Monster
Crap Induction: The Jurassic Games
To
Quote George Carlin: “It’s All Bullshit, Folks And It’s Bad For You.”
2018
Most
times, mixing two films ideas together don’t work well at all and one of those
ideas that for some reason, I have seen several mixtures of such is The Hunger
Games. There is The Starving Games, The Hangover Games, and of course the film
that was chosen by TheDeadRises (the 2nd place winner of the Monster
Crap NFL Pick’em as the 1st place winner never bothered to give me
any movie for these summer inductions), The Jurassic Games. This also will be a
first for a distribution studio that as someone who watches more than 100
movies every year, I have seen and anytime I see them, I have learned to
freaking cringe because I know I am in for a really bad experience with a film.
It’s
Really Become A Bane Of My Existence In Doing A Year End Movie List
Basically,
this is a company that buys movies for very low prices (because they are also
low budgted films) and just puts them out in hopes they get something out of
it. Such films from them have been in my Year End worst lists like Forsaken,
Demon Tongue, The Snare, Alien: Reign Of Man, Gremlin (which the director of
The Jurassic Games before this), The Elf, Cold Moon, Cartel 2045, Killing Joan,
Defective, Cupid, Hellkat, and most notoriously for me, Lockdown (My Worst Film
Of The Year For 2022). I normally make jokes about running if you see a Trimark
logo or Universal Studios being my arch-nemesis, but those are in fun. I want
to be very serious and say if you see an Uncork’d logo…..burn it with fucking
fire.
Anyway,
this movie only tries to tease you with the mixture and doesn’t bother to put
some kind of actor’s name on the cover, which is for good reason because they
have no actors to put on the marquee. But there are Monster Crap alumni who are
in this film. One of them is Ryan Merriman who has twice been on Monster Crap
before.
He Was
Myles Barton AKA Deckard In Halloween: Resurrection (You Know, The Online
Boyfriend That Our Main Character Had Who Is In Middle School While She Is In
College).
And Was
Kevin Fischer In Final Destination 3 Who Said “Fuck You, Ben Franklin”.
Then we
have Perrey Reeves who was in Child’s Play 3.
Other
alum include Rett Terrell (who played some guy named Max in Vampire Sucks).
And
with that all out of the way, let’s get to this crappy movie.
We begin
with the Uncork’d logo.
Get
Used To Me Hating This Company
And
this movie starts off with a quote from someone you would never expect to be
quoted in a film like this.
Even
George Carlin Would Say “Guys, I Said That As Part Of A Gag. I Didn’t Really
Mean For You To Quote Me”.
We then
go to a high tech lab where they are doing high tech things. And people are in
VR.
We then
get two people watching a TV as they are hearing news that a startling verdict
in a controversial murder trial. Basically some guy named Anthony Tucker has
been found guilty of first degree murder.
And
They Are Upset So They May Know Anthony Tucker
We go
out of the courtroom where the lawyer says that his client maintains his
innocence. We then see Anthony Tucker meeting a hologram person who invites him
to compete in the Jurassic Games and if he wins, he gets his freedom. He
accepts.
We see
an Entertainment Tonight type news show that talks about the contestants being
announced and the two women not caring as they want to see the attractive host.
Then we see the host putting on his VR set.
Which
Is Freaking Ridiculous
And
finally we get the opening title card.
We find
our group of contestants waking up in a VR world with collars strapped to their
necks.
The
host then talks with the stupid mask on his head telling the contestants this
all must feel real to them even though it is a VR simulation. He tells them to
them, this is real because the danger and pain will be very real. He also says
the reward is also real and when he sees someone fidgeting with the collar, the
host says to be careful with that because that collar is kind of a bomb and if
he keeps fidgeting with it, he will go boom. He tells them that if they die
here, they die for real. They are all here for one reason and that is to win
their freedom, basically saying they are all on death row and they can avoid
the death they so rightfully deserve by winning and proving their worthiness.
Basically, they need to be the sole survivor and he knows that they may be
tempted to try and kill each other, but to please leave enough alive for the
main attraction, which is the dinosaurs here. He says a few miles from them is
a tree line which will be the first objective to get to because that is a
temporary safe zone. He also says their collars will alert them when they
arrive as red says they are too far away, yellow meaning they are close, and
green meaning they are there. He tells them they need to reach this safe zone
in one hour or they die. Their real bodies are also set up with lethal
injection tubes and if they die in the game, that lethal injection will kill
them for real. He then congrats them on no longer being death row inmates for
now and instead being contestants on what he calls the greatest game show ever,
The Jurassic Games.
A T-Rex
Then Shows Up So They All Have To Run
And one
of them gets eaten immediately.
We then
go to the unmasked host in the studio who reveals to the audience the time and
says they have to make that safe zone before it hits zero.
They
then take the dead guy away.
The
host then goes off camera and tells the head of the studio named Savannah that the
lineup they have is gorgeous and they will hit all the key demographics. She
agrees and says that it is the best cast yet. Meanwhile, we see parents letting
their kids watch this violent show while they are eating cookies made like
dinosaurs and contestants.
Oh This
Is False As Some Pearl Clutching Woman Would Refuse To Let Her Son Watch This
Stuff
We then
see two contestants fighting each other.
And The
Skinny White Guy Here Is Definitely A Cannibal
The
host goes back on camera and says the most of them will probably reach the safe
zone, but in the end, 9 will die and 1 will win. Oh and there are four stages,
which are by far the best ever….so says the host. Basically stage 1 is to find
the safe zone and avoid hungry dinosaurs. Stage 2 will be a maze where they
have to get to the end without being eaten by raptors. Stage 3 will be will be
a minefield where they will have to avoid mines and being pterodactyl chow. The
last stage will be a mystery. We then get a TV style intro with a narrator
basically telling us all the things we already know. We then finally get our
contestants.
Like
William Davis, The Guy Who Got Bit In The Neck By The Cannibal
Ren
Saizo
Victor
Gonzalez aka El Avispa, Which Means The Wasp
And we
would continue to know more about our contestants, but this film decides we
don’t need to know that and go back to the studio where we see the crew setting
stuff up. The host then reveals the dead guy was Dr. Eli Franklin, who was a
bomber.
Oh
Yeah, Definitely Hate This School Bomber.
The
host (who that’s his name in the credits) says Dr. Franklin wasn’t one of his
favorites anyway. We then see William meet a woman as he is cleaning his neck
wound. She asks if he knows where the safe zone is and he decides to strangle
her.
Tucker
then shows up to save her and take down William.
They
fight with William doing most of the beating and telling the woman “You’re
next, bitch”. Tucker does the old dirt to the eyes trick and hits him over the
head with a rock.
It Was
Not A Really Big Rock. Medium At Best.
He
leaves as William is down because we cant have our main character who was
obviously framed for murder kill someone at this time so the woman finishes the
job by bashing his head in with the rock.
She
then looks at him like “What?”. She then calls Tucker a pussy and Tucker says
that he isn’t here to kill anyone. The woman says she is here to kill
everybody, except Tucker since Tucker just saved her life so he gets to live a
little longer. She then tells him to lighten up and she says to come with her
as she thinks the safe zone is that way. And as they leave a little Compsognathus
starts snacking on William’s body.
We then
see there is a protest over these games.
This
studio of course has abilities to mute the outside so they can continue. We
then go to Tucker’s house as his kids are being prepped to be shown for an
interview about their dad.
Yeah,
The Two Kids From Earlier Who Were Upset About The Conviction Of Tucker Were
His Kids.
The
interviewer named Laura asks the daughter Baily about her father being in The
Jurassic Games and she says that it is basically his only chance to get out. The
son Andrew says he didn’t commit any cries and was framed for killing their
mom. Laura then asks them to leave a message for the father and Baily says for
dad to please survive. Andrew wants him to be gotten out of the games as they
know he is innocent so the interview is ended. We also see the protest was for
the interview crew as they are working for the studio.
In the
car, Laura is upset that the studio made her talk to her kids and the other guy
is like they think he is innocent. She says it doesn’t matter as even if they
find proof about his innocence, they’ll never hear about it. Savannah wonders
if the dinosaurs are close and a tech says they are close so it will build
tension. The head doesn’t care about tension as all she thinks the audience
wants are the kills. She also says to stay on Tucker as the audience are
sympathetic with him and they want to watch him die live.
We go
back to Tucker and the woman he saves as she wants to talk about his wife who
was tortured before she died. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but the woman
wants to know what she was thinking as she died. She says that some people can
turn the guilt and pain off at will like her. She says it is clear why the
world thinks you are innocent and she says if it makes him feel any better, she
also believes he didn’t kill his wife. She then decides at this exact moment to
attack him. She tries hanging him.
She
then kicks him in the balls and says she will see him in the next round. Of
course, he may not make the next round if he is freaking dead. Back in the
studio, the host laughs and is happy the woman who Tucker saved did what she
did. He then asks for some wind so Tucker can sway a little bit as he is dying.
Major
Douches Running This Show. I Bet They Both Voted For Trump (The Characters, Not
The Actual Actors Although If The Actual Actors Did, It Wouldn’t Surprise Me At
This Point.)
The
studio head says they roll the package on the woman and we find out she is Sarah
Lafort aka Joy.
They
reveal Joy here is the youngest Death Row inmate to join the Jurassic Games.
They then show an interview with Joy from Laura
It’s
Really Badly Shot In The Dark
Joy
tried to make a prison break during this interview so it ends with her back in
jail. In the studio, the host goes up to Tucker’s body (set up to the VR) and
taunts him about how he is still hanging in there. He also taunts him about
letting a little girl take him out this early because you always want the
sympathetic person to stay alive as long as possible. Tucker is then saved by
Ren.
Ren
tells him to get up and that they must work together for as long as they can
because there are things more terrible than them in this game. Basically as
individuals they don’t stand a chance, but together they can win this game and
escape together. He tells him they must get to the safe zone as they are being
hunted. He listen and says there are three dinosaurs after them so they must go
now.
In the
studio, Laura is watching Ren’s confessions to his crimes and his urge for
people to not be sheep. Savannah shows up and asks if she is going to play that
and Laura said no as she doesn’t want to start an uprising. Laura expresses
that she is upset that she had to interview Tucker’s children and Savannah says
it is for the audience so they could want Tucker to win more since it is has
been a long time since they had a contestant might be innocent. Laura says his
children definitely believe he is innocent and she is upset that they will see
him get ripped to shreds on live TV. Savannah tells Laura that no one is
forcing her to be here and there are a number of people who want her job. Laura
says that she knows and she wants to be here. Savannah leaves, but not before
warning Laura to never question an assignment ever again or she will be fired.
We then
see The Wasp get his leg caught in a gap between some rocks. He gets out, but
not before showing that he is bleeding. We then see a giant spider in the area.
The Wasp is running at. Two other guys show up and we see that they are the
Mason Brothers who are planning on killing the long haired guy, but first they
would like to know where the safe zone is.
Back in
the studio, the tech says the raptors have entered the canyon area which upsets
the host who wanted them there later. The Wasp proclaims who he is and that he
can get people who can help all three of them, but the Mason brothers don’t
give a shit. He then says he can save their mom and they can see her alive and
well if they help him. The two brothers don’t care for the threats and attack. Big
brother stops little brother from continuing the attack as he sees the raptors.
No,
Guys….Please Continue Your Fight And We’ll Take The Winner.
Little
brother wonders what the raptors are waiting for as we see back in the studio,
the host also senses something about to happen so he tells them the staff to
wait too. The host then tells the tech to have the raptors disappear. The crowd
at a bar is upset that no raptor lunch is had and Savannah shows up in the
studio mad because their ratings have dipped 4%. She is mad that the raptors
were stopped and the host explains that it is called foreplay. The host then
gets back on the camera and says to the audience that could there be an
alliance between the Mason Brothers and The Wasp, which would be a match made
in hell and he would hate what that could mean for the other contestants.
They
then go back to where the Mason Brothers and The Wasp are at with The Wasp once
again trying to get an alliance with the two by dangling the mother carrot at
them. When the little brother is against this, The Wasp then says their mom is
dying of cancer, which no one dies of anymore because of a treatment. He says
that if they help him, they will get to be able to save her from cancer. Big
brother then agrees that they’ll help him, much to the chagrin of his brother. Back
in the studio, the host reveals that none of them know that The Mason Brothers’
mother already passed away from cancer yesterday. He says they will see the
Raptors soon because Stage Two is up next.
After
they go a break, the host tells Savannah that they need to keep the Mason
Brothers alive as long as possible so they can get a Cain and Abel type
situation. The tech reveals that the contestants are reaching the safe zone.
Ren and Tucker arrive at the safe zone first. We then go to a blonde named
Stephanie who we only saw at the beginning of the Jurassic Games. She sees some
berries and picks a few.
She is
then met by the cannibal asshole from earlier who is named Albert.
Thankfully,
He Doesn’t Eat Her And Instead Just Steals Her Berries To Eat.
The
stage 2 door shows up and both of them enter. We see Joy also enter, but not
before killing an innocent dragonfly.
BOOOOO!!!!!!!
We then
go to the safe zone where Tucker, Joy, Ren, Albert, Stephanie, The Wasp, and
The Mason Brothers all make it. Tucker and Joy are about to attack each other,
but the studio presses a button and they are all knocked out so they can head
to Stage 2. We then get a fake commercial for The Jurassic Games toys with
Tucker and Albert toys fighting each other with the help of kids. And yes, all
ten contestants are toys and if you get all ten, you get a brand new version of
the host toy. I would say this is inappropriate for kids, but I do remember the
80s and early 90s where we had kids toys for R rated material like Aliens,
Predator, The Terminator, Robocop, and The Toxic Crusaders (Toxic Avenger was
the film) so I have no place to talk.
We go
back to the studio where we see that every network is covering the games. We go
back to the show where our host says that only 8 remain and then talks about
each of the survivors while looking at their bodies that are hooked up. He then
tells the tech to wake them up in the VR world as he wants to play. He puts on
his headset and goes there himself. They all of course wake up chained as the
host starts talking. He tells them that the first person who escapes their
chains will be awarded a special gun.
He says
that they can use the gun to protect themselves or obliterate their enemies as
the choice is theirs. He says go and disappears. There is a maze on a monitor
behind them which has a maze so they have to navigate it with their hands to
get to the end and free their chains. Albert is the first one to free himself
and he starts taunting the others with the gun. He shoots Ren’s screen when Ren
tells him he has no honor. Tucker finishes and he knocks Albert out to take the
gun. Albert begs for his life as The Wasp wants Albert to shoot him, but Joy
(who has also freed herself) says he won’t shoot and is the perfect guy for the
gun since he will only use it to protect himself. Everyone except Ren is able
to free themselves. Tucker gets Ren free by shooting the chain. They all
finally enter the labyrinth where the Raptors enter as well.
Everyone
gets separated except for the alliance of the Mason Brothers and The Wasp. There
are a casualty. Ren ends up back in the main room and is surrounded by the
Raptors. He uses his martial arts skills and chain against them, but the
Raptors ultimately kill him because Raptors are pack animals and they do not
all decide to fight you one on one.
Losing
That Asian Audience (I’m Thinking How TV Execs Think)
It
seems Stephanie is next to die, but she is saved by Tucker as he shoots a
Raptor in the back. Everyone except dead Ren shows up and they see that a air
duct is there which they use. After they escape the labyrinth, Albert attacks
Tucker and gets back the gun. But since the gun will no longer shoot, Tucker
beats him up. The host shows back up to congratulate them on getting out of the
labyrinth, but mentions that there are only 7 left since Ren is dead. Since
Stephanie was the first to escape, he gives her a map to show where a cache of
game changing supplies are.
He also
tells Stephanie that she can share it or keep it to herself. He disappears
again and Albert wants the map, but Tucker stops him from getting it. The Mason
Brothers then want it and Big Brother gets punched. Big Brother then starts
choking her and she drops the map while Tucker stops him from killing her. Little
Brother grabs it and they follow him while Tucker checks on Stephanie. They
then also follow.
We then
see videos of Stephanie Rogers murders, which were uploaded to YouTube by her. Yeah,
Stephanie is the type of serial killer who murders people live on air. Laura
watches this segment which she is hosting and is like “Give me a break”.
Savannah tells her that she has to come with her because they have to do an
interview fluff piece from another network. We then go to that interview and it
is not a fluff piece interview as the interviewer actually asks her some
questions about the morality. She basically says that these people were going
to die anyway and this was supported by the government.
Sounds
Like Something Secretary Of Homeland Security Kristi Noem Wants To Do In Making
A Reality Show Competition With Immigrants Where The Prize Is They Become A
Citizen Of The United States. The Only Thing Stopping What Is Going On Here
From Being Reality Is Certain Technology Not Being Completely Available Yet.
We also
find out during this interview that there is a radical protest group who wants
this game to end called The Cavemen. Apparently, they have promised to disrupt
the ending of this year’s games and head dipshit running this show had not
heard about that. She then said groups have tried before, but security is tight
so everything will go through just as planned. She then says the group is going
to their next challenge and viewers will not want to miss that. After the
interview is over, Savannah is mad and says that entering these games is
basically an admission of guilt in her mind. She is also upset about these
Cavemen and Laura tells her that people have the right to protest.
Ma’am….You’re
So Obviously With The Cavemen That I’m Surprised You Literally Don’t Have A
Sign On You That Says “I’m Going To Fuck This Shit Up.”
Savannah
says she hates the show too because one of these people actually gets to go
home free (which makes you wonder, why are you doing this show). Back in the VR
dino world, we get more walking and we see Stephanie wondering why they picked
dinosaurs and Tucker saying they tested better than robots. The Mason Brothers
argue over the map and they do not see a plant try to eat The Wasp.
They
stop the plant, but The Wasp is dying and the drug lord admits he wasn’t going
to help the Mason Brothers in the end anyway. He then says their mom is going
to follow him to hell which causes Big Brother to stomp his head in.
Yep….The
Wasp Is Dead
Big
Brother then tells the audience that he quits as he is done with this game. He
even throws the map down, which Stephanie grabs. Little Brother has to snap him
out of his anger by saying they are a team. Back to the studio as The Wasp is
taken away and the host says the audience didn’t see that coming. He says the
contestants are tired and hungry, but he thinks it is going to get a lot worse
for the remaining six contestants. After the camera is off him, the host asks
how close they are to the supplies and the tech says they are almost there. The
tech then decides to put the pterodactyls near the supplies. They see the
supplies, but there is an invisible wall stopping their progress.
This is
when the host shows up and reveals that they are now at Stage 3. The host sees
Joy and says she is the odds-on favorite to win, which Joy’s response is to
tell the host that she is going to kill him. The host’s response to that threat
is to say that he sincerely doubts it. He says that in the supply case is a
knife and some more ammunition for the gun they have. The host says all they
have to do is walk from where they are now to where the supplies are, but of
course there is a angry triceratops blocking their way.
That
Triceratops then gets blown up by a mine because as was mentioned earlier, this
is a damn minefield that they have to traverse.
The
host then explains that there are 17 or maybe 20 mines on the ground that
they’ll have to hopefully avoid. He says Stephanie’s map will help them through
and then leaves. Stephanie goes through and they all one by one follow
Stephanie. But then Big Brother grabs Tucker and tells the people running it to
stop the games as he is not going through. There is of course a timer and
Tucker punches Big Brother and gets to the safe zone before time runs out. Big
Brother is on the other side and Little Brother has to watch as Big Brother has
his head blown off by the bomb collar.
Then as
they go through the minefield, the pterodactyls attack. Little Brother is
grabbed and dropped onto a mine, where he blows up.
No More
Mason Brothers
Stephanie
grabs both supplies and tells Joy to back off, while taunting her about being
the odds-on favorite now. Savannah comes back and says she will not do another
interview during the games as it was an ambush. The host then says that the
ratings are up big time, which makes her a little happier. Savannah talks about
the Cavemen and the host doesn’t seem to care. They are about to set up Stage
4, but the host says they need to let the contestants breathe a bit and then
hopes that one of the girls gets naked.
They
all relax and Tucker asks for the clip for the gun. Stephanie tells him to come
and get it while flashing the knife. Tucker says he would go look for Joy, but
he doesn’t want to leave her alone with the cannibal. Harold smiles and he says
that Tucker is a smart man. Stephanie then tells Harold that if he moves one
inch closer to her, she will cut him. He then goes looking for Joy. He then finds
Joy as she is looking at some volcanos. Tucker tells Joy that she isn’t much
older than his daughter. He then explains what happened on the night of his
wife’s murder. He was asleep, but was woken up by a noise. He went to check it
out and found the door to the house had been pried open. He then went to the
kid’s rooms and found them okay. He then went back to his room and he found his
wife with her throat slit. He says the murder weapon was a knife from the
kitchen and the prosecutors said he pried the door open to make it look like a
home invasion. Joy says she is going to take him to the final two and then she
is going to kill him.
We hear
a scream and we see Harold is taking a bite out of Stephanie’s neck.
Tucker
runs up and punches the cannibal. They fight as Stephanie crawls away, Harold
grabs a pointy stuck that Stephanie was making and stabs Tucker with it. He
then grabs the clip that of course Stephanie had. Harold then starts shooting
and chasing both Tucker and Stephanie. Tucker eventually gets the jump on
Harold and hits him with a big branch. They then fight over a cliff for the gun
that fell out of Harold’s hand, but the gun falls off a cliff. Harold then
slides down the cliff and gets the gun as he goes to find Tucker, who decided
he was not going to slide down the cliff. Harold searches for Tucker, but finds
a whole lot of bugs who eat his ass.
Harold
The Cannibal Experienced True Irony
Everyone
in the bar watching it laughs and then we go to the host who tells the camera
that one of the witnesses in the studio has something to tell them. Basically,
Harold killed this woman’s husband and with his nasty death, she has some
closure.
But
once the camera is off, we found out it was all a ruse as the woman was just an
actress. The host even says they need to find more actors like her for these
games. Back at the VR world, Joy sees Stephanie and Tucker stumbling away and
we see people are upset that Tucker is near death. Unfortunately for Joy, a
sabretooth tiger just shows up.
Apparently
Those Exist In This Dinosaur World Even Though Neither Creature Existed At The
Same Time…….EVER.
She
sidesteps the tiger as it was running at her and it falls off the cliff, which
doesn’t kill it. But it does make sure that the tiger can’t kill her
immediately. We see that Laura is doing something in the studio as the cameras
get ready for Tucker’s final words, which is sad kids are seeing. But he
basically yells that he is coming home. We then see Stephanie getting
confronted by Joy who kicks her off a cliff and into the waiting jaws of the
sabretooth tiger.
So now
it is down to a healthy Joy and a severely injured Tucker. Back in the studio,
Savannah tells the host that they need to comment on Tucker’s innocence and the
host’s only response is he was sentenced to death. Savannah then says that it
will be a ratings disaster if he dies in the games and the host doesn’t want to
hear that. He goes on camera to talk about them being the final two and says of
Tucker’s innocence, that he is not the judge, the audience is not the jury, but
the games are the executioner. Basically the games decide who lives and who
dies. The tech tells Savannah that there is an encrypted message coming from
inside the studio meaning there might be a Caveman among them. The host just
says to open the door way as the final challenge begins now. Both contestants
go to the doors to the mysterious final challenge. It takes them to the desert.
They
are about to fight each other, but the techs knock them out because they do no
need them killing each other before the final challenge actually is explained. We
then go to the studio as Savannah suspects Laura of being the traitor in the
studio. Laura gives it away and says that she is going to kill the host on live
TV. He then shoots one of the two guards protecting Savannah and the other one
is revealed to be working with Laura.
Bet She
Didn’t See That Coming
Savannah
says the show will continue no matter what Laura does. Laura then kills
Savannah.
Back at
the VR World, the contestants have a chain around one of their legs and they
are ready to fight, but the host shows up tells them to be patient as he
explains the final challenge. The host taunts Tucker by showing his kid’s
messages to them and says that if it wasn’t for the games, he would already be
dead. A ring is made around them and basically the final challenge is to free
themselves by unlocking the padlock to their chain and getting to the safe
zone. First one to do so wins and the other one dies. And the keys are buried
in the sand.
The
host them tells them to begin and disappears again. Joy reveals that threw her
name into the games because she didn’t care about her freedom, but because she
wanted to meet the convicted killer that the whole world loves and kill him.
She reveals that she was the one who killed her wife. The host in the studio
loves the reveal and asks if he knew, he said that he hoped that she had done
it. This revelation pisses off Tucker, who says he is going to kill Joy and the
host in the studio wants a T-Rex so he yells for Savannah. A T-Rex shows up and
during the chaos, Joy has found a key.
Joy is
free, but the host plays dirty and he creates two more T-Rexes. The T-Rexes
surround the freed Joy and the still trapped Tucker, which pisses off the host
as he wants them to attack the contestants, but as the tech says….T-Rexes are
very territorial and the reason they don’t have more than one at the same time
is because they will fight each other over their food. The T-Rexes then attack
each other
One
T-Rex kills another and that T-Rex’s corpse lands on Joy’s chain so she is once
again trapped. A third T-Rex knocks Tucker to the ground and Tucker finds his
key lodged into his arm.
How
Convenient And…..OWWWWWW
The two
remaining T-Rexes fight each other as Tucker frees himself and Joy also frees
herself. They both run to the safe zone with Tucker winning and Joy dying.
Everyone
watching is happy that the innocent guy wins and then we go back to the studio
where Laura and the guard working for her pull out their guns and tell the crew
to pull Tucker out now. The host is shocked by this betrayal and begs Laura to
rethink what she is doing. Tucker is freed and a scientist who is also working
for Laura grabs the host and hooks him up. The host is now in his own VR world
and is face to face with the T-Rex that survived.
The
tech tries to call of the T-Rex and Laura shoots him. Laura goes on camera and
tells everyone the Jurassic Games are over and they will now watch as this evil
piece of shit known as the host dies. The host decides he wants to make his
death good so he taunts the T-Rex.
The
T-Rex does exactly that and kills the evil host.
The
T-Rex then roars as Tucker is waken up in the real world. More people with guns
show up and a gunfight ensues in which everyone dies around Tucker. Unfortunately,
Tucker is also shot and lies down dying as we fade to black. We then fade out
of black as Tucker is still alive and with his family.
Did You
Really Believe This Movie Was Going To Kill Tucker?
The
family eats dinner as it is revealed that the Jurassic Games are going to
continue with a new host and crew. They then released a teaser that shows the
dinosaurs have artillery on them.
And The
Movie Ends.
There
isn’t really much of an aftermath to talk about with this movie as this was
Direct to DVD and everyone didn’t do anything bigger after this film. But I can
tell you folks that there is apparently a sequel to this film being made called
The Jurassic Games: Extinction with both Tucker (played once again by Adam
Hampton) and Joy (played once again by Kate Burgess) returning, even though Joy
died in this film.
Also no
one has died since this film was made so let’s get to the final thoughts. It
may come as no shock to anyone that this movie sucks. The effects are obviously
CGI and at times, bad. The guy we are supposed to root for is boring as hell
and everyone else seems to be going through the motions, with the best actor
obviously being Ryan Merriman (who plays the host) as he is given the most to
do, but even then….he is just a paint by numbers bastard. Some stuff is shot
badly in the dark and it’s everything you would expect from a Direct To DVD
movie except for the fun, something that Uncork’d films are well known for. And
the worst part of all of that is this is probably the best film I’ve seen from
them because their other films are way worse than this.
So
let’s get to the next film and while we dealt with a film I did not like, we
are actually going to deal with a film I did like. You see, once again Mecca
did not give me an induction choice so I had to go back to TheDeadRises and I
almost had him pick something else because the 4 other films he picked were not
worthy of induction in my eyes. But I did change my mind on one of them since
it is definitely hokey enough to be worthy of an induction which means he will
instead have to pick 3 new induction choices in case Mecca still isn’t making
any choices. The choice I eventually considered worthy is a film that like I
said, I like…..but I do understand that there are people who do not like this
film.
Get
Your Ooze Ready
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