Monster Crap Inductee: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze (1991)

Monster Crap Inductee: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze

Ninja, Ninja….CRAP

1991

In 1983, two comic book writers created a unique farce on the whole superhero teams by making the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, with the idea of teenagers being a take off on the Teen Titans, Mutants being the whole X-Men thing, and the Ninja skills of Daredevil…with turtles being the difference to make it a total parody. They considered giving the turtles Japanese names with the whole Ninja schtick, but decided to be quirky and give them names of Italian Renaissance painters Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. Also with more Daredevil parody, let’s name the master Splinter instead of Stick and let’s name the evil organization that the Turtles fight The Foot instead of The Hand, which Daredevil fights. Then in 1984, they founded Mirage Comics and released this silly idea that was so great that in a few weeks, they sold all 3,000 original copies of the story.

Seeing a potential gold mine, they licensed the toy rights to the characters to Playmates Toys in 1987. Playmates would end up making 400 different figures and dozens of vehicles and they were so popular that they would be the third best selling toy figures at the time only behind GI Joe and Star Wars, making $1.1 billion in four years. Now let’s make more money by working with studio Murakami-Wolf-Swenson to produce a animated cartoon to sell the toys and that would also be a gigantic freaking hit. The toys and cartoons would introduce the colored masks, the love of pizza, and the distinct personalities as the four turtles in the comics were all the same personality wise. And also to make it more acceptable to families, lets make it less violent, no expletives, and make the villains less threatening.

Then they made a video game in 1989.

A Terrible NES Game That Still Made A Crap Ton Of Money

But you also could go to the arcades back then and play the awesome TMNT beat-em up game.

Luckily I Have A Retro Arcade Near Me And I Can Play This Any Time I Want Because They Have It

They also decided to make a movie and shopped the idea to many studios like Walt Disney, Paramount, Warner Brothers, MGM/UA, Orion, 20^th Century Fox, Columbia, and Universal Studios, with all of those big studio heads turning them down because after the Masters Of The Universe movie bomb (which would destroy Cannon Films), they were leary of putting money on a toy property (despite the fact that the TMNT franchise was on the rise at the time and the MOTU series was on the decline when that film came out(. Ultimately, the film would go to New Line Cinema and Golden Harvest and they would get a big name in the costume wearing of the turtles and they tasked Jim Henson and his Creature Shop with the making of the costumes. And when that film came out in 1990, all those major companies that denied the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would look like big freaking idiots as the film would be the 4^th highest grossing film of 1990 and the highest grossing independent film at the time (it would only get beaten out by Passion Of The Christ).

Suffice To Say, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Could Do The DX Chop And Tell All Those Big Studios To Suck It All The Livelong Day

Well, with that kind of success, a sequel was bound to be made and made rather fast as in the sequel came out a year later. Unfortunately, certain people could not come back for the sequel due to various things beyond the studios control. Corey Feldman couldn’t return to be the voice of Donatello because he had just pled no contest to a drug possession charge. Josh Pais (who actually was the voice and in the suit for Raphael) hated doing it because he might have been claustrophobic so no way was he going to do it again.  There was also Kevin Peter Hall (who was The Predator in Predator and Harry in Harry & The Hendersons), who they originally wanted to play a certain Super character (we’ll get to that in the film), but Kevin Peter Hall sadly was dying from HIV due to a blood infusion during surgery from a car accident and would sadly die months after this sequel came out from AIDS-related pneumonia.

But there was also some changes that well, the studio could control and said they could be left out of the sequel. Judith Hoag (who played April O’Neil) was very vocal about the unfair treatment of the stunt performers and the unfair schedule changes so the producers and director decided she could be recast and they replaced her with Paige Turco (who had only been in the soap opera Guiding Light at the time). The filmmakers also got a lot of complaints from parents that the first film was not kid-friendly enough so they decided to make it a more kid-friendly film and the biggest person to suffer from that was Elia Koteas (who played Casey Jones) because they decided to scrap Casey Jones from the film and replace him with a new character they made up, which they had Ernie Reyes Jr. (who was actually Donatello’s stunt double in the first film) playing this new character as they REALLY liked him in the first film and didn’t think he needed to don the suit for stunts anymore. Also Shredder had two actors in the first film with James Haito being Shredder unmasked as David McCharen did the voice. Well, David McCharen is returning as the voice, but let’s replace James Haito with Francios Chau, even though Francois Chau is also a voice actor as well. Oh and that lighter tone in this sequel, Steve Barron (the director of the first film) would not return as they had cut his film as well so Michael Pressman is the new director.

Now let’s talk about Monster Crap alumni in this film and we start with the acclaimed and sadly late David Warner.

He Was Admiral Geoffrey Tolwyn In Wing Commander (1999)

You might also know that Paige Turco was also April O’Neil in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, which is way worse and I obviously inducted.

Kevin Clash may play Splinter in this film, but he was also Bubblypants and Coach Lyle in The Happytime Murders

Mark Ginther is in this film as one of the two new mutants and he would also be in a suit for another character in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, including the 1995 movie.

Yep….He Is The One In The Lord Zedd Costume

Sheik Mahmud-Bey is an audience member of the Vanilla Ice concert in this film and he would end up being Watson in Leprechaun: Back 2 Da Hood.

Yeah, He Is The Guy Driving And Is The Main Antagonistic Gang Member In This Film, Who Dies Because The Leprechaun Rips His Heart Out

Robbie Rist is the voice of Michelangelo in this film as he was in the first film and sadly the terrible third film and he was also in Sharknado.

Brian Tochi is the voice of Leonardo and is also the voice of Leonardo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

But they all pale in comparison to the man with probably the most Monster Crap inductions in the past, Frank Welker. Because he is in so much stuff, he is in so much crap too. He was in Godzilla 1998 (doing creature vocals), How The Grinch Stole Christmas (making dog noises for Max), Mafia (where he did special vocal effects), Anaconda (where he did the sounds of the Anaconda), Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (where he did special vocal effects), Super Mario Bros. (he did creature voices), and Munchies (where he is the voice of one of the Munchies). Bottom line is the day that man passes away, my RIP post will definitely be the longest I have ever done and it won’t be because I actually knew the guy personally. He is both the voices of the two new mutants and considering the different voices they have, you can tell why he is as in demand as he is.

Others include Mark Caso (who played 2 uncredited roles as Raptor #2 in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Skinless Parker in Hellraiser Bloodline) and Kurt Bryant (who was the tanker driver in Jack Frost and an Angry Man in Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman).

And with that out of the way, let’s get to the film.

We begin this film with a “In Memory Of Jim Henson”, who sadly died less than two months after the first film and who is responsible for these awesome turtles costumes.

Then we go to New York City and have a montage of random people eating pizza in the city.

And Just A Little Personal Jab Myself, New York Pizza Is Better Than Chicago Pizza

We then go to Roy’s Pizza where the boss gets an order from April O’Neil and gives the pizzas to the delivery person named Keno.

He of course goes to deliver it, but before that…he notices someone is breaking into the electronics stores down the street. He goes and investigates and sees people in masks robbing the place.

He says they are under arrest and they laugh because he isn’t a cop. He starts doing some martial arts and kicks their asses.

Unfortunately for him, there are more criminals.

He may be in trouble, but he is lucky as April O’Neil was ordering the pizza for the Ninja Turtles who were across the street and they definitely followed him since he went somewhere else instead of delivered the pizza immediately.

They jump up to fight and then we get the title card.

They kick the bad guys’ asses pretty easily with highlights being…

Donatello Whipping A Guy With A Belt And Saying “Rawhide”

Then Hogtieing The Guy, Doing The Gun Salute, And Saying “Yeehaw” And “Ninja Cowboy”

[Insert 11]

Michelangelo Knocking Out Several Goons With A Yo-Yo

Donatello Deciding To Pretend To Be One Of Those Wobbly Inflatable Clowns And Beating Up A Guy

Michelangelo Beating Up Guys With Various Sausage Links While Saying “Combat Cold Cuts”

You may notice none of them used their weapons to beat up bad guys and in fact throughout the film, the only one to use their weapon in such a way is Donatello with his bow. That is because parents got pissed off at the violence and the studio heads listened and decided to find other ways they can kick butt without their weapons. Now you may ask why no nunchaku action, and that is because of the Brits who for some reason really hate nunchucks and hate Ninja at the time that the freaking franchise over there is called Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles.

United Kingdom, You Really Have Strange Things That Make You Clutch Your Pearls And Say “Won’t Somebody Think Of The Children”

They then check on Keno, who can’t believe what he is seeing. Raphael says that he should have found a phone to call the police, which Keno immediately does before coming back to see the Turtles left the criminals behind, ready to be taken away.

Oh and the Turtles took the pizza, but were kind enough to leave money behind.

Two people are leaving an apartment as April O’Neil comes by.

By The Way, The Guy Here Is Michelangelo Outside Of The Suit

She talks a little, but goes inside. She goes to her apartment (which is actually the New York location for Jim Henson’s Creature Shop) and looks in the fridge to find a toy snake put there by Michelangelo.

She is of course cleaning up the place as the Turtles and Splinter are staying there until they find a new place to stay since in the first movie, their hideout got found out by the Foot Clan and April makes note that the rat is the cleanest one of them. The Turtles come back through the window and are happy about kicking some ass. The Turtles do more shenanigans like having Raphael catch a pizza pass from Donatello.

Raphael wants to go to their old home and even though the Foot Clan know where they live, he thinks it is fine since the Foot Clan is done for basically and the Shredder is finished (he was put in a garbage truck and presumed crushed in the first film). Splinter shows up and scolds Raphael and the others for not being invisible enough currently.

He reminds them that while the outside world beckons their teenage minds, the people would never understand them. Michelangelo wonders if pizza is okay and Splinter makes an exception with pizza. Both Raphael and Leonardo have a little spat after Raphael mocks Leonardo for being a suck up, and Splinter makes them both do back handstand flips as punishment.

Splinter says that the Turtles need to focus on the surroundings and leave the Shredder buried. Speaking of which, we go to the junkyard and find out that despite being supposedly crushed in the back of a garbage truck, Shredder is still very much alive (only having scars to show for his experience).

We then go to the Foot Clan hideout where membership is sparce at this point after the events of the first film and Tatsu tries to assume leadership and calls for anyone who wishes to challenge his new leadership role.

Shredder immediately shows up and Tatsu immediately relinquishes leadership role back to him.

Shredder then makes a new helmet and mask for himself while telling Tatsu to choose his best men to follow Ms. O’Neil, hoping she will lead them to the Turtles. Tatsu asks if afterwards, they rebuild the Foot Clan, but Shredder says no and what is next instead is revenge.

We then go to the next day as April O’Neil is doing a newscast about a company named Techno-Global Research Industries (TGRI for short) is doing pollution clean-up. She then interviews the lead scientist of the team in Professor Jordan Perry, who we will just call Professor from hear on out.

He explains they are cleaning up from their own past waste dumping because they want to help the environment. The Turtles are watching, but Raphael wants to watch Oprah instead. Splinter comes in and tells Raphael that they need to watch this. We go back to April at the cleanup and goes to see if she can ask the Professor follow up questions, which he originally agrees to, but says they will have to do another time. We then see that one of the guys is on his first day and his name is Freddy.

Freddy asks what April was going to ask of the Professor, but she doesn’t know and she just says that it pays to be suspicious. Meanwhile, we see TGRI crew members finding giant flowers and explaining that the ooze must have done this.

They go to tell the Professor, but Freddy is nearby and sees this. He also finds the giant plants too and takes one.

We then go to the Professor who says that if the leakage is that far away, then there must be more leaky cannisters. Basically, TGRI is really trying to hide the mess they made with their ooze. One of the guys tells the Professor that they shouldn’t have brought out the news and the Professor says that sometimes the best place to hide is out in the open.

We then go to Shredder who has the giant flower.

Yep….Freddy Is A Mole For The Foot Clan

Damn Moles....

He says this is not the reason he had Freddy follow Ms. O’Neil. Freddy tries to reason, but Shredder tells him to remain silent. Shredder then says that this may even be better as whatever caused this mutation might be useful against the Turtles. He tells Tatsu to gather his best men as they have a mission tonight

We then go to the Turtles who are goofing off and cleaning up at the same time.

Michelangelo then does the “wax on, wax off” joke.

April comes by and the Turtles are upset they she spoiled their surprise of cleaning up the place. April asks where Splinter is and Leonardo says that he has been up on the roof ever since her report. She asks what he is doing up there, but Splinter comes in and says that he is coming to a decision up there. He tells the Turtles to join him on the roof as he has something to tell them.

April Is Also There As Well

Splinter basically tells the Turtles that the ooze that created them all those years ago was from a broken cannister that he has always kept around him.

He then reveals that the cannister has a name and it says….

Yep…It’s The Real Reason TGRI Is Doing Clean-Up.

Now, how the company found out this was causing trouble is anyone’s guess, but that doesn’t matter here. April knew the Professor was hiding something and Splinter says they must know what is going on for if the contents of the ooze were to fall into the wrong hands, “the city may now face……grave danger.”

We then go to the lab where the Professor is disposing of the ooze and he has one cannister left to get rid of permanently. But before he does so, he gets grabbed by Tatsu and the Foot Soldiers instead.

Ironically, the Ninja Turtles also show up at this exact point as they were remarking how the lab looked like video games in 3D.

The Foot Soldiers attack the Ninja Turtles and the Turtles see that Tatsu has the cannister. Our green heroes knock the cannister away from Tatsu pretty easily and they then play keep away with it while the Foot tries to get it back. The Turtles try to do the “Go Long” thing earlier with Michelangelo and Raphael which was a success with the pizza slice, but the same cannot be said for the cannister. The Foot gets it and Michelangelo gets it back to Leonardo, but Leonardo is tripped while doing some desk chair surfing and Tatsu gets it. Tatsu is tired of the game so he and the Foot Soldiers (along with the Professor) use a smoke ball to escape.

Back at the Foot hideout near the junkyard, Tatsu gives the cannister to Shredder and Shredder tells a tied up and gagged Professor that it is time to see what this ooze can do.

The Turtles don’t seem to bummed out about losing the cannister as they prepare to leave April’s apartment so they can find a new home since with the Foot being out and about, it is too dangerous to stay with April. A knock at the door and the Turtles hide. It’s Keno of course who is suspicious of why April is always getting pizza and his curiosity gets him to want to look around. They have a conversation with April trying to get Keno to leave, like when Keno sees the nunchucks and April saying they are hers, while saying she likes to bit of chucking every now and then.

Michelangelo Facepalms And Maybe I Can Give The Godzilla Facepalm A Rest For A Bit.

Keno sees Raphael’s big feet behind a dressing blind and steps on it, revealing Raphael and basically giving the game away.

Raphael wants to beat him up while the rest try to calm both Keno and Raphael down. Keno then sees Splinter who says they all need to have a talk and Keno does what April did in the first movie and the first episode of the 1987 cartoon,

Faint...

We then cut to Splinter explaining the Turtles origin and what is currently going on with Keno very interested in all of this.

As You Would Be If This Happened To You.

Michelangelo makes a joke about all the good names ending in “O”, which makes Raphael and Splinter upset so Splinter makes Michelangelo do the back handstand flips as punishment.

It’s Basically The “Drop And Give Me 20 Push Ups” For The Ninja Turtles

Keno mentions that word is out on the street that the Foot Clan are doing auditions for new members. Leonardo thinks it is a bad idea if he were to try and get recruited, but Raphael thinks it is a great idea. Splinter puts his foot down and says no to the idea as it is too dangerous. We then see Michelangelo try to cheat his back handstand flips and Splinter catches him so he has to start all over from 1.

We go back to the Foot’s hideout where they prepare two places to hold the two animals that they will transform into mutants to fight the Turtles. The Professor tries to state his objections, but they are shut down and thus the transformation begins. We then go back to April as she sneaks the Turtles back into the sewer during a rainy night.

Michelangelo Acts Like Rick Blaine From Casablanca Before The Rest Of The Turtles Take Him With Them.

They search a bit, but then Leonardo and Raphael have an argument over searching for a new place or taking the fight to the Foot Clan. Raphael leaves as he decides he is going to fight the Foot Clan on his own. While the rest continue searching, Michelangelo falls through a hole and lands at the old abandoned subway station

This Set Is Based On The Old City Hall Subway Station, Which Was Decommissioned Back In 1945, But Is Not Actually Abandoned And Is An Actual Tourist Site

Since this place has power and is large enough for all of them to fit in and make rooms for, this is obviously going to be their new home and is still their new home in the terrible third film. We then go back to the Foot Clan HQ where Shredder is getting impatient about the transformation taking too long. But soon after, the place that keeps the new mutants starts rumbling which means the transformation is complete. We then go to the news station where April is having an argument with the head of the station who wants to do a different story, but April still wants to cover the TGRI cleanup as she knows something is up.

Played By The Actual Director Of This Film

He tries to get her to cover swimsuits of the 90s since it’s a ratings week and he thinks men would definitely want to see this. April is sort of offended and just leaves to take a call from Donatello, who says to the news agency that his name is Donnie. Donatello tells her the good news about finding the place, but wonders if she has seen Raphael anywhere since he left in a huff.

We then go back to the Foot Clan HQ as the two mutants are ready to be shown. They are left out and they are….

Not Bebop And Rocksteady, To The Disappointment Of Almost Everyone Watching.

That was actually what the studio originally wanted, but both Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird (the creators of the entire franchise) said no. You see, they are okay with the cartoon giving them loads of money, but not exactly fans of how family friendly the cartoon is. So despite this entire movie being more toned down so parents wouldn’t throw a fit like they did the first film, Eastman and Laid refused to have Bebop and Rocksteady as they found “their one-note schtick in the first animated series extremely annoying and silly to the point of being stupid”. So if you want to be upset with anyone over the creation of these two instead of Bebop and Rocksteady, blame Eastman and Laird for that.

So Shredder’s happiness with seeing his new mutant creations is brought down when the two mutants call him “Momma” and act like children.

They Give Shredder A Hug

Shredder is so pissed that he marches out of there and says this awesome line.

Shredder: BABIES!!!! THEY ARE….BABIES!!!!! UGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Shredder is furious with the Professor and wants the two creatures to be immediately terminated. However, the Professor objects to this and convinces Shredder to keep them around as while they may not be intelligent, they’ve already imprinted on Shredder to be their master and they are super strong.

Yep…They Definitely Could Be Useful Against The Turtles.

We then go to near the Brooklyn Bridge where Raphael and Keno are preparing for Keno to sneak into the Foot Clan as a new recruit. Keno goes alone and….

Is That Black Dynamite????

Yes, before Michael Jai White got any sort of fame. He was doing some work for Troma in two of the Toxic Avenger films and was an uncredited actor in this film. And if you know any Michael Jai White from any films, you know that he is really noticeable so when you see him here, you just notice.

Anyway, another guy comes and tells the people that everyone here is going to have to take a test, which if they are good enough, they will be allowed in the Foot Clan. As they follow the Foot, Keno sneaks off to talk with Raphael, who says they only are in to find the Foot Clan HQ and then get out to tell the others. It is of course a fight club test basically where people get their asses kicked by other people.

Keno does pretty well and gets noticed by another guy, who takes him to a different place.

He tells him that Keno seems to be the only one worthy of the final test (which I find hard to believe because I know Michael Jai White could complete this shit). Basically, it is a smoke bomb where you remove as many of the bells as you can without making a sound in 15 seconds, or you fail. They do the smoke bomb and Raphael sneaks in to do this part, making it seem like Keno got all the bells.

That’s More Than Enough To Pass

So now that they are at the junkyard, Keno is told to go change into Foot gear and Keno instead goes to talk with Raphael. Raphael then thinks he sees the Shredder, which shocks him as he believes the Shredder to be pretty dead. He tries to keep talking, but Keno and Raphael are noticed by Tatsu and they have to fight. Raphael tells Keno to get out of here and tell the others while he holds them off. Raphael does well enough to get Keno to escape, but is captured. He starts taunting Tatsu while restrained until the Shredder shows up, confirming his suspicions earlier.

Keno runs and finds April, telling her that the Foot Clan got Raphael. We then cut to the Turtles going to the place they know Raphael was captured. They find Raphael who is bound and gagged.

They go to free Raphael, but are caught in a net trap.

They also find out that Shredder is still alive, but they really have no time for that as they are being moved to a spikey landing.

Thankfully Splinter has a bow and arrow and frees the Turtles before they end up “Turtle Kabob”, as Michelangelo said.

Unfortunately For Them, One Of The Stuntmen Broke His Ankle Doing This Stunt

With Splinter leaving for some reason, Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo fight the Foot Clan and we see that once again, the Foot Clan are really incompetent henchmen. Donatello takes the tape off Raphael’s mouth, but put it back on as Raphael’s talking is too annoying for Donatello to finish the rest of the job. With Raphael free, all four fight the Foot Soldiers and the only one who uses his weapon is Donatello.

I Guess I Have To Really Mention How Really Stupid Because They Were Punching Michelangelo And Michelangelo Escapes Without Them Noticing.

We Also Have This Moment Where The Foot Soldier Is Happy He Was Able To Get His Hand On Top Of Donatello’s Bow Before Getting Punched Out And Donatello Saying He Guesses The Foot Guy Won.

Shredder than finally calls for the names of his new mutants which are Rahzar (the wolf) and Tokka (the alligator snapping turtle).

And They Have Armor Now.

The Turtles are surprised at seeing this, but even worse for them is the fact that the two new mutants are kicking the Turtles ass. Donatello is thrown through the roof of a nearby junk house and finds the bound and gagged Professor.

And Maybe Some Cocaine Bags Which Never Be Brought Up

Donatello frees the Professor who is shocked to see another mutant. Michelangelo gets thrown around, but he finds a manhole. He tells the others it is time for them to escape after opening the cover. They escape along with the Professor and Tokka tries to follow but unfortunately, Tokka can’t fit.

Michelangelo Decides To Have A Little Tickle Fun At Tokka’s Expense, But The Rest Of The Turtles Make Michelangelo Come With Them.

In the sewers, the Professor is amazed to see four Mutant Turtles that can talk. They try to explain their origin, but the Professor explains it for them since he knows about the incident, but not the ramifications of that incident. They bring him to their new home where he also is amazed to see Splinter as well. We cut to the Professor explaining things and a near collision on the way to bury them caused one of the cannisters to be lost in the sewer, which disappoints the Turtles as they realize their entire existence was all because of one big mistake. Splinter has Michelangelo show the Professor where he may rest and Splinter reassures Donatello that “he should not confuse the specter of their birth with your present worth, my sons”. Donatello wishes for more, but they have larger problems and those larger problems come when Shredder decides to release both Rahzar and Tokka into a street to have a bit of fun.

Of course two people see all of this and would rather just get in a cab and leave.

Those Two People Are Of Course The Director’s Parents

In the morning, the destruction is being cleaned up with the police chief saying the damage is minimal.

April tries to get more from the chief and thinks this damage may have been caused by two big animals, but with nothing more to collaborate that theory, the police chief dismisses her concerns. April leaves and notices Freddy is missing. One of the news people tells her that Freddy took off, claiming he was sick. April then goes to her news van, but gets taken away by some Foot Soldiers and she finds out that Freddy is a member of the Foot Clan.

Freddy tells April that he is here to tell her that his master has a message for her friends. April immediately tells the Turtles and Splinter the message which is to meet the Foot Clan at a place for a final showdown tonight or Shredder will release Rahzar and Tokka into Central Park in front of everyone. Splinter says that there is no choice and they will have to meet where the Shredder wants them to meet, which is a construction yard. April is against this idea, but they don’t have a different choice. The Professor then comes up with an idea as he may have a way to turn the two rogue mutants back into just animals.

We then get some laboratory scenes and a funny scene where Michelangelo accidentally drops a pizza into the concoction and the rest of the Turtles acting like nothing happened.

Thankfully, This Is Anti-Ooze So We Won’t Have Any Pizza Monsters Like In The Cartoon

We also find out that the Professor messed with the ooze to make Rahzar and Tokka stupid. They finish this anti-mutagen and the Professor reveals that the only way this stuff will work is via ingestion. Michelangelo has an idea which is to use Donatello’s idea of freezing them into cubes and hiding them in donuts. They come to the place that Shredder demanded the Turtles show up with a box of donuts.

The Foot Clan then surround them with Shredder and Tatsu as well. He then summons Rahzar and Tokka for the final battle. But the good guys first thing they should partake in “the traditional pre-fight donut”. Michelangelo gives them the donuts and first they eat one each until Rahzar notices something fishy and crushes the donut to reveal the frozen anti-mutagen cubes.

With that revealed, the rogue mutants attack and mostly the Turtles seem to get their asses kicked.

They then get thrown through the wall which just so happens to be a secret underground club where if you’ve seen this movie (and I know most of you have), you know who is performing,

One Hit Wonder Vanilla Ice

For those of you who were not around in the 90s, Vanilla Ice is a white rapper who had a hit song called Ice Ice Baby (which definitely sampled from Queen & David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” despite what Vanilla Ice tried to say). In 1991 after this hit came out, mainstream media everywhere thought Vanilla Ice was going to be the next big thing in music so they gave him his own movie that came out later that year in the hysterically bad Cool As Ice and when he found out this movie was being made near where he was at the time, he demanded he get to be a part of the movie, which filmmakers were more than happy to oblige.

At first the crowd and Vanilla Ice are stunned by this development of four Ninja Turtles and two other mutants in their midst of this concert.

Ah Nuts…..I Know I’m Gonna Deal With Another Green Guy Much Later

But the monsters start burping, the fighting then starts happening and everyone starts digging it. Vanilla Ice, master lyricist that he is (that is sarcasm) and his band then come up with the tune “Ninja Rap” on the fly.

The fight is silly, while the promoter and his assistant are not happy by the Turtles showing up. The promoter demands his assistant call the police. But back to the song, which you can listen to here if you want.

Also back to the fighting, we here from the professor that the burping is making the anti-mutagen stop working and the Turtles need to re-introduce carbon dioxide into them to replace the stuff that is being burped out will speed up the process so of course get some fire extinguishers.

We then take a break from the action as Splinter and Keno are meditating.

Keno wants to be with the guys in the fight, but Splinter says that Keno has youth while he himself has experience, but yet the Turtles have both. Keno basically decides that he is going to help the Turtles in their fight and really this scene is completely pointless.

Back at the club, the Turtles gang up on Rahzar and Tokka and knock them down. Then they shove fire extinguishers in each of their mouths to speed up the anti-mutagen process.

Rahzar and Tokka pass out and the Turtles celebrate. The assistant shows up with a phone to the police, but the promoter says he has changed his mind and since the crowd loves it, no police is needed.

This Schtick Does Not Work

The Foot Clan show up and the Turtles get back to their usual ass kicking. The Turtles then knock out Tatsu and then dance.

And That’s The Last We See Of Tatsu

Shredder shows up to be a major party pooper and says they are not through yet. Shredder admits this battle is theirs yet the war is far from over and as long as he possesses the cannister, he isn’t done yet. The Turtles say Shredder has to get through them first and it is at this point Keno shows up to knock the cannister out of Shredder’s hands.

The cannister is grabbed by the Professor who makes a beeline out of there. The Turtles try to restrain Keno and Shredder uses this opportunity to take a female hostage.

They say Shredder isn’t going anywhere which Shredder says he and the hostage are going somewhere and if they try to stop them, he’ll cover her with a tiny vial of ooze that he has.

Donatello goes behind the stage and messes with the amplifiers to make them explode and knock Shredder away.

Raphael chastises Keno for getting involved while the rest check on the hostage. Keno tells the hostage that he learned that this isn’t his fight from a rat which makes her faint. The Turtles leave looking for Shredder, but they see that both Rahzar and Tokka are back to being just regular animals.

They look for Shredder, but can’t find him. They start to celebrate when Shredder’s arm shows up from under them.

He drags the Turtles down to where he is which is under the docks and we find out that Shredder drank all that small vial of the ooze to become a Super Shredder.

Played By Kevin Nash

You might have remembered earlier that it was originally going to be Kevin Peter Hall originally as this Super Shredder, but the HIV had really turned to AIDS at this point and he was too sick to do the part. That left filmmakers in a bit of a bind. Then two members of Carolco Studio went to a WCW house show and backstage, they saw Kevin Nash. They immediately offered him the role despite no film acting experience and Nash jumped at the chance. He wrestled his match and afterwards found himself in a hotel room with breathing straws through his nostrils as they had his head casted for the costume that he was going to wear. Nash did his scenes and continued wrestling as if nothing happened. But it was good for Nash as for this very brief role, he made more money than he did his entire first year of wrestling. Honestly, if you are a wrestler (especially a young wrestler who doesn’t know how well you are going to do), you take that in a goddamn second.

Super Shredder then causes all kinds of mayhem and the Turtles don’t know what to do. Unfortunately for Super Shredder, he is too angry to know that there is stuff above him so he knocks over stuff. Leonardo tries to reason with Super Shredder, but Super Shredder is alright with this and continues to do so. Ultimately, Super Shredder is killed when a bunch of stuff falls on top of him as our brave Ninja Turtles bravely run away.

Super Shredder’s arm comes up again teasing more, but it falls down meaning it is over.

And As You Know, That Is The Last We Will See Of The Shredder

Back at the sewers, April is doing a broadcast and mentions that TGRI has just disappeared, but left a message thanking the Turtles by name and Splinter is not happy. The Turtles come back happy about winning, but Splinter asks the Turtles if they were seen and they lie. But then Splinter brings out a newspaper that proves otherwise.

Splinter says to practice harder and then before the Turtles have to do the back handstand flips, Splinter then says “Go Ninja Go Ninja Go” and the movie ends with this still shot as the Turtles are taking their punishment and Splinter saying “I Made Another Funny”.

So how did this movie do? Well, while not as successful as the first film, the film did really well in the box office, which of course caused them to make a third film although take more time with it and not rush it out (seeing as Jim Henson Creature Effects wouldn’t work on the third film)….

And We Know How Badly That Went Since I Inducted It Years Ago

Rahzar and Tokka would appear in one episode of the 1980s-1990s cartoon and Super Shredder (along with Rahzar and Tokka) would appear in the video games like TMNT: Turtles In Time and the latest video game TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge.

As far as the cast went, despite what could have been bad blood between Judith Hoag and Paige Turco (who played April O’Neil in this film) over the recasting. Judith never held it against Paige since Paige was really at a stage in her career where she couldn’t really turn down the role and the two met 17 years later, where they are now good friends. Paige was also in the third film and later was in 10 episodes of NYPD, played Greg Kinnear’s wife in Invincible, played Karen Kelly in The Gamplan, Jackie Kerns in the Stepfather remake, was Dr. Abigail Griffin in 100 episodes of the show The 100.

David Warner (who played Professor Perry) acted in other films like Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (which came out the same year as this film), Titanic, In The Mouth Of Madness, Scream 2, the Planet Of The Apes remake, and Mary Poppins Returns while also doing voice acting like as Ra’s al Ghul in Batman: The Animated Series and Superman. He said he was proud of the fact that he played Professor Perry at the time as it would finally be a film that his daughter and her friends would all see. It was also one of his favorite roles he ever played because for once, he got to play a good guy.

Kevin Clash (who played Splinter) would play Elmo in Sesame Street until a sex scandal in 2019 would cause him to leave as the puppeteer and voice. Kevin Nash (who played Super Shredder) would go on to have a great wrestling career and was eventually inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame. Vanilla Ice’s career went nowhere despite multiple attempts to reinvent himself in other musical genres. Mark Caso (who was in the Leonardo suit) would be uncredited as Sub Zero in the Mortal Kombat movie. Daniel Pesina (who did Donatello stunt work) would be several character models for Mortal Kombat (the video game) like Johnny Cage, Shang Tsung, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Reptile. And Michael Jai White (while being uncredited in this film) would have a career that is still going as a action star and as Black Dynamite. Many of the puppeteers would continue to work for Jim Henson’s Creature Shop despite Jim Henson’s passing.

Sadly, we do have some people who are no longer with us. Raymond Serra (who played Police Chief Sterns) passed away in 2003 at the age of 66. David Pressman (who played the old man getting into a cab) died in 2011 at the age of 97. Sasha Pressman (who played the old lady getting into a cab) left this mortal coil in 2012 at the age of I believe 94. David Warner (who played Professor Perry) died in 2022 at the age of 80 from cancer.

Now for my final thoughts on this film. While I will not deny that this is a step down from the first film, I (as a kid) kind of liked this film more than the first one and I have definitely seen it more than the first one. The film is fun and I really like both Rahzar and Tokka as characters, even if they are not Bebop and Rocksteady. I liked the whole Super Shredder bit although even as a kid, the ending of that whole bit was disappointing. The weapons bit kind of irritates me, but I can forgive it although I still believe the whole anger over nunchucks is really freaking dumb. The dialogue may be cheesier, but the costumes are still awesome and the fights are fun to watch. So like I said, I originally was against doing this film as an induction because I liked it, although smarter heads in my own mind prevailed.

It’s Still A 1991 Better Film With Vanilla Ice In It Than Cool As Ice

Now for the next induction and this one is not going to be as fun to induct as it is a direct to SyFy film called….

Most Of You SyFy Fans Would Know This Film As Mansquito, Which Is A Better Title