Monster
Crap Inductee: Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood
Evil
Makes Some All New Crap
2003
Well,
it is that time of the year to induct another Leprechaun movie and sadly, this
will be the last movie starring Warwick Davis, who has been an awesome
Leprechaun film. This is also the first movie to be made under the Lionsgate
studio and not under Trimark so no more of that great “Run” joke from previous
Leprechaun inductions.
And
that is why we are back in the hood for this film because of Lionsgate. You
see, the director wanted to make this movie set in the beach during Spring
Break, but Lionsgate was not going to give them the money to do so and told
them to go back to the urban environment because Leprechaun In The Hood did
decently in rental sales.
Now
with a title “Back 2 Tha Hood”, you would think this film would be a
continuation of the previous film and to that, I say. Nope…. Not a goddamn
continuation from the last film. Like previous Leprechaun films, they have no
past continuation. In fact, even the rules as to how to defeat this Leprechaun
will be different. So we have a movie called “Back 2 Tha Hood”, but it won’t be
back to anything continuous. So you should already see the problem with this
film.
Also
as far as people being in this movie other than Warwick Davis, well…..they got
rapper Sticky Fingaz involved, they cast one of the guys from the Wassup
Budweiser commercials, and one of the actors who we see early was in Dollman
vs. Demonic Toys so…..not good in the casting department. Well, let’s get to
the film.
We
begin this film with a robed lady opening a book called…
What
Else?
Apparently
some army laid siege on a king, but what they didn’t know is that king was in
league with creatures of the spiritual realm like leprechauns. These spirits
were made to guard the gold from evil and wicked men. At some point, that king’s
reign did come to an end and all leprechauns were allowed to leave and find
their home again. All went back except one, who was too attached to the gold
and would never leave without it.
And
Then We Get Our Title Card
We
then go to an urban construction site where a man is running with a shovel.
Apparently,
He Is Also A Preacher Based On That Collar.
And
He Likes To Partake In Some Of The Alcohol
And
this guy finds the end of the rainbow.
Of
course this preacher is not happy to find the end of that rainbow and tries to
destroy with his shovel.
Of
Course, That Doesn’t Work Against Rays Of Light
The
rainbow does finally leave and we learn through a demonic voice that this
preacher is Father Jacob. The Leprechaun finally shows up.
Jacob
tries to attack the Leprechaun with the shovel, but the Leprechaun trips him.
He tries again and gets slapped down.
Man,
You’re Weak
The
Leprechaun is of course looking for his gold and Jacob says it is gone and he
wont be able to find it. Of course, the Leprechaun reveals that the rainbow
always points to his treasure and Jacob says he will stop the creature from running
around in this world again. The preacher then reveals that he has some water
mixed with four leaf clovers and he uses it which hurts the Leprechaun.
Jacob
says the lord is on his side and the Leprechaun responds with a slash to the
man of the cloth. Jacob stabs at the Leprechaun with a knife bathed in the
clover water and finally does a chant while sprinkling the water on the
Leprechaun. The Leprechaun tries to plead with him to take it all as long as he
doesn’t send him back, but Jacob is insistent in getting rid of the green imp.
The Leprechaun then gets dragged to the underground.
Jacob
falls dead afterwards and we find out that this land is going to become a Youth
Center.
And
Boy Is That Some Shitty CGI Blood
Then
one year later…
We
see a guy hanging out with his motorcycle while other bikers pass him by.
We
then see a different guy with two ladies who detest him. They all are talking
about working at the new salon that opened up and when the two ladies mention
that it is a salon for women, the guy tries to talk about maybe working with
massages or bikini waxes.
Ladies
And Gentlemen, This Guy Will Be Your Annoying Ass Comic Relief
Oh
and we find out that the Youth Center will never be finished as the money that
would go to this youth center mysteriously vanished. They guess the project
died along with Father Jacob. One of the ladies wonders why when something good
is about to happen, someone always has to go and screw it up. We then see the
guy in the bike passing by with a girl in the back and one of the girls (named Emily)
used to date that guy. Then a bunch of guys in a lowrider come up to them.
The
guy driving is Watson and the guy riding shotgun is Cedric and our comic relief
character (named Jamie Davis) owes them money. They take whatever money Jamie
has and tell him that he has until the end of the week to get Watson the rest
of the money he owes and takes one of his shoes as well. They then drive away.
At
the salon, some fat ladies are making fun of Emily for having a dream of going
to college at Kent State. Then the lady who was riding with the biker earlier (named
Chanel) comes in demanding some service to her hair. We also see one of the
ladies being a lying woman in saying she wanted to look like Julia Roberts when
she wanted her hair to be curly. The boss tells Emily that if she doesn’t get
it together, she will be replaced.
We
see the guy on the bike (named Rory) getting hassled by Winston and his gang
because they think Rory is selling stuff on their turf. Rory leaves after
telling him he doesn’t want to fight Watson, but after hearing Cedric talking
trash about how week he is, Rory turns around and does a drive by with a bat to
his head.
Watson
wants to shoot Rory, but Rory gets away too quickly. Meanwhile, Jamie tries to
ask the light skinned lady (named Lisa) out on a date and she says no. Emily
and Lisa then try to go to school in Lisa’s car, but the car breaks down and a
tow truck takes it away, which means the two ladies will have to take the bus.
Emily then decides she wants to see a fortune teller about her future, which
Lisa only sadly goes along with.
The
fortune teller tells them that she sees great peril in their future. She also
sees wealth in her future, but it must be denied because if she takes that
wealth, it will come at a high price. Meanwhile, Jamie is smelling some of the
weed he has.
Yeah,
This Guy Is So Gonna Need To Die
Also
he is talking to his dog.
Seriously,
Why Aren’t Dead Yet
Oh
and Jamie happens to find a four leaf clover in his batch of weed. Then Jamie’s
mom is drinking and questioning if Jamie is talking to the dog again.
Jamie
goes to find Rory to talk about the clovers in Rory’s weed, but Rory denies it.
Jamie says he isn’t satisfied and wants a refund. Rory tells him to show him
the clovers, but Jamie forgot them at the house. He also calls Rory “Ninja” as
a replacement for the N-Word, which Rory finds stupid. Then a white guy shows
up.
He
buys some of Rory’s weed and says the N-Word and everyone looks at him for
saying it. The white guy says he thought they are cool, but Rory stops him and
tells him they don’t use that word anymore and instead say “Ninja”. Then we go
to Emily and Lisa having a cookout at the remains of the Youth Center that was
never finished.
Jamie
shows up and acts like an idiot. He gets the food and they ask how he can
afford all of this, he explains he had a little help and of course that help
was Rory. While Emily looks at the world and is upset about her ex-boyfriend
being at the cookout, the rainbow shows up.
Emily
sees this rainbow and basks in its color. The rainbow then disappears and Rory
shows up as he really wants to talk to Emily. Emily says they have nothing to
say to each other and Jamie still tries to make the moves on Lisa. We then find
out the Emily-Rory breakup was over Emily wanting a better life for him and
Rory resorting to selling drugs. Emily leaves, but falls into a pit.
While
down there, Emily finds a secret room and a chest. Rory gets down there thanks
to a rope and he finds Emily with the chest. They open it and find that it is
full of gold coins.
Back
at the house, Rory thinks each gold piece is worth $4,000-$5,000. They decide
the split the money four ways with Rory, Jamie, Emily, and Lisa each getting 50
coins. Emily tells Jamie that the gold is not for weed money. Unfortunately,
them finding the gold wakes up that evil Leprechaun.
We
then see Lisa buying a new car.
Emily
and Lisa have a spa day
Rory
buys a bunch of gifts for Chanel.
And
A Brand New Gun For Himself
Jamie
then goes with a bunch of cash and pays Winston the money he owes him.
Oh
And Buys A Crap Ton Of Weed
At
a party, Jamie is showing off all his bongs that he has to a friend. He allows
the friend to use one of the bongs while he has sex with some random girl. Rory
also shows up to this party with Chanel, despite Lisa and Emily also being
there. While the friend is smoking some weed, the Leprechaun shows up.
After
More Than A Third Of The Film Is Done, The Leprechaun Finally Shows Up Again
The
Leprechaun immediately smokes the bong with the friend.
The
Leprechaun falls down after smoking a bit as he is high as a kite. He gives the
Leprechaun the gold coin he found and the Leprechaun immediately recovers from
his high and wants to know where he got the gold. The friend is insulted that
the Leprechaun wants the gold and tells him to leave before he hits a midget.
He takes the bong and when the friend demands it back, he gets it back.
Into
His Stomach
The
friend dies and no rhymes here, the Leprechaun says, “Thanks for the smoke”.
Jamie is making a sandwich in the kitchen and we see the Leprechaun is still a
little high as he knocks into the shelf.
We
have more schtick where the Leprechaun takes something while Jamie’s back is
turned which ultimately leads to the Leprechaun getting trapped in the fridge.
Emily
and Lisa eventually find the dead guy.
And
The Party’s Ruined
They
also bust Jamie for having trash bags full of weed at the place.
I
Would Have Had That Exact Reaction As That Cop Did
Jamie,
being the idiot that he is, passes it off as his mom is Italian and likes a lot
of oregano in her pasta. Jamie is arrested and the cop tells Rory he should
know something since he has gotten around on these streets. Lisa then kisses
Jamie as he complains about not wanting to be a prison bitch.
Meanwhile,
Chanel turns one of the gold coins into a gold tooth.
Oh
You Know That Is Gonna Come Back To Bite Her In The Ass
The
next day, Watson and his gang see Rory getting weed from a big supplier of
theirs and they are not happy. Cedric wants to attack now, but Watson tells him
to hold on as he wants to attack this guy at the right time so it can be loud
and messy.
Meanwhile,
Emily on her last day has to give that same lying bitch a rub down. While she
goes to get some more oil, the Leprechaun comes by and thinks it is a great
idea to give this lady a massage himself.
For
No Reason Other Than Leprechaun Needs To Rub Down A Lady Who Farts
The
Leprechaun then starts to strangle her.
And
she is dead.
Emily
sees this and tries to run, but the Leprechaun corners her, wanting to kill
her. Emily gives the little green bastard a trimmer to the eye for his
troubles.
After
Emily is gone, the Leprechaun puts his eye back in.
Emily
runs up to Rory and Chanel warning them about the Leprechaun showing up and of
course, they do not believe her. Chanel even shows off her gold tooth. Jamie
shows up in a new car and some new jewelry still acting like an idiot and also
doesn’t believe this Leprechaun stuff. Rory leaves with the two as well and
Chanel is not happy about this.
Meanwhile,
Lisa is applying to Ramsey College (college isn’t real and the closest to it is
Anoka-Ramsey Community College and a part of Eastwick College that is in Ramsey,
New Jersey) while about to take a bath.
Oh
And She Already Botched It Since That First Full Name, Family Means Last Name
And Then They Ask Your First So Unless Her Name Is Duncan Lisa, It’s A Botch.
She
hears noises and after looking around, she sees nothing and is about to go back
to her bath, but the noises start again and the kitchen is a mess. She grabs a
cleaver and tries to call Emily, but the Leprechaun attacks.
She
gets the Leprechaun in the arm and tries again, but the Leprechaun grabs her.
She punches the Leprechaun and locks herself in the bathroom. She screams as
the Leprechaun is trying to get in. The Leprechaun busts a hole through the
door.
But
Lisa is ready with a lighter and an aerosol can. I think you’ve seen enough
movies to know what happens next.
Lisa
tries to call 911, but the Leprechaun attacks her again.
Rory,
Emily, and Jamie try to get there as Lisa is still having to fight the bastard.
Unfortunately for them, the Leprechaun does a fatality and jams his hand
through Lisa’s torso.
The
three find Lisa’s body and are very upset.
Back
at Jamie’s house, Emily wants to return the gold, but Rory is against it. Jamie
agrees with Emily and as they all give the gold pieces they have, they see that
Rory only has two pieces left, meaning he spent all of it and Emily is upset.
But here is the problem, we saw Emily, Jamie, and Lisa spent a lot of it too so
Rory spending more of it means nothing since we know this little monster is
gonna want all of it, not the portions you didn’t spend.
But
here is the good news. The chest does refill so as long as you just give the
chest back, the little bastard may let you go (I wish to highlight MAY because
I know enough films to know this Leprechaun is very greedy. Rory now wants them
all to just haul ass and go to Mexico, as if this Leprechaun follows US
jurisdiction. Emily takes the chest and says they are not spending any more
gold and Jamie agrees, which makes Rory mad, but after looking at a picture of
them as a couple four months ago, he agrees that they need to give the
Leprechaun back the chest.
As
Emily has a daydream about the fortune teller’s horror with a gold piece, she
comes back to see that Rory has left….and it seems he has taken the chest with
him. That night, Emily gets visited by the Leprechaun in her bed.
Emily:
This
Isn’t A Bed & Breakfast. This Is My House And You Are In My Bed!!!
Leprechaun:
Well,
This Is A Wee Bit Awkward
Emily
tries to explain how she doesn’t have the gold, but the Leprechaun knows that
and what he wants here is revenge for that trimmer to the eye. A fight occurs,
but Rory comes to the rescue on his bike with a baseball bat.
He
then runs over the Leprechaun with his motorcycle and gets Emily to come with
him.
The
next day, Chanel is calling Rory upset that he hasn’t called her back. Of
course after she leaves a message, the Leprechaun shows up and since you know
that Chanel made a gold tooth with one of the coins, you know what is gonna
happen.
Just
kidding, we all know that doesn’t kill him as he gets back up and rips that
gold tooth out of her mouth.
Emily
demands that he pull over as they are about to have an argument over the chest.
Of course the police are after them now. The cops arrest them after committing
some abuse as they think they stole the chest of gold. Oh, but the Leprechaun
shows up.
He
jams a flashlight into one of the cops.
The
other cop tries shooting at him, but that doesn’t do a damn thing and the
Leprechaun disarms him. They fight and the Leprechaun rips his leg off.
The
cop tries to go Monty Python Black Knight on this cop, but like that Black
Knight, he loses.
The
Leprechaun then attacks Emily and Rory, but all it accomplishes is now Rory is
no longer handcuffed (thanks Leprechaun teeth) and Emily shoots the Leprechaun
with a police shotgun. They ride away with the chest and the Leprechaun wakes
up after they leave.
Meanwhile,
Jamie (who has been gone for a while) is just smoking some weed when there is a
knock at the door. It is Rory and Emily and they get Jamie so they can finally
get rid of the chest when Watson and his gang return with automatic rifles.
They
steal the chest and Watson is about to shoot Rory when a police car shows up. Watson
puts away the gun, but we see that the Leprechaun used the cop’s severed leg to
drive.
Watson
finds this all hilarious. The Leprechaun demands his gold back, but gets interrupted
when Watson’s cell phone rings and Watson takes it. Yes, this Leprechaun is
getting ignored by a damn cell phone call.
After
he finishes the phone call, the Leprechaun takes a second to gather up all of
his restraints not to kill the guy right now and continues by demanding his
gold back. Winston then sucker punches the Leprechaun and wants to fight. The
Leprechaun gets back up and tells Watson that he hits like “a wee lass”.
Winston keeps punching the Leprechaun with the green guy just taking it.
Unfortunately, the Leprechaun was just tiring Watson out so when it is finally
the Leprechaun’s turn, he just rips his heart out.
Cedric
and the rest of the gang are all upset and shoot their automatic rifles at the
Leprechaun. The Leprechaun kills the other gang members and slashes Cedric’s
throat. The Leprechaun goes to confront Rory, but is run over by Emily, who is
driving Watson’s ride. Rory gets in and we have a bit of a chase where the
Leprechaun is under the car trying to get at them while the others are trying
to get him all the way run over. Unfortunately for the Leprechaun, this car is
a lowrider so it is able go up and down with the hydraulics.
They
finally get the Leprechaun off the car and drive away. The Leprechaun is about
to go after them, but somehow Watson’s phone travelled several blocks too as it
is ringing near the Leprechaun. The Leprechaun answers and after a few minutes,
it seems the lady on the phone is hitting on someone that she does not know is
a Leprechaun. She of course hangs up on him when she finds out that she is 3
foot 6 inches.
At
a parking lot, we have an argument and then hug between Rory and Jamie.
Emily
then reveals that she took them to the fortune teller to ask her how to kill
the Leprechaun. The fortune teller (after some bribing) reveals the whole
backstory and says the Leprechaun can only be stopped by his gold and four-leaf
clovers. Rory wonders where they will find one of those and Jamie remembers the
batch he was telling Rory about and showing him the four leaf clover evidence.
They wonder how they will get them inside the Leprechaun and Rory produces his
gun, which has hollow tipped bullets that he uses to put four leaf clover
residue in the bullets.
They
hole up and prepare for the Leprechaun as Jamie also has a bat. Emily and Rory
are about to kiss (signaling they got back together), but the Leprechaun breaks
down the door.
Rory
starts shooting and basically needs to unload all the bullets on him and after
three bullets, the Leprechaun begs for his life and tells them they can take
all the gold. Rory is about to fire again, but the gun jams (as do many Glocks
do in movies). Jamie hits the Leprechaun with the bat, but the Leprechaun
breaks it and stabs Jamie in the leg with it.
The
Leprechaun tries to go after Emily and Rory, but the fortune teller gets in the
way.
The
fortune teller uses some magic.
She
uses some magic, but the Leprechaun spouts red eyes and somehow this kills her.
The
chase continues to the top of the building. Eventually, Rory uses a steel pipe
to supposedly bludgeon the Leprechaun to death.
But
wait….that was not the way that was mentioned as to how to kill the Leprechaun
so you know he isn’t dead….despite the blood coming out of his head. So the
Leprechaun gets back up and knocks out Rory. He is about to kill Rory when
Emily grabs the chest and starts throwing gold coins into some conveniently
placed wet cement.
The
Leprechaun chases her as she runs away, telling him to come and get them. She
is cornered onto a moving elevator shaft so she electrocutes him with some
wires.
This
only allows her a short head start before the Leprechaun continues the chase
and admits that he likes her. They again have a confrontation in the room with
the furnace. Emily finally throws the chest into the furnace and then the
Leprechaun into the furnace after a small struggle. The Leprechaun and his gold
burn.
But
after she gets Rory back up and Rory reveals they didn’t kill him with the
clovers, the rainbow appears and we see the Leprechaun is still alive.
They
both fight the Leprechaun, but the Leprechaun knocks back Rory as he really
wants to kill Emily first for that fire. He throws her to the edge of the
building where she is only hanging on by her fingers.
But
as he is boasting about how it all ends the same for the humans who steal his
gold, Rory is finally able to unjam the Glock and shoots the final bullets into
the Leprechaun.
Rory
stops to get Emily up and then continues firing on the Leprechaun. It seems to
be the end, but he ran out of bullets. Emily then bashes him off the roof with
the chest and into the conveniently placed wet cement.
The
next day they ride off and kiss while a pick-up basketball game is going on in
the background.
And
that is the end.
Well,
it is for now and for 11 years, that was the last of it. And then Leprechaun: Origins
happened.
But
wait….they continued in 2018 with Leprechaun Returns, a continuation of the
events of the first film….
Well,
a few since Jennifer Aniston wasn’t returning as she completely distanced
herself from that film (and this film responded by killing her off before the
film even began). But the big one is like Leprechaun Origins, Warwick Davis was
not the Leprechaun. But unlike Leprechaun Origins, they didn’t do it because
they wanted their own star in the makeup (or suit in Origins case). You see,
Warwick Davis had kids and while he does like the Leprechaun series a lot, at
some point after this film, he basically decided that he wouldn’t be in any
more horror films until his youngest turns 18.
Now
my opinion of Leprechaun Returns is this……….I haven’t seen it yet. You see, I
didn’t know about this film until 2019 and well, I just haven’t gotten around
to seeing it yet. I’m sure I’ll see it eventually as I am sure that will be
next March’s induction.
And
someone actually went on to a better career after this and that was ironically
the guy who was in the Wassup Budweiser commercials, Laz Alonso (who played
Rory). He actually would get his big break in 2009 when he was in two hit films
that year: Fast & Furious (he played one of the main villains in the fourth
installment of the series) and Avatar (where he played Tsu’tey, the strongest
warrior of the Na’vi who was originally bethrothed to Neytiri). From there, he went
on to be in the movie Detroit as Congressman Conyers and the Amazon TV series
as Mother’s Milk.
We
also have Keesha Sharp (who played Chanel) who did a few things more recently
like be Buster Marshall in Marshall (2017 film about one of the cases that
Thurgood Marshall did before he went to the Supreme Court) and was Murtaugh’s
wife in the short-lived Lethal Weapon TV series (short because stars didn’t
stay on that show long).
My
opinion on this film is it definitely ends the series on a whimper and I can
only hope one day Warwick Davis returns to play the character once again as
this film is not the way he should retire the role on. This was boring, the CGI
was horrible, Lionsgate were pussies on several things, and well, the ending
felt too convenient. I wish that Leprechaun In The Hood ended this series since
it was the only one to let the Leprechaun win, but alas.
Well,
it sucks. But when dealing with you, what else is new?
Well,
since next month begins the summer of the fans, I get one last chance to hope
you suffer and what better way for you to suffer than to go back in time to the
1950s. And in the 1950s, we thought we could easily go to Venus at some point.
And the movie stars Zsa Zsa Gabor and a pre-Rawhide Eric Fleming. Enjoy…
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