Monster Crap Inductee: Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021 GINO Award Winner)

Monster Crap Inductee: Space Jam: A New Legacy

Despite Not Appearing In The Film, This Film Has All The Smell Of Pepe Le Pew

2021 GINO Award Winner

Let’s talk about Space Jam.

In 1996, a famous Nike commercial with Bugs Bunny and NBA legend Michael Jordan was spun off into a full movie where Michael Jordan (fresh into his first retirement from basketball) was summoned by Bugs and the rest of the Looney Tunes to save them from being slaves to aliens via a basketball game. The film had a great soundtrack and is still the highest grossing basketball movie of all time. I’ll be honest, the film isn’t that great and isn’t critically loved with a 45% on Rotten Tomatoes. However, the film still has a lot of love from kids of the 90s.

Immediately, Warner Bros. wanted to do a sequel, but they had one HUGE problem. Michael Jordan did not want to return. Warner Brothers had several ideas and one of those was Spy Jam with the Looney Tunes and Jackie Chan, but of course Jackie left production. That didn’t stop Warner Bros. who continued with the film and ultimately created Looney Tunes: Back In Action

Oh, I Will Be Inducting That Failure Of A Film Some Day, But Let’s Just Say This Film Completely Bombed And The Idea Of Doing Theatrical Films With The Looney Tunes Was Dead Afterwards.

But 20 years later, Warner Bros. decided to give a sequel to Space Jam another shot and since they definitely couldn’t get Michael Jordan to return (nor should they have since Jordan has long since finally retired from basketball) so let’s get the next best thing in Lebron James.

Drafted out of high school in 2003, Lebron James has become the best basketball player playing today with 4 MVPs, 10 NBA finals appearances and 4 NBA titles with 3 teams in the Cleveland Cavaliers, Miami Heat, and Los Angeles Lakers. He has his own entertainment studios in SpringHill Entertainment, has acted before in films like Trainwreck, and while Michael Jordan has been criticized for his lack of activism for good causes, Lebron has done a lot to make up for that and has also endorsed politicians.

I am going to keep my personal opinions of Lebron James out of this induction because I am inducting the movie and not reviewing the basketball player in any way. But before this movie even begins, problems were of course underway. The first being director. Originally they had Justin Lin to direct, but then he left to do F9: The Fast Saga and the upcoming Fast & Furious 10. Then they had Terrence Nance as director, but during production, he left after having lots of issues with the studio heads. Then they finally got Michael D Lee, director of The Best Man, Undercover Brother, Scary Movie V, The Best Man Holliday, Barbershop: The Next Cut, Girls Trip, and of course the last movie he did before this, Night School.

The next problem was with dealing with a certain Looney Tune in Pepe Le Pew. You see, Pepe Le Pew’s whole schtick was that he was lustfully chasing a female alley cat who he mistakes for a female skunk because she somehow gets a stripe on her back and tail due to a painting accident. And even worse, he chases this female and tries forcing himself on her despite the fact that she has NO desire to be with this smelly skunk.

In This Day And Age, This Character’s Schtick Is Unacceptable So Despite What Idiots In The Cancel Culture Debate Might Think, He Really Needs To Go.

Finally, there is the problem of Lola Bunny. No, this has nothing to do with the fact that Lola Bunny is now flat chested because quite honestly, if you have a problem with the designs of a CARTOON RABBIT, then I don’t know what to tell you. But instead, this is actually some screwing up of the voice for Lola. You see, they actually got Kath Soucie for Lola Bunny originally and had all her dialogue recorded. But for some reason, the studio decided that we need a name actress to voice Lola Bunny and hey, Zendaya is available so let’s just dub all of those lines with her now as Lola Bunny.

But without further ado, let’s get to the movie itself and why it was clearly voted to be the 2021 GINO Award Winner.

We start this movie with Young Lebron and his mom outside of a game that Lebron is going to play

Lebron’s mom tells him she has to work a second shift so they can live so she will not be able to be at his basketball game tonight and his head coach (who she trusts obviously) will be the one to take him home after the game. Young Lebron understands all of this and the two do a secret handshake before they part ways for tonight.

Now we get to something that is going to plague this film. That is that the names of Lebron’s family has been completely changed. Lebron’s real mom’s name is Gloria James and the mom’s name in this movie (via the credits) is Shanice James. Say what you will about the fact that in the original Space Jam, none of his family played themselves in the film besides Michael Jordan, but at least they got the family’s names right. Only two reasons they could do this is 1) Lebron did not want them using his family’s real names or 2) some dumbass script writer told Lebron that his family’s names aren’t good enough and they need to be changed. I hope it is that first one because that second one is quite disturbing, but why would you do this when a simple Google or Wikipedia search could tell you this stuff.

Lebron is sitting down in the bleachers because they don’t have seats yet with his Looney Tunes bookbag. We then find out that this is 1998 in Akron, Ohio.

His friend Malik shows up with a Game Boy.

The game in the Game Boy is Bugs Bunny’s Crazy Castle and Lebron starts playing it.

Okay, Problem To Anyone Who Played That Type Of Game Boy Knows Exactly Where This Is Going. That Model Of Game Boy Did Not Have Color So The Pixels Looked Nothing Like That.

Game Boy Screens Had Very Few Colors And They Looked Nothing Like What Was Shown In The Movie Here. That’s Just Pure Laziness To Miss Something So Simple.

Even Worse, A Brief Second Later, They Freaking Know This As They Show What The Actual Game Boy Screen Looks Like.

Lebron’s head coach gets upset that Lebron is getting distracted by the game and tells him to come to the huddle so they can play basketball.

So we now go to 17 seconds left in the basketball game and Lebron’s team is down by one. Coach tells the team to give the ball to Lebron for the final shot. Lebron takes the shot at the buzzer and…

It Bounces Off The Rim. Lebron’s Team Loses.

Lebron is upset as his head coach tries to raise the team’s spirit despite the loss. Later, Lebron’s coach talks to him and tells him he is more upset that his head wasn’t 100% in the game than he is that Lebron missed the shot. He tells Lebron that he is the best player he has ever seen and he needs to be 100% always in the game if he wants to make it to be the best and give him and his mom a better life. Afterwards, Lebron throws the Game Boy in the trash.

Now I am sure the coach said all of that is because he wants Lebron to reach his potential and get his family a better life since as we saw earlier, his mom has to work two shifts to take care of the family and there is no mention of a father as in real life, there wasn’t one for Lebron. That’s what you could make of this, but Lebron is going to make of this through most of this film is you need to do one thing in life and nothing else.

We then go to opening credits that shows a montage of the success Lebron James has from high school to the pros (even saying Lebron’s mom’s real name in the montage so why the hell they changed it to Shanice makes no sense whatsoever).

And At The End, We Get The Opening Title Screen

In the Lebron James mansion, Darius James is playing basketball while Dominic “Dom” James is playing video games (Lebron’s sons real names are Lebron “Bronny” James Jr. and Bryce James)

Dom is playing a video game that we learn later he created himself as Darius is talking to him. We also find out that Dom James wants to do the E3 video game camp coming up, but hasn’t told his dad yet about that. Darius and Dom play a little basketball and Darius is obviously better. They are laughing, but in comes now adult Lebron James being an asshole to his kids and being upset that they are not taking basketball seriously.

In This Film, Lebron Is That Dad.

Lebron tells the kids that everything on this court is not fun, but work and he needs to work. Lebron shows the game and is upset at Dom for being more focused on that than basketball. They made Lebron into this basketball dad just because his coach told Lebron he needed to be 100% in the game to make a better life for him and his mom. Lebron’s mom didn’t have a good life so Lebron needed to work harder to get the better life for them. His kids won’t need that because guess what, their dad is Lebron James. It’s lazy because Lebron does this and doesn’t even mention to his kids that they can’t live off his name to get ahead (something you would normally hear from that kid of successful father who wants his kids to follow in his footsteps whether they want to or not).

Anyway, after Lebron is done brow beating his son over his lack of basketball care and that Lebron also put Dom in basketball camp next weekend (despite the E3 camp being the same time), his wife Kamiyah and his daughter Xosha show up to tell them all that dinner is ready and it is spaghetti and meatballs (Lebron’s wife and youngest daughter’s real names are Savannah and Zhuri). Lebron is happy about spaghetti and meatballs as the scene ends.

After some pictures of this fake family, Kamiyah gets on Lebron for being too hard on Dom and Lebron not thinking that at all. Also, Lebron only thinks about basketball and his wife clues him in that Dom may be interested in something else that isn’t basketball. Kamiyah mentioned that Dom made his own video game and he is 12 years old. Lebron tries to say something about basketball, but Kamiyah tells Lebron that Dom doesn’t need a coach, he needs a dad. Of course, a good scriptwriter could bring up that Lebron didn’t have a dad so he isn’t 100% best equipped to be one for his own kids, but we don’t have good script writing here.

We then go to Burbank, California where Warner Bros. Studios is.

Including That Iconic Water Tower

We go inside the main building and inside the computers to the Warner Bros. Serververse.

That Name Is So Stupid

There, we meet our main villain of this movie, Al G. Rhythm.

Oh Don Cheadle, You Deserve Better….And You Were Like The Fifth Choice For This Role (Jack Nicholson Was Too Expensive While Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Hart, And Keith David All Just Declined). Also Get It…..It’s A Play On Algorithm. Yeah, It Sucks.

He is watching all of Lebron James’ clips and thinks Jamesis like himself, a king. And a king is perfect for what he needs to be finally recognized for his greatness.

We Also Meet His Underling, Pete

Al sends an email to a Warner Bros. executive, played by famed comedian Sarah Silverman. 

She is interested and then we head back to Lebron’s mansion where we see Dom doing stuff to make his video game (that we now know is called Dom Ball) better like drawing character models and putting them in the game and lots of coding. He also sees the email for the E3 Game Design Camp that he wants to attend. Lebron comes to his room and listens to his son as he discusses the game he made. Lebron and Dom play test the game and when Lebron tries a simple move, the game glitches out and Dom’s character gets eliminated from the game, which upsets Dom since it will take him an entire week to rebuild it.

Video Game Making Is Very Hard, Folks. But Then, Better People Than I Can Tell You That Easy Information Nugget.

Lebron comforts his son and tells him that setbacks happen as adversity is part of the process. Lebron then says that he has some meeting with Warner Bros. about some high tech thing and he wants to take Dom along for the ride as he listens to this. Dom accepts and the two head to Warner Bros. studios. The pitch is from an animated version of Al G. Rhythm

To shorten the presentation, Al wants Lebron to be set up into the Serververse so the Warner 3000 (that’s the name of the app he has in mind) can put Lebron James in any Warner Bros. property like Batman, Game of Thrones, and Harry Potter.

Here is a huge problem with this idea. Why would any algorithm think that just adding Lebron James into anything would make the experience better and get any recognition? I mean, Lebron is the biggest basketball player in the world right now. For something like that to work, you would need someone from their period of time like Hulk Hogan in the mid-80s, Michael Jordan in the mid-90s, or Tiger Woods in the late-90s to the mid-00s. No disrespect as this is an extremely rare thing for any athlete or celebrity to do and Lebron just isn’t that big. The biggest athletes in the world right now are Lionel Messi and Christian Ronaldo and they aren’t even there. So sorry, this just doesn’t work and if this script went to anyone worth a damn, they would tell you that.

We also meet Lebron’s agent, who is Malik all grown up.

We also meet another Warner Bros. executive who is with Sarah Silverman, played by Steven Yeun.

Most People May Know Him As Glenn From The Walking Dead, But He Is Probably One Of The Best Asian American Actors Today As He Is The First Asian American Actor To Be Nominated For An Oscar For Best Actor For His Role In Minari.

He Also Might Murder Your Ass While In Dress Clothes In The Work Place So You Better Be Careful

After the pitch is over and they ask for Lebron’s thoughts, he comes out and says he hates the idea and calls it one of the worst ideas he has ever heard. In fact, he furthers things by calling the algorithm who came up with this idea dumb, which pisses off Al as he is listening the whole time. The executives then also two face as while they originally liked the idea, they reversed and said it is dumb.

Don Cheadle Might Just Kill A Mother Fucker And Considering He Is War Machine In The Marvel Cinematic Universe, He Could Easily Do So As The Guy Who Controls All The Machines Here. In Fact, Al G Getting Pissed And Becoming Skynet Here Would Be Awesome As Hell.

But during this interview, Dom shows off his game and finally reveals to his dad that he wants to go to the E3 Game Design Camp and not basketball camp, which upsets Lebron. Dom says that he doesn’t want to be like his dad in basketball and leaves with Lebron chasing after him. Meanwhile, Al has a plan to get revenge, which we won’t find out yet as we need to go back to Lebron and Dom.

Lebron chases Dom to the elevator where Lebron is insistent that Dom go to basketball camp instead of the E3 thing and Dom is correct in thinking his dad doesn’t care what he wants. Unbeknownst to them, Al has hacked the elevator to send them to the floor where the computer mainframe is at. Dom is interested and is allowed in by Al. He then gets zapped in as Lebron watches in horror.

Lebron runs to where Dom got zapped and he also gets zapped.

Lebron finds Dom, but now they are stuck in the computers and Lebron freaks, making a claustrophobic joke because computers are small, not realizing that cyberspace (or the Serververse) is like the Tardis in Doctor Who where it is bigger inside than it is outside. Also yes, being in Cyberspace is the excuse for why this film is called Space Jam: A New Legacy.

They then meet Al, who first appears like the fake version of The Wizard from The Wizard of Oz before becoming Don Cheadle again.

Man, Don Is Trying Here And He Seems Like An Okay Villain Now, But Stay With Us As This Villain Gets Lame.

Lebron wants to know what is going on and wants Al here to return the famous basketball player and his son to the real world. As he is saying this, Dom disappears and Lebron is super upset. Al then reveals that he saw Lebron’s thoughts on his idea and is pissed that Lebron rejected him like that so now, Lebron is gonna have to play him in a little team basketball game in this Serververse and if Lebron wins, Al will let them go, but if Al wins, Lebron and Dom will stay here….

Yeah, I May Have Done A Better Joke Than What They Did With Multiple Als Saying “Forever…And Ever…And Ever” With Pete’s Facial Features. Sadly, The Sandlot Is Now Owned By Disney So Warner Bros. Couldn’t Do That Amazing Joke.

You see, Al’s plan here is that with this game and all of Lebron’s followers watching, he will finally be recognized for his genius. He then places Lebron in a place where he considers the rejects at, which is Tune World.

Lebron goes past multiple planets representing multiple Warner properties which is just showing off here.

Lebron finally lands in Tune World

Nice Nike Logo Joke

Lebron is now a cartoon

Had To Fix His Hair And Facial Hair To The Right Spots

And like a cartoon if you fall from a great distance, your legs are gone so you are just your head, abdomen, and feet after you recover from landing.

Lebron Making A Kevin Hart Height Joke, Which Would Even Be More Hilarious If Kevin Hart Was Playing Al G Rhythm

Lebron uses his thumb to blow his body back to normal size like you do in cartoon world.

Lebron finds a nearby court with a timer above.

He sees that the world of the Looney Tunes is barren with only himself and someone else there right now. That other Looney Tune is of course, Bugs Bunny.

Lebron is first freaked out, but is then happy to see that it is Bugs Bunny who is a hero to Lebron. We then get a bit of Duck Season, Rabbit Season and Bugs being the Big Chingus Meme.

Big Chingus Was A Meme Of Bugs Bunny Looking Like A Fat Elmer Fudd Which Was Done In An Earlier Cartoon When Elmer Fudd Was Fat. It Caught On A Few Years Ago For God Knows Why, Which Can Be Said For Many Memes.

More Looney Tunes bit like painting tunnels that one person can enter and the other person cannot since it is a wall (a bit WWE tried to do more than 10 years ago for some reason and it was a total failure), a bit normally done by Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner where they mention who they are and some joke species classification, a TNT joke about the channel and the dynamite,

Might As Well Mention AEW’s Wednesday Wrestling Show Which Originally Was On TNT And Is Now On TBS Due To Hockey. Why, Because I Like The Show.

And then falling off a cliff which they survive because they are cartoons and Lebron looking like a ball before getting a pump in his mouth to reinflate his whole body.

Lebron asks Bugs how long he has been alone and Bugs says he isn’t alone, going to Barber of Seville and talking to a fake Porky Pig (who is really just pumpkins) and when Lebron reveals Al G. Rhythm kidnapped his son and is forcing him to play the basketball game, Bugs revealed that Al coaxed the rest of the Looney Tunes to leave and go to other worlds that Al said were better. Bugs gets drunk in a saloon with carrot juice until Lebron reveals he needs to assemble a basketball team to play Al’s squad so he can get his son back and return home. Bugs then thinks the idea of Bugs playing with a basketball player against a nefarious team sounds familiar.

Lebron confirms this after wondering who Bugs is talking to and Bugs comes up with a plan. He then does a bit he usually did with Marvin The Martian to get Marvin and his dog to arrive on their spaceship.

Bugs uses this idea to try and steal Marvin’s ship, but Lebron kind of blabs the plan which pisses Marvin off to reveal his ray gun that he sets to Anti-Gravity Ray. He first shoots Lebron and then Bugs reverses the shot on him so Marvin gets hit. Bugs gets Lebron into the ship and the Lebron hitting his head joke is done and they leave on the space ship.

I Want To Warn You Now That All That Stuff In Tune World Is The Best Part Of This Whole Movie….And We Have One Hour And 23 Minutes Left. Yeah, Lord Help Us.

Back at the center point of the Serververse, Al is talking with Dom and lies about his dad leaving him behind to form a basketball team against Al, stating Lebron has a history of leaving (mentioning his NBA career that some people always have to mention, as they should). When Dom asks who built all this, Al dresses like Steve Jobs to basically say he did.

Al then butters him up talking about how great his video game looks and tries to pretend to be someone who listens to Dom (while secretly planning to steal the game for himself). He also talks Dom into short cuts which are here in the Serververse (something many people say you shouldn’t take when getting ahead).

On the spaceship, Bugs pretends he is Captain Kirk from Star Trek (a property of Paramount’s). Lebron talks about all the players he needs for his team like King Kong, Superman, and Iron Giant (a joke about him always wanting a super team around him in the NBA). Bugs decides (without telling Lebron) to get all his friends back. He first goes to grab Daffey Duck and Porky Pig from Metropolis World As Daffey, with Porky’s help, tries to stop an out of control train from hitting an orphanage so he can join the Justice League as Super Duck, but not before we get a joke about Lebron wanting to be Batman while some see him as a Robin, which he hates.

Oh by the way, it’s pretty clear that Daffy and Porky tied up and gagged the train conductor while hijacking the train to do this audition.

Daffy pulls to hard and breaks the brake lever so it is definitely a runaway train.

But This Train Is Thankfully Coming Back, Right?

Yes, it will be if controlled. Bugs and Lebron confront the two, but they don’t have enough time to stop the train from hitting the orphanage, but someone else does.

Superman….Who Along With Several Other Members Of The Justice League, Is Not Amused.

Daffy and Porky join the crew as Lebron still wants his super team, but Bugs gets more Looney Tunes back by going to Mad Max World to get Roadrunner and Wile Coyote.

And For Some Reason, Nasty Canasta Is Here To, But He Doesn’t Get Taken Back.

Then we get one of the worst transitions I have ever seen.

WTF!!!!!

We go to Austin Power World To Get Elmer Fudd and Sylvester.

Don’t Worry….Sylvester Gets His Fur Back

We then go to Casablanca World (where the scene with Pepe Le Pew was also going to be involved before he was axed before animation took place) where Yosemite Sam is.

They somehow get the Tasmanian Devil or Taz back as they were thrown on the ship by Rick and Morty, who did not like him being around them.

They then get Foghorn Leghorn who is somehow on a dragon being Daenarys Targaryen.

Hell If I Know Why

They also get Gossamer, who has a scene in the comic book version of this film where he was in Scooby Doo World, but was never animated.

Maybe I Should Ask Linkara To Review That…

Then Again, I Guess Not.

Daffy and Bugs says they are missing veteran leadership so the ship goes to Matrix World where Speedy Gonzalez and Granny are at.

Speedy I Understand Being Here, But Granny…..Only Reason She Is Here Is Because Of A Scene Later In The Movie.

We also find Tweety, who was in Slyvester this whole time.

Yet Was Never Digested

Lebron is upset because none of this is the team he wanted. Lebron says he needs one real ball player on his team and Bugs knows he has to get Lola Bunny, who is in Themyscira trying to be an Amazon

Rosario Dawson Voices Wonder Woman Here As She Has Voiced Wonder Woman In The Past.

Now I’m sure many of you may wonder about my feelings on Zendaya voicing Lola Bunny. Honestly, besides being a dick move by Warner Bros. to Katie Socie, she isn’t terrible at the role. And I understand why Zendaya took the role when offered as she wanted to work with Ryan Coogler (director of Black Panther who is a producer on this film) and she grew up in a Basketball family with both parents having played basketball (not pro though). She was also a huge Looney Tunes fan and loved the first Space Jam movie so I will not be giving Zendaya any grief about being in this movie or her performance other than to say she was wasted.

Back to the movie, Lola Bunny goes through the trials to be an Amazon and almost completes the trial, but comes up short after having to save Bugs and Lebron from falling into lava, which the two almost did while pestering Lola her entire run. Lola is dejected about coming up short, but Wonder Woman tells her saving people is also what makes an Amazon and she gets the honor before being told to help Lebron get his son back.

While all of this is going on, Dom and Al are playing Dom’s game while creating characters. We see that during a basketball charity that Lebron did, Dom was able to get character models of Diana Taurasi, Klay Thompson, Anthony Davis, Damian Lillard, and Nneka Ogwumike, stars in the NBA and WNBA.

Although It Is Funny That Sue Bird, Draymond Green, And A’ja Wilson Were Also There And He Didn’t Get Models Of Them.

Al also finds out that this app game Dom has made can scan people into the game world using their own phones, which makes him have bigger plans. Al then puts more dissension on Dom saying his dad doesn’t support him. Al then has an idea of Dom playing for his team and beating Lebron as the ultimate show of “I want to do my own thing”. Al then has Pete set up a planned game where it is father vs son as Lebron takes on Dom.

We see Lebron trying to coach up his team. Sam shoots the ball his own way.

Good Chuckle….

Lots of Looney Tunes bits that Lebron hates as it isn’t basketball and he just wants to have them play simple basketball without the Looney stuff.

Lebron Is No Fun

Back at Warner Bros. Studios, Malik is getting guff from the security guard.

It’s Black Jesus…Without The Hair

Malik gets a call from Kamiyah who is wondering where Lebron and Dom are. He tries to lie saying Lebron and Dom are doing something, but Kamiyah shows up in a car with Darius and Xosha and wants to know where they are.

Back with Al and Dom and it is time for Dom’s character to get an upgrade. How big of an upgrade, you ask? Well, all his stats are at 100.

Al Teaching Him All The Shortcuts In Video Games. I Wonder If He Taught Him The Contra Code Yet Or The Mario 3 Whistle.

Dom has finally been upgraded and he now has a darker hoodie to show him joining the dark side

We see all of Dom’s new skills like better dribbling, jumping, and shooting. Al then convinces Dom to create his teammates. Some of the customizations involve mixing Diana Taurasi with a snake.

Scary….But Still Not As Scary As….

Ahh…..Stop Doing That, Dakota Fanning

Back at Warner Bros. Studios, the rest of Lebron’s family along with Malik find out about the basketball game that is going to happen. Kamayah also says that since the tweet about the game was sent from Lebron’s phone, then she can track him with her phone. 

Lebron and the Looney Tunes head back to Tune World to practice. We see Lebron writing his family’s names on his shoes and he says he does that to remind him who he is playing for. Lebron shows Bugs a fundamental play that he always likes to do and Bugs Bunny does an MC Hammer joke because of the “fancy footwork”.

Lame….

Lebron says that this is his court so it needs to be his rules and reiterates that when they play this game, no Looney stuff should be used. Bugs and Lebron start to have an argument, but Lola notices the timer is going down quickly. It goes to zero and the timer digitizes into a giant basketball court that everyone has to run away so they don’t get crushed by it.

This giant court ruins all of Tune Town, but it isn’t over yet. Al G. Rhythm descends from the sky with Pete and makes fun of the Looney Tunes for being old news. Lebron then upgrades all the Looney Tunes to three dimensions and that means Lebron is no longer a cartoon.

Bugs says to Al G. Rhythm that this means war. Lebron wants his son, but Al says he will be here, but first he wants this place to be packed with so many Warner Bros. characters that I am not going to mention them all because this induction is long as it is. If you see them in the background of this film, have yourself a cookie. Let’s just say there are two problems with this thing besides it being a giant “look what we got” tease to try and get you to buy HBO Max (there is a reason the joke is this movie is basically Space Jam Player One). One of those problems is many of them are just short gifs of characters used over and over again while others are just fake versions because they obviously couldn’t get the likeness rights (ie Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze). The other problem is that while this is a family film, plenty of these characters here are from R-Rated properties like the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange or Pennywise from It.

Lebron’s family and Malik enter the computer room where they tracked Lebron’s phone at. They find Lebron’s phone and at this point Al reveals the next part of his plan, which is to use Dom’s app to suck people watching the stream into the Serververse.

Daffey makes a joke about the line in the bathroom being insane and then we get the announcers for this match in Ernie Johnson from the NBA on TNT and comedian/actor Lil’ Rel Howery.

You Mean To Tell Me You Could Get Ernie Johnson, But You Couldn’t Get Anyone Else From The NBA On TNT To Join Him. No Offense To Lil’ Rel Here, But There Are Several Guys You Could Have Gotten Since The NBA On TNT Cleans Up At The Sports Emmys All The Damn Time Like….Kenny Smith, Dwayne Wade (Who Just Joined After Retiring And Is A Good Friend Of Lebron’s), Shaquille O’Neal (Who Played With Lebron In His First Go In Cleveland), Reggie Miller, And Let’s Not Forget Charles Freakin’ Barkley (Who Was In The First Space Jam Movie). They All Have Great Personality And Would Have Been Better Suited For This Role That You Gave Lil’ Rel.

In fact, I could make a good joke with Barkley and Godzilla (who is also not in this movie despite being part of the Monsterverse (which is owned by Warner Brothers)). Barkley could see Godzilla and mentions that he might have seen that giant lizard before.

There, I Just Made A Better Joke Than Many Of The Jokes In This Film. Not That Hard…..

This part of Al’s plan somehow gets Lebron’s family sucked in here too, but not Malik who was elsewhere when it happened.

Lebron tries to get to his family, but there is a force field in between them.

Darius tells Lebron that this is Dom’s game and questions if his dad knows how to play, to which Lebron says it is basketball and how hard can it be. Malik tries to get into the Serververse, but since that phone was used to get Lebron’s family here, no such luck.

It Makes For Some Pointless Stuff And Isn’t Funny In The Least

Al then finally decides to introduce the stipulations for this match. If Lebron’s team wins, everyone can go home. But if they lose, everyone here is stuck in the Serververse forever.

Everyone Is Upset About That, But I’m Just Like….Fine With Me.

Daffy makes a comment that at least nothing happens to them, then Al mentions that if they lose, all the Looney Tunes will be deleted from the Serververse forever.

Yeah, Daffey Gets Yelled At For Opening His Mouth

Al then reveals his team which is captained and created by Dom, The Goon Squad.

Al, If You Are Trying To Make Dom Think That You Are Not Evil, Why Would You Call The Team He Is Playing On….The Goon Squad. Sure, It Kinda Rhymes With Tune Squad (Although Not 100%), But It Gives The Whole Game Away.

Anyway, the team is Diana Tarasi As White Mamba.

Yeah, That Character We Saw Earlier. Diana Taurasi Was Given That Nickname By NBA's "Black Mamba" Kobe Bryant. But Unfortunate Bad Luck Since After Filming Was Completed, But A Few Months Before This Film Was Released….Kobe Bryant Died In A Tragic Helicopter Crash Along With His Daughter And Others. That Sucks.

Klay Thompson As Wet Fire

Nneka Ogwumike As Arachneka

Anthony Davis As The Brow

Al finally reveals the captain in Dom James.

Kamiyah tries to call for Dom, but as Darius points out, he may not be able to hear her. Kamiyah then says he better hear her, but he doesn’t. Lebron goes to Dom to warn him about how evil Al is and how everyone here is in danger, but Dom doesn’t believe a word he is saying since Al has manipulated him too much to think this is all just a simple game. When the rest of the Goon Squad blocks him from speaking anymore to Dom, Lebron tells Brow that his eye brows need to break up with each other since they are ugly.

Mamba Calms Him Down While Brow Looks Like He Just Became The Undertaker

Lebron tells his wife that he couldn’t convince Dom of the danger and Kamiyah says that Lebron is going to have to win this game.

The game tips off and pretty early, the Goon Squad proves to be better at Dom Ball because Lebron doesn’t realize this isn’t regular ass basketball and a video game with power ups, no fouls, and style points.

Lebron’s An Idiot

Lil’ Rel is pretty quick to point out that we are playing video game rules which while a good idea, becomes a problem later as in even video game sports, there has to be some idea of the sports rules that apply.

Maybe I Should Go To My Local Retro Arcade Place And Play Or Watch Someone Play NBA Jam, I Would Get More Excitement And It Would Make More Sense.

After getting his head smacked by the basketball several times by Arachneka, Lebron still thinks there is only one way to play basketball and reiterates that the Looney Tunes should not be Looney.

Oh And Like The NBA, This Game Doesn’t Understand The Idea Of Traveling.

We get even more reminders of how corrupt the NBA game is when the ref (Pete) helps Dom score points.

Foghorn Leghorn is upset that the game isn’t being called fair and gets ejected.

Literally….

Lebron’s team finally starts scoring points, but Dom’s team still is one step ahead as they understand how to play this game. Lebron tries a power-up jump boost, but he overshoots the jump and slams into the force field.

Bugs calls a time out with 2:39 left in the first half and the score Goon Squad 752, Tune Squad 37.

You Just Love To See Lebron Get His Ass Kicked Sometimes

Head Coach of the Goon Squad, Al decides to call in his sixth man and give Dom a bit of a break and that sixth man is….

Damian Lillard As Chronos

Basically he stops time and scores points while making the Tune Squad look stupid.

And with that we head to half time with the score…

Yikes….

Even the villain aliens from the original film are happy to see the Goon Squad get their rear ends kicked.

In the Tune Squad locker room, the toons are dejected with Granny drinking.

Family Entertainment Here…

Sylvester makes a big announcement as they may have found some help since he ran into Michael Jordan. Everyone gets excited and all of that, just one tiny problem…

It’s Michael B. Jordan…Not The Famous Basketball Player

Also, hi…Michael B. Jordan, welcome back to Monster Crap.

Heck, It’s Even Your Second Time Being In A GINO Award Winner Since You Were Johnny Storm in 2015’s Fantastic Four

After that joke that you could have seen from a mile away, Lebron decides it is time to be an asshole and blame his teammates for the fact that they are losing.

Remember The College Humor Skit That Wondered What Would Happen If Lebron James Was In The Original Space Jam, He Would Have Joined The Monstars At Halftime And Doomed The Tune Squad Because He Only Cared About Himself And Winning. Nice To See That Lebron Proved That To Be True.

Finally, the Looney Tunes call Lebron James out on his BS, saying he is a terrible teammate for making them stay as regular basketball players when that isn’t who they are and being a terrible father to Dom in thinking he knows what is best for his son. Lebron realizes the folly of his ways and tells the Looney Tunes that they need to start being Looney.

The second half is about to begin and the Looney Tunes come out with a happier attitude.

Complete With Lebron Having One The Lamest Funny Faces I Have Ever Seen

The second half begins and by being Looney, the Looney Tunes start coming back.

Like Brow Getting Hit By A Random Train

Wet Fire Being All Soaked Up In Gossamer’s Fur.

Road Runner Causing Smoke With His Team, Creating A Literal Smoke Screen Play That Tweety Dunks On

Bugs Bunny Hijacking The Announcing To Do His Own Which Basically Causes Problems For The Other Team Because He Makes Up Things And They Then Happen

But Al takes the mic and tries to do some hijacking of his own with some rhymes as he says it and doesn’t realize he created a hip hop bonus moment.

Up next becomes the most cringe joke in this movie as we get…..Notorious P.I.G. rapping.

This Is Such Cringe That I Won’t Even Go Too Much Into It Other Than They Get Points For This Shit That Basically Is The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back In Saying This Has Anything To Do With The Game Of Basketball.

They Even Do Another Internet Meme Joke That Just Frustrates Me

Back to the game, Taz gets the ball stolen from him by Brow, but Taz uses his spins to spin the court around so Brow accidentally scores for the Tunes.

Oops….

Al decides to become Bobby Knight and throw a chair at Pete the ref for allowing that to count.

Dom starts seeing how much of a jerk Al is as Kamiyah gets a “Let’s Go Tunes” chant going.

Then Wile E. Coyote creates a multiply shooting machine that scores multiple baskets thanks to help from Road Runner, but gets caught in the machine and he multiplies as well and his bodies going also count as points since they go through the hoop.

I Love The Wile E. Coyote-Road Runner Cartoons So I Had Fun Watching This

Lebron starts showing the good side of being dad and laughing with his son about having fun. A break is taken as they clean the court.

Al now looks like Bill Belichick And Calls In Chronos.

Remember when I said the only reason Granny was in Matrix World was for a later spot, well…here it is. Granny comes on the court and uses her Matrix Bullet Time moves to beat Chronos at his own game, making Chronos old in the process and scoring points with a Senior Discount.

The Tunes then do a play that ends with Bron scoring a dunk to give the Tune Squad the lead.

The third quarter is over and Al is really upset forcing everyone to move down so he can also sit on the bench. The fourth quarter begins and we have a father-son moment where Lebron finally shows Dom the light and gets him to join the Tune Squad, which Al seems to have no problem with after a few minutes.

Well, the reason for this is Al has hijacked and stolen all of Dom’s code and is the game. He says King Kong aint got nothing on him, which pisses off King Kong.

I Would Say “Nice Stealing Of A Training Day Quote”, But You Did The Censored Version Of The Line Because You Finally Remembered It Was A Family Film And Training Day Is Rated R For A Reason

Al then turns himself into a basketball player with all the cheats.

The game comes back on and with the help of his teammates and rewinding cheating, Al scores points so the Goons retake the lead.

Wait, Wait, Wait…..No Style Points Or Anything? That Move Counted As Just Two Points. So Now We Are Using Regular Basketball Scoring. You Can’t Make One Thing Throughout Most Of This And Then Change Things At A Freaking Whim

Anyway, Lebron and Dom remember the glitch from earlier that they can use to win the game, but someone will get deleted or killed in this case if they do that. Lebron decides that it is him that is going to sacrifice himself. But before Lebron gets the ball to do so, Bugs steals it and does the move himself.

But no, Lebron has to get the last shot, but even then Al almost foils him.

But Dom gives Lebron a jump boost so he can jump again and score the winning dunk.

Al even gets literally posterized.

The Tune Squad wins and everyone is sent back to the real world, but before that, we get a sad moment where Bugs gets deleted.

I Forgot To Mention That Tune World Is Back To Its Normal Self, But It Is.

Lebron and Dom reunite with the rest of the family (as well as Malik) and we get a happy ending.

Oh Wait….We Have 9 More Minutes.

So one week later…

Lebron surprises Dom by making him think he is going to basketball camp, but he is instead sending him to E3 Game Design Camp.

So Lebron sends his son to Game Design Camp and the movie is over then, right?

Damn It Jordan Peele, But He Is Correct Here.

You see, Bugs shows up revealing that he was right about cartoons not dying.

Basically That Whole Death Scene Bit Was Absolutely…

Yep, It Was Pointless

Anyway, we do a Taco Tuesday joke and reveal that somehow all of the Looney Tunes are now in the real world which gives us credits with Looney Tunes and real people doing stuff.

You Said It Better That I Could, Bill Nye The Science Guy

And finally this movie is over. So how did it do? Well, it definitely made it’s money back and had a huge opening weekend despite being released at the same time on HBO Max due to the pandemic we are all in. HOWEVER….upon the second week, it went down 69% from the first week. Yeah, while Space Jam: A New Legacy wasn’t a failure, it wasn’t a huge success either.

But then we get to what critics think of this film? Remember when I brought up how the first film isn’t critically loved and has a 45% on Rotten Tomatoes? Well, Space Jam: A New Legacy….has a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Ouch, Indeed…..

In fact, the movie has been made out to be a joke in shows showing how terribly creatively bankrupt Hollywood is. South Park has been well known as making fun of it and they definitely will not be alone in that.

Now time for my final thoughts on this film. While I had a lot of things to say about this and actually was able to produce more jokes than I thought, this movie was miserable to watch. The writing for this film is really bad, actors who are normally good are wasted here, most of the jokes are groan worthy, and worst of all is that Lebron is terrible as the lead, and I cant even fully blame him because the script did him zero favors (making him out to be mostly an asshole). While not the worst of the year in my mind, this more than freaking deserves the GINO Award as everything about it is just one giant mistake made by an incredibly greedy Warner Bros. Also while the first movie had a great and memorable soundtrack, this movie’s soundtrack is completely forgettable with almost all the songs being used elsewhere instead of being original. This movie should not have been that hard to do, but every decision they made with this film turned out to be wrong. If you like the original or don’t, I really would recommend you stay away from this film. Even if you are a huge Lebron fan, stay away from this film as it doesn’t put your guy in a positive light.

Now for what is next….and cue Nega Seth in 3, 2, 1…

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Well, it seems like he won’t…

I’m Not Doing Your Fucking Cues. I’ll Show Up Whenever I Want To.

You aren’t any fun.

I Am The One Who Has Fun. Not You As You’re The One Inducting This Films.

Of course….

Now let’s see what is next for you. Hmmm…this is definitely an interesting one since for some reason, this movie was trending a few months on Twitter. It’s a movie with an Academy Award Winning Writer that reveals that she may be a one hit wonder as far as screenwriting goes. It also proves a certain actress can’t act and is only good for eye candy. It’s...

Well, It’s Been A Long Time Since I Saw This Movie. Don’t Remember Liking It….