Monster Crap Inductee: Dracula 2000 (2000)

Monster Crap Inductee: Dracula 2000
Sadly, Dracula Does Not Kick Anyone Into The Pit Of Doom

 

2000

Well, it is once again time to go back to top literature vampire of all time in Dracula and last time we did a Dracula film, he was in freaking space with Casper Van Dien, Coolio, Erika Eleniak, and the late Tony “Tiny” Lister.

RIP….You Gave Us A Lot Of Enjoyment

But 4 years before that movie, we had Hollywood in the late 90s try to reinvent Dracula into the 21st Century with all the Hollywood glam of the late 90s because those who lived through it might remember, the year 2000 was a pretty big freaking deal. I mean we had stupid crap like the idea that the Y2K bug would kill us all, everyone wondering how futuristic things would be (spoiler: we overestimated how far we would come by a lot), and of course, the whole idea of naming everyone “Something 2000” or whatever. And thus this film came into existence, presented to us by Wes Craven

Now notice I said presented by, because despite all the taglines hyping his name with this film, he was only an executive producer on this film and mostly with a big name as an executive producer, it means someone paid them to put their name to the project and not much more. Yeah, the actual director of this film is one Patrick Lussier, whose only other directorial film was The Prophecy 3: The Ascent, which came out the same year as Dracula 2000.

For Those Who Don’t Know The Prophecy Films, The First Three Involved Christopher Walken Wrecking Havoc As The Angel Gabriel. It Was A Well Known (Kind Of Snickered At) Direct To Video Series. Maybe I’ll Induct One Of Those Films Someday.

And like I said, this film would decide to get some people you may have heard of or if you didn’t know their names, have seen in films like Omar Epps (who did a lot of Urban films that were popular), Jeri Ryan (who was doing Star Trek Voyager as the lovely Seven Of Nine), Christopher Plummer (who was a huge name since The Sound Of Music), Jonny Lee Miller (who was in Trainspotting as Ewan McGreggor’s pal), Jennifer Esposito (who broke out just a year ago in 1999’s The Summer Of Sam), Danny Masterson (who was Hyde on That 70s Show) and the big Hollywood debut of Colleen Ann Fitzpatrick better known as pop star Vitamin C.

Of course, you also have guys who would be in other Monster Crap films like Sean Patrick Thomas (who is in Halloween Resurrection),

And of course, Danny Masterson had a bit part in the How To Make A Monster remake.

Before Anyone Asks, I Will Talk More About Mr. Masterson’s Problems In The Aftermath Because Oh Boy, Do I Have Some Shit To Say There.

But the biggest thing they would get would be one no one would know about at the time because at this time, he was a relative unknown who wowed the filmmakers with his auditions and was given the role of the titular Dracula for this film. The name of that actor…..a young Gerard Butler.

We Will Get To This Actor’s Big Breaks When We Do This Film’s Aftermath.

But let’s not wait any longer and let’s get to Dracula 2000.

First, we find out it is from our pals at Dimension Films.

Makers Of Those Crappy Hellraiser Sequels

Then we get the title card.

We continue with the rest of the credits being the Demeter’s trip from Hungary to England.

If you read the book or know many of the Dracula media, you would know this is the ship Dracula would use to get from his castle in Transylvania to his castle in London. He would also use the crew of this ship as a snack for the long days so basically, they all got killed.

Like So…

Dracula got to England, but alas we need to stop and go to the present at the Carfax Antiques store.

Or Years Ago Now.

Inside, we meet Simon Shepard and his mentor/boss Matthew Van Helsing.

They are talking about a crossbow Simon got that is apparently from the 14^th Century. They make fun of Bram Stoker and Matthew wonders how his grandfather could inspire something out of that Dracula book. When Simon asks about the resale value, Matthew tells him this crossbow is not going to be resold as he wants to keep it for himself. We then meet Matthew’s secretary Solina.

Simon tries to hit on Solina, but she has no interest in him as she doesn’t date men who she works with, which is a new rule she put in since they did have a fling I guess, a month ago. Simon leaves feeling rejected while a young constable comes up to the establishment.

We soon find out that this is a disguise and that he is part of a group of bandits led by Marcus who take out the store’s security guards.

The guy in the constable outfit is named Trick and he basically shuts down security with his hacking skills.

The rest of the crew comes in like Nightshade, Eddie, and Dax.

You’ll See Dax Later When He Is Dead

They get into the vault and start looking for what they believe to be riches.

The thieves go inside looking for what they can steal. Meanwhile, Solina notices the safe unlocked and goes to investigate. She screams as she sees the skull with vampire teeth.

You would think with her stealth blown that she would be in trouble when the bandits find her, but it turns out she is in out this theft and we find out she has been going out with Marcus this whole time

Marcus is not happy they haven’t found any treasures worth stealing and have only found junk like crucifixes, skulls, and coffee cups. Solina says that they don’t build a safe this advanced without something you don’t want stolen.

Meanwhile, Matthew is in his office playing music and giving himself an injection of leech blood

Who The Hell Am I To Question What Stupid Shit Rich People Do? As Long As It Isn’t Hurting Anyone Human (That Leech Got Thrown In The Fireplace), All Is Fine.

Ooooh, That’s Good Leech Blood

Back in the vault pathways, Nightshade is wondering if they really should be bothering with this and Solina comes in, saying “what’s worth locking is worth taking”. So they bust the doors to the main room in this vault and find a silver coffin.

At first, most of the gang is completely upset that this is all that they found. But Marcus reasons that with the coffin being silver, the perfect place to hide something extremely valuable is this coffin.

Eddie moves the coffin off the table, but it is booby trapped and Eddie is impaled by spikes.

Bye Eddie…..Next Time I See You (Though Not Through Induction), You Get A Door Kicked In Your Face By Jason Voorhees.

Dax also dies as a wall of spikes gets him.

Yeah, He Was A Worthwhile Character

This sounds the alarm that alerts Matthew that someone is stealing his stuff in the vault. He then grabs his arsenal of weapons.

Unbeknownst to our thieves, the blood on the coffin is being sucked inside.

Because If They Saw That, They Arent Bringing That Coffin Anywhere As It Would Be Just Like Jordan Peele’s Upcoming Movie

That Indeed Would Be The Reaction

The thieves blow a hole in the wall and escape with the silver coffin, with Matthew hugely upset and considering the title of this movie, he isn’t upset that they stole his prized jewelry.

We then suddenly get MTV lights flickering music video vision as we are in and out of a guy wearing the iron mask, but it is all just a dream for our female heroine Mary Heller.

This Is Justine Waddell, Who This Was Supposed To Be Her Big Break Into Hollywood.

Mary wakes up in a cold sweat and is comforted by her roommate/friend/co-worker Lucy Westerman.

Hi, Vitamin C. Also, If You Know Anything About How Lucys Do In Dracula Films, You Probably Know Her Fate

Oh and most of this place will be taking place in New Orleans.

Very Much Pre-Hurricane Katrina And At This Point, You Might Be Able To Go To Jazzland Before It Becomes Six Flags New Orleans Before It Becomes An Abandoned Property.

Oh And It Is On Mardi Gras.

Mary and Lucy walk through New Orleans while getting looked at by guys. Lucy thinks Mary’s solution to her nightmares is getting laid.

Back in London, Simon comes in to see his boss preparing to leave and he wants no police in dealing with the theft last night as some of his holdings aren’t completely legal. He says that he wants Simon to run the business while he is gone, but Simon really wants to know what they took, but Matthew won’t give him any info on the matter. We then go to the plane ride that the thieves have booked for the Caymans. They are flying over America and Nightshade has been given the unenviable task of trying to get that silver coffin open. Nightshade cuts himself and that blood goes immediately into the coffin

Also Smoke Starts Coming Out Of The Coffin So Maybe Snoop Dogg Is In There

Oh Boy…..Late 90s/Early 00s Terrible Smoke CGI. It’s The Freaking Fog Remake All Over Again.

This smoke makes Nightshade realize that maybe if he turns one of the crosses on the coffin, the coffin will open, which it does.

Yeah….Somebody Was Definitely Smoking Weed In This Coffin And Since There Is One Body In It, Your Suspects Are Extremely Limited

Nightshade, instead of alerting the others that he got the coffin open, decides he is going to try and investigate. He accidentally gets a leech on his face.

Dumbass…

He gets the leech off and squishes it. He then tries to steal a jewel that is on the corpse, but then the corpse grabs and kills him.

The others hearing screaming and Trick is elected to go check it out. Trick finds Nightshade’s body in the coffin and is killed by the guy that was in the coffin.

Marcus and Solina wonder what is going on, but Trick’s body is thrown through the door and the two are now face to face with the monster that the accidentally have unleashed.

Through CGI, He Is Transformed Into This Clean Shaven Gerard Butler, Who Is Obviously Dracula.

Now here is what Gerard Butler looked like in the auditions that impressed everyone.

I See Why They Might Have Wanted To Change That Look A Little Bit, But Hey….Gary Oldman Made The Beard And Long Hair Look Enticing As Dracula To Women So Why Can’t Gerard Butler Here.

Hell, Jason Momoa Is Rocking That Look And You Can’t Tell Me That Women Find That Guy Attractive

Dracula uses his gaze to entrance Solina to come to him so he can turn her into a vampire.

Marcus starts shooting with one bullet hitting the ceiling (which pisses off the pilot) and it turns out those bullets do nothing.

However That One Accidental Bullet Hole To The Ceiling Does As Dracula Can’t Come At Them Thanks To The Sunlight.

Marcus tells the pilot to keep them in sunlight, but there is a huge problem coming there way.

That sunlight disappears and Marcus is killed.

Mary gets ready to go to work at Virgin Megastore when she sees Dracula killing Marcus somehow. The two eyes meet.

Dracula comes to look at Mary, but somehow Lucy entering the room stops Dracula from seeing Mary.

Don’t Ask Me How This Happens

Mary warns Lucy that she saw the face of the man in her nightmares and then the next scene, she goes to a confessional to tell her priest friend about all of this.

Hey Nathan Fillion. Yep, That Is Him In This Very Brief Role As This Was Only His Fourth Film Role.

Mary is here to ask the priest about her mother and the priest tells her confessions are confidential. But Mary insists, saying that Father David here, and her used to go to school together and were friends. Father David tells her that her mother never told him anything about her past.

At New Orleans airport, we see that Matthew Van Helsing has arrived. Matthew then sees news of a mysterious plane crash that crashed a few miles outside of New Orleans. We also see that news reporter Valarie Sharp is there to cover the plane crash. She then talks about how the plane crash had five deaths and they showed us footage of what happened to the pilot.

Basically The Same Thing Happened To Him That Happened To That Guy Who Was Steering The Demeter.

Matthew then sees that this plane is what he is looking for as he sees the silver coffin. The bodies have apparently been moved to the nearby town of Clarke so Matthew decides to head there. Oh and we also see that Matthew has been followed by Simon.

Back at the swamps, Valarie and her cameraman are filming addition footage for the bigger story about all of this for the 11 O’Clock News that every local station has during sunset. She starts making a joke about the bugs when something grabs her, but it is something that can’t be seen on camera.

It Also Gives Her A Cut On The Neck

The cameraman puts the camera down and sees that Dracula has Ms. Sharp.

Dracula lets Valarie go to hide in the van since he has decide that he is going to kill that camera guy. Dracula then rips out the van door and uses his gaze to entrance Valarie into becoming his second wife (with Sondra being the first).

We also see Mary having issues seeing Dracula again so she leaves Virgin Megastore. She tells Lucy before leaving much to Lucy’s befuddlement. We then go to the town of Clark as Matthew comes to the place where he has been told the bodies are being kept. Matthew prepares his weapons for battle and sees that 2 of the four bodies are not in their body bags.

Matthew also finds that Dracula is no longer in the coffin he meant to keep him prisoner. He is then startled when Simon shows up to confront him about what is going on.

Matthew goes to stake Solina in the heart, but Simon still not understanding of what is going on, stops him. However, Solina wakes up.

Solina then shows off some her new vampire leaping abilities as she runs away. Suddenly, Nightshade comes out to attack, saying he is sorry for what he is doing.

Matthew shoots Nightshade and tells Simon to shoot anything else that moves while he goes to take care of Solina. Nightshade then comes back to attack Simon, but Simon is ready and shoots him a few ties in the heart, killing him with Nightshade saying indignantly that he is sorry.

I’m Sure That’s How Danny Masterson Deals With His Legal Issues He Is Facing Right Now, Giving A Not Real Apology.

Simon calls for Matthew, but he hears the last of the body bags with a body moving. He goes to cut off the head, but the body of Marcus pops out of it.

And let’s just say that Omar Epps went from being very serious when he was human to completely hamming it up when he is a vampire. He goes to attack Simon when Simon shows the cross and Marcus has a great line about this.

Marcus: Sorry, Sport….I’m An Atheist

Of course the cross has a dagger and has a great comeback.

Simon: God loves you anyway.

He then stabs Marcus in the eye.

Marcus screams and jumps out the window. He runs into the street so he is done for now.

Meanwhile, Matthew finds Sondra and goes to kill her much to Sondra’s dismay, but Trick comes in to stop him.

Sondra then goes to Simon and tries to get him to join her. Matthew kills Trick via a spike to the neck

That Shouldn’t Kill Him.

He then impales Sondra to the wall via her shoulder.

Matthew wants Simon to cut off Sondra’s head, but he can’t as the police sirens come so they have to run. The police find Sondra and take her into custody.

In a ride in the SUV, Simon demands Matthew tell him what just happened in there. Matthew explains that he is actually Abraham Van Helsing (kept alive with Dracula’s blood thanks to the leeches) and that certain parts of the Dracula mythos are real as he found and stopped Dracula from killing people back in the day via a trap.

He also explains that he has tried to kill Dracula many ways, but unlike those he turns, he has not found a way to kill Dracula. He had Dracula locked in that silver coffin so he could not kill anyone else while he tries to find a way to kill him once and for all.

Van Helsing then reveals that Dracula is not in New Orleans by accident as his estranged daughter is also here, born from when Van Helsing and another woman got married and conceived her while Van Helsing had Dracula’s blood in him. The mother left Van Helsing when she found out all about Dracula’s blood being in her own child. This daughter is of course, Mary Heller.

He believes Dracula is after Mary because Mary has his blood.

We then go to Mary who is back in the church with Father David and explains her visions. Mary of course knows that the man in her visions (Dracula) wants her and her soul. She also doesn’t know if she has the strength to fight him when he comes for her. Father David says that she has to fight it no matter what. After seeing another image of Dracula, she runs off. We also see that Dracula is looking over the people of Mardi Gras and walks among them.

We see Solina being held in an investigation room talking to the men behind the one way mirror who she is not supposed to see, but of course she can.

Solina talks about how great it is to be a vampire before Dracula comes at the detective and the doctor, killing them.

Actually, Scratch That. Solina Kills The Detective And Dracula Kills Dr. Seward Here (Yeah, They Named This Doctor “Dr. Seward” As Another Nod To Bram Stoker’s Novel)

We go back to Mardi Gras as people are throwing beads and everything. Van Helsing goes to where he knows his daughter lives and Simon goes to the place where Mary works. A music video is playing on one of the TVs and Dracula watches.

He Really Likes All The Imagery And Pixelated Nudity (Seriously, The Nudity Is Pixelated)

See What I Mean. I Don’t Have To A Damn Bit Of Censorship That This Movie Hasn’t Already Done For Me

So Dracula decides that he is going to go into the Virgin Megastore. He gets oogled by several women before he sees Lucy who he somehow remembers from interrupting his weird ass vision for Mary

Yes, Somehow He Felt That Interruption Too

He talks to Lucy, telling her that he is looking for Mary. Lucy says she doesn’t know where Mary is, but thinks she can help him and introduces herself. Dracula does the suave kiss of the hand and we go directly to Lucy taking Dracula back to the house. Mary isn’t there either, but Lucy still invites him in. During their discussion, they ape a line that was said in 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula by saying Dracula doesn’t drink…..coffee. Dracula decides that he is definitely turning Lucy into his third wife after some love making from the bed to the freaking ceiling.

Oops….My Bad. I Do Have To Black Box Lucy’s Boobs.

Mary can somehow sense all of this and knows Dracula is at her house. Mary goes to check on Lucy and of course, Lucy isn’t there so Mary knows that Dracula has Lucy. Simon finds her and introduces himself as a friend of her dad’s. He mentions that her dad is looking for him and Mary leaves, not wanting anything to do with her dad or Simon. Simon then gets attacked by Marcus, who is somehow here looking for revenge for his eye.

It’s a very brief fight that Simon ends up winning as he stabs Marcus.

All The While Telling Him To “Never Ever Fuck With An Antiques Dealer”

Marcus gets back up, but Simon cuts his head off, with the head falling into a dumpster

Yeah, That’s A Bad Effect

Van Helsing finally arrives at Mary’s house and is met by Dracula. Dracula manhandles him and tells him that Van Helsing stole his blood and passed it to another which mean she is his. Van Helsing continues to tell Dracula he can never have his daughter and Dracula just beats him up some more.

We then go to Mary, who arrives at her house. Mary receives a phone call from Lucy, who tells her that she is with Mary’s father. Mary is upset by this and asks where Lucy is now, which Lucy responds she is exactly where Mary thinks she is. Mary grabs a baseball bat and heads upstairs. She sees something written in a foreign language in blood.

Mary enters Lucy’s room and first we get a bad jump scare with the electricity shorting out when she turns on the lights and then unveils the blankets to reveal some blood and something sticking through it in a stabbing motion. Mary then looks under the bed and finds the body of her father.

She doesn’t get too far in her desire to contact the police before Lucy attacks.

Of course, Lucy is upset that Mary had Dracula in her dreams and she never shared. Mary leaves after Lucy says that eating is better than chocolate and runs into a hall now decked in red.

As Mary stumbles around, Valerie shows up and is upset that somehow Mary is the one Dracula wants

Solina then shows up and says that she has Dracula’s blood essence.

The three vampire women reveal that they are the ones who killed Van Helsing and drank his blood. The women then disappear, but Dracula shows up. He chases her while turning into a wolf.

Mary runs out the front door and Simon shows up to shoot at Dracula.

Who Turns Into A Bunch Of Bats

Mary then tells Simon that Van Helsing is dead. They drive away as Mary reads her father’s journal that she somehow found. Simon says they need a safe place to hide and Mary says the church would be a good place.

In the church, Mary talks about how she thinks she may belong to Dracula and Simon tells her she does not. Simon tells her that Van Helsing saved him from a bad future and gave him a purpose to life, so he owes him a lot. Simon gives her the cross dagger in case she gets into any trouble. They then head to the library that is in this church and research as much as they can about Dracula. They talk about all the things Dracula and get to the silver (noting that it isn’t Christian in any way), while also realizing the foreign language written on the wall in blood was Aramaic. We then see that Dracula can enter this Church library with no problems.

So Much For The Church Being A Safe Space

Simon tries to shoot Dracula, but Dracula knocks the gun out of his hand and knocks him backwards.

I Don’t Think That Was Jonny Lee Miller Doing That Stunt

Simon then grabs the bible and holds it at Dracula. Dracula seems kind of insulted that someone would think a book would hold him back. Simon then opens the book and pages shoot out of it on fire, which annoys Dracula, but allows Mary to run into the graveyard and Simon to get his gun. Dracula then starts doing some parkour while jumping on top of monuments.

Parkour Dracula

Dracula is still looking for Mary while Simon arrives at the graveyard with his gun. Dracula finds Mary and before Simon gets there, Dracula disappears with Mary.

SUCKER!!!!!!

Simon is upset and goes through the Mardi Gras crowd (with more boobs since this is Mardi Gras after all) where he sees Solina.

Who Is Having A Meal From A Random Person

Then Lucy and Solina show up on a post to taunt Simon to follow them. Simon goes into an alley where he gets surprise attacked by Valerie while the other two watch. Valerie wonders if Simon ever wonder what it would be like to have sex with a TV star. Simon breaks the cross and kills Valerie.

Solina then knocks out Simon with his own gun. We go to Dracula and Mary on the roof of a place with a light up Jesus cross.

Sup…

Here we find out who Dracula was before being cursed as he turns Mary.

He Was Judas Iscariot Of The 12 Apostles. You Know, The One Who Betrayed Jesus Christ For Silver.

Yep…basically Judas’ betrayal caused him to be cursed by God (who while this is a New Testament story, went Old Testament on his ass) so that yeah, the simple act of hanging himself would not end his suffering. That’s why he hates silver and all things Christian. We go back to reality to see Dracula talking and taunting this light up Jesus cross. He says he drinks the blood of those he loves and gives them what they want, which is all the pleasure Jesus “denies them”. He says Jesus made the world in his image and now Dracula/Judas makes the world in his.

He beckons Mary to come to him and she does. They go into a greenhouse that is also on this roof as we see Solina and Lucy have tied up Simon.

Lucy and Solina both taunt Simon about Mary becoming like them. Dracula reveals that Simon has been saved for Mary so she can suck his blood. Mary seemingly bites him and grabs the knife to cut off his head. As they prepare Simon for decapitation, Lucy realizes that Mary didn’t actually bite Simon, instead biting herself and putting blood on Simon’s neck to make it look like a bite. However, Mary cuts Lucy’s head off.

Lucy then stabs Dracula, but as we have established, that only pisses him off.

Also, She Stabbed Dracula In The Stomach. I Think Maxmillian From Vampire In Brooklyn (A Movie I Will Get To Some Day) Would Have Quite A Rant About This.

Simon gets free and fights Solina as Mary fights Dracula, who is upset that she is trying to teach him about betrayal. Solina tries to shoot Simon with the silver gun, but she seems to have gone to the Stormtrooper Class Of Aiming and can’t hit Simon to save her life. She then has Simon at point blank range, but she freaking ran out of ammo. Solina starts strangling Simon, but Simon finds some hedge clippers and cuts off Solina’s head.

Dracula taunts Mary about how he will never ask for God’s forgiveness after all he has been through. Mary says that that God still loves him, Dracula says that if he still loves Mary as well, she should go back to God and see if God will still have her. He throws her into the Jesus cross.

Simon causes a distraction and Mary puts some wires around his neck as they fall together. Dracula is once again in a hanging position…

So Dracula is hanging and the light up Jesus cross is looking down on him.

We’ve Been Here Before, Haven’t We???

The sun also rises and Dracula lets Mary fall. Afterwards, he tells Mary that he releases her from his curse.

So Mary Is Human Once Again

Now that Dracula is the only one who will suffer from the sunlight, Dracula burns as the sun is out

Mary then writes in the Van Helsing diaries that Judas tried to kill himself for his sins, but was denied. However this time the rope didn’t break and Dracula/Judas is back to his coffin.

Mary says she is now the keeper of what remains and it will now be her job to make sure Dracula never escapes again. Also she now calls herself Mary Van Helsing. And that is the end of this movie.

So how did this film do once released? Well, it was savaged by critics and did not make back its $54 million budget. Rock musician turned director Rob Zombie recently called it the worst horror film he has ever seen (although considering some of the films he released, I really wouldn’t hold my breath on his opinion). But don’t let that stop director Patrick Lussier as he made to direct to video sequels to this film with both starring Jason Scott Lee (maybe I will get to those at some point).

As far as the cast, Jonny Lee Miller (who played Simon) would be in the Trainspotting sequel T2, in episodes of the tv series Dexter and would star in the TV series Elementary. Christopher Plummer (who played Matthew/Abraham Van Helsing) would still be in plenty of big movies and is the oldest actor (at 82) to get a competitive Oscar for his supporting role in Beginners. Jennifer Esposito (who played Solina) has gone on to do mostly TV work like Blue Bloods, NCIS, Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, The Boys, and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (her character is now married to Ice T’s character), and she was in the Academy Award winning film for Best Picture in 2006 called Crash. Omar Epps (who played Marcus) would also be in a much better received film in Love & Basketball as be on the huge hit TV series House as one of the doctors who always bickered with Hugh Laurie’s title character. Sean Patrick Thomas (who was Trick) was in Save The Last Dance and the Barbershop films. Jeri Ryan (who played Valerie) has mostly been a special guest star (still living off the fame of Seven Of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager) and was Sonya Blade in the Mortal Kombat: Legacy series. Nathan Fillion (who played Father David) was in the cult TV series Firefly (which only got one series, but got a hit movie in Firefly), was in the hit TV series Castle, was in movies like Slither, and is basically a TV star. Lochlyn Munroe (who was Eddie) was in Scary Movie the same year this came out, was in Freddy vs. Jason, and is now on the hit show Riverdale as Hal Cooper.

But before I get to the star who greatly went on to better things after this film, I have to start with the actor who is now revealed to be a huge piece of shit. But before I get into that, let’s talk about a miss from the induction of Spice World. I may have forgotten that there was a scene where the Spice Girls were singing with a bunch of guys in assless chaps that just ended. However, it ended abruptly there because they had to cut out a cameo from a certain Gary Glitter. It wouldn’t have been a problem, but shortly before the film was released, Gary was arrested for child pornography so the scene was thankfully cut. Gary has gone on to be a bigger rapist and is now in prison in Vietnam because he did the same shit to kids there. But back to who is the piece of shit in this movie.

Danny Masterson (who played Nightshade) still was on That 70s Show until that show ended and was doing good in the Netflix series The Ranch…………..until he finally got revealed to be a huge rapist. In 2017, five women accused Danny of sexual assault and because of that, he was fired from his job on The Ranch. In 2019, four women accused him and the Church of Scientology (yeah, he is a scientologist) of stalking and harassment, including of the accuser saying a scientologist on the orders of the Church poisoned her freaking dog to death. In 2020, those scientologists supposedly poisoned another dog to death and Danny was finally charged with three counts of rape. This year, he has pleaded not guilty to the charges and the judge has made him give up his passport as well as make sure he can’t even leave the freaking state. Let’s just say the Danny Masterson saga has put Scientology in an even more negative light. So yeah, complete piece of shit right there and deserving of all that is coming to him. And the less said about Harvey Weinstein (one of the producers), the better.

But let’s get out of the negative and talk about the guy in this movie who made it huge to become one of the most bankable stars today in Gerard Butler (who played Dracula/Judas). This might surprise you, but what he is today was not a sure thing as he had this terrible film and then he would be proven to be not a good singer, which wouldn’t be a problem EXCEPT when you are given the title role in the adaptation of the “Phantom Of The Opera” Broadway musical.

Yeah, Forcing Him To Sing As The Title Character Was A Mistake

However, he is proof that perseverance does pay off as in 2006, he would get his big break as King Leonidas in the hit movie 300. He has been in plenty of hit films (and some bombs that I might induct in the future) since getting his huge break and is a very bankable lead actor. He’s gone a long way since being in this film that many have forgotten.

And as always, we have to bring up those who have sadly passed away. Chris Lamon (who played Stakeman #4) was a stuntman and at the same year, died doing a stunt for the movie Exit Wounds. Jeff Hanneman (who had an uncredited role as a talking guy) left us at the age of 49 in 2013 due to liver failure. Wes Craven (the guy who is supposedly presenting this film) passed away in 2015 at the age of 76 due to brain cancer. Christopher Plummer (who played Matthew/Abraham Van Helsing) sadly passed away at the age of 91 in 2021 due to complications from a fall that caused a blow to his head.

Now for my final thoughts on the film and while it is not a good film, it is NOT the worst film of all time so Rob Zombie can suck it on that. It was a noble attempt to try and get Dracula into the modern world, but one that ultimately failed in execution. The effects and some of the acting are really bad. Gerard Butler tries his best as Dracula, but you really can’t take him seriously as a threat in this film other than he is Dracula. Christopher Plummer does bring his A game, but sadly that wasn’t enough. The best thing for this film is that it is completely forgotten by a lot of people because it truly is a film that just happened.

So only one last film left and Gus Richlen tells me it is the worst one he can think of so let’s see what it is.

I’ve Heard Of This Film So Let’s See If It Is As Bad As Told To Me.