors are super pissed.
What Did You Say About My Fucking Mother???!!!!
But thankfully, helicopters are heard so the Raptors
just run away with the eggs. The helicopters mean that rescue as arrived as you
might remember that Ellie’s husband works for the state department and
apparently, he was able to get a unit to the island to save them.
This Movie Will Once Again Ignore That There Are Two
Islands And That This Unit Could Have Gone To The Wrong Island
Eric tells Alan that he has to thank Ellie now and
Alan agrees. We also find that the rescue unite found Billy alive.
Everyone leaves the island as it is implied that Paul
and Amanda have gotten back together. But you also get a ending where the
Pteranodons have escaped the aviary and are now heading mainland which could
set up for a future sequel.
A Sequel A Decade Later That Will Completely Ignore
The Events Of This Film And Bring The Dinosaurs Back To A Theme Park Called
Jurassic World.
So that was Jurassic Park III. The film was very much
hated by critics, but the critics were mixed on The Lost World: Jurassic Park
II so that means nothing. What does mean something is the box office because
while this film did make money and was the 8th highest grossing film
of 2001, that was a huge step down from previous films as it is still the
lowest grossing Jurassic Park/World film in the entire franchise. The franchise
would remain dormant for more than a decade until 2015 when Jurassic World came
out with a new cast from the previous films (except one scientist from the
first film).
And Since That Film Was A Smash, The Franchise
Continues On.
As far as the cast and director are involved, everyone
in this film were neither helped nor hurt by this film and everyone ended up on
the same level with hits and misses to their career, except for Linda Park (who
played a character named Hannah) as during the same year as this film, she
would also get her big break in Star Trek: Enterprise as Ensign Hoshi Sato.
But sadly, we have to get to people who have sadly
passed away since this film has happened. Michael Jeter (who played Udesky)
passed away in 2003 at the age of 50 from asphyxiation during an epileptic
seizure. Sarah Danielle Madison (who played Cheryl) died in 2014 at the age of
40 from probably a heart ailment (although it has never been truly released).
Craig Richards (who had an uncredited role as Billy’s Bar Buddy) left this
mortal coil in 2016 at the age of 60 from cancer. Julio Oscar Mechoso (who
played Enrique Cardoso, one of the guys on the boat at the beginning) left this
mortal coil in 2017 at the age of 62 after suffering a heart attack. Bruce
French (who played a science reporter) passed away in 2025 at the age of 79
from Alzheimer’s Disease. Brad Everett Young (who played an uncredited role as
a Paleontology Student) died in 2025 at the age of 51 in a car crash. Sam Neill
(who played Dr. Alan Grant) died this year of 2026 at the age of 78 of
pneumonia.
So my final thoughts are this film is not that good.
However, I would watch this film over The Lost World: Jurassic Park II as well
as Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and Jurassic World: Dominion. This film has
insane moments of stupidity that I can only just laugh at like the Raptor on a
plane, the T-Rex piss jar, the stealth Spinosaurus with the satellite phone
give-away in that one scene, and the Raptors getting pissed off at Alan trying
to use the 3D printed communicator. I was also pissed off when the T-Rex was
jobbed the way it was by the Spinosaurus because while I can understand making
the Spinosaurus the bigger threat by killing the old big threat, there needs to
be more than 2 minutes of a fight scene.
Now next month, AnimalBoy won the March Madness
Bracket Pick’em back in April and his reward was picking this induction. You
may know there was a whole issue where I got him confused with someone else and
that was why we had the November 2023 induction of Legend Of Hercules and I
made it up to him by doing the February 2024 induction and he had two choices I
could go with. I chose Orca because I actually like that film and would love to
do an induction on a while flawed film, it was a lot of fun. So because he won
again, I have to induct the other film he gave me of those two and that film is
one that I know is bad and it is too silly for me to enjoy. That film is….
Stephen King Wrote This Script And May Have Been On
Cocaine Doing It.
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