A Killer Turkey Man Movie With Drugs And…Religion???
1972
Sometimes
in life, you just have to see another person reviewing a movie and go…that is a
film I have to induct. Such was the case when I saw The Cinema Snob reviewing a
movie called Blood Freak years ago. Now years later and thanks to a generous
donation nearly a year ago from a good egg named Gus Richlen (I might do
something for him later on to pay him back), I have finally seen the film and
am ready to induct Blood Freak.
At
first, you like I was thinking, hey…this movie has Steve Hawkes who was Tarzan.
Well, I would be half right. While he is a Tarzan like character in a few 60s
Spanish Language Tarzan movie (even called Tarzan in a few countries), he is
actually Zan because these were technically not real Tarzan movies as according
to Hawkes himself, the studio could not get the licensing rights to Tarzan from
the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate. Also, he only was “Tarzan” twice and there is
a very good reason for that which we will get into later. So, we have a not
real Tarzan in an exploitation film that tries to market that it has a Tarzan
in it. How did this happen?
Well,
not much is known about the making of this film, so your guess is as good as
mine. But somehow Steve Hawkes and Brad Grinter were able to make this 1972
exploitation film about drugs, religion (I don’t know why…maybe Steve Hawkes
was religious, who knows.), and turkeys. And for some strange reason they would
call it Blood Freak as if the idea of a killer turkey man was a bit too
embarrassing to market (which might have been true).
Hell,
Sometimes They Went Out Of Their Damn Way To Hide That It’s A Killer Turkey Man
And Pretend It Is A Vampire Film (Which I Can Assure You, It Is Not).
So,
let’s sit back and read about me watching Blood Freak.
Our
movie begins with boiling water.
And
now you get boiling red water that looks like blood.
We
then go to our film’s narrator who is smoking a cigarette and obviously reading
from script notes on the table as he talks to us about what a catalyst is.
Not
that I would be any better, but here’s the difference. I’m not on camera
reading this out to you.
So
as the rest of the credits roll, we see Steve Hawkes (playing Hershel, so I
will be calling him that through the rest of this movie) riding down the road
when he sees a woman on the side of the road having car trouble and thinking,
“Hey, She’s Pretty. I’m gonna help her.”
Oh,
and I have a feeling the film thinks we forgot that Steve Hawkes is starring in
this film because they post it again.
Oh,
and I do believe that the character Hershel’s name is based on Hershel Gordon
Lewis (director of films like Blood Feast, Wizard of Gore, and Two Thousand
Maniacs) so if you go my rarely used comments section to gripe at me for not
bringing this up without reading the whole induction, that’s on your dumb ass.
Back
to the movie, we never see them fix the car as she follows him on the road.
So,
after the credits finish, we cut to the next scene which is this pretty woman’s
house and she is showing Hershel around.
We
find out Angel is a nice person (based on her Christian upbringing) who has
people in the house doing drugs along with her sister (as they are the sister’s
friend).
Angel
admits that she is not into this drug business thanks to her Christian values,
but also because of her Christian values, she can’t exactly kick them out. She
asks Hershel if he does drugs, which he says no, so Angel asks him to not start
now.
After
introductions (and Angel trying to get Ann to stop doing drugs with zero luck),
Angel leaves to put away groceries. Hershel sits down with Ann and her friends
and a blonde woman sitting close tries to hit on Hershel.
Hershel
knows she has a boyfriend and says she shouldn’t be trying to hit on him. The
blonde woman says that doesn’t matter and God wouldn’t mind if she went to bed
with Hershel. Hershel is against this idea, so he calls her a tramp. This
blonde woman leaves Hershel in a huff and goes over to her boyfriend drug
dealer (named Guy).
Guy
sees that his blonde girlfriend is upset and asks what the problem is. The
blonde woman explains what Hershel said to her and Guy decides that he will get
back at Hershel somehow (because with Hershel the way he is, Guy can’t get his
revenge right now). Angel comes back and introduces Hershel to two of her and
Ann’s friends in Bob and Doris.
They
talk a bit about Angel’s Christian beliefs with Ann making snide remarks about
how her Christian values have become a drag to her. Hershel talks to Angel about the bible stuff
and seems very interested in the bible and its teachings. When Hershel brings
up adultery as a sin, Angel strangely talks about how God says we commit
adultery with sticks and stones. In my childhood of my mom trying to raise me
as a Catholic (I haven’t been one for a while), I have never EVER heard anyone
say that we commit adultery with sticks and stones. So that is how they get
around the whole adultery thing for most of this movie. Ann tries to play with
Hershel’s hair and basically signal that she is into him via non-verbal cues,
but Hershel isn’t interested.
Angel
then leaves and asks Hershel if he wants to come with her. Hershel wants to
come with Angel, but Ann wants Hershel to stay and is upset that he is more
interested in the bible than he is with her (don’t ask why Hershel would be
interested in Ann as from the beginning up to this point, Hershel seemed interested
in Angel). Hershel leaves and Angel and Ann talk. Ann is upset and believes
Angel is trying to ruin her life and is judging her for her drugs. Angel says
she isn’t and considering Angel has not kicked Ann out as well as her friends,
she really isn’t judging. Angel says that she just wants to help Ann through
this drug problem before it is too late. Ann says it probably is already too
late and Angel says that it isn’t. Angel offers Ann to come with them and get
help, but Ann says all she wants is Angel to go away.
Ann
goes over to Guy and is upset that Hershel seems to be not interested in her.
Guy then gives Ann stuff that will get someone hooked on drugs. And since Ann
doesn’t want to get her sister hooked, she decides she wants to get Hershel. Of
course, Guy is alright with that since you know, he needs to find a way to get
back at Hershel for insulting his girlfriend and lies about the drug he is
giving her won’t get someone hooked until they do six of whatever drug that he
is giving her.
We
go back to the narrator, who asks if we ever thing about the fantastic order of
things in life. He talks about the two beautiful girls that Hershel has met
with one being responsible, conservative, and concerned with how she can use
her time and efforts to benefit her fellow man while the other is the exact
opposite…or is she? And who are we to judge? He then talks about the strange things
that people will interpret from the bible. Hershel has a lot of things to be
grateful for, but how he reacts to things is what sets up the chain of events
that will happen to him.
So,
Angel introduces Hershel to another friend of her in a poultry farmer.
Hershel
talks about how he needs a job and the farmer just so happens to have use of
his services and basically says is it will entail some odd jobs around the
place until they figure out where they can use him best. Angel also offers Hershel
her and Ann’s place to stay until he gets off his feet, which he accepts. The
poultry farmer tells Hershel he can start working on the farm at the first of
the week.
The
next day, Hershel goes to work on the pool for some reason as Ann comes in with
a bikini and again tries to hit on him.
Hershel
still seems uninterested in Ann or the joint she is offering him to smoke with
her. That is until she asks how he can be such a coward for not smoking the
joint with her. Seriously, to prove he is not a coward, he grabs the joint and
smokes it. And gets hooked on the stuff while laughing with Ann like a giant
buffoon.
Ann
is also able to convince Hershel to sleep with her even though Hershel wishes
that Ann was more like Angel.
You
see, on the same year this film came out, Steve Hawkes would appear in a sequel
to his original (Tar)Zan film called Tarzan and the Brown Prince. Steve and the
actress who played Irula were doing a scene where they were tied down when as
with these lower productions, less safety is enforced which caused a mistake to
happen where some gasoline-soaked leaves caught on fire and Steve Hawkes got
90% of his body burned thanks to that mistake. It would probably have been
worse if not for the fact that there was a lion on set who was trained to free
the two from their binds at some point, actually did what it was trained to do
and gnawed at the ropes to free them from their binds and eventually get them
away from the fire. It was because of this lion’s efforts that Steve decided
that in his house in Florida, he would have a sanctuary for big cats (as he
felt this was how he was going to pay that lion back for saving his job. We’ll
get back to this later as this doesn’t have a happy ending.
Also,
the actress who played Irula in that Tarzan and the Brown Prince film, Kitty
Swan. As far as I or plenty of people know, her career ended after that
terrible accident as she would never act again. Just thought I would mention
that to let you know that being an actress in a low budget production is truly
dangerous.
Back
to the film, we go to the narrator as he says that any man who refuses
temptation from a woman like Ann, must be much LESS a man than Hershel. He then
spouts off that the paths of life are predictable, yet we repeat them again and
again.
Hershel
then gets dressed as we get to see a nice shot of Ann’s ass. Hershel is mad at
Ann as she didn’t set the alarm and he might be late to his new job at the
poultry farm. Hershel rides his bike to the farm and once inside the area, he
looks at all the turkeys as they gobble.
Then
we see Hershel try to play with some of the turkeys as well as make his own
gobble noises.
The
poultry farmer finally finds Hershel before he bothers the turkeys anymore, he
then introduces him to two scientists named Leonard and Steve, who are working
for an experiment involving turkeys. The scientists say Hershel will be doing
odd jobs around the lab and if he wants to make a little extra money, he will
be part of the experiments as a human guinea pig. The two say it isn’t
dangerous at all. Oh, and while the farmer is not a drug user, these two
scientists are and offer to give Hershel some of their supply if they help them
with the experiments, as well as the extra money. Well, with a deal like that,
Hershel easily accepts. One of the scientists tells Hershel to bring his
appetite tomorrow as they will begin the experiments.
We
then see Hershel working around the farm on getting eggs and catching a turkey
that was trying to escape.
That
night, Hershel gets home after a long day of work and is met by Ann. And we see
that Hershel is suffering from withdrawal.
Ann
calls Guy to get him over here and help Hershel get some drugs that he
apparently is now hooked on. Hershel then basically blackmails Gus by force
into giving him a steady supply of the stuff without cost as it’s his fault he
is hooked on the stuff.
The
next day, experiments begin as Hershel eats some experimental turkey.
He
eats a lot of turkey and he can’t eat another bite. He leaves as one of the
scientists cleans up after him. Hershel walks a bit away when he suddenly
passes out.
He
then starts having a seizure and one of the scientists notice this. But instead
of getting help, he and his buddy decide instead to drag Hershel off somewhere
else, so they can’t be implicated in any wrongdoing. All of this is also done
off-screen.
The
poultry farmer is a little upset about them dumping Hershel off-screen. He’s
also upset that yes, they did the experiment this early on Hershel and calls
the scientist a dumb bastard.
We
then cut to Ann with Bob and she talks about how it isn’t like Hershel to not
be home by now. Bob merely thinks Hershel has another source for his drugs and
is probably not home due to that.
Back
with the scientists, they think this whole experiment is getting out of hand
and decide that they are going to quit before the cops come looking for Hershel
since the poultry farm was the last place he was at.
So
that night, Hershel is still having the seizures and after a cut, he wakes up.
He goes back to see Ann, but Ann notices something extremely different about
it.
This
causes Ann to scream and faint. Now there are two problems that you will notice
in several pics. One, the lighting is extremely terrible, so you won’t see much
(although this having a smaller budget than AVP: Requiem, I will give this film
some slack on that that was and will not be given to AVP: Requiem). The other
is well, it wasn’t exactly easy to see out of that turkey head so Steve Hawkes
(as Hershel) will be fumbling around, hoping he doesn’t hit anything.
Thankfully,
Hershel can write since he can only make gobbling sound effects with his mouth
and is able to explain to Ann after she wakes up that it is him. Then Ann goes
into a rant, talking about this will be a lot to take in since she will wonder
what will happen if they have kids and how he is not necessary as attractive as
he used to be. Let’s just say this actress seems like she was reading off cue
cards.
Ann
is on the phone and is in tears over Hershel’s new transformation. We then go
to the narrator who says “Interesting”.
As
the narrator is talking about the despair over this situation, we see that Ann
was talking to Angel and Angel has now seen the new transformation of one
Hershel. The narrator says that in the despair, we turn to God, a source that
we scoff at when we are in a good place. But have caution and remember to be
careful what you pray for.
Ann
talks to Bob and another guy name Jim. The two haven’t been able to find
Hershel, but Ann says that Hershel came back and is here now. She says it’s
weird like out of Star Trek or the Twilight Zone. Bob asked if Ann has smoked
any opium lately, which Ann denies. She then tells the two to come see for
themselves. She then shows them Hershel and yeah…they see something is wrong.
Then
at night Hershel decides to go out. He goes to the house that has Guy and that
blonde from earlier. Hershel sees the blonde leaving the house and kidnaps her.
We
then hear screams, so I guess this blonde is dead.
Back
at Ann’s place, Jim and Bob say they will do all they can for Hershel, but
don’t know what they are going to do. They talk about Hershel’s drug habit and
Guy has apparently disappeared since Hershel had an issue with him. They all
think Guy was a creep and the only thing he was good for was his supply of
drugs. Ann thinks they should all take care of Hershel until he turns back to
normal, but Jim and Bob think he may be a danger.
Elsewhere,
a couple is doing drugs in a car when Hershel shows up. The lady gets out of
the car and is immediately kidnapped by Hershel.
Hershel
ties this woman in an upside-down crucifix. While another lady watches on in
horror having just had the unfortunate bad luck of coming upon this scene,
which is Hershel slitting the kidnapped woman’s throat and drinking the blood.
The other woman of course, screams.
Ann
wishes things could get back to normal but agrees with Jim and Bob that
something has to be done. She then sends Jim and Bob to go get Hershel.
Meanwhile. Hershel finds another random couple and once again kidnaps the girl.
Same
thing happens to her although this time, there is no witness.
A
random old guy shows up and tries to stop Hershel, but he gets some hands around
the throat and a death via strangulation for his trouble.
Someone
else sees the old man’s dead body and mourns over him.
He
tries to go after Hershel and is able to stab Hershel in his eye with Hershel’s
own blade
Hershel
or this random guy screams as Hershel grabs the blade from his eye and kills
his attacker with it.
Guy
finally shows up and tries to put the moves on Ann, but of course, Ann is not
interested. Guy doesn’t understand why Ann won’t put out anymore and Ann says
she is hung up on Hershel. Guy tries to say that Hershel isn’t as good as Ann
thinks he is and lies about seeing him with someone else last night. Ann
doesn’t believe him.
We
then see a supplier making some drugs when Guy calls him to get some drugs.
However, Guy owes this supplier money. Guy says he has the money and the
supplier heads to his place. The supplier comes by and big shock, Guy does not
have all the money he owes. However, Guy sees Ann sleeping and offers her up as
collateral. When the supplier sees her, he decides to give Guy his drugs and
starts to try and make the moves on Ann.
Ann
wakes up and wants to have nothing to do with this guy who she doesn’t know, so
the guy goes to rape and strangle her.
Hershel
comes by, but unfortunately, he comes late as Ann is dead. The supplier is in
fear now as he sees a pissed off Hershel.
The
supplier tries to run, but Hershel catches up to him and takes him to a saw
board.
You
might want to know that the actor playing this supplier is an actual amputee,
so you can predict what happens to him.
Hershel
is drinking the blood as the supplier bleeds to death. After losing the love of
his life and with no end to his dilemma in sight, all Hershel can do is pray
outside for it all to end.
And
he gets his wish as Jim and Bob come by and cuts his head off, which we see in
an actual turkey getting its head cut off.
Then
we see Hershel’s head on a table as people are eating turkey.
Now,
you would think that would be all for this movie, but no as this whole turkey
headed Hershel business…was all a dream.
It’s
also revealed that Hershel was already on drugs to deal with his issues from
Vietnam before Ann gave him that joint at the pool, so any blame to any one but
Hershel goes out the window. What we learn in a conversation between the
poultry farmer and the scientists is that Hershel being high had a bad reaction
with the chemicals in the turkey he ate, which caused the seizures. Hershel is
upset with the scientists that they conducted these experiments without him
there and tells them that they must never tell what happened here. The
scientists agree to keep their mouths shut, but after the farmer leaves, they
agree that they will also leave.
Angel
gets a phone call from the farmer, who explains Hershel had an episode at the
farm. Angel then calls Ann to tell her what happened. Ann blames herself for
Hershel’s situation and is worried about facing Hershel now when Angel goes to
pick him up, Angel says that if Hershel loves Ann, then he will understand. Ann
still won’t go because she is so sure that Hershel wouldn’t understand. Ann
then asks for Angel to speak on her behalf to Hershel.
That
night, Angel picks up Hershel from the farm. Angel tries to apologize for Ann
and Hershel is just upset. Angel says that Ann wouldn’t have given him the
joint if she knew he was addicted to drugs and says that Ann really does love
him. Angel says we all don’t know how things go, but we have to have faith.
Hershel says that all the faith he ever had, he lost. Angel says that Hershel
has to increase his faith and Hershel prays to God.
And
we go back to our narrator. He tells us to not ignore the warnings and that
this is a story based partly on fact and partly on probability. He also says
however, the horrors that occur in the minds of people who mix their bodies
with drugs and other chemicals are as real as the real horrors. Basically, he
is telling us that when we take into your body any drug or chemical, you risk
the untested reactions. Oh, and then our narrator talks about how the
government is now using drugs and chemicals in our food and water.
The
narrator tries to continue, but with him smoking that cigarette, he is subject
to a coughing fit.
We
then have the final scene of this movie having Ann and Hershel reunite and
embrace at the pier.
Now
let’s talk about the aftermath of this film, it wasn’t very liked with even the
star of this movie, Steve Hawkes, calling it “a sad chapter in his life”. There
isn’t much known about what happened to the cast and crew after this film and
while probably several people of this film have passed away, the only one I
could find was Brad Grinter (the director and narrator), who died in 1993 at
the age of 71.
Now
I know I mentioned earlier that I would talk about what happened with Steve
Hawkes big cat sanctuary and how it wasn’t a happy ending. Well, in July 13,
2004, his pet Bengal Tiger escaped the compound and ultimately was shot and
killed by authorities. 6 days later, his house caught on fire thanks to a
malfunctioning air conditioner, but they were able to extinguish the fire
without any loss of life to human or animal alike. Finally, in 2012, Hawkes
would be arrested, and his animals confiscated as he did not have a permit to
keep those animals at his place.
Onto
my final opinion on the film and let’s just say despite the insane ideas of a
turkey man, drugs, and religion, the film is very boring. It is also poorly lit
so at times, it was hard to see what was going on. The narrator bits were
completely needless and laughable as you could see the guy obviously looking
down to see what his next lines were. I would only recommend watching it once
for a curiosity sake and never seeing it again. I honestly wish this was
better, but ultimately…it’s just forgettable. And if I want to watch a
Thanksgiving horror film, I’ll just watch Thankskilling instead.
So…
Yeah,
it has and unfortunately you can’t be gloating about your Fantasy record
because you and I both have the same shitty record, which is surprisingly the
best in a bet full of shitty teams this year.
Maybe,
but I think it is time for me to reveal your December induction this year.
Wait,
when did we agree on that.
We
didn’t, but I have a feeling your hatred for this film is going to make you
want to induct this one.
Oh
really? What is it?
Let’s
just say it is a live action remake to a cartoon that you watch every December and is
deserving of your scorn.
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