Monster
Crap Inductee: Lobster Man From Mars
The
Crappiest Lobster Tale To Date
1989
Folks,
imagine you are a young fan of monster movies and you go to the local video
rental store (way before you whippersnappers were able to stream anything, you
had to either buy or rent a movie or wait until it was on TV if it wasn’t in
theaters), you go to the science fictions section because of course, you are
still too young to rent an R rated movie. In the science fiction section, there
are movies with sane titles like Dark Star, The Andromeda Strain, The Day The
Earth Stood Still and then you see something called Lobster Man From Mars.
Well, if you are someone like me, an insane title like Lobster Man From Mars is
too glorious to pass up.
Well, I
watched that movie and enjoyed it. I liked it so much as a kid that I rented it
several times. Unfortunately, due to lack of being on TV and the death of video
rental stores as well as my curiosity for other movies, it has been a long time
since I saw Lobster Man From Mars, yet always remembered that insane title and
the fact that I liked it. So it’s time to finally go back to watching a movie
from my childhood because I finally was able to get the DVD (which wasn’t easy
to find) as well as win the Monster Crap NFL Pick’em because I doubt many of
you heard of this film to give to me as a induction. But first, some backstory.
In
1979, director Stanley Sheff worked with a famous actor on an unsold TV talk
show and became good friends with him. At some point, this famous actor came up
with a silly idea for a movie and even came up with the title Lobster Man From
Mars. Heck, when the script came together, this famous actor was definitely
going to play the sleazy producer, but sadly….he would pass away in 1986 so
they had to get someone else. Now I’m sure you would never get who came up this
idea because this actor would be known as uptight on acting and film that you
would never think he had a silly side to him. That actor, you ask?
So
because Orson Welles passed before filming could even begin, they had to find
someone else and that someone else was a famous actor who needed $100,000
dollars because he needed to make some child support payments in Tony Curtis.
You
Know, When You Marry Six Times And Have Six Children With Your First Three
Wives, You Are Going To Have To Make Some Child Support Payments.
Then
let’s get to the main cast and since this is not a major studio film, you are
going to have to go with some old connections. At some point, he met Anthony
Hickcox (director of Waxwork, Waxwork 2, and Hellraiser 3) and with Anthony
Hickcox actually acting as the male lead instead of his usual directing, you
could also get Deborah Foreman as the female lead because the two were dating
at the time. Another person Stanley was able to get was Patrick Mcanee, who 80s
English TV viewers may know from a little TV show called The Avengers.
He Was
John Steed
Now who
would be in the costume and makeup for titular character because that’s going
to need to be an actor who would be willing to do it as a first time for
curiosity sake (since most actors who work behind makeup and a costume never
want to do it again since it’s painful). Maybe we could get someone that
watched another actor in a costume who didn’t hate doing it and maybe that
actor could buy something for a dollar.
Yep…Let’s
Get SD Nemeth (Who Sheff Worked With In The Past), Who Is Famously In RoboCop
Saying “I’ll Buy That For A Dollar”.
This
movie may have wanted Vincent Price and originally had him agree to do it, but
by the time they finally got around to starting filming, he was on a cruise
ship so he was unable to make the movie. So instead, they hired a little person
in Billy Barty, who was in such films like Legend, Willow, and the 1987 Masters
Of The Universe movie.
Yep….Gwildor
Is In This Movie
Because
he was available and might have needed the money because the only way he could
do money most of the time was do a different version of his one hit song, let’s
get Bobby Pickett in this film as well.
We Can
All Do The Monster Mash
They
also got two radio personalities to be in the film like Dr. Demento and M.G.
Kelly.
Not
This Asshole As He Wasn’t Born Yet
And to
try and make his act a bigger success, let’s get a goofy comedian named Tommy
Sledge to play his detective type character that he was doing at the same time.
Now as
you may have guessed, there are Monster Crap alumni in this film. Deborah
Foreman was in a film that was in unfinished hell before the Frankenstein
version of the film came out a few years ago.
This is
actually Dean Jacobson’s first film and a few years later, he would be in a
film we talked about here on Monster Crap in Child’s Play 3.
And
with all that said, let’s watch and see if I still enjoy this film.
So we
start this movie in….
Yes, I
Still Miss Tim Curry And Will Always Miss Tim Curry
We get
opening credits and the opening title card.
In The
Same Buring Text That John Carpenter’s The Thing Did (Except The Thing Didn’t
Have Green Or Glitter)
We also
get acting credits rolls with the actor’s heads next to them just in case you
need to be reminded who they are. So we begin the actual movie in a boggy swamp
as our lead heroine Mary is being chased by the Lobster Man.
Whose
Feet We Only See At This Time
She
passes a sign that says Danger: Quicksand.
Unfortunately,
No Quicksand Is Ever Used.
Suddenly,
Mary’s husband John shows up and he gets zapped by the Lobster Man.
Turning
Him Into A Damn Skeleton
As the
Lobster Man approaches, Mary tells the monster to come and get her. It is at
this point, the film reel cuts and we find out that this is part of a movie a
young man named Stevie Horowitz is going to try to get bought by a producer.
Hey,
It’s Better Than Being Blown Up By A Grenade A Killer Toy Threw To The Ground
We then
go to the offices of one Mr. J.P. Shelldrake, who is a big shot Hollywood
producer and seems to be in a pickle.
You See
According To His Financial Guy Named Lou, He Doesn’t Have Immediate Cash And He
Owes The Government More That Four Million Dollars In Taxes.
Lou
comes up with the idea of a film that loses money so they can count it as a tax
write off. J.P. doesn’t like this idea as he does not do movies that lose money,
but unfortunately, they need to find a box office bomb in six days or Mr.
Shelldrake goes to jail.
He
Obviously Freaks Out And Wants To Jump Out A Window
Stevie
comes to the office and hits on the secretary named Tammy, who just humors him.
JP gets
words that Stevie is here to show another one of his directed movies that he
wants J.P. to produce. Normally, J.P. sends Stevie away as he knows his movies
are “bad”, but when you need a box office bomb that loses money so you can get
a tax shelter, well…..go look at a guy’s latest movie who you know is going to
suck. He wakes up the projectionist and has him play Stevie’s film which is
called Lobster Man From Mars.
Most Of
The Movie Will Be This Film That J.P. And Steven Are Watching
We then
go to the planet Mars.
Sadly,
No Cameo By Marvin The Martian
We then
get narration (that is from Dr. Demento) that the oceans began to dry up
billions of years ago and the Martians had to hide underground for survival and
air. A Martian adviser tells the King Of Mars that Mars is losing air.
He Also
Plays This Adviser Known As An Astrologer So Bobby Pickett Is Essentially
Talking To Himself In These Scenes.
The
king decides that he needs to consult the Brainex to find a way to save
Martians from dying via loss of oxygen.
Who
Basically Is A Boglin Toy In A Jar That Needs Subtitles So We Can Know What It
Is Saying. It Is Also Voiced By The Director Himself Making Up A Phony
Language.
Brainex
says the Astrologer exaggerates and they have enough air for 8 more Gorks
(think that means years, but we never know). The king wants to know how they
can avoid being without air and the Brainex says they need to steal air from
the Planet Earth. He also says they only have one Martian for the job and of
course, it is the Lobster Man From Mars that the king and his slaves does not
like.
They
Add Dreaded Just For Effect
They
then do a joke about calling for the Lobster Man that is repeated several times
before the Lobster Man shows up, which horrifies the king’s lady slaves. The
king tells the Lobster Man the situation and at first, the Lobster Man isn’t
interested, but the king says that on Earth, there is no law that says that he
can’t eat the people there so the Lobster Man agrees to do what the king asks
as they shake on it.
With
Green Lobster Man Vision That We’ll See Several Times In This Film
The
king also tells Lobster Man, that to make sure he keeps his end of the deal, he
will also have the Mombo assist him. A martian ship flies off and heads to
Earth.
We go
to Earth in California and a young couple named Mary and John is driving down
the road, heading to John’s uncle’s place, as John got a job working with his
uncle.
Suddenly,
their car breaks down and a UFO also flies right over them.
Being a
young couple, they decide to investigate near a cave where the UFO landed in.
Of
Course, They Used They Famous Bronson Canyon Cave.
Inside
the cave, they find the UFO and decide they need a camera for this.
Young
Whippersnappers, This Was A Camera. You See, We Didn’t Have Cameras On Our Cell
Phones In The 80s So You Needed This To Take Pictures.
They
take pictures and decide to leave, but as they are in the cave, Lobster Man
decides that he should hide in their trunk.
Ah Yes,
The Clever Idea Of Stowing Away In Someone’s Trunk. A Clever Idea If Not For
The Issue Of Not Being Able To Open The Trunk From Inside Or The Issue Of
Someone Opening The Trunk And Seeing Your Ass In There.
They
leave and John doesn’t question at all while the trunk door is closed since he
left it open. We then go to a nearby cocktail bar where Tommy Sledge, P.I. (a
comedic detective character who likes to say things and then say synonyms to
those things) is reading the newspaper and he narrates like a crime detective
back in the day.
He is
also looking at an ad for taking punches and bullets for cash and an ad for a
famous detective school.
Meanwhile,
a bar patron named Rufus asks for a cigarette, which Tommy is nice enough to
give him.
Mary
and John enter and are greeted by the bartender named Zip.
John
says he needs a telephone as they saw a spaceship and Rufus doesn’t believe
them. Zip tells Rufus to hush and directs John to the telephone. Tommy heads
out as John gets no answer from his uncle. John then decides to call the
authorities and gets on the phone with Col. Ankrum, who tells them there are no
such things as aliens, but secretly is getting a unit ready as they know there
is something there.
Outside,
there is a telephone there as well and Tommy decides to call someone.
The
operator makes him turn down the music as we see he has a radio to play his
theme.
A
Really Old Timey Portable Radio That Was Pretty Ancient By The 80s
We see
John leave with Mary upset that the authorities have disregarded his alien
warning. Tommy tells whoever his missus is that he may be late getting back as
he is going to follow John and Mary secretly as he thinks they seem pretty
spooked, which could be interesting for a private investigator to look into.
We see
back in the projection room that J.P. likes the film (he’s just humoring the
kid as he wants a bad film and saying it is a bad film won’t get you the film).
Back at the movie, the car tire goes flat so they have to go by a nearby repair
shop to get it fixed. The couple is directed by the auto mechanic to go to a
nearby motel to get the pictures developed as you see, back then….you needed to
go to a picture place to get pictures made.
By The
Way, Pepsi Product Placement Was Nice To Have Back Then
They
leave and the mechanic opens the trunk and gets attacked by the Lobster Man.
We then
cut back to the bar as Zip is cleaning a plate of spaghetti that wasn’t
finished and Rufus is still hanging around. Zip wants to kick Rufus out for not
buying anything, but Rufus gets an order of coffee and since the coffee is
empty, Zip has to refill it. There is blinking with the light and as Zip comes
back, Rufus is now just a skeleton.
It
takes a minute for Zip to notice and when he does, the Lobster Man decides that
Zip would make a good snack.
Zip Was
Even Nice Enough To Put Coffee Grinds On Him So The Creature Can Get Some
Delicious Caffeine To Stay Awake
We then
go to a TV station as a reporter named Dick Strange reports about what happened
at Zip’s Diner where patrons found the place empty except for two skeletons,
which asks the questions whether aliens killed them or the two skeletons died
from natural causes (yeah, I think you can rule out natural causes).
Mary
and John see this and realize they were at that place a few hours ago. Dick
then interviews Professor Frederich Plocostomos about the supposed alien
attacks and the professor disregards it as impossible to be Martians.
Plocostomos
Believes The Only Thing That Could Survive On Mars Is A Giant Clam
Mary
asks if this may involve what they saw in the desert and Tommy Sledge busts in
from the closet to say that is pretty obvious.
I Bet
Mary Was Disappointed It Wasn’t Big Jim Slade.
He of
course wants to catch the Martians as it would mean big cash for him and then
goes back into the closet. That night, another mechanic eats a burger and
somehow a creature comes out of him.
The
creature flies off. We then go to a random couple at a make out point.
In a
weird moment, the woman tries to make out with the guy, but the guy just wanted
to have a conversation and feels pretty upset that the woman tried to take
advantage of him. The guy decides to take a breather and as the woman waits, the
little creature (which the movie calls a space bat) attacks her.
Hey, That Guy May Not Be Willing To Have Fun, But I'll Happily Replace Him
We go
back to J.P. Shelldrake in the projection theater and he says he can’t stand
the sight of death.
Back to
the movie, Mary and John go to see the developed photos and they are all sadly
blank. John tries to make the radiation excuse as Mary thinks he never opened
the lens cap to the camera. We then go to Col. Ankrum who is play with toy
vehicles.
He gets
a call from the Pentagon to say that his mission to deal with the aliens is a
go, but he must keep it hush-hush. After getting off the phone, he then tells
his associate that they didn’t believe him. Mary and John go back to the car and
the car mechanic who is obviously possessed gives them their keys back and says
they are good to go.
Mary
and John leave as there is no charge for the service, which should have been a
clue that something was up as no mechanic is going to do this one on the house
as there is the diagnostics check and then there is the tire change, along with
other pointless charges. On the road, John says the two need to go to his uncle
as he will obviously explain everything. The car then starts acting on its own
and they have no control over where they are going. They do get followed by Tommy
Sledge. The car takes Mary and John to the park where the Lobster Man shows up.
The couple tries to get away when Mombo shows up. Mombo chases them and tries
to take Mary away.
John
fights Mombo to get him to let Mary go and John gets his ass kicked while Mombo
makes noises like it was Curly from Three Stooges. Mary then takes an air thing
from Mombo’s mask which distracts it enough that the couple are able to escape.
They arrive at Professor Plocostomos’ place and at first, the professor doesn’t
even pay attention to even the fact that this is his nephew or anything else he
says. He then sees them and realizes it is his nephew and is happy to see him
and his wife Mary. He still thinks they are giant clams, but Mary says that one
of them was a gorilla and the other was a man who looked like a lobster. The
professor says his theory was correct (although he got the wrong species of shellfish)
as he only thought something with a tough hide could survive the atmospheric
pressure on Mars and he will get a Nobel Prize for sure.
The
first reel of the film is finished and Stevie asks J.P. what he thinks of his
film and so far, J.P. says he likes it (although again, we know he is lying). We
then go back to the movie as the Lobster Man starts scaring girls out of locker
rooms.
Yep….Lobster
Man Has An Attraction To Earth Women, It Seems.
Although
A Big Black Woman With A Baseball Bat Does Chase His Creepy Ass Away.
Suddenly,
the clown known as Nose-O shows up.
Seems
Someone Also Likes Bozo The Clown
Or Not
As Nose-O Gets Turned Into A Skeleton By The Lobster Man.
Nose-O
getting killed upsets Plocostomos and he now is going to call the authorities.
John tries to say they already did that and it failed, but the professor has a
bit more clout so he calls. He hears that Col. Ankrum isn’t there as he is
already heading to the alien ship’s landing place. Ankrum only got a small unit
with him so the professor says he doesn’t stand a chance against The Lobster
Man From Mars.
Title
Drop
We then
see that Col. Ankrum and his associate Sgt. Schwartz are there.
Ankrum
sends Schwartz in and Schwartz gets killed pretty quickly.
Back in
the projection room, J.P. says he wants to see every frame. In the movie, the
Space Bat shows up and harasses Ankrum.
And
Ankrum Shoots It Down.
Plocostomos
calls for Skipper Bruce and tells him to come to the lab. Skipper Bruce is the
best lobster fisherman that the professor knows and he thinks that fisherman
will take care of the Lobster Man. A knock at the door and it is Ankrum with
the skeleton of Schwartz.
Ankrum
gives him the carcass of the Space Bat, or it would be the carcass if the Space
Bat was actually dead and not able to regenerate (it’s not dead and can
regenerate). Skipper Bruce shows up and Mary leaves as she’s been asked to make
tea for everyone.
Even
Does The Damn Scratching Of The Board That Quint Does In Jaws
Skipper
Bruce definitely thinks he can catch the Lobster Man. They both investigate the
Space Bat and Plocostomos gets some black ink sprayed on him.
The
Space Bat starts waking up and it starts harassing everyone in the room.
They
try using space liquid, fire, fire extinguishers, a broom, and a net and none
of it works. It ends up biting and killing Skipper Bruce.
Mary
shows up with the tea and freaks out, breaking the tea cups and getting the tea
on the creature. Surprisingly, it turns out the tea kills the Space Bat.
They
then send Mary back to get some more tea (in a rather chauvinistic way) and
reveal that extremely hot water kills the creature, which means it will kill
the Lobster Man too. They try to figure out how to get enough hot water to kill
the Lobster Man and Plocostomos explains that they should try to capture it by
setting a trap at the haunted house run by Mr. Thockmorton. Colonel Ankrum says
he is giving them 12 hours and if that doesn’t work, he is blowing up this
haunted house with the Lobster Man inside. Mary comes in with tea and calls
them out for being chauvinist pigs.
Deservedly
So….
Oh and
apparently, there is another space bat that shows up to see them planning.
The
creature then reports their plans to Brainex.
The
Space Bats Are Also Voiced By The Director
Plocostomos,
Mary, and John go to the Thockmorton mansion and we find out the history of
this house was that it was built over an old Eskimo graveyard (which
considering the Inuit tribe (what they called back them Eskimos, which is now
looked down upon) lived very further up north, is impossible)).
They go
to the house and are greeted by the butler.
Ankrum
shows up to warn Plocostomos that they only have 2 hours now. Wait….did it
really take them 10 hours to go to this mansion or did they just screw around
for several hours? Who the hell knows and this movie obviously doesn’t care to
answer us. Oh and we get stock footage of troops mounting up.
And To
Show This Is A Parody, All The Stock Footage Is In Black And White
We then
finally meet Mr. Throckmorton.
He lets
the professor, Mary, and John in as
Tommy Sledge is looking on from a window with his narration talking about
hunches.
Maybe I
Should Go In Too…
They
then do a séance for some reason.
Oh This
Whole Haunted Séance Shit Is A Scam
Plocostomos
tries to ask a question, but before the “spirit” can answer, Mombo kidnaps the
butler, who will never be seen again. Plocostomos asks to use the house for
some experiments in the hot springs, but the voice of the Lobster Man answers
back and says they will not live long enough to do any experiments. He opens
the door and we see his face as he kills Thockmorton.
The
Lobster Man laughs and suddenly, the film reel has a break.
J.P.
tells Stevie to not worry about it as the projectionist is a genius with burnt
film. The projectionist fixes the film rather quickly and the movie continues. John
and the professor run outside, but Mary is grabbed by the Lobster Man.
John
realizes that Mary is still in there, but it is too late as Ankrum has the
building blown up.
John
weeps, thinking his wife is dead. They all start to mourn when Tommy Sledge
shows up and reveals that this whole bombing mission was a complete dud as lobster
tracks show that the Lobster Man escaped.
Title
Drop, Again
We then
go to the cave where the Lobster Man has Mary chained up.
She
demands he unchain her and he says he will not as she will run if he does. She
promises she won’t and he is okay with that and has Mombo release her. She then
asks if he is from Mars, which he confirms and calls it an unfortunate planet.
She asks why he would call it unfortunate and Lobster Man goes into a story
about how Mars lost a lot of its air after getting its ass kicked in a war with
the Bunny Men From Neptune. He basically says that he wants her to let the
earthlings know that he just wants Earth to leave him alone in his cave and
afterwards, he will leave peacefully. She buys all of this and he lets her
leave.
As she
leaves, he confirms that was all a lie and he will make them all a last supper
when they come back. In the projection booth, we find out that the guy in the
Mombo suit is played by Stevie’s Uncle
Joey and apparently, he had a brain operation. Back to the movie, Ankrum,
Plocostomos, and John still are looking for Mary while Tommy is a distance
behind. They find Mary and she tells them that the Lobster Man is not evil.
Plocostomos
hears about the air and realizes that is what the Lobster Man wants, which is
our air as he suspected that Mars has experienced air leakage. He then reveals
that he is sure the Lobster Man is here to steal our air.
Oh
No….Those Martians Are Stealing Our Brilliant Idea
The
professor basically says that he will lure them back to the cave and eat them
after stealing all the air so we have to stop him. In the cave, the Lobster Man
figures out that his lie probably didn’t work so he is going to go eat them
now. Ankrum is ready to shoot the professor for saying “Screw the army”, but
the Lobster Man shows up and Ankrum tries to shoot him instead. They then try
to run to the vehicle to get away, but the Martian shoots the car.
They
retreat and find another vehicle from some campers named Lester and Vicki.
They
want to use that vehicle, but Lester says no. They steal the vehicle as the
Lobster Man and Mombo drive in the vehicle they shot at (I see the gun does
nothing to vehicles). He leaves Sgt. Goldberg behind to protect Lester and
Vicki and says that if he makes it alive, he will be recommended for a
citation.
After
they leave, Goldberg goes to the two campers and says they need to hide. They
follow him as the Lobster Man and Mombo show up. Lester wonders who the hell
that was and Goldberg says that was The Lobster Man From Mars.
Third
Title Drop
Our
good guys drive and we see they are driving into Yellowstone Park.
The
vehicle the good guys are in stops and we find out it is overheated. Plocostomos
has an idea. We then see Mary left behind to meet with the Lobster Man. The
Lobster Man reveals that almost everything he said to Mary was a lie.
Mombo
goes to seize Mary, but Plocostomos and Ankrum come in with a hose connected to
the engine and spray hot water onto Mombo, which kills it.
And
Yes, That Is A Stupid Chattering Teeth Toy
After
killing Mombo, everyone decides to run and the Lobster Man decides to chase
Mary. We then go back to the beginning of the movie where we saw Mary getting
chased by the Lobster Man. John shows up and at some point gets turned into a
skeleton.
Of
Course, I’m Showing The Same Image From Earlier….No Need To Waste Another
Picture On The Same Thing
Mary
then tells the Lobster Man to come and get her and we see that she is behind a
hole in the ground. Oh and that hole in the ground is supposed to be Old
Faithful.
That Is
Old Faithful
Anyway,
the Lobster does not go around the hole and gets sprayed when he is on top of
the basin.
That’s
A Pathetic Spray
And
That Is Oddly A Lobster Man Toy That Was Never Sold
The
Lobster Man has a pretty gory death before being turned into nothing.
Ankrum
says the geyser got the Lobster Man, but Plocostomos says it was because the
Lobster Man got to crabby that killed him. They all mourn over the death of
John and it looks like the movie is about to end, but Tommy shows up to
continue the film.
He's Still Here
Mary is
tired of his schtick and she walks off. Ankrum also is tired of Tommy’s
schtick, but he continues as Mary looks over the skeleton. We get what looks
like another ending, but its another fake out as John gets resurrected somehow.
It
actually turns out that everyone who is killed by the Lobster Man’s gun and
turned into a skeleton gets resurrected including Rufus, Skip, Mr. Throckmorton,
and most importantly….
YAY……NOSE-O
THE CLOWN LIVES!!!!
Oh And
I Guess The House Gets Somehow Put Together Too Despite Being Blown Up By The
Army And Not The Lobster Man
Oh
Well…..Plot Hole
We then
get the true happy ending of the movie within a movie as Mary and John kiss
while “Old Fairthful” goes off again.
We go
back to the projection room and we see that J.P. Shelldrake is happy because he
thinks he has found his movie that will bomb and save him from getting arrested
for tax crimes.
He lies
and says it is the greatest movie he has ever seen. He tells Stevie that he
will happily release this film and then asks about the phone number for the
leading lady (as I’m sure in his mind, he will at least find one actor from
this film to use for future films or sadly, use her on the infamous casting
couch as plenty of sleazy producers do).
May You
Rot In Hell When Your Time Comes
He
sends Stevie to meet his accountant and get done whatever paperwork is needed
so they can release this film. Stevie leaves and J.P. calls Lou to say their
tax worries are over. We then go to maybe a few months later and we find out
Lobster Man From Mars ends up being a huge ass hit and not the box office bomb
that J.P. needed it to be. We then go to J.P. Shelldrake as Lou the accountant
tells him that two IRS agents are waiting to arrest him. J.P. asks him and secretary
Tammy to help him, which they say….
Nah…..
We then
find out afterwards that Stevie Horowitz is now the new top producer of the
company and he and Tammy are in a relationship.
Oh Yeah
And The Sequel Will Be Lobster Man In The Circus
We then
go to credits with a version of the B52’s Rock Lobster playing.
So that
was Lobster Man From Mars and as I can’t find any box office numbers, I have a
feeling this was a straight to video release although I do know this cost
$750,000 to make. As far as aftermath goes, no one went on to do bigger things
and some like Deborah Foreman (who played Mary) eventually just quit acting for
a long time.
Sadly…
HOLD
IT!!!
What????
You seem
to have forgotten The Queen Of Mars in that Mars scene.
Which
one of the women was she?
She Was The
One In Front Of The King With That Crown On. That’s Miss Ava Fabian.
I’ve
never heard of her. Let me go look at IMDB and……oh Goddammit.
Porno
Pete: Yeah, She
Was In Several Episodes Of Erotic Confessions.
Get the
hell out of here!!
*Porno
Pete leaves*
Now
where was I?
Sadly
however, there are several people who have left us since this film came out.
Skip Young (who was the bartender Zip) died in 1993 at the age of 63 after
suffering a heart attack brought on by complications from diabetes. Fred
Holliday (who played Colonel Ankrum) passed away in 1995 at the age of 59 after
suffering a heart attack. Billy Barty (who played Mr. Throckmorton) passed away
in 2000 at the age of 76 from heart failure. Bobby Pickett (who played both The
Astrologer and The King Of Mars) left this mortal coil in 2007 at the age of 69
from leukemia. Tony Curtis (who played J.P. Shelldrake) passed away in 2010 at
the age of 85 after suffering a cardiopulmonary arrest. Patrick Macanee (who
played Professor Plocostomos) left this mortal coil in 2015 at the age of 93.
Janice Gaye (who was married at one point to Marvin Gaye and played Chef Lola) died
in 2022 at the age of 66. Anthony Hickox (who played John) died in 2023 at the
age of 64.
So you
can probably guess why I love this movie. It has everything a weird monster
movie needs with an insane title, everyone going into this gimmick as a comedy
(but trying to say their dialogue straight), and the effects are awesome. Yes,
I know Anthony Hickox is not much of a leading man, this is kind of an idea The
Producers did back in the day, and it is at times slow. I still have a
nostalgic love for this film and I always will, especially for the ridiculous
ass title.
Now
this is the end of my summer of fun inductions so now we have to go to October
and I will be doing a Sam Neill film that you all chose. And what film did you
all choose? Actually, there was a tie. So the next induction will have to be Part
1 of a two part Sam Neill tribute in inductions. Part 2 will sadly be in January
or February depending on the GINO Award Winner. So the induction this month
will be a certain sequel where Sam Neill returns as the character most people
know him for, but the movie is sadly bad enough that there wasn’t another film
in the franchise for 7 years (and even then, they changed the name). I think
you all know what it is.
