Monster Crap Inductee: The Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty (2006)

Monster Crap Inductee: The Mummy’s Kiss 2^nd Dynasty

Okay, Who Read The Book Of Coming Forth By Day

2006

Well, after last month’s nightmare of an induction, I will almost take anything at this point. Well, I can’t take anything like shit like Uwe Boll’s Seed, The Thing prequel, Clash of the Titans remake, Monster A Go-Go…yeah, there is a lot of shit that I can’t take. But most of the time in dealing with these inductions that piss me off, I mostly end up with a film that is less bad than the film before it (well, there is that one time I had the misfortune of doing Zarkorr! The Invader and Transmorphers back to back). Will this be like those 50^th and 51^st induction or will it be like most inductions? Well, let’s find out…but before we do we have to get a few things done.

So, after doing the first Mummy’s Kiss, everyone knew that once the next run around of porn inductions came (which was quicker than I thought, but that’s Fantasy Football for you), I was going to have to cover the sequel and next time, I’ll probably have to watch the two Countess Dracula adult films, so I can get ready for the time after that of having the two Donald Glut adult film properties meet in Blood Scarab. Anyway, I was okay with the first film.

So, as with most porn films, a sequel was made 3 years later. And as far as the cast goes, they are a few people you would see in porn films (who are going to do the sex scenes) or people who are very good friends with Donald Glut that he could find work for. In fact, the only two actors who were in the first film were playing different background characters in Joe Baisur and Tony Clay. Even the mummy is played by a different actor behind the costume (yes, I said actor as in guy as while the first film was an actress, so they could do the transformation from the mummy to the beautiful Hor-Shep-Sut, this one never needed the transformation so it’s just a guy behind the costume). With all of this out of the way, it’s time to get wrapped up in The Mummy’s Kiss 2^nd Dynasty.

But one more thing, there is a certain female character named Belinda Gavin. In fact, this basically gives me an excuse to call in a cameo from Cyndi Seidelman from Game Show Garbage so what do you have, Cyndi?

Oh Belinda Gavin? Let me check my database…and ah, there she is. Belinda Gavin is known in two places. She is known as a bull rider who appeared on the revival of American Gladiators. While she didn’t make it far in the competition, she did hold her own in certain events. What she is better known for though is her other name of Kylie Wyotie. She is an adult star, according to the Porno Pete Phallic Pleasure scale is a 3 out of 5. Looks like you got some work cut out for ya.

4 Out Of 5 Actually.

Oh, I need to get the latest update. He does need to get his head straight about Nina Hartley. A legend and still beautiful and he gives her a 2? He’s insane. Nice being in one of these writeups. Now, I must go watch some Wheel of Fortune with Bob Goen.

Later….and now we begin this induction.

We begin with the opening credits.

And Immediately I Have To Do The Black Boxing

Those are the Potter Twins (or Starr Twins as IMDB calls them) and they just basically dance topless as the opening credits continue. All I need to say about them is they might have overdone it quite a bit with the glitter. They are also basically handmaidens for a goddess we will see later. Oh and the film says the horror effects were once again done by John Carl Buechler, which is half true. Most of the effects in this film were done by a company called BlaziQueFX, but since this film uses plenty of archive footage from the first film, you can say John Carl Buechler did those effects since he did the visuals for the first movie.

We illustrate that point by having the first thing shown is the scene from the first movie where Hor-Shep-Sut escapes, which kills one guard and turns another one into her slave. This story is being told by Professor Bramwell.

Played By Arthur Roberts, Who Is Normally In Plenty Of B Movies, But Has Dabbled A Bit As An Older Character In Some Porn Films. Kind Of Like Jay Richardson, Who We Have Seen In The Past In Attack Of The 50 Foot Centerfold And Teenage Cavegirl.

We see two attractive, but kind of bubbleheaded blondes arrive a bit late and sneak in so no one notices their tardiness.

We Then See Elyse Lam, our main character and a journalist for a tabloid paper.

Hi, Bikini Jones (Yeah, It’s The Same Actress).

We also meet Dr. Harold Craig and Dr. Zita Furneaux. One Is Played By An Older Person And One Is Played By A Younger Person Who Is Without Makeup And Has Graying Dye In The Hair. I’ll Give You A Hint To Guessing Which Is Which, The Younger Person Is Also Wearing Glasses.

Oh And The Guy Who Played Harold Craig Was Also The Invisible Man In Attack Of The 60 Foot Centerfold

Harold tries to hit on the waitress who asks if they want what is on her tray, but the waitress seems to be dismissive of him. We then meet a character named Renfield.

I Probably Should Have Inducted One Of The Dracula Porn Parodies This Director Has Done So You Don’t Get Completely Caught Off Guard By This Character As He Was A Returning Character From Those Two Films.

He asks a different waitress if they have any chocolate covered ants or scarabs, she seems disgusted by this idea and says they don’t. But not to worry, Renfield has some bugs with him, which he eats in front of her and she is disgusted. The waitress that Harold hit on earlier comes by Elisa and offers her some scones. Elyse asks why they have no tanna leaves, and the waitress wonders if it is some type of tea. Tanna Leaves are something that is very prominent in plenty of mummy movies (which are also fictional), so she just lets the waitress go on her way with a simple “nevermind”.

After all of that pointless crap is mentioned, Bramwell reveals a mummy that was in the Harwa storage and was uncovered by Harold and Zita, which is the mummy of Hor-Shep-Sut. Now other than the occasional archive footage, I will refer to it as the mummy and not Hor-Shep-Sut since as I mentioned earlier, it is played by a guy this time.

Elyse asks Bramwell if they are to believe the stories about mummies coming to life and while Bramwell admits it may be a bit far-fetched, he knows several people who he talked to from the event that swear on their lives that it did happen. One of the blonde bimbos asks if they are going to show the mummy, which Bramwell says he was wondering if they were never going to ask. So, we see the mummy in all its glory.

*Sigh* You’re Not Gonna Believe This, But Somehow This Movie Doesn’t Even Have The Same Mask. Actually, You May Believe That As This Replica Mask Looks Like Something That Was Haphazardly Thrown Together Quickly. John Carl Buechler Definitely Had Nothing To Do With The New Footage.

Bramwell then takes off the mask, which if you remember the first movie, would bring the mummy back to life. Elyse even questions this, but Bramwell states that he assures her that this mummy is dead. So, when he takes off the mask, the mummy will come to life, right?

Nope…And You Don’t Even Have The Same Mummy Costume.

Then people seem disgusted with how hideous it is (maybe they all saw the first movie too). Zita speaks and thanks Bramwell for his excellent presentation. Of course, they can now enjoy refreshments and the exhibit. As people are looking at the exhibit and Renfield talks about how this museum breeds their own beetles that can strip a person’s flesh to the bone, we see that Dr. Craig isn’t the only creeper here as Zita tries to hit on the two blonde bimbos, but they are repulsed at being hit on by an older woman.

Craig just looks at her failure with bemusement.

We also see Professor Bramwell talking plenty with Elyse Lam, who says she is researching Egyptian mummies. Bramwell gives her his card and says that if she ever needs any help with accuracy, she should call him at the university.

Elyse Lam is leaving when she gets a call from Jack who asks about the story and Elyse says that she will work on it tonight since she has nothing else to do on a Friday Night.

We then go to a house that the two blonde bimbos (named Susan and Tanya) and they talk about how that older woman was trying to hit on them, which they are still creeped out by. But not creeped out enough to not have any nudity and make out scenes.

Basically, An Excuse To Have A Lesbian Make-Out Scene, Which Like The Last Movie, Is The Only Thing You Will Be Getting.

Basically, it is an excuse for me to use the fast-forward button, so we get to the next bit of story-telling.

Back at the museum, Zita bids the waitresses farewell, before Harold laughs about Susan and Tanya blowing her off earlier. He tells Zita to leave the babes to their own generation and says that at least he still finds her attractive. He then tries to put the moves on her, but she says that frankly, she would rather kiss the mummy. Harold then tells her that when the last of her good looks has faded away, she is going to regret turning him down and mocks that it is too bad that she can’t be young forever because very soon, she will be looking like the mummy.

Meanwhile, Elyse listens to Bramwell’s speech while she drinks her tea and oils up her boobs.

Unless She Finds Bramwell To Be Attractive (Which She Doesn’t As Far As The Rest Of This Film Goes), This Scene Really Is Just There For Titillation.

Meanwhile Tanya and Susan have some wine and still insult Zita, calling her an “old museum dyke”. Back at the museum, Zita is sadly thinking over Harold’s warning about her getting older.

And To Basically Show That She Has A Young Body, Making The Obvious Graying Of The Hair That Much Noticeable.

She goes to the warehouse and takes a necklace out of the box that says Harwa Collection – Miscellaneous.

 You might remember that Harwa was a character played Richard Lynch, who died in the first movie from a heart attack caused by Hor-Shep-Sut’s magic. Zita puts on the necklace where she then finds a jar. She realizes that the jar talks of Nephthys. Then she gets an idea, which is awful and evil.

No, I Will Not Do The Whole Grinch Spiel As Only That Actual Original Grinch Deserves That And No One Else.

Especially Not You, But Your Day Will Come Soon....

Zita starts summoning Nephthys and because Nephthys would probably be bored at this point while she basically doesn’t do much, she appears along with her handmaidens.

Meh, I Haven’t Done Much In A Long Ass Time So I Will Hear This Request Out

Before I continue, I must mention that Nephthys is the sister of Isis and was the wife of Set. Now while many popular beliefs for a while just had her just being the wife of Set and eventually they created Anubis, there may be doubts to those beliefs. What we do know is despite being Set’s wife, she actually was more helping of her sister Isis than her husband Set. In fact, after Set killed Osiris and scattered his body parts all over Egypt, she helped Isis get all the pieces of his body together. Unlike Osiris and Set, blood was thicker than water in their case.

But she asks who summoned her and of course she is initially put off that the person who summoned her is also not Egyptian. She says while this is true, she is loyal and that is what counts. Nephthys then gets straight to the point and asks Zita what she wants. Zita explains that she asks that she restores her youth, so she can know love. Nephthys says that she asks a great deal, but she will grant it (I’m sure more out of boredom than anything else). She then says it can be done through the Mummy’s Kiss (Title Drop).

The goddess says through that kiss and the sacred amulet, she can reanimate and command the mummy. She says the mummy will secure those that Zita must take to bed, so she can steal their kas. With the kas part done, she will be young again and by continuing to do so, she will remain young. So, remember earlier when Zita says she would rather kiss a mummy than Harold? Well, now she does so.

Ah Man, As A Mummy I Was Hoping For Some Tongue.

The mummy comes to life.

And it is just then that guess who walks into the door?

Oh Hey, Hope You Didn’t Mind That Sexual Harassment Earlier.

Zita of course did mind and tells the mummy to “kill that horny old dirtbag”. Harold doesn’t run and just stands there, begging to be spared, but in mummy movies, that doesn’t mean shit so he gets his head cut off.

Although Due To The Budget, We Can Only Show It In Shadows.

Zita does her maniacal laugh and we then see that his head is being eaten clean off by those beetles mentioned earlier.

It then becomes a skull.

It is the next day and we are at the offices of the tabloid that Elyse works for.

It’s Here Where We Meet Her Boss Jack And His Assistant Marie. Unlike The Assistant In The Last Movie, This Assistant Really Does Nothing Except Rub Jack’s Shoulders And Get Him Some Coffee. 

Elyse asks about her story and Jack basically is very blunt in saying it sucks. He talks about how “a college egghead alleges that mummy came back to life” is really a crappy story for their tabloid paper. He needs photos and sworn affidavits, basically hard evidence for this story to be worth something. Elyse tries to say that it was all there was, and Jack just tells her to get more. He doesn’t want to lose this story as somehow mummies are hot right now. He tells her if she doesn’t, he’ll do worse than fire her, he’ll put her on the Tony Markham alien abduction story. I had to look this one up as Donald Glut in the commentary said that Tony Markham was a past character and all I got was he was the main character in a 1996 movie called Dinosaur Valley Girls (itself a softcorn porn film with Griffin Drew).

Hmm…Griffin Drew. I may have to see if I have a DVD of that for the next time. Oh wait…I know I do.

Whatever…

I remember that one as Dinosaur Valley Girls also has a book to written by the director.

What?

Not one you can get on your Kindle either.

You have the book, don’t you?

Why yes, I do…although I don’t know what I did with it.

Here is myself, praying that you never find it.

Oh you may regret those words.

*Sigh*

I just know I already am.

Anyway, this idea causes Elyse to immediately do her job as that is a worse assignment. He also gives her some pictures that she shot in an envelope. Oh, and we see Harold’s skull in Zita’s office.

The Closest Harold Will Get To Ever Being With Her

Oh, and she gets a phone call, which is apparently from Carter in the first movie. She says that Harold is on sabbatical and she doesn’t know when he will be back, but she will tell him that Carter called when and if he ever checks in again. She hangs up and then looks at Harold’s skull with a smirk as she is going through the sign-in sheet from the beginning to find out who those two blonde bimbos were from, especially the one she really liked.

Then we see Prof. Bramwell finishing a conversation from Prof. Petra Cushing (yeah, Peter Cushing nod there) and says that her work was very good. Elyse shows up and Bramwell says that he likes to do his research at night. Elyse shows her tape recorder as she likes to quote people accurately (and maybe later oil herself up to the audio). It might be a strange kink of hers, I don’t know. I can only assume that from a previous scene.

Elyse again wants to know about the mummy business from before as there might be some info he didn’t tell before that give something for her readers. Bramwell shows the scroll and recounts the whole Hor-Shep-Sut sex scene with the princess, punishment from the pharaoh, and eventual mummification from the first film. If you want to know about all of that, read the induction on the first film as there really is nothing new as they show the entire archive footage from that scene.

Elyse says that is quite an amazing story he told. However, she really wants to talk about the walking mummy as she really wants to believe him, but it seems insane. Bramwell says that his colleagues swear that it really happened. Elyse then jokingly asks what they were smoking, which the professor seems no amusement in. Bramwell says that to hear his friend, Prof. Moore, tell the story, saving lives was more important than gathering evidence. Elyse then thanks him for his time and she leaves and walks by another student who wants to talk to Bramwell in Chrissy Lee (a Christopher Lee nod).

That night, Zita awakens the mummy to go get Susan, the girl Zita really likes so she can have sex with and steal her kas. The mummy goes out and passes by a random alcoholic bum, who decides to keep drinking to wipe that whole experience away instead of throwing away the bottle like most people would do in these movies after seeing something strange as seeing a mummy come back to life.

The Actors Who Play That Bum (As Well As Dr. Harold Craig) Are The Two Actors Who Donald Glut Brags That He Has In Every One Of His Films That He Directs.

At the house of Susan and Tanya, Susan decides to go swimming nude in the pool.

And It Is During This Scene Where I Swear I Hear A Bit Of The Music From The Opening Of Birdemic. Could Be Just My Ears Playing Tricks On Me Though. Also Water Was Cold As Hell So If You See The Nipples Erect, That Is Why.

So, after getting out of the pool, Susan gets kidnapped by the mummy.

Susan is than taken to Zita, who Susan realizes was the creepy old woman at the party who tried to hit on her. She tries to resist, but Zita’s amulet puts Susan in a trance.

With Susan in a trance, Zita then proceeds to have sex with her. You can consider this rape, and this isn’t just a one off, Zita here is gonna do it three more times after this. I’ll just basically show you that yes, Zita does end up stealing her kas.

So now Zita is young, and Susan is basically just a slave. Zita doesn’t even need glasses anymore. She says, “Thank you, Nephthys”.

Oh, And Now It Is Zita Who No Longer Is Into Susan. She’s That Kind Of Sexual Predator. 

The next day, Elyse goes back to the museum as Zita meets a new girl in .

Hi Peggy, I’m Gonna Rape You Later. Hope You Don’t Mind…

Elyse kind of interrupts Zita’s offer to take Peggy on a personal tour of the museum later. Elyse wants to take a look at Hor-Shep-Sut as her editor wants to get some facts about that mummy coming back to life. Since it kind of goes against all of Zita’s plans, she plays dumb as says it is all hogwash. Elyse starts to recognize Zita from the opening (who was older than) and Zita plays it off that she got a new makeover and contacts for what used to be her wearing glasses. Zita puts her hand on Elyse’s shoulder, but immediately starts to notice it getting older.

Zita excuses herself as they have a new exhibit next month and she needs to get on that. Elyse leaves too, thinking about the weird way Zita touched her shoulder. Zita goes back and sees in the mirror that she is old again. She asks Nephthys what she has done, and Nephthys has a laugh mentioning that she only had a fragment of the text (so the full text is in several vases and not one). She explains that she must continue her vile work to stay young, so she has to continue taking kas. 

That night, Zita looks at the photos she shot and realizes that Zita was old at the museum meeting and no makeover could turn her that young. However, that is all she has so she really can’t do anything about it. Meanwhile, Tanya is on the phone with the authorities looking into Susan’s disappearance. The cops tell her that it has only been a day, but despite that, Tanya is convinced that Susan is missing as she has never been gone this long without telling her first. The cops can’t do anything now, but Tanya says she will check in tomorrow, however she wants the cops to tell her if they have heard anything.

After she gets off the phone, the mummy breaks into the house.

Tanya tries to break a bottle over its head, but its already dead so it doesn’t do anything and the mummy kidnaps Tanya.

And Also Rips Off Her Top For Some Reason. No, We Are Not Getting Mummy Sexual Assault So It’s Rather Odd.

You know the rest, Zita kind of rapes an entranced Tanya, takes her kas, and now she is also now a handmaiden as well while Zita is young for another fucking day.

At the tabloid office, Jack verbally reams Elyse for having nothing new despite days to do it. Elyse apologizes and Jack wonders if this story is as dead as that mummy. He then shows that he has a new lead about missing women in the area she works at and Elyse learns that they were at the exhibit opening. There were also some strips of old cloth (like bandages) left at the crime scene (which is the house Susan and Tanya were in).

Back at the museum, the two women who had spurned Tanya earlier (and are now handmaidens), want Zita to kiss them again as they want her. But Zita doesn’t want them anymore as they are just eye candy, however she wants to find out how to stay this way permanently. She even thinks that she may not need Nephthys. Nephthys of course hears this (being a god and all), and Nephthys wants the handmaidens and her to watch her as she has pride and arrogance, and one day may try to defy the gods.

So, Zita has the mummy go out again to kidnap Peggy (that one girl Zita met a few days ago) and she does the same thing to her, turning her into a handmaiden as well. However, this time they really are very quick with this one as we see the mummy going out, Zita and Peggy having sex, and now Peggy is a handmaiden.

All While Nephthys And Her Handmaidens Watch In Annoyance

Back at the office, Jack gets a phone call from Elyse. Elyse talks about this forty-something year old woman and now she is young, like in her twenties. Of course, Jack thinks botox and Elyse says she was younger than what botox can do. Jack says he wants to get off the phone with her as there is a horror movie called Vampire Strikes Back on TV tonight.

If It Has Svengoolie Doing Horror Hosting For It, I Know Someone Who May Have Interest In That.

Elyse says to stay on as this whole thing (with the pieces in place) may be the biggest story his tabloid rag has ever ran. Jack decides that Elyse must enlighten him. Elyse then mentions how the two missing girls were also at the exhibit opening, Zita just happens to have grown younger, and the old bandages might be something you find on a mummy. She tells Jack to connect the dots and how she might try to get into the museum after hours. Jack then says there is something about this whole affair that he doesn’t like so he wants Elyse to walk away from this story. Elyse immediately hangs up on him.

Back at the museum, Zita demands Nephthys attention and says she thinks she may have found away to stay like this, which is to keep taking kas from women. Okay, considering the number of days in a year and the number of years Zita would have left unless she dies young, there aren’t enough sexy women to keep her young permanently. So, this whole thing is really stupid.

Meanwhile, Elyse sneaks into the museum while Jack tries to call her back.

Something Easily Done When The Back Door Is Left Unlocked.

However, Elyse’s cover is blown when Jack calls her cell phone and Elyse never bothered to silence it. She once again sends it straight to voice mail, but she is captured by the entranced handmaidens of Zita and the mummy.

Nephthys realizes now that Zita may be abusing her gift (a gift you kind of fucked her on by making it work for only a day and say she has to keep doing that work). And while they gods should not interfere in that doings of humans (which you already have giving her this power), she feels she must act (and she’ll only act later).

You’re Really At Fault For All Of This And For Some Reason, You’re Kind Of Lazy In Acting. I Guess She Wants To Keep Watching Some More.

Elyse is now in nothing but bandages and Zita is in nothing but a robe, her necklace, and some panties she found somewhere.

Really Got To Wonder How Old All Of This Is And How Is Nobody Dealing With Jock Itch Or Some Other Skin Diseases As This Definitely Isn't Healthy For Your Skin To Be Wearing Old Shit With Nothing To Cover It.

Zita then says that they have been waiting for her to join the party (which explains why the back door is just so easily unlocked). Zita asks Elyse if she has ever made love to a woman, to which Elyse asks if Zita has ever made love to a man. Zita then talks about how she may be immortal after this (um…you need a crap ton more kas for that, I think). Zita then entrances Elyse with the necklace and of course, unwraps her.

Jack calls Bramwell (who is surprised a tabloid editor like him would call) and Bramwell once again says all he knows is his colleague Carter Moore could swear that it happened. That is all that Jack needs as he leaves Bramwell on the phone and heads out on his motorcycle to save Elyse.

And Of Course, Doesn’t Wear A Helmet Because As My Brother Would Say Before He Got His Second Concussion As A Teenager After Slipping Off A Skateboard, It’s Not Cool To Wear A Helmet.

Thankfully, Jack doesn’t fall off his bike and avoids a head injury as he gets to the museum. As he was riding there, the three ka-less handmaidens to Zita are getting Elyse all horny by using their mouths all over her body.

Not Sure If Unknowingly Committing Sexual Assault While A Ka-Less Slave Is Gonna Hold Up In Court.

All of this was apparently a warm up for Zita to have her alone time with Elyse, but before she can begin, Nephthys decides that this must end now. Nephthys says that Zita has abused her gift in an attempt to become a goddess like herself and she will not stand for it. Zita then does the stupid thing and tries to defy the goddess by saying Nephthys time was then and Zita’s time is now.

Basically, She Is Being John Cena

Well, this pisses off Nephthys and the mummy comes to life at her command. Zita thinks the mummy is still her slave, but yeah, the mummy listens to Nephthys now since you know, Nephthys is an actual goddess and with the mummy being Egyptian, she can do whatever the hell she wants with it over Zita so the mummy starts choking the bitch.

Mummy’s Going All Wayne Brady On Zita

Of course, all of this is interrupted when Jack shows up wondering what the hell is going on. The mummy then stops choking Zita and goes after Jack…for no reason other then the director and writer wanted to do a scene where Jack stabs the mummy with a spear, but with it being a mummy, it doesn’t work.

They Admit As Much In The Director’s Commentary.

Oh Well, Plothole….

So, like I said, it doesn’t work, and the mummy knocks Jack against the wall and out.

Fat Load Of Good You Did, Jack

With Jack counting stars, Zita gets up and Nephthys handmaidens grab her.

It’s Scenes Like This That Make Black Boxing This Film A Royal Pain In The Ass

Nephthys then shoots Zita with a bolt of lightning, which seems to be nothing, but it makes Zita soon turn really old and eventually into dust.

Nephthys then gives Susan, Tanya, and Peggy their kas back.

They all leave creeped out by the whole experience and Nephthys has the mummy go back in its tomb and back to being dead.

Bye Mummy. Thanks For Doing Nothing And Since I Never Mentioned It Before Because I Never Noticed Till Now, The Freaking Sarcophagus Is Different Too.

Nephthys and her handmaidens disappear and all we have left is for Jack to wake up Elyse and then the two kiss?

Makes As Much Sense With Her Kissing This Guy That They Haven't Hinted Any Past Connection To As When Bikini Jones Kissed Mark At The End Of Bikini Jones & The Temple Of Eros. I Wonder If Christine Nguyen Has It In Her Contract At The End Of Every Film She Is The Main Character In, She Kisses The Main Guy Even If They Show No Connection To Each Other.

In the director’s commentary, Donald admits that he was planning on having a scene where it shows that Jack and Elyse had a past, but it got cut for time. I just like my joke of the porn actress having it in her contract that she kisses the lead guy at the end.

But this isn’t the end yet as they need to joke about this story being in the papers, the possibility of it being an all considered allegedly happening, and if they have pictures before they leave. Nephthys smirks from the afterlife as she and the handmaidens leave. But this movie does end with the mummy sticking its hand out for some reason as if to tease the continuation of this series.

See You Back At Blood Scarab, Which Will Be A Long Fucking Time As I Will Need To Get To The Two Countess Dracula Adult Films Before I Even Cover This One.

Actually, the end credits happen which have Peggy, Susan, and Tanya all dancing topless as we hear a freaking rap song because yes, this movie has one of those.

Good news is for once, I don’t have a cast member or director passing away as of it, but the more interesting news is what Belinda Gavin aka Kylie Wyote would do 2 years after this film when she made an appearance in the revival of American Gladiators.  Belinda Gavin would do another porn film in 2009, and then in 2016, she would be a co-host for three Children Entertainment Programs. Weird….

My opinion of this film is this film is worse than the first one, however…after Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders, it would take a lot for me to totally hate this. I mean, it doesn’t shoot for shit like living poop people or monsters with dick heads or annoying ass puns all over the place. However, that is the only good thing I can say as there is so many mistakes this film makes, and the new effects are so noticeably not like the first film, which isn’t especially helped by when they used the archived footage from the first film. Also, the mask and sarcophagus being different (how do they not have the old props) makes no sense and throws things off so much. But yeah, it isn’t as bad as the last induction so oh well…beggars can’t be choosers.

So, two of these inductions down……three left so what do you have next, Porno Pete.

Alright…next up is a film from our old pal, Fred Olen Ray, and it also has people you have seen before in Evan Stone, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, one of my crushes Rebecca Love, and of course…Christine Nguyen will be in this as well.

That’s a lot of alumni from the past.

True…and it came out the same year as The Mummy’s Kiss 2^nd Dynasty. This film is…