Monster
Crap Inductee: Attack Of The Crab Monsters Grab
Them (Crab)Cakes
1957
To
bring an update on the interns, Chester has been adopted and Bella is back with
my brother and his family in Georgia.
Ahh
Roger Corman…your formula of always saving money on your films while making
movies with monsters will always make you full of precious induction material.
And thanks to the Summer of the Fans, we will be doing another Roger Corman
film, but unlike past ones….this one will be one that Roger Corman directed.
Yeah,
our boy Roger Corman was once a director before he became just a producer too.
In fact, Roger Corman directed 56 films between the 1955 to 1990, with his
first being 1955’s Five Guns West and his last being 1990’s Frankenstein
Unbound. But 2 years after his first film, Roger Corman would direct this film
about giant killer crabs with a budget of $70,000.
For
the cast, Roger would hire regulars for his films that would be in other Roger
Corman films (including Mel Welles, who was the flower shop owner in the
original Little Shop of Horrors) and only two who would do other things. But
with that all done, let’s get to the induction.
We
begin this film with…
Title
Card With Paintings Of Sea Monsters
We
then get a worded exposition about where we are about to go.
We
then get a shot of the globe.
Which
Is Round, You Dumbass Flat Earthers
Seems
Like A Beautiful Night At Sea
Oh
Goddammit, Who Forgot To Tell Us That A Nuclear Blast Was Happening Today? Now We’re
Radioactive….That Can’t Be Good Then
we have one the actors read bible scripture for some reason and then we go to a
crew of people landing on an atoll.
Obviously
Not Bikini Atoll Since We Done A Lot Of Nuclear Tests To Make That Island So
Unlivable, But One Close By Obviously. On
this boat are all of our characters that have names.
From
Left To Right (Faces Only): Dale Brewer, Martha Hunter, Jules Deveroux, Dr.
James Carson, & Dr. Karl Weigand Lt.
Quinlan shows up to explain that he feels a lack of welcome and thinks the
original missing team here are dead.
He
Has A Hat On Deveroux
thinks their souls may still be around and calls out for them, which gets no
response.
We
Also Now See The Guy In The Back Who Is The Mechanic, Hank Chapman. Most
of the team except Quinlan go to the research buildings as the lieutenant tries
to get the men with the rest of the cargo. One man falls into the water.
Okay…..The
Water Is No Way That Deep From Where That Guy Fell. But
of course this happens so a crab monster can come by and use his pincer to chop
the guy’s head off.
That
Guy Who Lost His Head Is Also The Writer Of This Movie, Charles P.
Griffith….Who Later On Directed Some Films Like Monster Crap Inductee “Up From
The Depths” We
then see our final two characters in this film in Seaman Ron Fellows and Seaman
Jack Sommers.
Oh
and we see that the island is full of crabs.
Get
The Hammer And Butter Ready Lt.
Quinlan tells the rest of the death of Seaman Tate and also doesn’t like it
here due to the lack of animal sounds. Weigard has questions about where the
last team went since not a piece of anything was found of them. Quinlan says
maybe they drowned when the typhoon hit (I guess a typhoon hit at some point). Our
cast of characters go back to the beach when an earthquake hits.
Damn
You, John Tenta… Seaman
Mac and another guy leave and promise to return in a month. James and Karl
think that before the earthquake, there was sounds of explosions so something
is going on. Seaman Ron and Seaman Jack ask Hank (who they assume is a
scientist) why the team needs them, which Hank quickly responds that he is a
mechanic and not a scientist.
I
Mean, I Can Make You A Geiger Counter Out Of Bamboo Easy Peasy He
also tells us that radioactive fallout from the first H-Bomb test in Bikini
Atoll came this way and the team is here to test the fallout. So everyone on
the island, enjoy cancer later on in life. The cast of that terrible film with
John Wayne as Genghis Khan could tell you that. Then we see the plane carrying
Lt. Quinlan leaving.
It
Explodes A
storm hits that night so the attempts to call HQ on what happened to Quinlan
don’t get through.
Hank
Is Probably Thinking Not Even His Coconut Radio Could Work Dale
says the navy will bring a rescue and Karl says that won’t happen as the navy
will assume with the storm that Quinlan stayed. Dale says that they should then
look over readings on the island while Hank tries to get in contact with HQ.
After reading some of the last guy who was here’s journal (including bits on a
5 foot earthworm that never shows up in this movie), they all decide to head to
bed. More explosion sounds and another tremor happens. As
most everyone went to bed, Dale and Karl start hearing crackling sounds. They
look outside and see a branch hitting the wall so they go back inside. The next
day, Martha goes into the water to collect sea samples. They try to make us
think she is in trouble, but when she turns around she sees a ray.
Better
Be Careful, One Of Those Things Killed The Crocodile Hunter Dale
shows up after a few minutes of looking around, they come back to dry land with
Martha talking about how when she went through she used a black rock as a
landmark and then the rock was gone when she went back. Dale then says he saw a
big black shape move near her, but couldn’t make out what it was. James and
Karl call down to them about finding something and when they all regroup where
the seamen are also with them, they show that they have found a new hole on the
island that wasn’t there a few hours ago.
They
think it is about 50 feet deep. James wants to go down there, but Karl is
against it. Dale makes Ron and Jack put lanterns around the pit so no one falls
in during night. That night, both Martha and James hear a voice of McClane
calling to them, saying that he is in the pit and they need to help him.
By
the way, the way the guy’s voice sounds…he doesn’t seem to be in any real
danger considering he supposedly survived a plane explosion so I don’t buy
this. But they do and they go to the edge of the pit…well, Martha isn’t, but
James decides that he is going to find out for sure via a rope down to the pit.
Another earthquake knocks out Martha and we only hear James scream while
looking at the rope.
Don’t
Worry, That Actor Had A Better Role To Do That Same Year So He Had To Leave
Quickly The
rest come by to check on the scream and see a knocked out Martha. Martha tells
them that James is in the pit and she thinks he may have fallen. They hear his
“voice” who says that his leg has been broken and that someone needs to come and
help him. Unfortunately for the voice, the rope may be too short so they have
to go via the caves and not the pit since they believe they both connect. Jules
tells Dale to take Martha back to the house while he, Hank, and Karl look for
James. Ron and Jack join the trio in searching for James as well. While
back at the house, Dale investigates some noise and get attacked by a crab
claw.
Dale
decides smartly to get away from that claw and back with Martha, but the claw
cut the power and destroyed the radio so now there is no way they can call for
help. Meanwhile in the caves, the search party finds the end of the rope and
blood, but no James. They decide that they will not be able to find James in
this darkness so they better go find him in the morning. The
next morning, they theorize why the creature did not go and kill Dale and
Martha and theorize that it has to do with electricity, which they think the
beast is afraid of. Martha says that when they came to this island, there was a
mountain nearby and today, it is gone. Karl believes that everything that has
happened on this island must be connected since it seems too much of a coincidence
for it to be otherwise. They
go back to the caves to see if they can find James when an earthquake happens
and Jules loses his hand.
Jules
screams and faints, which the rest of the group decides that it is time to
leave and get him some recovery. Ron and Jack show up and say they heard them
call, which they did not. Back at the house, Jules is not happy about losing
his hand as Martha gives him a sedative to help him sleep.
Wait…..I
Thought The Power Was Cut, How Do They Still Have Electricity???? Well,
that is sadly never explained (not even a backup generator explanation). Back
at the tent, Jack and Ron are playing cards when they get attacked from an
unforeseen force and their tent is destroyed.
Elsewhere,
Jules hears the voice of Ron and Jack, saying they have found James. Jules gets
up from his bed and asks where they are, which they respond that they are
outside. They then say that he has to be very quiet and without thinking about
that for even a second, he goes to the voices that are near the pit. He then
gets grabbed by a pincer and killed.
Kinda
Deserved This Death, Buddy Jules’
screams wakes everyone else up and Dale calls out to Jules. The voice of Jules
responds and says that he is okay. He says that the screams were from him in
his sleep, but of course, they checked his bed and he is not there. Karl asks
where he is and the voice says he is in the same place where all of them will
be and he will be back tomorrow night. Karl says that Jules is definitely dead,
but cannot explain why they all heard his voice. In
the morning, they all find the tent of Jack and Ron destroyed and the two
seamen missing. They also realize that most of the dynamite that the two had is
missing as well. They then pick up the explosives that are remaining and then
wait for the voice of Jules to speak to them again. That night, the voice
returns and says he would like all of them to see the remarkable thing that has
happened to him…in the caves the connect to the pit. James’ voice also shows up
and says that he is doing great as well. They then go while having some
equipment prepared for what they find. In
the caves, Dale, Hank, and Karl search with flashlights. Karl yells that they
are here and demands that the voices show themselves. They then find what they
have been talking to.
Yep….It’s
A Crab Monster They
shoot at it and throw explosives at it, but neither of those work. But a
cave-in does kill it.
Karl
then removes a pincer from the downed creature.
Great,
Now You Have Dinner For A Few Days. Oh
and by the way, there is a second one to (which everyone should have guessed
since the title says Crab Monsters, not Crab Monster.
Oh
No….Mr. Krabs Is Pissed They
set some dynamite and get the hell out of there. Jules’ voice says that they
have made a grave mistake as they just destroyed the voice of McClane and
James. Back at the house, they do experiments on the pincer.
They
conclude that the crab is a freak created by radiation. They also realize that
anything the crab eats will be assimilated into it, which is why we can hear
the voices of Jules and the others even though the crab monsters ate them. Hank
now asks why the crabs are blowing up the island, which is an easy answer in
that it gets to them. Oh and they realize that the crab that is still alive is
pregnant.
Congrats…..We
May Have A Whole Bunch Of Crabmen On The Island Hank
says that they have to kill it, but Karl is hesitant as he would rather capture
it and wants to do more experiments on it. Suddenly, Hank finds out that the
crab can be disintegrated by electricity.
They
suddenly then create a trap that involves electricity, as Hank says this is
easier to build than a modern airplane.
Now
I Need To Figure Out How To Make Shark Repellant. They Are Obviously A Lot
Tougher Than Crab Monsters. Of
course, Karl just wants to trap it and just wants to use it on one of the
entrances to trap it, which Martha says they will need to find a new one since
the old entrance is now underwater. An explosion than signals to them that the
crab is now using the dynamite so they must hurry. Don’t ask me how he is using
dynamite, just go along with it. They
send Hank and Martha in to go into one of the caves to set the trap. In the
cave, they find the crab sleeping.
Complete
With Snoring Sounds Hank
goes to try and take a sample. But of course the crab just so happens to wake
up so they better run. Through land and through water, this crab chases them.
The crab comes up onto land and Dale tries to shoot at it, knowing that it will
just annoy the beast. The crab yells at them that they have wounded him, but he
will grow a new one within a day. The
explosions continue and now the idea of capturing the beast is dead. Now Hank
has created a generator which they hope to use to call for help, although they
only have the receiver working and not the transmitter. We get more talk
between Martha and Hank and we see that Hank really has a crush on her, even
though Martha is seeing Dale. Meanwhile,
Karl and Dale find out that this island also has oil in it and now Karl wants
to see where the oil leads. They split up to follow the two oil streams, but
basically it means Karl is a dead man walking. When the crab comes, Dale is
able to escape, but Karl ends up setting off the electricity trap and
electrocuting himself into a state of temporary paralysis.
Dale,
Hank, and Martha try to get to him, but the crab gets there first and Karl is a
goner.
They
run while Dale lights the stream of oil, hoping to create a new cave-in to kill
the beast. \
This
of course doesn’t work and the crab telepathically taunts them by saying that
the fire will eventually burn out and he’ll be after them again. They get back
to the house and Hank sends a Morse code “S.O.S” to the navy. The crab then
telepathically says this plan wont work as once the ships get here, this island
will be gone, and with that, all evidence of the crab monsters’ existence so
they can plan the future invasion of mankind. The three of them get out of the
house before it is destroyed by the rising water.
Now
the only thing that is left is a small bit of island and the electronic
broadcast tower. They got grenades so it is time for a final stand against the
monster.
The
grenades do not work of course so it seems that it is all over. But Hank has
one final plan. Once the crab monster is under the tower, Hank pushes it and
himself onto the creature, sacrificing himself and killing the beast.
Both
Dale and Martha are sadden by Hank dying, but they know that Hank gave his life
to save them. The two hug and the movie just ends there.
Yep….It
Is That Abrupt On
a double bill with Not Of This Earth, this film made an estimated $1 million on
a $700,000 budget so the film definitely did good at the box office. Richard
Garland and Pamela Duncan (who played Dale and Martha) would go onto be in
another film together that same year called The Undead and most people might
remember Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing that film, with one riff being
used by several people including Linkara.
As
far as remaking the film, Jim Wynorski wanted to do so, but Roger Corman
actually said no since this one is too close to his heart. And considering
films that have been better, have been remade several times over…..that is
saying something. As
far as the cast doing actual other things, not much happened to most of them,
except for two. Richard H. Cutting (who played James) would have his biggest
hit the same year as this film in the hit musical film based on a Broadway play
South Pacific, which he played Admiral Keester. If you ever hear me make a joke
about everybody needing dames, you can blame this film and this musical number.
But
the bigger big break later on would come from Russell Johnson, and if you
hadn’t gotten some of the jokes I made with his character, he was in Gilligan’s
Island as the trusty Professor.
Unfortunately,
as with a film at this time, almost everyone in this film is no longer with us.
Richard Garland (who played Dale) had alcoholic problems that made his career
fade and in 1969 at the age of 41, he passed away from issues caused by them.
Richard H. Cutting (who played James) would pass away in 1972 at the age of 59
from kidney disease and uremia). Lesley Bradley (who played Karl) would die in
1974 at the age of 66. Robin Riley (who played an unnamed seaman) would die in
1983 at the age of 43. Tony Miller (who played Seaman Jack) would pass away in
1999 at the age of 72 from the combination of cancer and Parkinson’s Disease.
Pamela Duncan (who played Martha) retired from acting in 1964 and in 2005, she
passed away from complications due to a stroke at the age of 80. Mel Welles
(who played Jules) would suffer heart failure at the age of 81, which killed
him. Beech Dickerson (who did Seaman Ron and operated the crab pincer) would
die at the age of 81 in 2005. Charles B. Griffith (the screenwriter and the
person who played the seaman who got decapitated) would die in 2007, after
suffering a heart attack at the age of 77. Russell Johnson (who played Hank)
who die in 2014 at the age of 89 from kidney failure. Ed Nelson (who played Lt.
Quinlan) would pass away in 2014 at the age of 85 from congestive heart
failure. My
opinion of this film is sort of mixed. As far as watching it goes, it is an
easy watch at an hour and seven minutes with enjoyable cheesy effects and some
okay acting. However, having to write this induction was sort of a mess since
several stuff in this film makes no sense and goes freaking nowhere. But I will
say this, it was better this than the film I almost had to induct instead,
where I would have to make jokes all the while dealing with the fact that the
main actor is a serial rapist (so many tug of the collar moments there).
Now after several movies that were fun, maybe you people may get me and want to see me have some fun with these films. So let's see what enjoyable film you....
1957
