Goosing, Dick Bursters, & Tranny With Nunchucks…Oh My, This Is Bad
1996
Well,
folks….for the last 2 years, March has been a perfect time for me to do an
induction of a Leprechaun film and this year will be no different. But unlike
last year where we did the best Leprechaun film of the series, the sequel to
that film….is the worst Leprechaun film. Forget the 2014 GINO Award Winner
Leprechaun: Origins because this is even worse than that pile of betrayal.
It’s
really strange how this could happen. I mean, Leprechaun 4 has the return of
star Warwick Davies and director Brian Trenchard-Smith. We also had Debbe
Dunning and Miguel Nunez Jr. as well as Baywatch actress Rebecca Carlton, which
is more people I know than with Leprechaun 3 and that film was awesome.
Then
I Remember That Miguel Nunez Jr. Was Also In Street Fighter
So
join with me and let’s find out how this all went wrong.
Well,
It’s A Trimark Pictures Film So You Know What That Means….
RUN!!!!!
And
the first thing we get after that and a few names is…
The
Laziest Title Sequence In All The Leprechaun Films
And
we are already in outer space with CGI Asteroids that look like they could come
from Star Fox for the Super Nintendo as more names are put up for the film. We
are then introduced to our ship and….
I
Think I May Have Seen Better Graphics On The Atari Jaguar
And
we are then introduced to our characters loading up as if they are going to be
in a gunfight, which they are as their boss comes in.
And
He Is Credited As Metalhead (Although His Name Is Sgt. Hooker).
No,
I Wish It Were That Metalhead.
By
the way, the actor playing Metalhead’s most known role was as the Door Gunner
in Full Metal Jacket.
He
Was Killing Any Vietnamese Person He Saw
He also was originally supposed to be Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, but as we all know R. Lee Ermey went above and beyond to earn that role so here he finally gets to play the Sergeant in Metalhead.
He says that we are orbiting the planet of Ithacon and they are chasing an alien with the orders to search and destroy, since he has disrupted the Galactic Mining Operations to the turn of a billion dollars. Then this woman comes in after they are doing their war motto.
Oh
You Are Only Seeing His Head For The Big Reveal Of The Rest Of His Body Later
On
He
says that she is his personal assistant and they will see to it that she is protected
at all times. Metalhead objects to this, but Mittenhand says that he has his
orders and he suggests Metalhead follow them. After he leaves the monitor,
Metalhead has his second in command Books get her ready for combat and also
makes her his responsibility.
Setting
Up The Sexual Tension Already And We Aren’t Even Six Minutes Into This Film
We
then meet this woman who has been chained up.
He
unchains her and sets up a table using a magic with food and wine. Zarina is of
course impressed by his magic and does not do what most people would do and
run. Meanwhile back on the ship, Metalhead gives a prayer about hoping we kill
this ungodly son of a bitch and that the only wounds be flesh wounds. Tina asks
Sticks what happened to Metalhead’s head and Sticks says that he went down in a
shuttle during the last war and that took out half his skull. Despite that
injury that should have easily killed him, he managed to carry a wounded marine
15 miles before he reached safety. Tina asks if the guy he carried on his back
lived and Books says that yes he did, signaling that he was the wounded marine
he saved.
Anyway,
The Leprechaun reveals that he kidnapped the princess of Dominia because he
wants her to marry him and become king after he kills the king. At first she is
turned off by this idea of her marrying him, but he then offers her gold and
riches beyond her wilds. He also mentions that her father gave all the riches
to his subjects and she has had to live a life of rags because of it. Of course
she then adds that she has hated that life and has been teased about it. So of
course, she immediately agrees to marry the little imp.
The
marines land on a planet that is all rocks with lighting striking all around
them. Books sarcastically jokes about this really being a good vacation spot
and Metalhead has seen worst, asking Books if he has ever been to Detroit.
Hey,
I’ll Have You Know That Detroit At Least Has Robocop, Who Is More Awesome Than
Any Of You Guys Are.
Tina
asks Delores (the other female of the group) if she has ever been in combat
before.
One
of the marines (named Lucky) tries to recon the place and gets spooked by a
rather disgusting creature so he shoots at it, letting both the Leprechaun and
Zarina know they are there.
Leprechaun Is Gonna Goose This Guy.
Indeed,
Chris Rock From Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Indeed.
Guess
Lucky Wasn’t So Lucky After All.
What????
It Was Low Hanging Fruit. I Had To Have It. You Were All Thinking The Same
Thing!!!
Of
course everyone hears Lucky die so they go into battle, except for Books and
Tina (who Metalhead called Cupcake). The Leprechaun grabs a gun and starts
shooting.
Say
Hello To My Even Littler Friend!!
A
shootout happens, which ends with one of the marines throwing a grenade. Since
it is near Zarina and the Leprechaun seeing his meal ticket about to be dead,
he goes all army and lays on it, sacrificing himself while the blast still
knocks Zarina out.
The Marines celebrate this victory and Tina as well as others ask Books to give them a hand with Zarina.
Oh
Come On, I’m Supposed To Be Doing The Terrible Jokes Here.
Metalhead
tells the others to start packing up, by Kowalski says that since it is his
kill, he gets to celebrate.
So
He Of Course Decides To Urinate On The Corpse
Unfortunately
for him, urinating on a Leprechaun is a bad idea as he uses some green stuff to
go up the guy’s urethra.
Leprechaun
Magic Works Like Those Little Fishies In The Amazon That Do The Same Thing.
It
hurts Kowalski and Sticks jokes around, saying he would give him a round of
applause, but it seems he already has The Clap. Look it up on your own time,
just know it is a term for a sexually transmitted disease.
Hehehehehehehe………..I’m
Still Alive And Now I’m Inside Kowalski.
They
head back to their station and take Zarina to the infirmary to be looked at.
It’s
There We Meet This Piss Ant Named Harold.
Tina
reveals that this is the princess of Dominia and this rescue could help their
relationship with the planet Dominia, who apparently this Galactic force is not
on good terms with. Tina wants Harold to do a checkup on the princess, but
Harold objects saying he doesn’t work for her. Tina says they will fight over
who is in charge later. Books says you heard the later and grabs his shoulder,
telling him to get to work. Harold then objects to being touched, unless of
course Books means it.
At the space station’s dance room..
Which
They Have A Disco Ball Too…Because That Is I Guess A Requirement For Dance
Places
There
we see Delores getting down with Kowalski while the other watch, drink, and
give cat calls.
Oh
And Let’s Not Forget Playing Dominoes Too.
Kowalski
suggests to Delores they go somewhere private and she agrees, which the others
bust on him for with that whole situation of peeing on the corpse and getting
something from it. After they leave, the toast to nasty sex and the girls who
will allow it and to Lucky, who died.
So
the two lovebirds go to the hall to the waste disposal unit and start making
out. And sadly no, we do not get to see Heidi from Home Improvement get naked
here. I know a lot of you are probably very disappointed in that news.
But
You Do Get To See Her In A Bra So I Guess That Will Have To Do.
Anyway,
turns out Kowalski did contract something from that pissing on the Leprechaun
because getting the dude aroused causes him to have the Leprechaun hatch out of
his penis.
Then
The Leprechaun Does A Long Jump
Kowalski
as you can imagine after something like that is pretty much dead. Delores tries
to shoot the Leprechaun, but she sadly is too stressed out the shoot the little
bastard.
Or
She Is Too Intimidated By The Fact That The Leprechaun Also Produces A Gun And
Talks Like John Wayne To Do Anything.
Actually,
he shoots the gun out of her hand, but she had plenty of time to shoot him
beforehand and she didn’t. She then runs away as the Leprechaun laughs. He then
has a long speech about how they can kill him in many ways, but he will always
come back as he is eternal.
Tina
enters the dance room/bar for some reason and we get another moment of sexual
tension between her and Books. Tina mentions that Zarina will be fine, but they
won’t be able to save her hand though (remember this later).
The
Leprechaun trips Delores and tries to strangle her, but she knees him in the
balls (with cartoon sound effect) and punches him in the face as she continues
to run off.
Leprechaun: First Dates Are
Always The Hardest…..Oooooh
Delores
runs to the others back in the dance room/bar and mentions that Kowalski is
dead and the Leprechaun is still alive.
Back
in the infirmary/lab (they don’t have many rooms with just one function),
Harold sees that Zarina’s hand is regenerating.
Dr.
Mittenhand The Cock Blocker
Harold
is also amazed at her hand’s regeneration and Mittenhand judges him to be a
naughty boy before revealing his plan to extract some of her DNA. Mittenhand
also make sure that Harold keeps this development a secret for now.
The
group finds Kowalski’s dead body and Metalhead wants to check in the Waste
Disposal Unit for the Leprechaun, but Tina says he can’t and when he says they
can do anything they want, she clarifies that they shouldn’t because that room
is filled with flesh eating bacteria. Metal Head then tries to have another guy
(the one named Mooch) go in there, but he is like “Oh hell no”, but Tina says
he can only go in there with a protective suit on so…..that’s exactly what they
do. She also wants to go, but Books says he is going instead.
So
the two marines in protective suits go in and as you can imagine, things don’t
go well. And by things not going well, I mean the Leprechaun (who also has a
protective suit on) has a futuristic blade and cuts into Mooch’s suit.
I’m
Going To Guess That Mooch Didn’t Make It
The
group now want to talk to Harold and Dr. Mittenhand. Mittenhand mentions that
he is given to understand that the creature will let them live if they give him
the princess and while the group is okay with that, Mittenhand says hell no. He
says the princess is part of a very important scientific experiment and wants
them to kill the Leprechaun. They plan on leaving, but Mittenhand shows
himself.
Mittenhand
then says there is a clause in the contract that says he has the power to
extend their contract in case of an emergency. He then says that if they refuse
his orders, they will be tried for mutiny and that is punishable by death. He
then also adds that if they follow is orders and kill the Leprechaun, he will
give them a bonus, which will be 100 times what they are being paid now. They
also negotiate for 3% of whatever they get out of that mine as well. So
yep….they are staying past their contract for more money. Metalhead finally
says that if he loses any more men, Dr. Mittenhand’s ass is grass…if he even
has an ass.
Out
of that room, Metalhead has the group split up with Sticks and Danny taking the
sub-levels, Books and Tina take the engine room and everything around it, while
he and Delores take whatever else. The Leprechaun is listening and mentions how
it seems a pity to pity to kill them, but he will. He then says this.
Leprechaun: The path to power
is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from
becoming king. I’ll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it
with. Share… Now there’s a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it
sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to
pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I
want is everything. I’ll wed her, bed her, and bury her all in the same day. I
wonder if her father will pay for the wedding AND the funeral.
Yep,
so the Leprechaun’s new plan is to get with the princess, kill her father, and
then kill her…all so he can become King of Dominia. He then goes to Sticks and
Danny and uses his magic to screw up their locator. Danny then says to Sticks
that they should just do nothing and wait until the others kill the creature to
collect on their share of the reward. Sticks says no to his plan so Danny just
says he isn’t taking any chances and is going to do nothing.
We
get more scenes of Tina and Books having sexual tension. Oh and Books checking
out Tina’s ass as she goes up the stairs. Back in the lab/infirmary, Harold
tells Mittenhand that he has a sample of her blood. He mixes it with some of Mittenhand’s
skin from his thumb and uses a ray to quick the regeneration. Of course, it
reveals that a thumb is born.
CGI
Thumbs Up
With
Metalhead and Delores, Delores wonders if she is to blame for his death since
she did get him hard. But Metalhead says that he would have wanted to go out
that way. Look Metalhead, I know what you are trying to say about wanting to go
out through sex, but a few problems here. 1) he never was able to have sex and
2) I think that idea is to have a heart attack while having sex with a hot
woman and not dying from what basically was a chestbuster coming out of your
junk. In fact, I think that is actually probably the worst way he would want to
go as I’m sure that would be the worst way for any guy.
Back
in the sublevels, we get some Miguel Nunez Jr. charm as he works well with the
guy playing Danny.
Sticks: Lordy, Mr.
Daniels, it sho’ be dark in here!
Danny: Laugh it up, wise
guy. It won’t be funny when the little bastard shoves a laser up your ass.Sticks: Oooh. A laser up my ass? Oh. Ohh. Come on feet, don’t fail me now! Oh. Oh come on, Mr. Daniels!
Danny: *mutters* Dick
Tina
and Books’ locator spots the Leprechaun in the engine room, which means he only
took out Danny & Sticks’ locator, which is stupid for the Leprechaun.
Either that or they forgot that the Leprechaun took out the locator, which
makes the filmmakers a bunch of forgetful morons to miss something like that.
It might be just Sticks and Danny as Metalhead isn’t able to get into contact
with them anyway, what with them being in the sublevels and all. Kind of
imagine that the signal is quite terrible there. Books then tells Tina to go
back as he waits for the others because she is not getting hurt under his
watch. Tina then sexist-shames him into staying.
Oh
then the Leprechaun uses magic to handcuff Books to a shelf.
Leprechaun: You’re busted,
lad. Give me back the princess or I’ll barbecue your buns to a crisp.
Books
tries to get Tina to leave, but again she refuses as she isn’t leaving him in
this situation. Books finally shoots the handcuffs off (something he should
have thought of beforehand). Books basically shoots a pipe down as they retreat.
Yes, seriously the two who have the Leprechaun in trouble as he can’t get to
them….retreat. The two then use a lift to bring themselves to higher ground. We
then get more sexual tension as Books is carrying Tina. They meet up with
Delores and Metalhead. Metalhead asks if they got him and Books said that he
got away. LIAR!!!! You had him and you are the two that freaking ran. Books
asks about Sticks and Danny, to which Metalhead says he doesn’t know, but they
should be on their way.
We
then go to Sticks and Danny who are still in the sub-levels, trying to get into
contact with Metalhead, but still no good. Danny is now mad at Sticks for them
being in the sub-levels. The Leprechaun’s laugh can be heard and Danny wonders
what that is. The Leprechaun then taunts them from a vent he is hiding in and
Danny decides to be a coward and run the other way, although to be fair…Books
and Tina did the same thing. Of course the Leprechaun decides to go after the
coward instead of the guy who wants to get him. It probably is also because
Sticks is trapped because Danny decided to selfishly lock the door behind him.
The
Leprechaun then shows up on the TV screen…
In
A Construction Worker Attire
He
then talks about safety in the workplace and cuts off several of his own
fingers.
Leprechaun: As Shakespeare
said, shit happens.
I
Never Said That!!!
The
Leprechaun continues to taunt Danny by singing “Danny Boy”. Danny tries to
strike a deal with the Leprechaun saying he can do whatever he wants and he
won’t care, as long as the Leprechaun lets him live (which Danny is lying
about). The Leprechaun says he is okay with it, but doesn’t trust Danny so he
wants to meet face to face). Danny is okay with it and the Leprechaun leads him
to the pipes he is hiding in.
Danny is about to shoot the Leprechaun, but the Leprechaun actually led him into a trap where he hits a remote and drops a steel crate on the guy.
Not
Sure If This Is The Most Sanitary Way Of Doing This
Mittenhand
then tells Harold to prepare the DNA as he has computed the formula for his
regeneration. Harold of course tries to brown-nose his boss, but Mittenhand
sees through his ass-kissing and just tells him to shut up and get to work.
Mittenhand says that for years, he has dreamt of opportunities to rejoin the
human race. He then tells Harold that he was once considered dashing.
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes Is Laughing At That Statement
Mittenhand
then talks about the experiment that crippled him. He planned on being the
first ever computer with an organic structure and Harold asks if something went
wrong. Mittenhand sarcastically says it all went according to plan before
calling him a moron. He says now with Zarina’s DNA, he will recreate
Mittenhand, rising from the ashes and standing triumphant to the world. He then
finally says that he shall be beautiful.
Delores
goes first into a catwalk to make sure the coast is clear, but as soon as she
says it is, the Leprechaun uses his magic to lock the others out of it so it is
Delores alone with the Leprechaun. So Delores shoots his head off.
I’m
Not Even Going To Tease You With The Movie Being Over. You Know It Isn’t.
She of course gloats to Metalhead, saying that she got him and well….
Yeah,
No….And Scott Hall Says “One More For The Good Guys”, Not You
So
the Leprechaun grabs her and lifts her over the catwalk and now Delores is only
hanging on from fingers.
She
Falls To Her Death
The
group goes down to check on her, but it is obvious that she is dead.
Oh
And Sticks Somehow Was Able To Conveniently Rejoin The Group
Delores
does rise to just saying the dying words of “Kill Him” before officially being
dead. This causes Tina to grab her gun and say to the others that they are
going to kill the son of a bitch. Metalhead leaves last, saluting her before
leaving.
Back
to the secret lab, Harold is mixing a formula together. After finishing, he
tells Mittenhand that it is ready. Outside, the Leprechaun is able to smell
Zarina, leading him outside the lab. Harold and Mittenhand are interrupted by a
doorbell ring (yes, his lab has a doorbell. I don’t know why either.). Harold
goes to check on the monitor who it is and the Leprechaun decides to disguise
himself as Tina.
Mittenhand
says that the two can come to some sort of arrangement since they are both
monsters and they are both greedy. The Leprechaun says that he wants what the
doctor can’t give him, which is a throne as king, to have people to grovel at
his feet, and to get some damn respect. Mittenhand yells that respect means
nothing and fear is what makes the universe go round. He then says
unfortunately, the Leprechaun won’t live long enough to frighten anyone. Harold
then stabs the creature from behind.
Oh
You Are So Dead
He
thanks Harold for returning it before force pushing him into the wall. He then
flattens his head with a plate.
Okay….That
Death Is Just Too Cartoony For Me To Buy In This Film. That Plate Shouldn’t
Even Be Able To Do That….Unless The Leprechaun Universe Is In The Same Universe
As The Looney Toons.
The
Leprechaun turns around and says it is now Mittenhand’s turn.
Mittenhand
Gulps At The Prospect
Back
with the marines, they are still looking for the Leprechaun with their working
locator. They find out that the Leprechaun is in the lab. They run to get him.
The
Leprechaun plays Prince to her Sleeping Beauty and wakes Zarina up with a kiss.
She looks at him and screams before realizing what is going on. She says that
she had a dream that Mittenhand was draining his blood, which we see Mittenhand
somehow has a ball gag in his mouth.
They
enter the room and the princess wants them to kneel before her and leave the
Leprechaun alone. But of course, this is just a ruse so the Leprechaun can use
his magic to make Metalhead a hostage via dynamite wrapped up.
After
leaving, we see that Mittenhand is no longer attached to his robotic body.
Hmm….A
Precursor Of Things To Come
As
they are taking Metalhead with them (who is under a spell so he can act like an
obedient soldier), Zarina talks about her plans of returning home triumphant
and sweep her father off the throne….and then they shall rule the world.
But first, she wants these “peasants” executed, maybe boiled in oil. But Leprechaun says leave it to him as he shall take care of it. They take Metalhead to the dance room/bar and the Leprechaun says they will show the marines what kind of man Metalhead really is. The marines enter the dance hall and why find out why the actor playing Metalhead got the part.
A
Guy With A Drill Sergeant-Like Voice Who Has No Problem Acting Like A Woman
Yep….that
tranny is Metalhead, turned into this person by the Leprechaun as entertainment
so they can watch him fight the group. Zarina watching asks the Leprechaun why
he would waste time with these people when someone could be collecting his
gold. This irritates the Leprechaun who wants to know exactly where it is. She
teases him, but eventually says it is in the cargo bay and the two leave the
Metalhead Tranny to fight the marines while they head to the cargo bay. Of
course as he leaves and she takes one peanut for the road, Zarina says that she
will give him a splendid funeral, meaning she is also planning on killing him
after they are married. Yep…both are using the other to rule over Dominia.
After
Sticks punches Metalhead to hopefully get him back to sanity, we see that he
tries to fight the spell put on him, but fails immediately and produces
nunchuks to fight them.
Probably
Another Reason This Actor Got The Role Or They Could Have Hired A Stunt Double
For These Scenes.
Nevermind…It
Is Him With The Nunchuks
Both
Sticks and Tina want to put Metalhead out of his misery, but Books is against
it as he owes the man his life. So Metalhead attacks Books with the nunchuks.
We
then transition to someone waking up in a room and guess who it is.
It
Is Mittenhand Turned Into A Scorpion/Spider/Human Hybrid Monstrosity
We
go back to Tina who has had enough and decides to fight Metalhead Tranny
herself.
And
Despite Metalhead Calling Tina “Cupcake” All Those Times, Tina Kicks His Ass.
At
the control room, Mittenhand talks about how due to interference, his
experiment has gone awry with his brain slowly losing human perspective. He
says he is no longer Mittenhand and is now Mittenspider.
I’ll
Admit, This Is A Really Nice Effect
Back
at the dance room/bar, Sticks is impressed by Tina and Books is as well. A gun
appears for Metalhead Tranny and he grabs it and attacks them with it while
exhibiting a complete split-personality due to the spell. Metalhead Tranny
gives them a good fight, but ultimately his undoing is using his bayonet to
stab Tina, but she moves and he hits a socket.
This
Electrocutes Metalhead Tranny, Who Dies, Also Revealing That Metalhead Was A
Cyborg All Along.
While
heading to the cargo bay, Zarina wonders why the Leprechaun wants his gold so
badly. He also sets the ship to self-destruct while muttering that Zarina is a
bitch and Zarina muttering that the Leprechaun is a twat. After we find out
that the self-destruct countdown is only twenty minutes, everyone realizes that
they need to get off the ship.
We
get more small talk between Zarina and the Leprechaun about who gets to kill
her father since more than likely, he will not be willing to give up the
throne. This detonation also pisses off Mittenspider who attempts to stop it
since he is actually in the control room, but ultimately turns into full
monster before he is able to stop it. Now all Mittenspider wants is flies.
The
Leprechaun sees the escape shuttle and puts a force field on the remaining
shuttle so that no one is able to leave the station without him and Zarina.
Leprechaun
Has Found The Ultimate Anti-Theft Security Device For His Vehicle: Magic!!!
He
also mutters that Zarina is a ball-busting bitch, and Zarina sort of hears him
and asks what he said. The Leprechaun immediately fibs his way out of this one
by saying he said she will be rich when they find it.
The
marines make a run for the shuttle, but are screwed when a door is locked and
they can’t get in. The group decides to split up with Books and Tina going to
the shuttle via the air ducts while Sticks tries to go to the control room and
stop the self-destruction sequence. Tina tells Sticks that Mittenhand had a red
book with the codes in the control room as she remembered Harold talking about
it once. Sticks says that if for any reason he cannot crack it, they take off
without him. Books refuses this and says we all go together or none of us go at
all.
While
looking for the Leprechaun’s gold, the two argue again and Zarina says that he
isn’t the only wealthy suitor who has courted her and with her beauty, she can
marry anyone she wants. The Leprechaun then says with a face like that and uses
some magic to make her ugly.
Sticks
gets to the control room and finds out the whole place is filled with webs.
While sticks is looking for the codebook while also wondering what the hell
happened in the control room, Mittenspider appears.
The
Legit Reaction Deserved For Either Seeing Mittenspider Or Knowing You Have To
Watch This Film.
Books
and Tina get to where the shuttle is, but are unhappy to find the shuttle is
surrounded by a force field. Books decides that they need to find the little
bastard and see if he can remove it. The Leprechaun is completely mad that his
gold has been shrunken to pebbles. Zarina scolds him for this tomfoolery and
the Leprechaun finally shows Zarina the new face he gave her.
Never
Try To Brag To An Individual About How Beautiful You Are While They Are
Ugly…They Always Have Ways Of Turning The Tables On Your Narcissistic Ass.
The Leprechaun wants her to stop screaming so he hits her on the head, which knocks her out.
The
Leprechaun: Finding Random Blunt Instruments Since 1993
He
laughs as she is knocked out and turns her back to being beautiful because even
he can’t stand the site of her ugliness.
Back
in the control room, we find that Sticks has been webbed up with fleshy
webbing.
Back
in the control room, Sticks almost has the self-destruct sequence neutralized,
but there is a password that is needed and our token black guy doesn’t know
what that password is. He communicates with Books and Tina to tell them about
the situation. Books says they need to get up there, but Tina wants to
neutralize the Leprechaun first. She then has Books cover her as she goes in
for the attack. Tina then accidentally turns on the shrink ray (which has been
reversed) so the Leprechaun grows to monstrous size.
Dammit
Tina
Books
has a great quote for this situation.
Books: What did you shoot
him with, Steroids???
Books
then decides to give Tina a gun and send her to help Sticks while he tries to
deal with the giant Leprechaun, which she freaking caused. The Leprechaun is
all too happy about his new size. He even checks his privates and is happy to
learn that apparently they have grown bigger as well. Books takes his shirt off
and tries to fight the giant Leprechaun. Books tries to shoot him, but at this
points, bullets don’t even phase the giant so Books runs.
Tina
goes through the air duct, but is grabbed by Mittenspider, who wants to eat
her. She shoots at him so she can get away. Mittenhand grabs Tina again and
takes her pants off.
Of
Course He Does
Back
at the cargo bay, Books trips and is spotted by the Leprechaun who tries to
squish him with his boot. The effects to make the Leprechaun huge I have to
admit, are complete crap at times. Tina finally enters the control room and she
has to deal with Mittenspider, who is already in the control room. After a
brief struggle, Tina douses the monster with liquid nitrogen, freezing him.
Meh…..Why
Not?
Books
makes Tina (who has now freed Sticks) open the outer cargo bay door. He gets
Zarina into the hallway with him and traps the Leprechaun inside, who because
of his size, can’t go after them. Tina finally opens the door and the
Leprechaun is sucked into outer space.
With
Some Of The Worst Effects I Have Seen For This Series.
Zarina
laughs about his demise.
Zarina: The king is
dead…..long live the Queen
Books
joins Tina and Sticks in the control as they try to figure out the password.
After much pondering and a slew of trial and error, they find out the password
is “Wizard” and are able to shut off the self-destruct sequence at the last
possible second.
They
Celebrate
Books
and Tina make out while Sticks is going to have to be content with being the
third wheel. They make jokes about the Leprechaun being in a bunch of pieces as
we get this final shot, which is I guess a way for the filmmakers to tell us the
audience what they think.
That’s the end of the movie so let’s get to the aftermath. Obviously Warwick Davies did two more of these films (both in The Hood), before having the role taken from him so WWE Films can do a film with Hornswoggle. Brent Jasmer (who played Books) didn’t do much, other than 8 episodes of The Bold & The Beautiful (noticing a lot of actors in these Monster Crap films doing soap operas, wonder why). Jessica Collins (who played Tina) is on The Young & The Restless. Miguel Nunez Jr. (who played Sticks) was doing supporting roles until he got a starring role in a major motion picture (sadly that film was Juwanna Mann and he went back into cult status after that turd). Debbe Dunning (who played Delores) continued on Home Improvement until it’s end in 1997, got married to an American volleyball player and had two kids, and last I heard in 2004, was a spokesperson for a breast enlargement drink. Rick Peters (who played Mooch) was Dexter Morgan’s neighbor who might have had the hots for his wife in Season 4. And this may be a first for me with inducting a film not in the 2000s, but the cast and director of this film are still alive.
This
film sucks, but not as bad as when I first remembered it. More that I think
about it, Leprechaun Origins and Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood may have been
worse films (both of which I thought were better films before re-watching this
for this induction. There is some charm for this film that is definitely there
with certain cast members. But this is still one of the worst films where a
horror villain goes to outer space. Some things are supposed to be realistic
(in this science fiction world) and then there is shit like with how that piss
ant Harold die (by a fucking platter). There is also no explanation about how
the Leprechaun fucking got there and that should happen with this film.
Overall, this film is still a piece of crap and a complete downgrade from the
last film.
So
with that done, I wonder which film is next.
Well, Last Month
You Inducted Batman Forever So Let’s Finish Off The Bad Batman Films With…
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