Saturday, March 27, 2021

Monster Crap Inductee: Grizzly II: Revenge (2018)

Monster Crap Inductee: Grizzly II: Revenge
A Concert That Took 37 Years For A Grizzly To Destroy
 
1983/2021
 
Folks, we are in for a real treat. You might remember I talked about how I watched a workprint of the Grizzly 2 film that had not been released. I had seen it and wished it was a completed film. Well, after producer Suzanne Nagy (producer) complained and threatened lawsuits, that workprint disappeared and eventually, we got news that the film was finally completed. It was supposed to be released in 2020 (which is what I planned for my 200th induction to be), but unfortunately COVID happened and screwed up many things. But it has finally been released and with the hell in my personal life going on, I decided that I would forgo waiting until the end of the year to put this as a nominee for the GINO Award and just induct it immediately right now since most of it is a 1980 film.
 
So let’s talk about the backstory of this film. In 1976, William Girdler directed a film that would be called by critics “Jaws on land” in Grizzly. I have already inducted that movie and as many of you know, I enjoyed the hell out of it. So 5 years later, Suzanne Nagy and others decided that they need a sequel and what an interesting sequel idea it was. In this film, a mother grizzly bear who lost her baby due to poachers goes on a rampage and kills people, all the while a giant concert is going on. The film was being filmed Hungary and pretty quickly, shit started going downhill. First, the animatronic grizzly bear was having issues working (much like the animatronic shark was screwing up in Jaws) and was barely useable. Second, the main head of the studio funding the film, Edward Montoro, decided to flee to Mexico with a million dollars and disappear of the face of the Earth. Because of that, the studio funding it went out of business and eventually, the Hungarian Government (who were the ones who gave the permits) had to shut the film down and take everything, which was too bad as the film had small appearances by three actors who would be famous in George Clooney, Laura Dern, Timothy Spall, and Charlie Sheen (Charlie gave credit to the film for him getting his SAG card). It also had starring roles for Louis Fletcher, John Rhys-Davies, Deborah Foreman, along with others.
 
So now that the film is complete with new footage that was shot to “complete the film”, let’s see what the final product looks like (knowing full well that it is a Franken-Film).
 
We begin this film with current footage of the woods as we see some of the opening credits, showing how beautiful nature is. Heck, we even see a dude on a motorcycle standing up with no hands on the handles.
 
By The Way, Get Used To A Lot Of Padding Because That Is What The New Scenes Mostly Are There For.
 
We then go back to nature and see a guy in camouflage gear getting ready to hunt (or poach in this case as he is a poacher). Then we see bears like these two cubs wrestling.
 
But Not As Cool As Bear Kung Fu
 
We see a bear cub climbing a tree and of course, it gets shot and killed.
 

This of course upsets Mama Bear.


Or Mama Bear Is Taking A Hard Dump, Considering That Face
 
Mama Bear also gets shot and….
 
Filmmakers, It Didn’t Look Good The First Time So Why Would You Even Think It Would Look Better The Second Time.
 
The hunter runs away and we then get our opening title card.
 

Then we finally go to our film with our stars according to the DVD cover: George Clooney, Laura Dern, and Charlie Sheen.
 
And You Can Immediately Tell Which Stuff Was Filmed In The 80s And Which Stuff Was Filmed In The 2010s.
 
These three are Ron, Tina, and Lance. Ron and Tina are a couple while Lance is brother of one of them and is the third wheel. They are all also hikers and campers. They talk about meaningless things and of course miss the obvious sign that says they should not be here since it has bears.
 

So they all camp out and it is night time now.
 

Ron and Tina want to have sex and tell Lance to go somewhere else. Lance does so the couple start making out. We hear bear noises and suddenly, they are attacked and killed by a bear.
 
Don't Worry, Disco Bear Is Just Wondering If He Can Join You Two.
 
Lance comes by and sees his friends dead bodies. He of course also gets killed by the bear.
 
Sooty Is About To Perform A Magic Trick And Disappear Three Up And Coming Actors From The Rest Of The Movie. 

And That Is All You Will See Of George Clooney, Charlie Sheen, And Laura Dern Because Yeah, This Was Shot When They Weren’t Even Close To Being Famous Yet And Were Just Kill Fodder For This Film. Hope You Didn’t Expect Anything More When You Saw Their Names On The Header For The DVD.
 
We then go to the next day where Chief Park Ranger Nick Hollister talks to his subordinates about the upcoming concert coming to Grover Meadow and what jobs they will have during the event.
 

We also see his second in command of the rangers in Pete.
 

One of the subordinates wonders why the superintendent named Eilenne Draygon is allowing the concert to be in this park and guesses it is about money, to which Nick says no comment. Nick leaves in his vehicle to go to the stage and see what kind of security the stage manager Charlie Hill brought with him. We then immediately meet Elaine.
 

She tells whoever is on the other end of the phone that he may get to meet Senator Thorton at the rock concert because he is attending. We then meet three more people. The guy in the passenger seat and the lady in the back seat, I have no idea who they are. However, the person driving is the Director Of Bear Management Samantha Owens.
 

Basically, Samantha is telling the two people that you needn’t worry about the bears, just as long as you stay out of their territory (which the signs are there for) and don’t approach a grizzly. We can now also see that the guy is a reporter and the blonde is a camerawoman. We then meet the poacher who supposedly killed the bear cub in beginning.
 
You Can Basically Tell They Are Not Actually The Same Guy
 
The bear freaking kills his ass.
 
And Paddington Used To Be Such A Nice Bear Too
 
We then cut to a bunch of trucks coming by that are obviously there for distribution of stuff needed to set up the concert stage.
 
Ten-Four….We Seem To Be In A Franken-Film Called Grizzly II.
 
We then see the stage being built
 

In The Work Print, This Part And The Backstage Bits Were A Good Chunk Of The Movie.
 
And here is where we meet Charlie Hill.


Oh and we also meet a gofer named Chrissy.
 
Hi Deborah Foreman.
 
Of course, she basically has now been tasked with working the phones. We go back to another poacher named Drew on a motorcycle.
 

He finds the campsite of the poacher that was killed and also finds the dead poacher. He also finds the bear and he shoots at it.
 
Why Yes, It Is The Same Pic From Earlier With The Bear Being Upset. They Reuse Certain Shit Multiple Times For No Damn Reason.
 
We cut back to Eileene, who is at the concert and meets with Charlie. Elaine is not happy that the stage seems to be in disorder as she definitely needs this concert to be a hit for money reasons, of course. Charlie tells him that building a stage is like this and until it is time to start letting people in, it is like this when you have to make a stage from scratch. Charlie recommends she run the park while he runs the concert.
 
We cut to Drew riding away and he goes and meets the rest of the poaching team. We then find out that one of the poachers named Luke was the brother of the dead poacher.
 
With Some Really Bad Dubbing As You Can Hear Words But His Lips Arent Moving To Them.
 
Oh and that dead poacher’s name was Harvey. The guy who heads this team wonders how big the bear was. Drew says it was as big as this tree he is under.
 
This Tree That He Obviously Isn’t Under.
 
The leader talks about a bear that big could be worth a lot of money and is able to convince the others that they need to kill this bear for the money.
 
The Head Guy Is To The Left
 
We then go to Nick and Pete who find the body of Harvey. They talk about how the poacher was probably after bear gallbladder, which poachers sell to dealers in San Francisco’s China Town as some see it as an aphrodisiac (I’ve looked and bear gallbladder (aka bear bile) is used to medicate certain liver issues). They also find the bear cub and they know Samantha is going to be very upset over this. However, Nick knows they have to track and kill this beast.
 
A helicopter comes to the concert on its own helipad which Elaine is waiting at and Nick comes by in his vehicle as well. Nick wants to talk to Eilenne about the dead person that was killed by a grizzly, but Eilenne tells Nick to deal with it as that helicopter is for the people from Time Magazine that she is going to get an interview from. Yeah, she plays perfectly into the Mayor of Amity Beach cliché that many of these killer animal movies have.
 
Nick instead talks to Charlie and gives him a heads up on the situation. Charlie says he will get the required security needed to protect the concert and they have 50 men on security right now, although they do not have weapons of any kind. Oh and we also find out here that Chrissy is Nick’s daughter. Charlie says that he will keep an eye out for Chrissy in hopes she won’t get into any trouble. Nick then goes to Chrissy and says that if she has any problems from the people at this concert to call the ranger station.
 
After a random scene where the hunters want to build a pit, we go to the rangers station where Samantha is giving the guys tranquilizer darts to use on the bear so that whole killing the bear plan is not happening for now. We then go to the scene where the rangers find the dead bodies of the three teenagers from the beginning. They also realize here that they are dealing with a giant grizzly since they found broken branches from 18 feet off the ground. Pete mentions that they may have to call in Bouchard for this hunt and Samantha is against it considering how Bouchard is a bear killer. Nick goes to Eileene for the news and she still wants to grizzly crap kept under wraps and will not postpone the concert. Oh and she also isn’t giving him state troopers at all as she doesn’t want looking like a military operation.
 
I’m Surprised She Doesn’t Use The Line “A Big Concert Equals Big Concert Dollars And We Need Those Big Concert Dollars.”
 
The poachers decide to set up a campfire and drink. They talk about how the head ranger has a stick up his butt and how they need to be careful, as if he found Harvey’s body, he and his men might be looking for them. A minute later, Pete finds the poachers and they seem to be in trouble.
 

If you only see three of the poachers instead of four, there is a reason for that as the fourth one sneaks up on Pete and knocks him out with the butt of his gun.
 

They take Pete’s gun and walkie talkie and leave the scene. Unfortunately for Pete, the bear is waiting for him when he wakes up.
 
Barney Bear Wonders If You Enjoy Your Nap?

Pete is unarmed so he makes a run for it into a nearby cave. He tries to hide in the cave, but the bear kills him.
 
Or Based On How Terribly This Cut Is, The Cave Doesn’t Freaking Exist. Maybe Mor'du Did It...Who Knows?
 
Quite immediately, Nick and Samantha along with the other rangers find Pete’s body. Nick definitely thinks he met the poachers who disarmed him and are basically responsible for his murder. Samantha hates the poachers since they started this whole cycle of destruction and still wants to catch the bear alive although is more willing to have it killed than before.
 
Then, we get the most padding part of this movie in a montage of the forest that lasts several minutes.
 
Including What Really Happened To That Bear Cub That Got CGI Shot At The Beginning (It Climbed Down That Small Tree).
 
After that pointless montage of nothing, we go back to the movie. Nick and Samantha eventually arrive to find Bouchard after he has cut down a tree.
 
WITH HIS AXE!!!!
 
As expected with a guy of his name, Bouchard has a French accent. Samantha wants to leave immediately as she wants nothing to do with the guy, but Nick is persistent they use him to stop this bear. At first, Bouchard thinks this is a small grizzly bear not worth his time as he believes they have never seen a big grizzly, but when told of the size specs of the beast, he becomes very interested in getting it. He also tells them that they have a devil bear.
 
Not To Be Confused With The Demon Bear From Our Last Induction
 
We go back to the concert stage under construction as we see one of the singers doing a rehearsal.
 

Also a guy who tries to sell reefer gets kicked out because he is selling illegal drugs. A whole difference 37 years will make as now that stuff is pretty legal in several states, including a state I live in a few years.
 
He’s A Pointless Character
 
We see another rehearsal from more singers with haircuts that could only work in the 1980s.
 
It’s The 80s…..Doing Lots Of Coke And Vote For Ronald Reagan
 
We go back to Nick, Samantha, and Bouchard as Bouchard puts bear traps on the path that had been used by the bear in the past. Bouchard leads Nick and Samantha to his place where he is boiling a water so the bear traps do not have human smell to them. 
 
Oh These Guys Are Rangers Who Don’t Really Play Much Of A Part In This Film So They Are Nameless.
 
We then go to the poachers (who again, I don’t know the names of two of them) as they are making a pit with wooden stakes for the bear. After that, we cut to the first guy who was rehearsing is listening as he is jogging through the woods and listening to his own music on his headphones. The movie makes it seem like he is going to meet a bad end from the bear, but nope….that doesn’t even come close to happening. Instead, we get a scene that would be very confusing to you if you have NOT seen the workprint (so most people). Chrissy is waiting for this singer at his trailer and after Chrissy talks about how fun they had together, this singer decides that he is going to break up with her. He basically says he is a gypsy and all of these relationships that he has with someone are all a game, a laugh, and a joke. When she asks if she is a joke, the singer hesitates, but eventually says yes.
 

I remember in my review of the workprint saying that this whole subplot with Chrissy and this singer should have been cut in the final version and for the most part, it was. However, I said they should have cut the whole thing as it was pointless and leads to nothing. Yet they still have to do this breakup moment while cutting the whole thing where he even meets her and we have any inkling of a relationship happening. In the workprint, this whole romance is longer and was cut out except for this breakup so it leaves the audience completely confused as to what happened. If you were going to keep this breakup scene in the movie, then you probably should have kept part where they met and their was a sense of a romance, which was in longer versions of that rehearsal he was in backstage. And considering some of the stuff they added in (like the pointless montage and a freaking scene later) instead of even a bit of this romance, completely upsets me.
 
We see the poachers still looking for the bear on their motorcycles and then we see people coming for the concert.
 
And They Went All Out For This Concert…..Mostly Because Most Of This Was An Actual Concert In Hungary.
 
In fact, most of the concert footage was shot during a concert for the band Nazareth that was in Hungary at the same time. A lot of these fans had no idea they were even being shot for a movie or that several of the bands playing were fake bands because all they cared about was Nazareth and they were willing to listen to some of these other bands, even though they were fake (because they didn’t know any better). So when you see all this fan reaction, just know these people were definitely not in on this being a movie. By the way, you might have noticed I said most of the concert footage. Well, stay tuned because I have another confusing scene coming soon.
 
We see that Eileene has brought in some VIP to talk with the senator as the concert is going on. They were about to go see the fireworks display, but are told they are not allowed no matter who they are and Eileene takes that personally, asking for his name before leaving (you know, so she can complain to the higher ups later about it).
 
Meanwhile, Nick wants to check the other traps since they have been in this one place for hours, but Bouchard is insistent they stay here. We get more back and forth issues between Bouchard and Samantha as Bouchard is explaining how they killed grizzlies back in the day and she does not want to hear the suffering those bears faced. Bouchard tries to say that nature is always animal killing animal, but Samantha says they are not animals. Ummm….technically we are still animals as we are still part of the world’s fauna.
 
We get a performance from that lady band from earlier and this time they are singing about taking milk from a coconut.
 
Great Crowd….
 
Unfortunately some of the shots are of crowds from more recent concerts which is dumb.
 
Not Needed
 
Meanwhile, Samantha somehow is separate from the rest of the group and now is dealing with a grizzly. Samantha makes a run for it. She goes to up the cliffs, but sees Bouchard with his gun. Despite Sam’s objections, Bouchard shoots the bear and she yells at him that it was not the killer grizzly as it is a male grizzly.
 
What Did Bungle Ever Do To You?
 
She calls Bouchard a murdering butcher and Bouchard tells both Samantha and Nick they can go as he will deal with this killer bear on his own. We go to more concert footage and then we go to the poachers. One of the poachers (named Steve) talks about how the pit idea was a Bouchard idea and that Bouchard’s wife and kids were killed by a grizzly. You know, Bouchard should probably have mentioned that beforehand as this definitely makes Sam look like a huge bitch for calling him a murderer and butcher of bears for no reason. We then go back to the concert and backstage, Nick tells his daughter Chrissy that since it is after midnight, she needs to go home and that since she is taking a ride with a friend, they should not take any back roads. Back to the concerts, we finally get that extremely bullshit scene where a current band not at the concert is playing in someone’s backyard and the filmmakers try to pretend that they are all part of this concert and the fans love them.
 
I Don’t Know Who Owed Someone On This Band Something And This Was To Pay Them Back, But This Band Is So Not Needed And It Completely Ruins The Flow Of This Concert. They’re Not Even Playing Any Music That Would Be Accepted By This Crowd.
 
Back to the poachers at night, and we see one of the poachers is talking to a dead rabbit.
 
Didn’t Know We’d Get An Appearance From Peter Rabbit Here. Peter’s Seen Much Better Days Though.
 
The killer grizzly shows up and Luke gets accidentally shot by one of the poachers and Luke falls into the pit and get impaled by the spikes.
 
Well, Luke….You Will Get To See Your Brother Real Soon.
 
Bouchard gets to the poachers and finds they have all been killed by the bear.
 

Meanwhile, we see the bear going down a back road.
 
Apparently This Bear Is Banjo From The Banjo-Kazooie Series Has That Is Obviously A Car Driving.
 
More Issues Of Whether It Is Night Or Day, But Doesn't Matter As Flippy Bear Wants To Rock & Roll All Night.....And Party Every Day
 
The bear is obviously heading to the concert and rangers hear the bear’s roar. We go back to the concert and get to hear the big number that the singer that broke up with Chrissy was rehearsing earlier. Nick and Samantha are driving as fast as they can to get there. The bear now is at the area where the fireworks are and the fireworks somewhat bother the bear.
 
FIRE…..BAD!!!!!
 
The fireworks also hurt crew members as well.
 

Both Nick and Sam arrive and they crash the car.
 

Bouchard also arrives with a gun to face off with the bear.
 

Charlie sees the fire caused by the fireworks and goes down trying to put out the fire. They get Nick and Sam out of the car before it explodes.
 

Meanwhile, Bouchard tries shooting the bear, but that doesn’t work. He hides behind stuff and grabs an axe hoping to use that to kill the bear. He then sees the high voltage wires and decides that should be a better way to kill this bear. Nick sees this as well and decides to try and help Bouchard with luring the bear.
 
Is He Gonna Try To Kill Him With A Forklift?
 
Well, the bear sees that and knocks over the forklift with Nick inside.
 
Which Means No Forklift Killing. Aww....

Bouchard decides to climb onto the bear. He tries stabbing the bear, but the bear knocks him away and Bouchard is impaled on some pipes.
 

Rangers come and shoot the bear, but those really are not working. Nick decides to lure the bear to him and runs. He goes under the high voltage stuff and because the bear can’t fit in that hole the guy can, the bear goes straight through the concert wall, getting electrocuted to death. We don’t see what the bear did, but we hear all the carnage and we ultimately see the bear dead on the stage.
 
RIP Bobo The Bear
 
The senator asks Eileene if this is part of the show and of course, Eileene says yes. And that’s the end of the film. Yep, this whole thing is going to be swept under the rug.
 
So yeah, since there is no stuff on how much this movie grossed as a DVD so we won’t go there. As far as what happened to many afterwards. Many people in this film had fine careers despite this film. The three campers that were played by George Clooney, Laura Dern, and Charlie Sheen would all become huge names with Clooney and Dern winning Oscars for Supporting Roles in Marriage Story (Dern) and Syriana (Clooney) with Clooney also being in Best Picture film Argo. Sheen of course had a career of being on top, then fell off due to issues, then had a great role in Two and a Half Men before those issues reared their ugly head (Tiger Blood, anyone?) and he was fired. Deborah Raffin (who played Samantha) would become the love interest to Charles Bronson in Death Wish 3, which was her biggest role and also be Julie in Seventh Heaven for several years until 2005 when the show ended. John Rhys-Davies would get his big break in Raiders of the Lost Ark and would get his most well known role as Gimli in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Deborah Foreman (who played Chrissy) would get her big break in Valley Girl three years after all her scenes were shot for this film and would have a good genre career before deciding to retire for the most part from acting in 1991. 

Since this movie took 37 years to complete, you can basically guess that several people in this film died before this film was completed and released. Jack Starrett (who played the lead poacher Papas, who name was never given) passed away from kidney failure in 1989 at the age of 59. Andre Szots (the credited director who must have done all of the 80s footage) died in 2006 at the age of 68. Deborah Raffin died in 2012 at the age of 59 of leukemia. Dick Anthony Williams (who played Charlie) passed away in 2012 at the age of 77. Charles Young (who played the weed dealer (whose name is apparently Drew)) left this Earth also in 2012 at the age of 77.
 
So remember my thoughts when reviewing the workprint in that it probably should never be completed and should just instead be DVD extra for the Grizzly film? Well, I still stand by that after seeing this film. All of the new footage is absolute garbage and they cut stuff that really made certain scenes make no sense in context unless you watched the workprint. It really is a damn shame as this movie could have been something interesting and is a huge step down from the previous Grizzly film. In fact, even the workprint is better than this butchered Franken-film. I mean, it was lucky that they had three actors in bit parts that became huge stars. But like I said in the induction, you basically gave all their stuff away at the very beginning. So yeah, a pointless film that will be a huge disappointment if you ever see it.
 
Ha!!! I See You Finally Got That Done.
 
Yeah, it needed to get done so it was done.
 
You Being Positive??
 
Yeah, this was one I wanted to do.
 
Well, Let’s See If You Enjoy This Next One. It May Be Past The Holiday, But It Is Still March So Let’s Get A Certain Series Done With.
 


No comments:

Post a Comment