Monster Crap Inductee: The Creeping Terror (1964)

Monster Crap Inductee: The Creeping Terror
Might Need A Pack Of Marlboros After Watching This
 

1964
 
In March, I had a March Madness contest to decide who would get to induct this November induction. Though I did win last year, this year I was not so lucky and a man with the user name GreyFMDan won instead. It took a few months for him to make a pick, but he ultimately did make a pick and what a hell of a pick it was as we are finally inducting a film that probably has deserved to be in Monster Crap for a long ass time in 1964’s The Creeping Terror.
 
Considered one of the worst films of all time, The Creeping Terror is the brainchild of the credited writer Robert Silliphant’s younger brother Allan who would ultimately go on to direct the most successful X rated movie of all time (as far as film budget to box office)..
 

Yep….We Are Beginning Strange Here
 
Then, because of both of the brother’s older brother Stirling having a successful, the producer/director/star Vic Savage (directing under the name A.J. Nelson) was able to convince financers to back his film while offering them small parts in the film as well. Then things already got rocky as Allan thought this whole idea of a creeping monster slowly killing people needed to be a sort of comedy (because the idea sounds extremely absurd) and Vic wanted this whole crazy idea to be taken….seriously.
 
Then shit got even worse when they finally started filming where they originally were going to shoot in Lake Tahoe, but due to money (you will hear this a lot), they shot in the muddy areas of the infamous Spahn Ranch, which would later become the headquarters of the Manson Family.
 

Yeah, Charles Hadn’t Taken Over This Area Just Yet.
 
It continued with Vic not freaking paying the special effects creator for his work and the special effects creator decided that if they aren’t going to pay him for his work on the monster, they are not going to have his work as he took his creation and went home. Because of that, the staff had to rush in making a substitute monster which was obviously extremely cheap and not as good. Then because of still having issues getting money (because only using a relative of a successful writer can only get you so far), filming was episodic and while filming started in 1962, it didn’t finish until 1963.
 
Nightmares continue because Vic didn’t give a shit about sound so not all of the dialogue was able to be used so instead, he decided to hire Larry Burrell to narrate the film and boy does he have a career with a nudie cutie Not Today Henry and another film considered one of the worst films of all time They Saved Hitler’s Brain
 

Hey, I Nominated That One Once And It Didn’t Win So That’s Why I Havent Inducted That Shit Yet
 

But Wait…..There’s More
 
While nearing the gun on finishing, Vic Savage was getting sued and may have faced a potential indictment for fraud so instead of face the music, he decided that he is going to drop everything and vanish off the face of the Earth. Because of this, the main financier of this film William Thourlby wanted to recoup some of the money he wasted on this nightmare of a film and relegated the film to drive-in theaters and second run theaters (because there is no way we can make a wide release of this mess). William Thourlby was actually a really good friend of famous athlete Jim Thorpe and according to William, Jim basically adopted him. You might actually know William as the one of the guys who was the face of the Marlboro Man.
 

The Claims Of Being The First One Is Disputed As There Are Several Of Believe They Are The First
 
Now let’s get to the film.
 
We begin with bad opening credits.
 

Yep….That Swirl In The Background Is All You Get
 
We then go to a car driving on a dark road for some reason before we meet our main character Martin Gordon and his newly married wife Brett Gordon.
 

Vic Savage Is Too Tired To Answer Why His Wife’s Name Is Brett
 
The narration explains that they have been married for two weeks and are returning home from their honeymoon. Martin is also senior deputy to the sheriff, who is his uncle and named Ben.
 

Yeah….Sorry Spider Man, But I Think You Know Where This Is Going
 
And by the way, this narration goes over while the characters are talking because as I mentioned, Vic really didn’t care enough to make sure you could hear the characters when they are talking so this narration is going to have to most of the time drone over them. Then we get very crappy scenes of something flying through the sky (I guess) and a rocket that looks nothing like the space craft that we will see later landing (or going in reverse from when it launched because we didn’t have landing space craft like that yet.
 

Looks Like It Was Also Filmed On A TV Too
 
The county forest ranger had apparently notified the sheriff of this happening as for some reason, nobody besides him noticed this space craft landing.
 

Yep….That’s Our Poor Sheriff Ben On The Phone
 
He tells the cigarette smoking Deputy Barney to call medical support for the area of the landing and get some air authority from San Francisco.
 

Sadly This Deputy Will Not Be Nipping Anything In The Bud
 
We go to the landed spacecraft and our Creeping Terror comes out of it.
 

Bahahahahahahaha…..That’s Seriously Our Monster???
 

Next Thing This Movie Is Going To Do Is Tell Me This Is A Real Horse
 
Oh I’m not done yet….
 

This Is A Better Costume Than What I Am Seeing Right Now
 
Now I’m done…..for now
 
Ben while heading to the scene, meets up with Martin and Brett (still can’t believe that’s his wife’s name) and tells them to follow him. They find the vehicle of the forest ranger, but no ranger around. They talk and wonder what it is as the sheriff things it may be a missile. Ben sees a hat on the ground that belonged to the ranger, but again no ranger.
 
The sheriff tells Martin to go get his flashlight and afterwards, Ben decides to go inside the craft.
 

Say So Long To Him Because As He Goes Inside, Screams And Gunshots Follow As Uncle Ben Is No More
 

Martin Looks Like He Didn’t Give Two Shits About This. Probably Was Not A Fan Of His Rice.
 
Martin goes with his wife and calls in for backup, but instead of more police, he gets a special army unit led by Colonel James Caldwell instead.
 

Actually, First They Got To Move This Tree Blocking The Road. And You See Every Bit Of This Time Waster

That Guy In The Darker Shirt Than The Others Is Colonel James Caldwell.
 
Two army men go inside and then back out to report of computers and a restrained creature.
 

Yes, The Creature That Supposedly Ate Uncle Ben Was A Restrained Creature So Basically Ben Was An Idiot With A Flashlight And Walked Right Up To The Creature So He Could Be Eaten
 
The colonel decided that this area nears to be cordoned off from the rest of the area and that they should set up a temporary headquarters at the sheriff’s station.
 
The next day, Col. Caldwell told Martin (who is now sheriff thanks to Ben no longer being around) that they had the situation in hand. They called Washington and the orders from them are that no one except anyone in the know is to know of this situation and they are sending Dr. Bradford to take control as he is the leading scientist in space emissions as well as having worked out a system of communication for if they should ever meet alien life. Martin is not happy about this, but Caldwell said orders are orders. Oh and we can’t let anyone know that people were killed as bereaved families were already paid for their silence.
 
Meanwhile, we see some random people making out.
 

The alien comes by and eats the woman who just lays there as the guy actually does the right thing and bravely runs away.
 

It’s Scenes Like These That Remind Me Of That Scene From Austin Powers Where They Guy Yells “Stop…..” For A Long Time Before Getting Flattened By A Steam Roller That Was Far Away And Moving Slowly.
 

Yeah….That Scene
 
Also the creature makes a lot of noises as he eats.
 
Back near the ship, Martin tells Barney to make news go around that the sheriff and the forest ranger went on a fishing trip to Canada so they wont be able to be reached. Oh and Martin doesn’t really tell his wife the whole story for reasons of not wanting to disturb her more than she already was. Then Dr. Bradford arrived.
 

Please Say Hello To William Thourlby, The Main Financier Who Ultimately Released This Film To Hopefully Get Some Money Back.
 
He had a hell of a time making this film ready for release because there was stuff that made no sense, the plot was at times hazy, and film reels were freaking missing. You really can’t blame the guy for trying to get his money back so ultimately, most of the blame (rightfully so) belongs to Vic Savage who ran such a shit show that even Ed Wood would look at him and say, “Jesus Christ….you suck at this.”
 
Anyway, Bradford gets very vague things about what was in the rocket and won’t himself go in until certain equipment had arrived. Bradford (from the way he was talking) seemed to consider this a great opportunity for all of mankind.
 

Not That Mankind!!!
 
Then we go to Brett washing dishes when she is surprised by Martin, as he and Barney snuck in from a late night. Drinks are made and we find out that Martin and Barney had been bachelor buddies, but now that Martin is married, he thinks Barney should too since they have been growing apart as friends. Oh and maybe Barney is a bit resentful of Brett for spending more time with Martin than he was. This is all a waste of time and feels like one of those damn PSAs from back in the day.
 

“How To Hang With Your Married Friend” Was Sadly A PSA Coronet Films Never Made, But Probably Should Have
 
The next day, Betty Johnson blew a kiss to her husband as he was going to work.
 

Sure Hope No Slow Moving Monster That I Can Easily Get Away From Doesn’t Kill Me. I Would Be A Laughing Stock If That Happened.
 
Betty goes back to the house to take care of her sick child.
 

Complete With Rectal Thermometer And All
 
Betty then goes out to hang up the laundry so it can dry and…..gets eaten by the monster.
 

Poor Sick Baby….Mama Done Left You All Alone After Getting Eaten And Only When Daddy Makes It Home From Work Will You Be Safe.
 
Elsewhere, we see a little boy named Bobby and his grandfather go fishing.
 

The kid goes for a walk, takes interest in a lizard, and sadly he is eaten by the creature.
 

The grandfather goes looking for the kid and only finds a piece of his shift, but he too gets eaten by the monster.
 

They Even Did The Whole Big Man Stuck In The Water Bit Too
 

Little John From Robin Hood: Men In Tights Did It Better
 
We go back to the sheriff’s office and Dr. Bradford explains that the creature came from beyond our solar system and the ship was composed of an alloy unlike any on Earth. He also believes that since there was no food on board, that the creature was in a suspended animation before coming to Earth. So far, he has had no success in communicating with the creature, but he has not exhausted all possibilities into that plan.
 
While out with the military and Dr. Bradford, Martin gets a call from Barney. Barney explains that he is up at Willow Creek because Mrs. Brown’s husband and grandson have gone missing. So of course. Martin orders a search party and because of security regulations, neither he nor the search party were allowed to come near the spacecraft. Dr. Bradford then tells Martin that he has a theory that the creature may have been created by the same people who made the spaceship, meaning it maybe more machine than intelligent life. Bradford still says he isn’t worried though.
 
Meanwhile, a hootenanny is happening.
 

The Film’s Words, Not Mine
 
A couple decides to go off for some alone time.
 

The creature comes by and eats them.
 

The rest of the group hears the screams and they get eaten as well, despite the best efforts of guitar guy.
 

Martin and Barney only find the guitar and some blankets. At this point, Martin believes that there must be another monster out there doing the eating. Col. Caldwell listened to Martin’s theory and called Washington about it. Washington told Caldwell that he should follow his own judgment on this one, but in no uncertain terms is he allowed to warn the populace. Because of this, Caldwell calls for county wide search for the monster on the loose.
 
But it is time for more padding as we go to the community dance hall, where people are dancing.
 

While intercut with Bradford looking at the controls inside the spaceship and the monster shambling towards the dance hall, this whole padding is barely less than 7 minutes long. While not as bad as the infamous rock climbing from The Lost Continent, it is a long time with nothing happening for a movie that is an hour and 16 minutes. But eventually, the monster gets there and it has a buffet of people to eat.
 

You Might Notice People Just Walking To Escape In One Exit (Despite There Being Several Ways To Escape) As That Is The Only Way The Creature Is Able To Rack Up A Body Count Here.
 
It also eats a drunk guy and another couple who were just freaking standing there.
 

While making out with Brett, Martin gets a call about the monster attacking the dance hall, which confirmed the theory that there was a monster already on the loose. The troops finally get orders to destroy the monster and Caldwell asks for Martin’s assistance. Unfortunately, other people are making out at Lover’s Lane and they get attacked by the monster.
 

The monster continues his assault and flips another car over.
 

He Then Eats The Dead People Inside
 
The military and Martin finally get to the monster and get ready to attack. Of course, Bradford comes in and says he wants the creature taken alive. The nameless army men then walk right up to the monster and open fire.
 

This does not work, but the soldiers keep advancing and you know what happens if you keep advancing towards the Creeping Terror?
 

It’s Just Going To Start Eating Your Men
 
Caldwell then grabs a grenade. Bradford tries to keep saying he wants the monster alive and Caldwell tells Bradford where he can go to hell. Bradford throws the grenade at the creature and the grenade explodes.
 

And The Creature Is Dead
 
Bradford, seeing the creature is dead, runs back and takes the truck to head back to the spacecraft. Martin and Brett go follow in their car. Bradford enters the spacecraft, but an explosion occurs.
 

Bradford runs out and is extremely burned. The second monster is now released and ate some more army people who just so happened to stay with the spacecraft while others were dealing with the first creature. The monster heads towards Bradford, but Martin is there to save the day as he runs it over.
 

He Did It For The People
 
The second creature is dead and Bradford tells Martin that the creatures are obviously just mobile laboratories meant to obtain data about the people and their weaknesses. That data would go through the computers and transmit to the space people who sent them, probably for an invasion.
 

 Martin goes inside the spacecraft and tries to bust the machines with his gun and a pipe so the data could not be transmitted.
 

He fails of course and the data gets transmitted. Martin comes out and says that he failed. Bradford was a bit pessimistic, but said maybe all was not lost as maybe the aliens who sent the mobile laboratories may have already died out, thus no one would be able to obtain the data or perhaps man will have advanced enough weaponry to repel the aliens should they arrive to Earth for an invasion. Bradford’s last words were “Only God Knows For Sure” and then he dies from his injuries.
 

If Only You Had A Marlboro Cigerette
 
As Martin and Brett hug while Martin looks at the skies, we then get a cut and a The End appears.
 

And The Movie Is Over
 
So because Mr. Thourlby had really no faith in this movie to just release to the Drive Ins and Second Run Theaters, there really is no data in how much this movie made back, but I doubt it could completely recover what was lost in making it. In 1976, it was sold as part of a package along with other films to TV stations for future airings and that is how it was eventually able to get into the hands of Mike and the bots for riffing on Season 6 of Mystery Science Theater, which is probably where most of you have even heard of this film. TV Guide calls the movie pure camp and named in the second worst movie ever made, only behind Plan 9 From Outer Space.
 
Unfortunately, we do have some deaths (that are known as not everyone has much of any profile). Through his wife in her tell all book about her life with Vic Savage that was released in 2009 (though aliases were used), we were able to find out that Vic Savage (who played Martin and was the director) died of liver failure in 1975 at the age of 41. Shannon O’Neill (who played Brett) passed away in 2012 at the age of….well, I don’t know as we don’t even know when she was born. William Thourlby (who played Dr. Bradford and was the main financier) left this mortal world in 2013 at the age of 89.
 
So for my final thoughts of this film. Though I definitely consider this a worse film than Plan 9 From Outer Space, I don’t even consider this even in my Top 10 worst films I have ever inducted onto this site. Yes, this movie is very boring (because of what the director did with the film), but I see this movie the way the writer intended it to be and not the way the director tried to make it, as an absurd comedy because literally, no one should really be able to be killed by this thing for as slow and shambling as it is. It’s like if you got run over by a damn turtle or slug. But if you hate this film, I completely understand. I’ll just be somewhere pretending to be this creature by putting myself under a huge blanket or a huge rug and then holding onto a pillow. It’s dumb….but hey, this creature is dumb too.
 
So time for what is next.
 

Unhappy Holidays To You, Jackass
 
I’m way too tired to be dealing with you anymore.
 
Well…too bad! And since this season is going to be a joyous occasion, I think you should instead deal with death.
 
What?
 
Yeah…a certain someone passed away recently and I think you should honor him by inducting a film I have chosen for you. Now I could choose the worse sequel, but I think you should start right at the beginning.