Monster Crap: April 2018

Monster Crap Inductee: Puppet Master

The Bland Beginning Of One Of Charles Band’s Longest Series

1989

It is time to do Puppet Master. A series that Charles Band has made as of this writing 13 movies out of.

In Fact, I Have A Framed Autographed Picture Of Blade From The Series.

So, with a series being that long, you would expect a great first film that Charles Band is hoping to recapture. You would be wrong because while I’m sure I can find plenty of people who liked this film, I am not one of them. In fact, I find this film to be a bit of a disappointment. But since all the films deserve an induction, we might as well start at the beginning.

So how did this all come about. Well, according to Charles Band, he had come up with the title years ago while he was doing a movie called Dungeonmaster (aka Ragewar) for Empire Pictures. I don’t have that film so it will be a while before I do an induction on that so you’ll just have to watch Spoony’s take on it, before he completely completed his downfall. I wish I could show it, but it isn't on Youtube from him and I will not post videos from Russia or bootleg videos

Anyway, Charles Band had been wanting to do this and he had gotten a lot of positive feedback from Dungeonmaster that when he finally had a script together for killer puppets coming to life, Puppet Master was an easy choice to make as the title. He got David Schmoeller who directed Tourist Trap, Crawlspace, Ghost Town (which I’m told was a very hard film to find back in the day after it was released) and Catacombs at the time to direct this film. As far as the cast goes, we have a small cast with two of them having involved with past Monster Crap inductions. First, we have Linda Cook (who will do the somewhat noises for one of the puppets) as she was also in Demonic Toys.

She Was The Uncredited Voice Of Baby Oopsie-Daisy In Demonic Toys

Second, we have Barbara Crampton, who is pretty well known as a scream queen, however, she was in a little film called Chopping Mall.

She Got Burned To A Crisp By The Killbots In That Film

Oh and I also have her autograph.

I Also Got A Picture With Her

Also, there is an interesting connection between William Hickey (who appears only at the beginning of the film) and main star Paul Le Mat in that Hickey was Le Mat’s acting teacher so I’m sure that was a nice reunion between the two. Other than that, let’s get to the film.

We begin our title sequence.

The figure in the background is a puppet being made. As we go through the opening credits and we see the puppet being changed from one puppet to another, but with blurry vision so I can clearly guess what puppet it is, but it would do no good to show a picture of it at this time. We then go to the beach and the Bodega Inn in 1939.

Yeah, that fake hotel there is actually a miniature that is the size of a fridge and when the found the right location, they just have it float over a picture of it on strings and use force prospective for you to think it is real. Meanwhile at a real hotel, a puppet is looking out the window.

That Puppet Called In This Movie As Shredder Khan Is Actually A Real Burmese Opera Marionette Called Zawgyi The Alchemist Magician. So, This Is One Of Two Puppets That Will Never Be Used Again Outside Of This Opening Scene. But Unlike A Later One, I Think The Fact That This Was Made For Actual Shows And Was Not Meant To Be Fooled Around With Like Some Of The Other Puppets Might Be A Damn Good Reason Why.

So yeah, all Shredder Khan does is move his head to the side and back to the window while he is holding a curtain. We then see other crude incomplete puppets before we see Andre Toulon finishing his work on Jester, one of the two puppets you can kind of make out in the intro.

If you have not guessed, Andre has a certain ability to make his puppets come to life because he is the last true alchemist who can use his magic to make inanimate objects come to life, a practice created by the Ancient Egyptians.

Please Stop Pointing That Gun At Me, Linkara

Suddenly we see something in first person view running, but it is obviously small considering how low the camera is. A dog barks at it and it gets scared.

Back inside, we see Andre giving Jester life and his ability is if it wants to change the emotion on its face, it spins three parts of his head around and then gets the right emotion.

The small thing outside barely misses getting hit by a car, which is extremely lucky for it as from out of this car, comes to Nazi spies.

Of course, they are here to attempt to kidnap Andre and use his puppet master abilities for the Third Reich. However, that small thing the car nearly ran over is coming to warn Andre as it is one of the puppets. Meanwhile Shredder Khan notices the Nazi spies and looks at Andre, who I guess has a telekinetic link with them as he says that he knows that the Nazis are coming. Jester looks worried, but Andre assures him that he will take care of the puppets. The puppet outside gets on an elevator to go up before the Nazis can get inside so they must wait for elevator to come back down after its stop on the second floor. There also was a couple in that elevator so thank god it went to the sixth floor because there are other floors and if that couple went on those, this puppet would have been screwed.

Meanwhile, Andre opens a secret compartment in his wall and starts putting his puppets in a box. Andre starts putting an Egyptian scroll as well as a puppet named Gengie.

A Puppet That Never Moves And Thus We Will Never See Again. Guess It Was Another Real Puppet That The Filmmakers Couldn’t Fool Around With, But Unlike Shredder Khan, I Do Not Know For Sure.

Andre puts Shredder Khan and Jester into the box. Meanwhile, the loose puppet runs down the hallway and gets seen by a random woman who screams.

This Only Results In Us Seeing The Puppet Running Away As He Is Scared As Well Of This Woman Seeing Him.

That puppet is Blade and like the signed framed picture I have, you can guess that he is probably the most known of the puppets and one of three to be in all three films (while being the only one who is on all the VHS and DVD covers as well as the only one whose suit doesn’t change). And considering he requires FIVE puppeteers to operate, I’m sure he wasn’t fun. Also if he looks familiar to a real life person, director David Schmoeller based his look on one of his favorite actors (who he worked with in Crawlspace), Klaus Kinski.

You Know It Is Fucking Insane That I Have Never Inducted A Movie With Klaus Kinski In It Yet Because He Has Done Several I Could Induct And Just For The Sheer Fact That He Was Completely Insane In Real Life. He Makes Gary Busey Like Woody Woodpecker In Comparison To His “Any Serial Killer You’ve Seen In A Movie”.

And Before Any Of You Ask…Yes, I Have Seen The Woody Woodpecker Movie Released In America And Yes, It Will Be Nominated For The GINO Award.

Anyway, Blade warns Andre about the Nazis, but the alchemist already knows. He puts Blade in the box. He then closes the box and hides it in that secret compartment. He then grabs a gun and puts it in his mouth as the Nazis knock at his door. He pulls the trigger, killing himself just as the Nazis break down the door.

Moving to the present day (or 1989 since that’s when this film was released) at Yale University, our main character named Alex Whitaker is asleep in his office.

In his dreams, he sees his former colleague Neil Gallagher saying he can’t save this woman as he pulls a gun on her and shoots her.

Blood starts showing up on Alex’s shirt for some strange reason.

He wakes up to see leeches on his chest and screams.

But this was also a dream as Alex wakes up from that. He looks at his shirt and there is no blood coming from it. Alex is troubled by this dream.

At a fair, Dana Hadley is a palm reader and fortune teller.

She is reading the fortunes of a couple.

Hi Barbara Crampton…I Wouldn’t Be As Bored Sitting Next To You As This Guy If I Was In This Situation.

As she is telling the good fortunes that will be in this couple’s future (and the future passing of the guy’s grandmother), she suddenly starts seeing visions of her future as she starts gasping for air she sees her throat being cut.

After a cut to the Statue of Liberty, a bridge, and some taxis, we go to a building where Frank Forrester and Carissa Stamford are doing telepathy tests on a girl named Andrea Clarke.

Frank asks Andrea a rather forward request in that she needs to envision her wildest sexual fantasy and pay attention to the details. They try to see if Carissa can see these fantasies. Frank seems to be able to see the fantasies while Carissa cannot, and Frank says that Andrea has a very vivid imagination which Carissa gives him a look.

The Kind Of Look That Says “You’re Sleeping On The Couch Tonight”

Frank gets a phone call from Alex and they also reveal they had telekinetic contact with Neil while they were “experimenting”. Alex wonders what it means and why all of us at once. Frank says that it means Gallagher has found the old puppet master’s hiding place and he is calling for some kind of a meeting. Frank also says they say that she knows where the location is and that this will not be a friendly meeting.

So, they get on planes to Bodega Bay and go to the Bodega Bay Inn. They wait for Gallagher, but meet a maid named Theresa and Megan Gallagher because since the last time they spoke to Neil, he got married to the owner of this hotel and it is revealed that Neil blew his brains out so he is dead.

The friends wonder why Neil did this and Megan has no answer for them as to why as she would love to know that herself. He left a note saying he didn’t want to be buried till his friends have arrived. They then plan to bury him tomorrow and Megan goes to show the guests to his room, but Frank, Carissa, and Dana ask to stay so they can mourn Neil’s passing a little longer. Megan is okay with that idea and goes to show Alex to his room.

Actually, the three want to stay to wonder why they didn’t pick up on Neil’s death and then want to make sure that Neil is not faking it. Dana gets out a needle and stabs it into Neil’s heart.

With the needle going into Neil’s chest with no movement from Neil of any kind, they are convinced that his death is legit. Megan and Alex go up on an elevator and Alex reveals that he and Neil worked on a project together and Alex is a professor of anthropology at Yale. Megan notes that Alex is staring at her, which Alex responds with first, an apology and second, a belief that Neil was so in love with his work that he could never imagine him taking time out to get married.

Theresa shows Dana to her room and mentions these rooms have not been used in a long time as well as the fact that this hotel used have guests like the Queen of England. Dana meanwhile is fanning the aroma of hickory and dragon’s blood (a type of resin) with a feather and explains that she is cleaning Dana’s etheric body, which will protect her. She also warns Theresa that she is in great danger and she should not go near the fire place. Theresa asks why, and Dana just says she should just avoid the fireplace. Theresa runs out of the room, spooked by Dana’s ramblings and ways of doing things. Theresa then takes a peak through the keyhole and sees that Dana keeps a stuffed dog with her.

Theresa quietly calls Dana a screwball and sees Dana about to feed her dead dog, but she looks back and Theresa runs away thinking that Dana can detect her presence. As Alex is getting his stuff unpacked in his room, he sees a picture of a room that looks like the room he saw in his vision earlier. He rubs his hand on it and gets the vision of a masked man dancing with Megan (the woman from the first vision and Neil’s widowed wife).

Alex then sees the masked man remove his mask and look at the camera to reveal it is Neil.

He hears Neil’s voice saying once again that Alex can’t save her before he wakes up from his vision. Alex then sees that he crumbled the picture in his hand while seeing the vision. Theresa then shows Frank and Carissa to their room and while in the elevator, Frank asks if Theresa was at all friendly with Neil, which Theresa says not really. Then in the elevator, Carissa has a vision of something happening in this elevator and in the vision, we see that it is Neil raping a woman.

She explains what happened as Gallagher roars in the vision. Theresa wonders what is going on and Frank explains that Carissa is experiencing the past. Carissa says it was horrible and Theresa just says to not bring any of this up to Megan because she is upset enough as it is. They both confirm that they won’t reveal any of this to Megan.

Carissa and Frank are then in their room where Carissa says that with her visions (none which we see this time) that on this bed, two famous movie stars had sex on this bed. Frank says don’t bother with it as they have business to attend to. Carissa says that he knows she can’t help it. Frank says he does know, but he doesn’t want her becoming distracted. Frank says they have to use Carissa’s gift to find out what Gallagher was doing here. Carissa goes back to her vision and reveals that the two movie stars were Clark Gable and Carol Lombard. Well, the movie stars were married until Carol’s death in a plane crash, so I believe it.

That night as the sun sets, we see the puppet Pinhead coming out of Neil’s casket.

The guests have dinner with Megan and Megan reveals the history of the hotel as it has been with her family since the turn of the century. She says that her parents operated it until they died a few years ago. Dana then wants to hear about Megan and Neil. Megan reveals that she met Neil when he was staying here working on a project and became friends. She then reveals that when her parents died, he helped her through some rough times. Dana says that doesn’t sound like the Gallagher the rest of them know. Megan after giving Dana a look, explains that it was a surprise to her when Neil asked her to marry him as he said he loved her and offered to help her run the hotel. Dana then interjects that the whole lines about loving her and offering to help run the hotel does sound like Gallagher when he wanted something. Megan then continues that they got married two years ago next Friday.

I Hope Tiny Lister Jr. Wasn’t A Guess, He May Just Ruin Your Marriage.

Neil wanted to renovate the hotel completely, so they shut it down. Alex asks about Neil’s work and Megan explains that Neil really didn’t tell her much about it, although she knew it was important to him and she didn’t want him to stop. She reveals that in the last year of their marriage, he had been supervising construction all over the place and they really tore the place apart. She then explains that one day, Neil just stopped everything and for that same year, he started being locked up in his work, which she didn’t know what to do.

Dana then explains that she would have kicked that bastard out on his ass. Alex tries to have Dana go back to being nice and Megan gets upset saying that if Dana has something to say, then say it. Alex tries to assure Megan that Dana just likes to stir things up and not to let it bother her. Dana then says that the lady has invited her to speak and speak she shall. Alex tries to get Dana to shut up, but Dana will not. Dana says that there has been a question that has been burning inside of her. That question is: did it ever pass through Megan’s sweet, innocent, little mind that her husband maybe probably married her for her money. Frank says that a little sauce causes Dana to be quite the cynic. Dana then explains she is not a cynic, but instead prefers to think of herself as a nasty bitch.

Alex tells Dana that is enough, and Dana responds with a “Fuck You” while calling him an Ivy League Tight-Ass. She continues with we need to stop kidding themselves as the guests all know why they are here. Dana then says that the truth is that Neil was a despicable, greedy bastard. She explains that Neil screwed them, and they mean to even the score. Megan leaves in anger and Alex follows, not happy with what Dana said. He finds Megan outside and explains that they are what some call magicians. They all have to some degree…unusual, psychic powers. Neil brought them together several years ago to try and help in his research. He and Frank began studying the ancient Egyptian methods of the occult and the two found that evidence that the Egyptians had developed a secret method of giving life to inanimate figurines. The only secrets were passed down to a select few who knew and practiced magic.

Alex then explains that Dana makes her living telling fortunes and she used her powers to help Neil locate the last true alchemist of modern times in a famous puppet master of the 20s. He then says that Carissa was brought in because of her skills in psychometry and she can reconstruct the emotional history of an object by touch or feel. Basically, she can sit in a car and tell you who owns it as well as sit on a bed and tell you its entire history. When asked about what he does, Alex reveals that he dreams about things to come (remember that for later).

Meanwhile, Theresa decides to go clean up near the fireplace and if you remember Dana’s warnings, this will not end well for her. Theresa stokes the fire with the fire poker and then hears a noise from the piano. She looks and sees nothing there. She goes back to stoke the fire and put the screen up, but again…there is noise from the piano. Theresa pauses again to look, but no one is there again. Like an idiot, she doesn’t think someone is fucking with her and instead, thinks it was nothing and goes back to the fireplace. Lady, you had three chances to not be here and you ignored all three of them, so you deserve what the hell is coming to you. She goes back and crotches down, but notices that the fire poker is missing. Suddenly, Pinhead decides this bitch needs a good bludgeoning of the head with the fire poker.

Consider This Your Darwin Award.

There is a scream, and everyone gets up from the table so we the audience are to believe it was Theresa, but if you have any knowledge, you would know that she is too dead at this point to scream so it is revealed to be Megan. And what is she screaming about, you may ask? Well, we see her fainting while Alex looks over her and Neil’s body is sitting there on the seat still obviously dead.

As Alfred Hitchcock Would Say, Good Evening….

Neil is still dead here and while putting him back in his casket, everyone thinks that this must be a sick joke by Theresa for some reason since she is the only one not here, while we all know it isn’t Theresa since we just saw her get killed a minute ago. The group also decides that tomorrow, they are going to tear this place apart, so they can find Toulon’s secret. Megan wakes while Alex is sitting there, reading. He explains the situation and says they can’t find Theresa anywhere. Megan asks Alex why he came here, and Alex said he had to because he wanted to stop his dreams from coming true.

On a full moon…

Of Course, It Is A Full Moon With This Being Full Moon Entertainment

Carissa is taking a bath (so the viewers can see some boobs) and she has a vision that two Navy women had some lesbian sex in this bathtub.

Now Considering The Size Of This Tub, But I Saw Three Women Having A Three-Way In A Tub Only A Bit Bigger, But Not By Much In The Porn Film Witches OfBreastwick 2…Who Am I To Say Two Women Couldn’t Fool Around In That Bathtub?

Frank (after hearing the juicy details) tells Carissa that she might as well check up to see if she can find Neil Gallagher anywhere. Unless Neil jerked it in that exact tub, I don’t think she will be finding much where she is. He also wants her to pick up on that young wife of his as well…again, same problem as before.

Megan is still near Neil’s body in the casket, praying over it when we see the shadow of Jester in the background.

Hi, I Found This Nice Hat That Fits Me So Well That I Wont Be Wearing It For The Rest Of The Movie.

Back in the room, Frank is preparing for tonight’s experiment while we hear a fly is buzzing in the room (and like a true Full Moon Entertainment experience, that fly will never buzz again). Carissa wonders what happens if they find Andre Toulon’s secrets and Frank says that if he found it, he would rule the world. Carissa then asks if Frank thinks Megan is pretty, but Frank doesn’t answer. She wonders why he didn’t answer and leaves the bathtub to investigate, but the scary music is all for a simple jump scare of Frank popping out with pantyhose over his head.

They start making out as Alex sees Dana warding off evil on her door.

Door, You Are In Great Danger. Avoid Haddonfield Or Else You Will Get Kicked In By What Is Supposed To Be Busta Rhymes, But Really It Is Just A Little Kid (Go To The Halloween: Resurrection Induction To Get That Joke).

Alex asks what Dana is doing and Dana says we are all in danger as he means to kill us all. When she is asked who, she says Gallagher. When Alex gives her a look since Neil is dead, Dana says that even the dead have their ways. She gives Alex protection via blood from a bird’s foot.

Hey, Be Careful…Some Southern Folks Might Want To Eat That

Alex says thanks as he leaves. We go back to Frank and Carissa as they are in the middle of their experiment, which involves kinky sex.

I Agree, Bartok The Bat

They of course are doing this sex in hopes of opening up a channel to Neil Gallagher (as well as just being horny in a horror film). Frank gets tied to the bed via pantyhose and is blindfolded.

Again, we see Alex go to his room and sees that there are more magic spells left in his place by the “white witch” (Dana). He lights a candle and drinks as someone of puppet stature is also in the room. Alex hears a knock on the door and goes to answer, but no one is there. However, whatever puppet this is uses this opening to exit the room. Dana is back in her room having a essence candle lit as once again, she is talking to her dead and stuffed dog while reading tarot cards. She of course hears the sex from Frank and Carissa. It isn’t just her as Alex also hears the fornication going on as his room is also next to Frank and Carissa’s.

The puppet vision is once again from Blade and he decides that he is going to play Peeping Tom via a chair and through the keyhole.

Blade, You Degenerate

But Blade is not the only one who wants to see some fucking as a puppet named Tunneler comes to see through the keyhole as well.

Dammit Blade, Now You Are Setting A Bad Example By Letting Another Puppet’s Mind Get Corrupted By This Sexual Deviancy.

Of course, Tunneler opens the door to let himself in so we can see what he fully looks like.

Hi, I’m Here To Help Out In Any Way With This Sexual Experiment

Carissa stops as she heard the door opening but sees no one is now there. Carissa tells Frank that the door is open, and she thinks someone is in the room. Frank hears footsteps and tells Carissa to untie him and like a dumbass sexual partner, she does not. She thinks it is under the bed so she goes down to look. Well someone is under the bed and he have a drill for you, honey.

Frank thinks this must be a joke as a female puppet shows up.

This female puppet starts kissing Frank’s chest and Frank still thinks this is Carissa. By the way, this puppet is called Leech Woman, and can you guess why she has that name?

Yep…She Spits Out Leeches

Interesting note that the puppet can only spit out the leech 3/4ths of the way through so when the full leech is shown it is already out of Leech Woman’s mouth.

It takes just one for Frank to realize his blood is being sucked on a continuous basis. He is able to uncover one of his eyes by fidgeting with his blindfold and he can only scream as Leech Woman spits out more leeches, but both Dana and Alex think this is still just the couple fooling around.

He tries in vain to get out of his restraints, but with no help, he dies. Considering how slow leeches are with sucking your blood (these of course being average size leeches), it was definitely a slow and extremely painful way to go.

Dana meanwhile has grabbed a bottle of alcohol (I believe wine based on the bottle) and has decided she is going to get drunk. Oh, and once again, she is talking to her stuffed dog. She bumps into Alex, who is also walking the hallways. Alex complains about it being hard to sleep with Frank and Carissa’s love making going on. Dana invites him in for a little nightcap, but Alex declines, deciding instead to walk the halls to clear his head. Dana is then blunt about wanting to have sex with Alex, but again…he passes as he doesn’t think that would be a good idea.

Dana enters her room and sees that Neil’s body is in the room.

I Heard About Your Offers For A Nightcap. Now While I May Be A Married Man And Quite Recently Deceased, I Was Hoping I Could Take You Up On That Offer

Dana is not shy about her disgust for Neil saying that while he may be able to fool the others, she knows he is up to something. She then starts doing her parlor tricks on the body when Pinhead grabs her leg and twists it.

Pinhead continues his attack but seeing as she is still way bigger than him, she is not gonna be catching those hands. He tries to strangle her with obviously a midget stunt double’s hands.

After a struggle, she gets loose and crawls out of her room. Pinhead gets up and chases Dana to continue his attack which involves punching from the midget stunt double hands.

She once again is able to throw Pinhead away, but this time down the stairs so he won’t be able to get her easily this time. However, that is when Blade shows up.

Dana tries to use the elevator to escape, but when she gets to the first floor, Pinhead is waiting with some more punches to throw.

She throws Pinhead into the wall again, but suddenly Blade jumps out from the elevator hatch and with no place else for Dana to run, Blade dispatches her with a slice to the throat, making the visions of her own death come true.

Then Jester just appears to spin his face around and be happy.

Alex gets awakened by a knock on his door. It is Megan who wants to show him something. She talks about how she never put her husband’s death with the puppet master until after dinner. She shows him to an old dance hall that was in a higher floor. Megan then starts dancing with a man in a mask, who randomly appears.

After a few minutes of dancing, the masked man removes his mask to reveal Neil.

Neil says that Alex can’t save her and puts a gun to Megan’s head before pulling the trigger. Alex than awakens again.

Oh Bullshit!!!

Yes, the whole vision that Alex had in the beginning of this movie about a masked Neil going to shoot Megan was a vision of a later scene where Alex has the same dream. Seriously, that is it for this vision as it is never brought up again. All this waste for a fucking bullshit fake-out. You might be understanding why I do not care for the first Puppet Master film.

Oh, but it isn’t over yet as this is also a dream as Alex finds the dismembered heads of his friends under the covers.

Frank’s Head Asks Alex “What’s Happening?”

Alex once again awakens but like before Megan knocks at the door and once again tells Alex that she has something to show him. It all plays out like before in his dream, but this time she shows him a different room and there is no masked guy. Instead it is a room that houses all of Neil’s old books and one of them is Andre Toulon’s diary. Alex then has another vision of Neil with the dead stuffed dog and he points the trigger at Alex.

He then has Megan follow her as they go to the first floor. Alex then gets a vision of his friends eating dinner in the dining room, so he goes there to try and warn them. However, while they are all there, you can tell by now that they are all just corpses.

They go to leave, but a voice tells them not to go on his account. The voice is coming from the mastermind of all these puppets and if you haven’t guessed it by now based on all the visions and all the random appearances…

It’s Neil

Yep…it is the supposedly dead guy himself. You see, Neil did blow his brains out and was dead meta-physically speaking. However, he used the puppet masters spells to allow himself to come back from the dead, so he could live forever. All life apparently ends in dead, but for him now, there is no end. Alex then corrects him that he can’t only die naturally now. Neil tells him not to entertain the thought as it would take the destruction of his entire body (something Alex is not capable of doing as he is much stronger now than Neil ever was alive) to kill him.

When Alex asks why he killed everyone, Neil reveals that they are all joined by their thoughts and sooner or later, they would have discovered that he found Toulon’s secrets. So, he had to bring them all there, so he could continue his work. Besides, he says he is tired of experimenting with toys. He then throws Jester onto a seat, which pisses off the other puppets.

Neil reveals then that he wasn’t the first human experimented as Megan’s mom and dad hated him, so he killed them, which upsets Megan. Megan goes to slap him, but Neil catches her hand and punches her.

That’s Cold

Neil slaps Alex down too. Neil then starts punching Alex until Megan breaks a glass vase over his head.

Megan helps Alex up and the two try to escape. However, they are stopped by Theresa with a head wound on her.

She stops them from escaping while Neil continues his punching of Alex. Oh, and say goodbye to Theresa as she is never seen in this film again. As Doug and Rob Walker would say to the content producers who saw a mistake in their anniversary film, “Oh well...plothole.”

Neil tells Alex that it is time to die so he can live forever. After a distraction by Megan only gets a shove to the ground and a kick to the balls, Alex and Neil roll around trying to be at the advantage for the continued punching. Alex monkey flips Neil into the elevator where the puppets close the door. Neil then starts to figure out that yeah, you don’t piss off the puppets as they have no problem killing their supposed master. Then, the only good part of this film happens as Neil is gonna die.

Neil does take off Pinhead’s head, but Tunneler drills into Neil’s leg, making him only able to use one leg.

Neil throws Tunneler to the wall as he recovers from his fresh wound. But, as Pinhead starts putting his head together and Tunneler wakes up, Neil decides he needs to escape from the hatch in the elevator. Unfortunately for him, Blade is waiting, and he is not letting Neil get away. He uses his blade to chop Neil’s fingers off

Neil falls back on the ground as we see Neil’s fingers bleeding green blood.

The Green Blood Actually Helped Them Get This Scene Past The Censors Without An X Rating

As Alex watches in horror, Neil gets his head grabbed by Pinhead as Blade uses his look hand to keep Neil’s mouth open despite the gruesome pain of having Tunneler drill through his neck.

That allows Leech Woman who coughs up a leech down Neil’s throat.

After all of that, Pinhead snaps Neil’s neck so our big villain is dead; done in by his own puppets.

Megan cries after all of this as Alex comforts her.

The next day, Alex leaves by cab and says goodbye to Megan, who plans to stay and clean up the place. After that is over, Megan takes the stuffed dead dog Leroy and after a few minutes of walking up the stairs with it, it comes to life…showing that Megan has also learned the secrets of Andre Toulon.

Of course, a sequel of this film was made, and we are at film 12 of the Puppet Master series (one of which is a crossover with Demonic Toys). As far as director David Schmoeller goes, he does not direct another Puppet Master film. In an interview with Terror Trap (good website), Charles Band really did not want anyone besides himself to be credited with the creation of Full Moon’s biggest franchise. He was never approached for a director’s commentary of the film and Band still owes him residuals from the film. Personally, I find that kind of petty of Mr. Band, but I’m not at all surprised a low budget producer doing something this petty.

So, the aftermath is not that long, but instead we only have four people who passed away. As I mentioned in the Demonic Toys induction, Linda Cook (the voice of Leech Woman) sadly passed away at the age of 63 in 2012 from complications due to breast cancer. William Hickey (who played Andre Toulon) passed away in 1997 at the ager of 69 from emphysema and bronchitis (bad combo). Jimmie F. Skaggs (who played Neil Gallagher) passed away in 2004 at the age of 59 from lung cancer. Matt Roe (who played Frank Forrester) passed away in 2003 at the age of 53 from multiple myeloma.

As you might have guessed through induction, I do not like this film despite its cult status. I find this film very boring and the whole “Hey, Neil’s not truly dead despite all the times we tell you he is dead” twist is something you could see a mile away. Honestly, the film seems rather boring as it seemed more invested in the human characters than the damn puppets despite this film being called Puppet Master. We came to see puppets, not this bland, run of the mill characters and while the puppets do get the kills, there is long stretches where they are nowhere to be found. Oh, and the many plotholes that are just waived away like the earlier puppets no longer being around and whatever happened to Theresa were just infuriating. I almost forgot Jester. Well, you could forgive me for that despite being one of the major puppets that is in all of the films does nothing but spin his head, which you better get used to because that’s basically all he does. What a waste.

Now with that out of the way, it is sadly time to pay off the football bet, so I hoped you enjoyed last year’s summer inductions as well as the summer inductions from four years before that, because once again, Porno Pete takes control of what I have to induct.

Thank you. Although My Colleague Seems To Be Not As Thrilled, It Is Time Once Again To Enter The World Of Bustling Boobs And Nice Asses That Is Porn Because Movies With Monsters And Porn Stars Is Not Uncommon.

I see you wrote an opening for yourself.

Of course, I have…for you see when you win as many times as I have, you tend to get a bit of a flare for the showmanship.

NegaSeth better not be hearing you be so boastful.

Oh, I know. I have actually avoided that guy this whole year which you will not believe how hard that is.

Considering how the guy always finds me, I sadly wish I could be that lucky.

Yes…but enough about you as it is time you find out what your first induction shall be.

Jeez…I can’t wait.

Sarcasm is not really something I appreciate. Nonetheless, your first induction, which is ironically your 169^th induction overall (69…heh) is a blast from the past and an easy one for you as I know you actually had fun inducting the first Flesh Gordon film, so it is time you induct its sequel.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Impact Implosion 4/26 - The Post Impact Redemption PPV Show!

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Monster Crap Inductee: Puppet Master (1989)