Saturday, May 31, 2025

Monster Crap Inductee: The Jurassic Games (2018)

Monster Crap Induction: The Jurassic Games
To Quote George Carlin: “It’s All Bullshit, Folks And It’s Bad For You.”

2018

Most times, mixing two films ideas together don’t work well at all and one of those ideas that for some reason, I have seen several mixtures of such is The Hunger Games. There is The Starving Games, The Hangover Games, and of course the film that was chosen by TheDeadRises (the 2nd place winner of the Monster Crap NFL Pick’em as the 1st place winner never bothered to give me any movie for these summer inductions), The Jurassic Games. This also will be a first for a distribution studio that as someone who watches more than 100 movies every year, I have seen and anytime I see them, I have learned to freaking cringe because I know I am in for a really bad experience with a film.

It’s Really Become A Bane Of My Existence In Doing A Year End Movie List

Basically, this is a company that buys movies for very low prices (because they are also low budgted films) and just puts them out in hopes they get something out of it. Such films from them have been in my Year End worst lists like Forsaken, Demon Tongue, The Snare, Alien: Reign Of Man, Gremlin (which the director of The Jurassic Games before this), The Elf, Cold Moon, Cartel 2045, Killing Joan, Defective, Cupid, Hellkat, and most notoriously for me, Lockdown (My Worst Film Of The Year For 2022). I normally make jokes about running if you see a Trimark logo or Universal Studios being my arch-nemesis, but those are in fun. I want to be very serious and say if you see an Uncork’d logo…..burn it with fucking fire.

Anyway, this movie only tries to tease you with the mixture and doesn’t bother to put some kind of actor’s name on the cover, which is for good reason because they have no actors to put on the marquee. But there are Monster Crap alumni who are in this film. One of them is Ryan Merriman who has twice been on Monster Crap before.

He Was Myles Barton AKA Deckard In Halloween: Resurrection (You Know, The Online Boyfriend That Our Main Character Had Who Is In Middle School While She Is In College).

And Was Kevin Fischer In Final Destination 3 Who Said “Fuck You, Ben Franklin”.

Then we have Perrey Reeves who was in Child’s Play 3.

She Was De Silva

Other alum include Rett Terrell (who played some guy named Max in Vampire Sucks).

And with that all out of the way, let’s get to this crappy movie.

We begin with the Uncork’d logo.

Get Used To Me Hating This Company

And this movie starts off with a quote from someone you would never expect to be quoted in a film like this.

Even George Carlin Would Say “Guys, I Said That As Part Of A Gag. I Didn’t Really Mean For You To Quote Me”.

We then go to a high tech lab where they are doing high tech things. And people are in VR.


We then get two people watching a TV as they are hearing news that a startling verdict in a controversial murder trial. Basically some guy named Anthony Tucker has been found guilty of first degree murder.

And They Are Upset So They May Know Anthony Tucker

We go out of the courtroom where the lawyer says that his client maintains his innocence. We then see Anthony Tucker meeting a hologram person who invites him to compete in the Jurassic Games and if he wins, he gets his freedom. He accepts.


We see an Entertainment Tonight type news show that talks about the contestants being announced and the two women not caring as they want to see the attractive host. Then we see the host putting on his VR set.

Which Is Freaking Ridiculous

And finally we get the opening title card.


We find our group of contestants waking up in a VR world with collars strapped to their necks.


The host then talks with the stupid mask on his head telling the contestants this all must feel real to them even though it is a VR simulation. He tells them to them, this is real because the danger and pain will be very real. He also says the reward is also real and when he sees someone fidgeting with the collar, the host says to be careful with that because that collar is kind of a bomb and if he keeps fidgeting with it, he will go boom. He tells them that if they die here, they die for real. They are all here for one reason and that is to win their freedom, basically saying they are all on death row and they can avoid the death they so rightfully deserve by winning and proving their worthiness. Basically, they need to be the sole survivor and he knows that they may be tempted to try and kill each other, but to please leave enough alive for the main attraction, which is the dinosaurs here. He says a few miles from them is a tree line which will be the first objective to get to because that is a temporary safe zone. He also says their collars will alert them when they arrive as red says they are too far away, yellow meaning they are close, and green meaning they are there. He tells them they need to reach this safe zone in one hour or they die. Their real bodies are also set up with lethal injection tubes and if they die in the game, that lethal injection will kill them for real. He then congrats them on no longer being death row inmates for now and instead being contestants on what he calls the greatest game show ever, The Jurassic Games.

A T-Rex Then Shows Up So They All Have To Run

And one of them gets eaten immediately.


We then go to the unmasked host in the studio who reveals to the audience the time and says they have to make that safe zone before it hits zero.


They then take the dead guy away.


The host then goes off camera and tells the head of the studio named Savannah that the lineup they have is gorgeous and they will hit all the key demographics. She agrees and says that it is the best cast yet. Meanwhile, we see parents letting their kids watch this violent show while they are eating cookies made like dinosaurs and contestants.


Oh This Is False As Some Pearl Clutching Woman Would Refuse To Let Her Son Watch This Stuff

We then see two contestants fighting each other.

And The Skinny White Guy Here Is Definitely A Cannibal

The host goes back on camera and says the most of them will probably reach the safe zone, but in the end, 9 will die and 1 will win. Oh and there are four stages, which are by far the best ever….so says the host. Basically stage 1 is to find the safe zone and avoid hungry dinosaurs. Stage 2 will be a maze where they have to get to the end without being eaten by raptors. Stage 3 will be will be a minefield where they will have to avoid mines and being pterodactyl chow. The last stage will be a mystery. We then get a TV style intro with a narrator basically telling us all the things we already know. We then finally get our contestants.

Like William Davis, The Guy Who Got Bit In The Neck By The Cannibal

Ren Saizo

Victor Gonzalez aka El Avispa, Which Means The Wasp

And we would continue to know more about our contestants, but this film decides we don’t need to know that and go back to the studio where we see the crew setting stuff up. The host then reveals the dead guy was Dr. Eli Franklin, who was a bomber.

Oh Yeah, Definitely Hate This School Bomber.

The host (who that’s his name in the credits) says Dr. Franklin wasn’t one of his favorites anyway. We then see William meet a woman as he is cleaning his neck wound. She asks if he knows where the safe zone is and he decides to strangle her.


Tucker then shows up to save her and take down William.


They fight with William doing most of the beating and telling the woman “You’re next, bitch”. Tucker does the old dirt to the eyes trick and hits him over the head with a rock.

It Was Not A Really Big Rock. Medium At Best.

He leaves as William is down because we cant have our main character who was obviously framed for murder kill someone at this time so the woman finishes the job by bashing his head in with the rock.


She then looks at him like “What?”. She then calls Tucker a pussy and Tucker says that he isn’t here to kill anyone. The woman says she is here to kill everybody, except Tucker since Tucker just saved her life so he gets to live a little longer. She then tells him to lighten up and she says to come with her as she thinks the safe zone is that way. And as they leave a little Compsognathus starts snacking on William’s body.


We then see there is a protest over these games.


This studio of course has abilities to mute the outside so they can continue. We then go to Tucker’s house as his kids are being prepped to be shown for an interview about their dad.

Yeah, The Two Kids From Earlier Who Were Upset About The Conviction Of Tucker Were His Kids.

The interviewer named Laura asks the daughter Baily about her father being in The Jurassic Games and she says that it is basically his only chance to get out. The son Andrew says he didn’t commit any cries and was framed for killing their mom. Laura then asks them to leave a message for the father and Baily says for dad to please survive. Andrew wants him to be gotten out of the games as they know he is innocent so the interview is ended. We also see the protest was for the interview crew as they are working for the studio.

In the car, Laura is upset that the studio made her talk to her kids and the other guy is like they think he is innocent. She says it doesn’t matter as even if they find proof about his innocence, they’ll never hear about it. Savannah wonders if the dinosaurs are close and a tech says they are close so it will build tension. The head doesn’t care about tension as all she thinks the audience wants are the kills. She also says to stay on Tucker as the audience are sympathetic with him and they want to watch him die live.

We go back to Tucker and the woman he saves as she wants to talk about his wife who was tortured before she died. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but the woman wants to know what she was thinking as she died. She says that some people can turn the guilt and pain off at will like her. She says it is clear why the world thinks you are innocent and she says if it makes him feel any better, she also believes he didn’t kill his wife. She then decides at this exact moment to attack him. She tries hanging him.


She then kicks him in the balls and says she will see him in the next round. Of course, he may not make the next round if he is freaking dead. Back in the studio, the host laughs and is happy the woman who Tucker saved did what she did. He then asks for some wind so Tucker can sway a little bit as he is dying.


Major Douches Running This Show. I Bet They Both Voted For Trump (The Characters, Not The Actual Actors Although If The Actual Actors Did, It Wouldn’t Surprise Me At This Point.)

The studio head says they roll the package on the woman and we find out she is Sarah Lafort aka Joy.


They reveal Joy here is the youngest Death Row inmate to join the Jurassic Games. They then show an interview with Joy from Laura

It’s Really Badly Shot In The Dark

Joy tried to make a prison break during this interview so it ends with her back in jail. In the studio, the host goes up to Tucker’s body (set up to the VR) and taunts him about how he is still hanging in there. He also taunts him about letting a little girl take him out this early because you always want the sympathetic person to stay alive as long as possible. Tucker is then saved by Ren.


Ren tells him to get up and that they must work together for as long as they can because there are things more terrible than them in this game. Basically as individuals they don’t stand a chance, but together they can win this game and escape together. He tells him they must get to the safe zone as they are being hunted. He listen and says there are three dinosaurs after them so they must go now.

In the studio, Laura is watching Ren’s confessions to his crimes and his urge for people to not be sheep. Savannah shows up and asks if she is going to play that and Laura said no as she doesn’t want to start an uprising. Laura expresses that she is upset that she had to interview Tucker’s children and Savannah says it is for the audience so they could want Tucker to win more since it is has been a long time since they had a contestant might be innocent. Laura says his children definitely believe he is innocent and she is upset that they will see him get ripped to shreds on live TV. Savannah tells Laura that no one is forcing her to be here and there are a number of people who want her job. Laura says that she knows and she wants to be here. Savannah leaves, but not before warning Laura to never question an assignment ever again or she will be fired.

We then see The Wasp get his leg caught in a gap between some rocks. He gets out, but not before showing that he is bleeding. We then see a giant spider in the area. The Wasp is running at. Two other guys show up and we see that they are the Mason Brothers who are planning on killing the long haired guy, but first they would like to know where the safe zone is.


Back in the studio, the tech says the raptors have entered the canyon area which upsets the host who wanted them there later. The Wasp proclaims who he is and that he can get people who can help all three of them, but the Mason brothers don’t give a shit. He then says he can save their mom and they can see her alive and well if they help him. The two brothers don’t care for the threats and attack. Big brother stops little brother from continuing the attack as he sees the raptors.

No, Guys….Please Continue Your Fight And We’ll Take The Winner.

Little brother wonders what the raptors are waiting for as we see back in the studio, the host also senses something about to happen so he tells them the staff to wait too. The host then tells the tech to have the raptors disappear. The crowd at a bar is upset that no raptor lunch is had and Savannah shows up in the studio mad because their ratings have dipped 4%. She is mad that the raptors were stopped and the host explains that it is called foreplay. The host then gets back on the camera and says to the audience that could there be an alliance between the Mason Brothers and The Wasp, which would be a match made in hell and he would hate what that could mean for the other contestants.

They then go back to where the Mason Brothers and The Wasp are at with The Wasp once again trying to get an alliance with the two by dangling the mother carrot at them. When the little brother is against this, The Wasp then says their mom is dying of cancer, which no one dies of anymore because of a treatment. He says that if they help him, they will get to be able to save her from cancer. Big brother then agrees that they’ll help him, much to the chagrin of his brother. Back in the studio, the host reveals that none of them know that The Mason Brothers’ mother already passed away from cancer yesterday. He says they will see the Raptors soon because Stage Two is up next.

After they go a break, the host tells Savannah that they need to keep the Mason Brothers alive as long as possible so they can get a Cain and Abel type situation. The tech reveals that the contestants are reaching the safe zone. Ren and Tucker arrive at the safe zone first. We then go to a blonde named Stephanie who we only saw at the beginning of the Jurassic Games. She sees some berries and picks a few.


She is then met by the cannibal asshole from earlier who is named Albert.

Thankfully, He Doesn’t Eat Her And Instead Just Steals Her Berries To Eat.

The stage 2 door shows up and both of them enter. We see Joy also enter, but not before killing an innocent dragonfly.

BOOOOO!!!!!!!

We then go to the safe zone where Tucker, Joy, Ren, Albert, Stephanie, The Wasp, and The Mason Brothers all make it. Tucker and Joy are about to attack each other, but the studio presses a button and they are all knocked out so they can head to Stage 2. We then get a fake commercial for The Jurassic Games toys with Tucker and Albert toys fighting each other with the help of kids. And yes, all ten contestants are toys and if you get all ten, you get a brand new version of the host toy. I would say this is inappropriate for kids, but I do remember the 80s and early 90s where we had kids toys for R rated material like Aliens, Predator, The Terminator, Robocop, and The Toxic Crusaders (Toxic Avenger was the film) so I have no place to talk.

We go back to the studio where we see that every network is covering the games. We go back to the show where our host says that only 8 remain and then talks about each of the survivors while looking at their bodies that are hooked up. He then tells the tech to wake them up in the VR world as he wants to play. He puts on his headset and goes there himself. They all of course wake up chained as the host starts talking. He tells them that the first person who escapes their chains will be awarded a special gun.


He says that they can use the gun to protect themselves or obliterate their enemies as the choice is theirs. He says go and disappears. There is a maze on a monitor behind them which has a maze so they have to navigate it with their hands to get to the end and free their chains. Albert is the first one to free himself and he starts taunting the others with the gun. He shoots Ren’s screen when Ren tells him he has no honor. Tucker finishes and he knocks Albert out to take the gun. Albert begs for his life as The Wasp wants Albert to shoot him, but Joy (who has also freed herself) says he won’t shoot and is the perfect guy for the gun since he will only use it to protect himself. Everyone except Ren is able to free themselves. Tucker gets Ren free by shooting the chain. They all finally enter the labyrinth where the Raptors enter as well.

Everyone gets separated except for the alliance of the Mason Brothers and The Wasp. There are a casualty. Ren ends up back in the main room and is surrounded by the Raptors. He uses his martial arts skills and chain against them, but the Raptors ultimately kill him because Raptors are pack animals and they do not all decide to fight you one on one.

Losing That Asian Audience (I’m Thinking How TV Execs Think)

It seems Stephanie is next to die, but she is saved by Tucker as he shoots a Raptor in the back. Everyone except dead Ren shows up and they see that a air duct is there which they use. After they escape the labyrinth, Albert attacks Tucker and gets back the gun. But since the gun will no longer shoot, Tucker beats him up. The host shows back up to congratulate them on getting out of the labyrinth, but mentions that there are only 7 left since Ren is dead. Since Stephanie was the first to escape, he gives her a map to show where a cache of game changing supplies are.


He also tells Stephanie that she can share it or keep it to herself. He disappears again and Albert wants the map, but Tucker stops him from getting it. The Mason Brothers then want it and Big Brother gets punched. Big Brother then starts choking her and she drops the map while Tucker stops him from killing her. Little Brother grabs it and they follow him while Tucker checks on Stephanie. They then also follow.

We then see videos of Stephanie Rogers murders, which were uploaded to YouTube by her. Yeah, Stephanie is the type of serial killer who murders people live on air. Laura watches this segment which she is hosting and is like “Give me a break”. Savannah tells her that she has to come with her because they have to do an interview fluff piece from another network. We then go to that interview and it is not a fluff piece interview as the interviewer actually asks her some questions about the morality. She basically says that these people were going to die anyway and this was supported by the government.

Sounds Like Something Secretary Of Homeland Security Kristi Noem Wants To Do In Making A Reality Show Competition With Immigrants Where The Prize Is They Become A Citizen Of The United States. The Only Thing Stopping What Is Going On Here From Being Reality Is Certain Technology Not Being Completely Available Yet.

We also find out during this interview that there is a radical protest group who wants this game to end called The Cavemen. Apparently, they have promised to disrupt the ending of this year’s games and head dipshit running this show had not heard about that. She then said groups have tried before, but security is tight so everything will go through just as planned. She then says the group is going to their next challenge and viewers will not want to miss that. After the interview is over, Savannah is mad and says that entering these games is basically an admission of guilt in her mind. She is also upset about these Cavemen and Laura tells her that people have the right to protest.

Ma’am….You’re So Obviously With The Cavemen That I’m Surprised You Literally Don’t Have A Sign On You That Says “I’m Going To Fuck This Shit Up.”

Savannah says she hates the show too because one of these people actually gets to go home free (which makes you wonder, why are you doing this show). Back in the VR dino world, we get more walking and we see Stephanie wondering why they picked dinosaurs and Tucker saying they tested better than robots. The Mason Brothers argue over the map and they do not see a plant try to eat The Wasp.


They stop the plant, but The Wasp is dying and the drug lord admits he wasn’t going to help the Mason Brothers in the end anyway. He then says their mom is going to follow him to hell which causes Big Brother to stomp his head in.

Yep….The Wasp Is Dead

Big Brother then tells the audience that he quits as he is done with this game. He even throws the map down, which Stephanie grabs. Little Brother has to snap him out of his anger by saying they are a team. Back to the studio as The Wasp is taken away and the host says the audience didn’t see that coming. He says the contestants are tired and hungry, but he thinks it is going to get a lot worse for the remaining six contestants. After the camera is off him, the host asks how close they are to the supplies and the tech says they are almost there. The tech then decides to put the pterodactyls near the supplies. They see the supplies, but there is an invisible wall stopping their progress.

This is when the host shows up and reveals that they are now at Stage 3. The host sees Joy and says she is the odds-on favorite to win, which Joy’s response is to tell the host that she is going to kill him. The host’s response to that threat is to say that he sincerely doubts it. He says that in the supply case is a knife and some more ammunition for the gun they have. The host says all they have to do is walk from where they are now to where the supplies are, but of course there is a angry triceratops blocking their way.


That Triceratops then gets blown up by a mine because as was mentioned earlier, this is a damn minefield that they have to traverse.


The host then explains that there are 17 or maybe 20 mines on the ground that they’ll have to hopefully avoid. He says Stephanie’s map will help them through and then leaves. Stephanie goes through and they all one by one follow Stephanie. But then Big Brother grabs Tucker and tells the people running it to stop the games as he is not going through. There is of course a timer and Tucker punches Big Brother and gets to the safe zone before time runs out. Big Brother is on the other side and Little Brother has to watch as Big Brother has his head blown off by the bomb collar.


Then as they go through the minefield, the pterodactyls attack. Little Brother is grabbed and dropped onto a mine, where he blows up.

No More Mason Brothers

Stephanie grabs both supplies and tells Joy to back off, while taunting her about being the odds-on favorite now. Savannah comes back and says she will not do another interview during the games as it was an ambush. The host then says that the ratings are up big time, which makes her a little happier. Savannah talks about the Cavemen and the host doesn’t seem to care. They are about to set up Stage 4, but the host says they need to let the contestants breathe a bit and then hopes that one of the girls gets naked.

They all relax and Tucker asks for the clip for the gun. Stephanie tells him to come and get it while flashing the knife. Tucker says he would go look for Joy, but he doesn’t want to leave her alone with the cannibal. Harold smiles and he says that Tucker is a smart man. Stephanie then tells Harold that if he moves one inch closer to her, she will cut him. He then goes looking for Joy. He then finds Joy as she is looking at some volcanos. Tucker tells Joy that she isn’t much older than his daughter. He then explains what happened on the night of his wife’s murder. He was asleep, but was woken up by a noise. He went to check it out and found the door to the house had been pried open. He then went to the kid’s rooms and found them okay. He then went back to his room and he found his wife with her throat slit. He says the murder weapon was a knife from the kitchen and the prosecutors said he pried the door open to make it look like a home invasion. Joy says she is going to take him to the final two and then she is going to kill him.

We hear a scream and we see Harold is taking a bite out of Stephanie’s neck.


Tucker runs up and punches the cannibal. They fight as Stephanie crawls away, Harold grabs a pointy stuck that Stephanie was making and stabs Tucker with it. He then grabs the clip that of course Stephanie had. Harold then starts shooting and chasing both Tucker and Stephanie. Tucker eventually gets the jump on Harold and hits him with a big branch. They then fight over a cliff for the gun that fell out of Harold’s hand, but the gun falls off a cliff. Harold then slides down the cliff and gets the gun as he goes to find Tucker, who decided he was not going to slide down the cliff. Harold searches for Tucker, but finds a whole lot of bugs who eat his ass.

Harold The Cannibal Experienced True Irony

Everyone in the bar watching it laughs and then we go to the host who tells the camera that one of the witnesses in the studio has something to tell them. Basically, Harold killed this woman’s husband and with his nasty death, she has some closure.


But once the camera is off, we found out it was all a ruse as the woman was just an actress. The host even says they need to find more actors like her for these games. Back at the VR world, Joy sees Stephanie and Tucker stumbling away and we see people are upset that Tucker is near death. Unfortunately for Joy, a sabretooth tiger just shows up.

Apparently Those Exist In This Dinosaur World Even Though Neither Creature Existed At The Same Time…….EVER.

She sidesteps the tiger as it was running at her and it falls off the cliff, which doesn’t kill it. But it does make sure that the tiger can’t kill her immediately. We see that Laura is doing something in the studio as the cameras get ready for Tucker’s final words, which is sad kids are seeing. But he basically yells that he is coming home. We then see Stephanie getting confronted by Joy who kicks her off a cliff and into the waiting jaws of the sabretooth tiger.


So now it is down to a healthy Joy and a severely injured Tucker. Back in the studio, Savannah tells the host that they need to comment on Tucker’s innocence and the host’s only response is he was sentenced to death. Savannah then says that it will be a ratings disaster if he dies in the games and the host doesn’t want to hear that. He goes on camera to talk about them being the final two and says of Tucker’s innocence, that he is not the judge, the audience is not the jury, but the games are the executioner. Basically the games decide who lives and who dies. The tech tells Savannah that there is an encrypted message coming from inside the studio meaning there might be a Caveman among them. The host just says to open the door way as the final challenge begins now. Both contestants go to the doors to the mysterious final challenge. It takes them to the desert.


They are about to fight each other, but the techs knock them out because they do no need them killing each other before the final challenge actually is explained. We then go to the studio as Savannah suspects Laura of being the traitor in the studio. Laura gives it away and says that she is going to kill the host on live TV. He then shoots one of the two guards protecting Savannah and the other one is revealed to be working with Laura.

Bet She Didn’t See That Coming

Savannah says the show will continue no matter what Laura does. Laura then kills Savannah.


Back at the VR World, the contestants have a chain around one of their legs and they are ready to fight, but the host shows up tells them to be patient as he explains the final challenge. The host taunts Tucker by showing his kid’s messages to them and says that if it wasn’t for the games, he would already be dead. A ring is made around them and basically the final challenge is to free themselves by unlocking the padlock to their chain and getting to the safe zone. First one to do so wins and the other one dies. And the keys are buried in the sand.


The host them tells them to begin and disappears again. Joy reveals that threw her name into the games because she didn’t care about her freedom, but because she wanted to meet the convicted killer that the whole world loves and kill him. She reveals that she was the one who killed her wife. The host in the studio loves the reveal and asks if he knew, he said that he hoped that she had done it. This revelation pisses off Tucker, who says he is going to kill Joy and the host in the studio wants a T-Rex so he yells for Savannah. A T-Rex shows up and during the chaos, Joy has found a key.


Joy is free, but the host plays dirty and he creates two more T-Rexes. The T-Rexes surround the freed Joy and the still trapped Tucker, which pisses off the host as he wants them to attack the contestants, but as the tech says….T-Rexes are very territorial and the reason they don’t have more than one at the same time is because they will fight each other over their food. The T-Rexes then attack each other


One T-Rex kills another and that T-Rex’s corpse lands on Joy’s chain so she is once again trapped. A third T-Rex knocks Tucker to the ground and Tucker finds his key lodged into his arm.

How Convenient And…..OWWWWWW

The two remaining T-Rexes fight each other as Tucker frees himself and Joy also frees herself. They both run to the safe zone with Tucker winning and Joy dying.


Everyone watching is happy that the innocent guy wins and then we go back to the studio where Laura and the guard working for her pull out their guns and tell the crew to pull Tucker out now. The host is shocked by this betrayal and begs Laura to rethink what she is doing. Tucker is freed and a scientist who is also working for Laura grabs the host and hooks him up. The host is now in his own VR world and is face to face with the T-Rex that survived.


The tech tries to call of the T-Rex and Laura shoots him. Laura goes on camera and tells everyone the Jurassic Games are over and they will now watch as this evil piece of shit known as the host dies. The host decides he wants to make his death good so he taunts the T-Rex.


The T-Rex does exactly that and kills the evil host.


The T-Rex then roars as Tucker is waken up in the real world. More people with guns show up and a gunfight ensues in which everyone dies around Tucker. Unfortunately, Tucker is also shot and lies down dying as we fade to black. We then fade out of black as Tucker is still alive and with his family.

Did You Really Believe This Movie Was Going To Kill Tucker?

The family eats dinner as it is revealed that the Jurassic Games are going to continue with a new host and crew. They then released a teaser that shows the dinosaurs have artillery on them.

And The Movie Ends.

There isn’t really much of an aftermath to talk about with this movie as this was Direct to DVD and everyone didn’t do anything bigger after this film. But I can tell you folks that there is apparently a sequel to this film being made called The Jurassic Games: Extinction with both Tucker (played once again by Adam Hampton) and Joy (played once again by Kate Burgess) returning, even though Joy died in this film.

Also no one has died since this film was made so let’s get to the final thoughts. It may come as no shock to anyone that this movie sucks. The effects are obviously CGI and at times, bad. The guy we are supposed to root for is boring as hell and everyone else seems to be going through the motions, with the best actor obviously being Ryan Merriman (who plays the host) as he is given the most to do, but even then….he is just a paint by numbers bastard. Some stuff is shot badly in the dark and it’s everything you would expect from a Direct To DVD movie except for the fun, something that Uncork’d films are well known for. And the worst part of all of that is this is probably the best film I’ve seen from them because their other films are way worse than this.

So let’s get to the next film and while we dealt with a film I did not like, we are actually going to deal with a film I did like. You see, once again Mecca did not give me an induction choice so I had to go back to TheDeadRises and I almost had him pick something else because the 4 other films he picked were not worthy of induction in my eyes. But I did change my mind on one of them since it is definitely hokey enough to be worthy of an induction which means he will instead have to pick 3 new induction choices in case Mecca still isn’t making any choices. The choice I eventually considered worthy is a film that like I said, I like…..but I do understand that there are people who do not like this film.

Get Your Ooze Ready