Monster Crap
Inductee: The Mummy’s Kiss
Never Trust An Egyptian With The Name Hor
2003
Well,
thankfully it is the end of another summer of porn and thankfully, Porno Pete
went with a decent one to end on with The Mummy’s Kiss. Oh sure, this is a very
low budget film that you might not even be a fan of for the sex scenes (a
rarity in a porno). This is also a movie that had the rare DVD with commentary
and the even rarer R-Rated Cut.
God Dammit...If You Do That Cut, I Will Throw Such A
Fit.
Relax,
Pete…I wasn’t going to do that version. I don’t like censorship as much as the
next guy so I was gonna do the film as it was meant to be seen. Also, I also
get to make many of jokes about the director of this film Donald F. Glut. You
see, Donald F. Glut does direct these low budget skin flicks, but he also is a
prolific writer for several successful TV series and Shazam!
Seriously…The
Writer Of This, Also Writes And Directs Porn
In
fact, thanks to the DVD commentary, I also know that this film was actually
going to be the sequel to a film called The Erotic Rites Of Countess Dracula,
but since the 2000s The Mummy series was in its apex, he was convinced by
producers to do a mummy porno instead. And good thing he did as according to
IMDB, people remember him more for directing this than Erotic Rites of Countess
Dracula.
Now
for the cast, you know that it is going to be a bunch of porn actresses and the
star would be Mia Zottoli (under the name Ava Niche), who is very attractive.
But another surprise you might not expect is low budget star who has been seen
in plenty of other films, Richard Lynch is in this film. You might have seen
him in stuff like Invasion USA, The Sword & The Sorcerer, Alligator 2,
Trancers 2, Puppet Master 3, and of course at the end of his life and career,
Rob Zombie would use him in two of his films.
As
far as Monster Crap alumni goes, we have Arthur Roberts was Mr. Todd in
Chopping Mall. Tony Clay is also in this and he was the Invisible Man in Attack
of the 60 Foot Centerfold.
This
Guy
Doug
Goodreau is an actor in this film, but you would know that he did the
animatronics for Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College. And with that, let’s
start with the induction.
We
start off with Isis looking at the screen and dancing naked (she is naked
throughout the film) as Sawn Lake plays in the background and we get our title
card.
Thankfully
It Was Just Her Head When The Title Card Popped Or I Would Have Some Very
Interesting Black Box Work To Do
Oh
and there would be random shots of Egyptian hieroglyphics that were shot
actually Egyptian Theater in LA, instead of being in actual Egypt. Also Isis
here was a last minute addition to the film as the actress playing her got
hired at the last second due to her body (that’s how pornos work). Also the
special effects are done by John Carl Buechler who has had several credits in
Monster Crap history like directing like doing the effects for all three
Ghoulies films and Demonic Toys (although he is uncredited for that) as well as
having directing credits for Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College and of course,
Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood (which he also did the
effects for).
And
we start with the ass shot of one of the students as she goes into the
warehouse that is at a university.
Who
Says Listening To Director’s Commentary Has No Purpose? Because If You Didn’t
Listen To It, Most Of You Won’t Know That Whemple University Is Named After The
Main Good Guy (And His Dad) In The Original Mummy That Universal Did Years
Ago….Unless You Were A Film Buff Which While I’ve Seen Films, I Will Not Come
Close To Calling Myself One.
We
also meet the security guard in Chuck Jefferson and the girl’s whose ass the
camera was checking out in Ana Harwa, who is niece to Dr. Wallis Harwa, who we
will meet later. Once again, little knowledge from Director’s Commentary as
they got the last name Harwa from a mummy that is at the Field’s Museum in
Chicago.
She
asks if Professor Moore is in and Chuck says that he is and she can go in.We also meet the other security guard named Dick Walters. Walters is also the name of an art museum in Baltimore that also has a mummy.
Dick
allows Ana to pass as she meets up with Professor Carter Moore and his
assistant Tina Kim.
Oh
and Carter & Ana kiss in front of the assistant Tina, which….why do these
Mummy movies I induct always have Professors shacking up with students? I mean,
I believe this is once again unethical.
So
they open up the box they have which is a sarcophagus.
They
find out that the mummy’s name is Hor-Shep-Sut through the hieroglyphics on the
sarcophagus and open it.
The
mummy is wearing a mask that Tina explains is Osiris, the god of death and
resurrection. That’s partially correct although he also is considered god of
the afterlife as well as some other things so I promise not to get on my
Egyptian mythology high horse on this. Ana decides that she wants to touch and
thankfully for her, this mummy doesn’t have any fungus that can cause your skin
to burn off unlike Time Walker. But this mummy touch does cause Ana to have a
vision of a past life.
Black
Boxes Early
This
past life is as Princess Hat-Em-Akhet and Hor-Shep-Sut also shows up.
Ah
I See They Got That Old Slave Leia Garb On Hor-Shep-Sut
And she fills it out nicely.
That
she does and of course Hor-Shep-Sut and Hat-Em-Akhet have sex.
A
Writer For He Man & The Masters Of The Universe, Ladies & Gentlemen
Oh
yeah, I should mention that all of the sex scenes are between two women and
only one of these doesn’t feature these two actresses.
Definitely
Not The Porno For This Guy
Ana
wakes up from her vision and is checked on by Carter and Tina. Also, Ana stops
them from taking off the mask because they shouldn’t go any further without her
uncle being there (that’s her excuse), although as we will see later, there may
have been a different reason to keep that mask on. So they all go to class.
So
at Prof. Moore’s class, we see that all the female students have the hots for
him and of course are in their most provocative of outfits.
Meanwhile,
Ana goes to visit Uncle Wallis.
Hey,
Richard Lynch
Ana
wants to borrow a book on Ancient Egypt. She says she probably wants it because
of the mummy they just looked at. Wallis says that they jar he was looking at
is from that collection and someday he will get around to looking at all his
stuff. So he gives her a book on mummies and Ana leaves.
In
class, Carter talks about how he hates talking about the Crimean War. Carter is
a bit stiff so Tina gives him a massage.
Thankfully
It Isn’t A Mongoose Technique Like The Last Film
Oh
and apparently, Carter and Ana are engaged so I guess it is okay in this
universe for professors and students to hook up. I believe everywhere else, you
would get fired for that unethical stuff. So Ana shows up and Tina backs off,
unless Ana got the wrong idea about a massage. Ana busts on Carter asking if
there is some rule about teachers and students fraternizing. Um…honey, you are
engaged to a professor and everyone seems okay with it. That is completely
hypocritical, Ana. And also, Tina is an assistant, not a student….that I am
aware of. Oh and Ana is worried about someone coming in so……I guess this is
some secret, except Tina knows about it and Wallis knows about this to.
That
night, Dick and Chuck are locking up when Dick wants to see the mummy for
himself. Chuck is against such an idea, but when he goes to get coffee, Dick
decides he’s going to see the mummy anyway. Dick decides to be the one to
remove the mask.
The
mummy grabs Dick, and with all the smoke coming out of him, you can guess he
dies.
Well,
I Guess A Mummy’s Touch Can Kill You In This As Well, It Just Isn’t A Fungus
That Will Do It To You So It Is More Optional.
So
Chuck comes back with the coffee and realizes that Dick probably checked out
the mummy. Of course Chuck runs into the mummy instead.
Dammit
John Carl Buechler…..These Effects Are Too Good To Be In A Porno
Chuck
tries to shoot at the mummy, but it does not good. Then it transforms into a
beautiful lady.
You
Wouldn’t Shoot At A Pretty Woman Like Me, Would You? Doesn’t Matter…As Has Been
Shown, Bullets Have No Effect On Me.
Hor-Shep-Sut
says some words and puts Chuck under her spell. He then takes his essence…or as
it is called here, ka.
I’m
Sure That Kiss Was Worth It
She is gonna have to do more than kiss to get my ka.
Oh
Will You Stop?
And
yes, that was my honoring the late Bobby The Brain Heenan who Gorilla Monsoon
used to say that to.
RIP
Bobby Heenan
So
now Chuck is basically a slave to the resurrected sorceress, she says they have
much work to do, and they leave.
The
next day, the three girls from earlier named Shiva, Carrie, and Jeanette (still
in the same clothes) once again try to hit on Prof. Moore and he says hello to
them to while Tina is with him, basically remarking that they are groupies for
him. He then says he bets when Tina was a student, she also had a crush on her
ancient history professor. Tina says that yes she did and it was he who was her
professor. He takes a call from Dr. Harwa, who tells him about the supposed
break-in at the warehouse. Basically, the only thing that was taken was Dr.
Harwa’s ancient Egyptian collection, including the mummy. He finds it odd that
nothing else was taken as some of the artifacts are of equal value on the black
market. Basically, the police feel it was an inside job, but have nothing else
other than that. Prof. Moore says that whoever did this is going to have one
hell of a time trying to sell it all. Harwa says that doesn’t matter as he has
some ominous feeling of evil about the mummy. Basically, Harwa has a feeling
that some bad shit is going to go down.
Ana
heads home and gets the message on her answering machine from Carter about the
robbery, but he still wants to have dinner with her. Meanwhile at a run-down
theater, Hor-Shep-Sut and Chuck have set up shop and the mask is on a random
statue. She summons Osiris and Isis.
Anyone
Wanna Walk Like An Egyptian?
Osiris
calls her evil one and asks what she wants. She wants to find Hat-Em-Akhet and
be joined once again with her love. Isis says that first she must find the host
body and then Osiris says she must strengthen her power even more, despite the
Amulet of Osiris she already has giving her power. She of course must do this
to have enough power to summon the princess’ immortal spirit. She can do this
by find young beauties and stealing their kas with a kiss. They say she must
accomplish those first and then they will say the last thing she must do.
Ana
arrives late to class and is about to talk about the Crimean War again, but
with the theft of the mummy, he has decided instead to talk about Egyptian
mummies. He talks about some Ancient Egyptian facts. When asked about curses
and mummies coming back to life, he says those are only in the movies. While
mummies coming back to life is only in the movies, the curses part might have
some validity to it considering there are quite a few coincidences that
happened to some of the discoverers of these tombs. Later on, class ends and
Moore talks to Ana about almost missing class, but she apologizes and seems
alright with dinner tonight. Also lunch with him also seems to be okay with
her, but she needs to freshen up first.
Then
Hor-Shep-Sut shows up using the name Ramsay Amun. She talks about picking up
Moore’s class next semester as she loves Ancient History, especially Ancient
Egypt. Aw…a woman kinda after my own heart, although I also love Ancient Greece
and Ancient Rome, mostly on the mythology side…let’s get back to the movie. Ana
comes back in interested in someone being Egyptian. The two meet and it is
obvious to Ramsey that Ana is the vessel of her long dead lover’s spirit.
Ramsey asks Ana out to lunch and Moore accepts that he will only see Ana for
dinner.
At
lunch, Ramsay enjoys the coffee a lot. Ana keeps trying to remember where they
have met before and after their past selves flashbacks of them having sex,
Ramsey says that perhaps she will remember soon. Ramsey hints that Ana may have
the blood of the pharaohs running in her veins and Ana is a little confused by
this. Oh and Ana admits her and Carter are having a thing, although now she is
unsure of everything. Yeah, we may need the heads at this college to look at
Prof. Moore for unethical behavior. Ramsey says that maybe Carter is not the
right one for her as she rubs her hand.
Not
Very Subtle, Are You, Ramsey?
She
then says maybe Ana should give her body, soul, and heart to someone else who
deserves it. They leave after that and Ramsey gives her another Amulet of
Osiris, which Ana accepts. Back at the school, two women (Helena and Yvonne) come
to Prof. Moore to talk about their papers (which are due next month), but are
really trying to come on to the Professor by showing their breasts.
Dear
God, Man!!!!
Moore
is very flustered by these two girls coming on to him when someone tries to
enter, but the door is locked. Realizing that their attempt has been foiled,
the two girls put their tops back on and unlock the door before leaving. The
person who was wanting to get in was the assistant Tina, who the two girls
think the Professor may be in a relationship with.
Remember
That For Later.
Oh
and outside, the two reveal that their attempt to get with the professor failed
and they instead need to find something to be a topic for their paper. They
also hint at hooking up later tonight as they need to get rid of some pent-up
energy. Ramsey notices them and realizes she may have found her beauties who
she needs to take kas from.
Carter
goes by Ana’s place for dinner, Carter looks at her and doesn’t think her
skimpy outfit will pass the restaurant’s dress code. After being let in, Carter
tries to make some moves on Ana, but the eyes of Ramsey fade in and that causes
Ana to now not be in the mood. Ana then says that she is not feeling well and
she is going to have to take a rain check on dinner tonight. The professor is
also interested in the amulet, but Ana doesn’t say much of it other than that
it is old.
We
go to Helena and Yvonne in a bedroom still trying to figure out a topic while
an old mummy movie plays in the background (a short that Donald Glut made years
before this film and when he was not a professional filmmaker yet). The two
reveal that they need to pass this course and eventually, the two start having
sex with each other.
From
A Writer Of Transformers (The Original Cartoon)
Back
at the theater, Hor-Shep-Sut gets some blood out of Chuck into a cup.
This
Does Not Kill Chuck Though Although The Way It Is Framed, It Looks Like It
Could Hit An Artery That Would Kill Him.
She
uses this spell to teleport into the girls’ room.
Hi
There
She
pretends like she is gonna have a three way with the girls, but instead she
kisses them and steals their kas.
Carter
meets with Wallis to ask if anything new has come up the robbery and Wallis
says no. Wallis says it was fortunate for him that he brought some of these
artifacts to his office for study before the robbery. Wallis reveals that he
got the heart of Hor-Shep-Sut in a jar and a scroll explaining what happened.
Basically, the pharaoh tried to get his daughter Princess Hat-Em-Akhet married
and for every suitor, she turned them down. This happened because the princess
was in love with the sorceress Hor-Shep-Sut. We then get another love scene
between the two.
A
Writer Of The Original Spider-Man Cartoon As Well As Spider-Man And His Amazing
Friends
It
turns out the pharaoh learned of this and was furious so he made his Nubian
guards seize the sorceress.
There
was no trial and the sorceress was punished with death and a curse. She was
tied up as the embalmers put the Mask of Osiris on her, making her spirit
trapped in her body and never going to the afterlife.
Yeah,
If You Have Ever Seen Mario Bava’s Black Sunday (Otherwise Known As The Mask Of
Satan As Well As Revenge Of The Vampire), You Know Where Donald Glut Got This
Mask With Spikes For The Eyes From.
The
embalmers then cut out her heart, which in this case was the only internal
organ removed (they normally remove all the other organs out of the body and
have a certain pick that goes through the nose and takes out the brain).
They
then put her in a sarcophagus.
One
That Might Have Been Too Big For Her
And
buried her in an unmarked tomb.
Although
They Decided At Some Point To Only Carry The Cover Because Less Weight For The
Actors.
Oh
And Richard Lynch Might Be Trying To Hide That He Is Flipping Off The Camera.
Carter
doesn’t believe any of this. But Wallis says he has been an archeologist for
many years and if he has learned one thing, it is to never take the
superstition of his people lightly. Yeah, they are trying to say he is part
Egyptian, but yeah right on that. Richard Lynch was born to Irish Immigrants.
The closest he came to being Egyptian is the one time he took LSD and set
himself on fire in Central Park behind the Metropolitan Museum of Art near
Cleopatra’s Needle, which is why his face is rather scarred. Look it up, he
legit did that.
Carter
then says he came here to discuss Ana, as she has been acting rather different.
Wallis then makes Carter to look at the scroll and they both see that Ana kind
of looks like Princess Hat-Em-Akhet. Wallis warns that forces may be at work
here. Carter goes to leave, but Wallis stops him and wants him to give an
amulet that was on the jar that contained the sorceress’ heart to Ana as it
will protect her against evil.
Back
at the theater, Helena and Yvonne are dressed up in Handmaiden’s attire.
Hor-Shep-Sut
summons Osiris and Isis again, saying she strengthen her power with the kas of
Helena and Yvonne, who are now her handmaidens. She also says she has selected
the body to receive the soul of the princess and….wait a minute. They said they
needed her to find the vessel that the soul of the princess is trapped in.
Dammit…movie, you can’t change the damn rules mid movie. Anyway, it is
basically time for the god and goddess to tell her what to do next. Osiris says
she must perform the sacred ritual that will join the sorceress’ heart with
that of Hat-Em-Akhet. But Hor-Shep-Sut reveals that her heart was taken and
Osiris says she must then find her heart as it still exists. Isis says the
heart is where it should be.
The
next day, the three groupie women from before are in the classroom waiting for
the Professor. They are worried about the professor and think something is
bothering him. They trash his fiancée and his assistant, when the assistant
shows up, surprisingly not hearing them. They say the professor better show up
and hint that they are only in this class for him as they really don’t like
ancient history. The professor shows up with a slide show device and reveals he
needs to take care of something so his assistant will have to teach class
today. Of course he leaves and the three groupies leave too. They talk to Prof.
Moore and like the last two women, try to hit on him by showing their breasts.
*Sigh*
I Can Only Sigh At This Point
He
leaves, basically brushing them off. Meanwhile, Ramsay comes to Ana’s house.
Ramsey once again hints at her being a princess. Ramsey asks for coffee as she
likes coffee now. Ramsey asks about her interest in ancient Egypt and Ana says
she guesses it is influence from her uncle. Ana apologizes for it being Decaf,
but Ramsey doesn’t mind. Ana then reveals that her uncle is Dr. Wallis Harwa,
the archeologist. She also says that her uncle found the tomb of Hor-Shep-Sut.
She talks about the robbery, as well as the fact Wallis kept some of the
artifacts in his office and of course, that clues Ramsey in on who has her
heart. Ramsey then puts Ana’s hand on her heart after kissing it and Ana still
doesn’t get the hint that she is attracted to her, still asking where they know
each other from. Ana also says it is strange that she can’t feel Ramsey’s
heartbeat. They are about to kiss when Carter enters the house. Ramsey leaves
as Carter wants to talk to Ana about something.
Carter
says something is happening to Ana and he doesn’t know what. Carter asks if Ana
still loves him and Ana says she isn’t sure she ever really did. Ana apologizes
to Carter if she hurt him, but the engagement is basically off now. Carter
wonders if it is that Ramsey woman as Ana looks outside and sees Ramsey looking
at her.
I
See You When You Sleep
Ana
goes back to talking to Carter as Ramsey teleports away. Ana says that she and
Ramsay are longtime friends and even Carter finds that hard to believe. Ana
basically tells Carter to leave.
At
the café later, Tina reveals to Carter that the slideshow presentation went off
without a hitch. She senses something is wrong with him and asks about it.
Prof. Moore basically admits that he thinks that Ana just dumped him. Tina
apologizes and says she knows how much her boss loved her. Carter doesn’t
understand it all as one minute they are in love and the next, they aren’t.
Carter then says it is that woman. He better not start punching like Flesh
Gordon did. Tina tries to have him maybe forget about Ana. Carter says that
maybe Tina is right, but he is still worried about her.
Ramsey
has gone to the university and asks some teachers where Dr. Harwa is. They
direct her to her office and after she leaves, they kind look at each other
like Harwa is about to get some. Carter calls Dr. Harwa and admits that Wallis
may be onto something with his niece. Carter also says that Ramsey looks like
Hor-Shep-Sut on the scroll. Suddenly, Ramsey opens the door to Dr. Harwa’s
office. Wallis drops the phone and Carter wonders what is going on. The
sorceress says that the archeologist might have something of hers. Wallis tries
to play dumb, but Hor-Shep-Sut isn’t falling for it. Harwa tries to stop her, but
she uses magic to cause him to have heart issues. Ramsey finds the jar that has
her heart and grabs it. Wallis asks what this sorceress has done with his niece
and Hor-Shep-Sut says nothing as of yet, but with some time Ana will realize
her true identity and her destiny. Harwa tries to stop her once last time, but
she uses more force on her spell and leaves Harwa gasping for air. Carter tries
to call the professor again, but it is a busy signal so they run to his office.
Back
at Ana’s house, Ana is still reading that book on mummies when the amulet glows
and she is whisked away into another moment between Princess Hat-Em-Akhet and
Hor-Shep-Sut.
Where
The Sorceress Gave The Princess That Same Amulet Too.
She
gets up and takes off her engagement ring, signifying the relationship between
her and Carter is finally over.
Meanwhile, Hor-Shep-Sut is getting fanned by Chuck while she drinks
another cup of coffee.
Better
Be Careful You Don’t Drink Too Much Coffee Or You Will End Up Like Tweek From
South Park
For
some reason, Ana arrives to the run down theater and is immediately grabbed by
the possessed Helena and Yvonne.
Ana
is taken to Hor-Shep-Sut who she realizes is Ramsey. Hor-Shep-Sut reveals there
is no Ramsey and there soon will be no more Ana. Back at the office, Carter and
Tina find Dr. Harwa dying from the spell the sorceress put on him. Tina calls
for an ambulance as Wallis tells Carter that the Hor-Shep-Sut is alive and Ana
is in danger. He begs the professor to save his niece as he dies.
Tina
is saddened by his death as Carter consoles her and they leave to save Ana.
Back at the theater, the handmaidens have put Ana in the clothes that the Princess
wore (how the sorceress had them is anyone’s guess). Oh and any problem Ana may
have to her soul being taken is undone when Ana and Hor-Shep-Sut have sex.
One
Time Writer For Captain Caveman And The Teen Angels, GI Joe, Johnny Quest, DuckTales,
Dino-Riders, The Original Land Of The Lost, And Challenge Of The Go-Bots
It
is night and finally Carter and Tina have reached the theater. They are first
met by Chuck who tries to shoot them.
While
this is all going on, the sorceress is performing the ceremony and is told by
Osiris and Isis to cut out her heart so the two hearts could be joined forever.
How
Much You Wanna Bet Osiris Is Only Doing This Because He Had To Pay Off A Bet He
Lost To Anubis? Isis Of Course Being There To See How It Goes.
Of
course Carter and Tina try to wrestle the gun away from Chuck and the gun kills
Chuck instead. But the gunfire attracts the attention of Hor-Shep-Sut and the
handmaidens. The two handmaidens are tasked to deal with this. Chuck apologizes
for all he has done and begs them to stop all of this as he dies.
Dammit…The
Black Guy Almost Survived The Whole Movie
The
two handmaidens show up and knock out Carter. They then try to molest Tina for
some reason, ripping off her clothes so her breasts are showing.
Tina
grabs the amulet handed by Carter to her, which was given by the late Dr. Harwa
as protection and puts it on them, causing them to smoke and go down, but not
kill them.
Tina
wakes up Carter as they move to save Ana. Hor-Shep-Sut is about to finish the
ceremony by plunging the dagger into Ana and getting her heart, but Carter and
Tina show up. Carter tries to shoot her, but the gun has no bullets.
Uh
Oh
Hor-Shep-Sut
says her power has grown a lot and she can do things to them like never
imagined. Then her eyes glow and Carter goes down in pain.
The
sorceress goes to stab him.
Stabby
Stabby
But
for some reason she leaves Tina alone so Tina can grab the Mask of Osiris and
shove it on Hor-Shep-Sut’s face.
Enjoy
Halloween, Lady
This
causes the sorceress to suffer in pain as her powers are gone and Isis shows up
for one last time.
You
Stupid Bitch!!! Now Osiris Can’t Pay Off His Damn Bet!!!
The
sorceress grabs on to Ana’s comatose body for one last time (turning one of
Ana’s highlights from blonde back to brunette like the rest of her hair) as
Isis turns her back into a mummy.
The
mummy then falls down dead. Now remember that whole thing about the students
believing that Carter was boinking his assistant? Well, it pays off here as Carter
and Tina kiss so they are now a couple.
Helena
and Yvonne show up wondering what happened and why are they in the outfits they
are in. Ana also wakes up and also wonders what is going on and they all leave
with Ana smiling at the case the holds Hor-Shep-Sut’s heart. Carter and Tina
then reseal the mummy and put it into special storage so it can never be opened
again until some foolish archeologist decides to check it out again.
Or
Somehow The Cast Of Storage Wars Get That Storage Unit
Oh,
by the way, that would be the ending. But in case you didn’t get the hints, it
is revealed plain and simple that Hor-Shep-Sut did transfer her soul into the
body of Ana and now Ana is still around as we are reshown the events with the
mummy that came to this moment.
The
credits have the handmaidens from the past visions which I never showed dancing
and our movie is over with threat of a sequel. Well, a sequel did come out, but
it is a completely different story with a different cast. I’m not inducting
that one now as we are finally finished with this summer.
Oh, but you will induct The Mummy’s Kiss 2nd
Dynasty next time I win. Oh, you will.
Well,
I won’t have to worry about that for a while so let’s get into the aftermath
with the cast. Like I said, Mia Zottoli (who played Hor-Shep-Sut/Ramsey) was
engaged to Thomas Haden Church and has to kids from him, but the two have since
separated. Her last movie was Blood Scarab in 2008 where she played an evil
mummy/sorceress named Hor-Sep-Sut (yes, they just removed the H there). Sasha
Peralto (who played Ana/Princess Hat-Em-Akhet (was also in Blood Scarab as
Princess Hat-Em-Akhet (didn’t change her name), but her last film was in 2011
and it was called Within: Terror Resides. Regina Russell (who played Helena) retired
from films in 2008 and married the drummer from Quiet Riot Frankie Banali, his
second wife after his first wife passed away in 2009. Richard Lynch (who played
Dr. Harwa) continued with his career as a low budget actor who sometimes
appeared in something important until his death in 2012 of a heart attack at
the age of 72.
My
thoughts on the movie are……it’s actually okay. For a porn version of the many
and many Mummy movies, it does its damn job well. The actresses are attractive
and they mostly cared about the story first and the sex scenes second. I can
see why there is an R-rated cut of this film and the effects are great.
Unfortunately, the acting at times does leave a bit to be desired and you can
tell that Richard Lynch was probably just doing this for a damn pay check. It’s
not the best porn I’ve inducted (Flesh Gordon gets that mark), but it is better
than most of the terrible porn films.
Well,
the Summer of Porn Part 2 is over and oh look, NegaSeth is back.
Did
You Miss Me??
As
much as I missed a rash on my groin.
Yeah, well I enjoyed your induction on The Erotic
Ghost
Of
course you did. You love to see me suffer. Anyway, October is coming up so you
know that means I’m doing a theme month and this time, it’s a month to honor
the memory of Tobe Hooper, who has passed away. I gave us 8 films to nominate
since you were still not available for the poll and since you are back, I’ll
give you the honor of announcing the winner.
It would be my honor to watch you suffer through some
crap that was made by the guy who made Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So let’s see
what it is…
*NegaSeth
looks at the winner and is not amused*
You did this just to piss me off with the fact that it’s
a movie that you are not going to suffer through.
I
Think This Smile Answers That Question Quite Well
You prick…
That’s
funny coming from a guy who would find me calling you that a compliment. So go
on, do what you normally do and tell me what I induct next.
Fine…your next film is going to be an insane film that
deals with a killer old school press. It also will be your first film dealing
with Robert England the actor, not the director. It is another movie based on a
Stephen King short story that you have dealt with before and has the name of…
