With 2020 thankfully over (NegaSeth enjoyed every bit of 2020), it is time for me to do the poll to determine which movie involving a monster was the worst by a majority of you, which gets the trusty GINO (Godzilla In Name Only) Award. And with how bad 2020 was (trust me, I'll get more into the year later), it seems only fitting that we have TWENTY nominees for you to decide and trust me, I wanted 22, but 2 films were liked enough to avoid the hammer (even though I despised them myself). So here are the 20 (like the year of this shithole) nominees.
No Worthy Time Will Be Spared With A Movie That Makes No Damn Sense And Has A Million Turns. That Doesnt Even Get Into The Efforts Of Corbin Bernsen, Judd Hirsch, & Lori Petty, Who Are Completely Wasted. Oh And Apparently There Is A Stonehenge In America, And It Is Also Filled With Pagan BS.
The Coronavirus And The Numerous Shutdowns Have Caused Several Movies To Be Released On A Streaming Service Instead Of Your Theaters. One Of Those Movies Is A Movie Based On A Popular British Book Series That Would Turn Out To Be A Complete Betrayal Of The Books They Are About Because Even Disney Didnt Know How To Make A Good Film Out Of A Character Who Is A Bad Guy Despite Being The Protagonist.
This Film....This Animated Film Is Probably One Of The Cheapest Pieces Of Garbage I Have Ever Seen. Many Scenes Have Characters Lip Flaps Not Match Watch They Say And That Make Sense Since MANY SCENES Are Just Earlier Scenes Repeated, But With New Dialogue. You Also Get Bigfoot Not Even Able To Close His Mouth All The Way As He Fights Aliens That They Only Once Say Are The Illuminati And Then Calling Them Something Else. There Is A Lot More Bullshit And Don't You Dare Ask Me To Do Trump Vs. The Illuminati (Which From What I Saw) Was Basically This Film With Slightly Different Dialogue And Shithead Donald Trump Instead Of Bigfoot Because I'm Not Doing That One.
Before Everything Closed Down, We Actually Still Got Some Trash In Theaters And This Movie That Tries To Get Vin Diesel Out Of His Fast & Furious Or Riddick Roles, Is Just The Last One Before Theaters Became A Dangerous Place To Go To And Many Closed Due To Very Many People Not Wanting To Get Sick. Once Again, Vin Diesel Does Not Have Much Range Outside Of Those Two Series And This Film Based On A Graphic Novel (With Some Laughable CGI) Shows That. Also The Villains Are Boring Too.
A Movie With A Very Stupid Twist Decides In The Sequel To Retcon Things So That The Doll Was Also Evil. With Terrible CGI And Sleepwalking Acting From People Like Katie Holmes, Brahms: The Boy 2 Was A Complete Joke To Anyone Even After They Saw The First Trailer. This Film Is Better Left Buried Where No One Can Track It Down Again.
Oh, You Heard Me Right. They Remade Castle Freak And If You Think The Original Castle Freak Was Good, Well....You Better Stay With The Original Film. As You Know, This Is Based On A Story By Lovecraft. Well, From What I Saw, The Only Thing These Filmmakers Know About Lovecraft Is His Stuff With Cthulu And The Old Ones Because That Shit Is Crammed Into A Film Based On A Story That Had None. In Fact, There Are Very VERY Few Films That Gave Me A Completely Disgusted Reaction To Watching It And This Was One Of Those That I Needed A Shower Afterwards.
Leave To Our Old Pal Charles Band To Strike Immediately When The Iron Is Hot And Exploit A Deadly Worldwide Pandemic As It Is Happening.....First With This Frankenfilm That Has Some New Footage Spliced In With Stock Footage Of Hell Of The Living Dead & Zombies Vs. Strippers With All New Terrible Dialogue Dubbed Over It. And The Best Part Is This Isn't Even The Worst Film Of The Year Involving The Two Full Moon Heroines Of Barbie And Kendrick As They Would Do A Sequel That Is Worse....But That Film Doesnt Have Zombies Really So That Will Only Be In The Worst Films Of 2020 List. But This Exploitation Garbage Of Real Life People's Lives Being Ruined.....That One Qualifies.
After The End Of Tony Stark In The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Many People Were Wondering What Robert Downey Jr. Would Do Next. Soon That Question Would Be Answered As He Would Become The Well Known Character Dr. Dolittle, Who Talks To The Animals. Unfortunately For Universal And Downey Jr., This Movie Extremely Underperformed And When You See The Film, You Can See The Horrible Result That Steered People Away From The Theaters Before COVID-19. Question: You Ever Wondered What Could Cause A Scottish Dragon To Be A Bit Irritated? Answer: You Really Don't Want To Know.
This Is A Film That Answers The Age Old Question Of What Would Happen If Elvis Went To Outer Space Instead Of Died Of A Heart Attack While In The Toilet. Well, If You Believe This Film, Elvis Doesnt Give A Shit About Any Of His Actual Family (Including An Actual Wife And Daughter (And Grandkid Now)) And Wants To Go To Earth To See So Fake Woman Who Is His Daughter Out Of Wedlock. Oh And He Also Wants To Be A Part Of Some Vegas Elvis Impersonator Contest. Despite Being A Betrayal To Elvis, This Film Was Able To Get Some Of Elvis' Friends To Somehow Be Involved.
Dammit Blumhouse....You Always Find A Way To Make Shit And Be On This Poll. This Time, You Decided To Take A Known TV Show From The Past (That Wasn't Horror By The Way) And Turn It Into A Horror Film With All The Charm Of The Original Show Gone, A Lackadaisical Explanation As To Why Things Are Happening (The Filmmakers Brought Back The Black Goo From Last Year's Black Christmas Shitfest), And Make One Of The Most Bullshit Bad Guy Reveals Of 2020 That Would Be Good....If You Had Not Watched Everything Leading Up To That Twist.
Ah Another In The Endless Run Of Hansel & Gretel Movies That For Some Reason, Must Be Made, But This One Has The Twist Of It Having Gretel Be Ahead Of Hansel In The Title And Gretel Being More A Main Character Than Before. Sadly The Film Is Rather Tedious And It Seems That Almost Every Guy Wants To Get Into Gretel's Pants...Even Though She Is Extremely Underage. While The Backstory Of The Witch Is Interesting, Everything About The Film Decides That It Wants More Style And Girl Power More Than Substance And Pacing.
Nicolas Cage, Tony Jaa, And An Alien Who Wants To Fight Or The World Ends....What More Could You Want? Well, A Better Lead Actor. A Better Comedy Relief, And Maybe Actual Jiu Jitsu. This Film Is An Attempt To Rip-off Predator And Mortal Kombat In A Stew Of Complete Crap. Despite Nic Cage And Tony Jaa Being The Two Faces Front And Center In The Poster, They Probably Only Have A Combined 20 Minutes In A 104 Minute Movie. Oh And Let's Not Forget That This Film Tries A Little Hardcore Henry At A Certain Point, But It Is So Haphazardly Cut Together That You Would Wonder If Kevin Dunn Cut The Film Together.
Oh You Knew This Was Coming. You Knew One Of These Days, Disney Was Going To Make One Of These Remakes That Was Going To Piss So Many People Off For Many Reasons Other Than "It Really Bastardizes The Original". Having A Thirty Dollar Pay Window To Also Go With The Money You Actually Spent For Your Disney Plus Because COVID-19 Said "Fuck Your Theater Experience"; Shooting Scenes In A Place Where Not To Far Way, The Evil Chinese Regime Is Holding Turkics; Having Your Lead Actor Be A Total Bitch About What China Is Doing To Hong Kong; No Dragon; And While Most Of The Cast Is Asian, The People Behind The Characters Were Mostly White. But That's Not Even Including The Actual Film Where Nothing Is Really Earned.
Movies About Pro Wrestling Can Be Entertaining Or They Can Completely Suck. As You Can Imagine With It Being Here, This Movie Sucks... This Movie (Like Another Crap Film Ready To Rumble) Has A Terrible Time Separating Between Kayfabe And Shoot, But This Time In The Even Worse Business Of Ultra Hardcore Wrestling. The Only Wrestlers In This Movie Are A Manager Who Was A Murdered Jobber In The Beginning And Jake Roberts, Who Only Gives Us His Voice And Nothing More. Oh And This Movie Has Pointless Child Death So That Is A Huge No No For Me.
In 2020, Hollywood Decided Once Again To Bring Back That Grudge Franchise Out Of The Mothballs From Straight To DVD Hell (Which Is What The Third Film Suffered) And Tried Once Again To Pass This Off As The Best Of Hollywood Mainstream Horror. Now While I Would Wait Until I Get To Past Films Before Adding This One, This Is A Side Story So It Is Not In Complete Connection To The Main Grudge Story. Oh And Like Plenty Of Films That Want To Pretend To Be Artsy, This Film Is Done In A None Linear Manner. But Of Course, That Doesnt Stop The Film From Doing The Same Old Scares That Were Tired Even Back Then.
Ladies And Gentleman, It Is The End Of Fox's Strangehold On The X-Men Franchise Because Fox Decided To Sell Their Film Studios To Disney. The Last Film Though Is This Very Drab Film That Even The Producers Knew Was Bad As They Delayed This Film For Years (Even Before The Whole Coronavirus Pandemic Made Delaying Your Movie More Acceptable). This Film Tries To Do The Unique Idea Of Being A Superhero Horror Film, But It Fails As It More Takes The Boring Parts Of Horror Films. The X-Men Franchise In Fox Deserved A Better Send Off, But Not Surprising Considering The Last Few Not Wolverine X-Men Films Have Been Huge Disasters. Oh And You Have Some Really Bad CGI And.......A Demon Bear.
Read The Damn Book It Is Based On (The Turning Of The Screw) Instead. This Adaptation Is Lifeless And When You Can Even Get An F On The Very Favorable Site Known As CinemaScore, You Know You Have Completely Failed. Mackenzie Davis And Finn Wolfhard Are Both Wasted In This Boring Film. Oh And The Final Twist Is A Huge Dick Punch To Everything You Saw Beforehand, Just Like The Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.
Before Watching This Film That Was Relegated To HBO Max When Theaters Closed Due To The Pandemic, I Watched The Original The Witches From Nicolas Roeg And Oh Boy, That Was A Huge Mistake. This Remake Directed By A Normally Good Director In Robert Zemeckis As Well As A Great Cast In Octavia Spencer, Chris Rock, Stanley Tucci, And Anne Hathaway, Fails To Be As Good As The Original Despite Having An Ending That Roald Dahl Would Approve Of. It's Biggest Flaw Is Its Reliance On CGI Over Practical Effects, Which Makes The Moments You Are Supposed To Be Afraid More Laughable Than Scary.
What The Hell Can I Say About This Film? So Many Star Trek Alumni And Snoop Dogg Are Wasted In This Film That Tries To Be A Trashy Fun Sci-Fi Movie And Goes Too Far For The Laughs That It Becomes Just Unfunny Trash. After I Saw This, Michael Madsen Joking Line While Being Annoyed With What Is Happening Fits It Perfectly In That He Is Going To Leave And Shoot Himself In The Face. A Movie That Took Four Years To Make Probably Should Have Stayed Buried Or At Least, It Should Have Stayed Far.....Away From My Radar.
Some People Enjoyed This Movie And Have It On Their "Best Of" Lists And To Be Honest, I Wish I Could Be One Of Those As Well As I Love The Genre Of Underwater Aliens Films Like The Abyss, Leviathan, Deep Star Six, And Others. Unfortunately, I Could Not Like This Film That Decided Instead Of Giving You Any Real Character Development, Just Throw You Straight Into The Deep End Immediately. Oh And By The Point This Film Was Released, TJ Miller Had More Than Been Revealed To Be A Piece Of Shit So Seeing Him In This Film Does Not Help Me Want To Like This Movie. Sorry, Kirsten Stewart, But This Film Was A Dud.
Poll ends January 16 at 12 AM.
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