Bright
Netflix Went All In On This Idea Of Buddy Cop Where Humans And Mythological Creatures Exist With TV Commercials, Social Media Ads, Endorsements, And Even The Music Videos. Unfortunately, They Forgot The Whole Idea Of Making The Movie Good By Hammering In Its Racism Is Bad Message And Not Willing To Go Further At Times With Its Idea That May Have Been Needed. Oh And Extra Disdain For Not Crediting Several People Who Were Responsible For The Make-Up Effects.
Death Note
It's Another Netflix Film (Don't Worry, That's It As Far As Netflix Films). But This Time It Is A Film That Was Adapted From A Hit Japanese Manga And Anime That Was Made More For American Audience. Unfortunately, It Had Bad Characters, A Really Bad High School Setting, A Very Bad Lead Who Was So Not Right For The Part Of Light Turner In Nat Wolff (Just Remember His Scream And You'll Laugh), And An Ending That Feels So Much Unlike The Character We Are Dealing With.
Flatliners
So Some Idiot Decided That We Needed A Flatliners Remake And Surprisingly Got Ellen Paige And Keifer Sutherland (He Was Also In The Original) Into This Film. I Say Surprisingly As They Completely Made A Mess Of A Film That Probably Only Reviewers Saw As This Film Bombed. It Is Mostly Just A Cut And Paste Remake Except They Decided To Add A Bigger Supernatural Element To This For Some Freaking Reason. Ultimately, You Will Fall Asleep Easily If You Have The Least Bit Of Tiredness.
Friend Request
Much Like Last Year With The Terrible Unfriended Movie With The Skype Ghost , This Movie Decides We Need To Have A Facebook Ghost. Soon We'll See A Twitter Ghost. Look, I Understand Making New Technology Scary And All Of That, But You've Got To Do Something New With The Idea Because Right Now, This New Technology Ghost Genre Is Just Being Crap Right Now With Unlikable Characters, Stupid Jump Scares, Bad Effects, And Just Unreal Situations. The Brits Were Sadly Lucky To Have This Mess Released Last Year While We Had To Wait Till This Year For This To Plague An Already Bad Cinematic Year.
Jurassic School
I Know We All Like To Make Fun Of The Asylum, But Unfortunately Their Worst Stuff Is Truly The Stuff You Have Never Really Heard Of. This Is A Kids Film And You'll Know More About My Hatred Of This Film When I Talk About My Worst Films Of The Year List. The CGI And Acting Is God Awful, But You Could Say That Is Usual For Low Budget Kids Movies And Asylum Films, But There Is More Than That To This Film, But All I Say Is A Kid Invents A Robotic Dinosaur Toy That Can Move And Also Make Donuts (That Come Out Of His Ass).
MindGamers
I Completely Tried To Forget This Film And Was Truly Almost Good At That, But Then I Rewatched The Trailer So I Could Remember If This Movie Counted As A Nominee. Oh Boy, With All The Machines And An Angel For No Reason, All Of That Crap Came Back To Me. This Movie Wants To Be Something, Except I Don't Know What As It Makes No Sense. Is It A Religious Film, Is It A Sci-Fi Film, I Don't Know. Somehow They Got Sam Neil In This Film, But Much Like Andron: The Black Labyrinth Last Year...They Do Nothing With The Big Name They Got. This Just Makes No Sense In The End And If This Wins, I Would Have A Hard Time Explaining It In The Induction.
Monster Trucks
This Film Sat On The Shelf For A Few Years And While Not All Films Are Delayed For Several Years Because They Suck, This Is One Of Those That Truly Did Suck. The Cast Is Bad, The CGI Is Bad, And The Plot Is Atrocious. This A Film That Really Said "Hey, There Are Monsters In The Trucks So They Are True Monster Trucks" And Unfortunately That Was It. In The End, You Just Would Rather Have Armageddon Come Just To End Our Misery From These People.
Phoenix Forgotten
The Only Thing This Is Based Off Of Is The Phoenix Lights Incident Which Has Been Widely Told So The Marketing Is False. This Is A Fake Documentary/Found Footage Cluster That Really Does Not Show Any Real Shocks. It Is A Complete Borefest That Tries So Hard To Be Like The Blair Witch Project, But Ultimately Is Just Interviews, Emotions, And Fake Found Footage. Heck, I Even Saw A Film A Few Days Ago Called Aliens: Zone Of Silence That While It Also Sucked, Did More With This Same Idea Of A Sister Looking For Her Missing Brother And Friend(s) By "Aliens?" Than This Did.
Rock Dog
I may have said when I reviewed this film that it wasn't bad as I thought it would be, I need to still mention that this is bad. This movie has some poor animation and the idea of sheep dogs protecting sheep from wolves was done so much better on Looney Tunes in absurdly less time than this movie. Also someone who wants to be a musician when his family hates music was done better in other films and heck, would even be done better later in the year by a film called Coco. So many cliches and puns like a yak character being named Fleetwood Yak (I'll accept all boos for that terrible name that this film wanted to make a funny with).
Surf's Up 2: WaveMania
Hey, Remember The First Film That Actually Got Nominated For An Oscar (Even Though I'll Admit It Probably Didn't Deserve It)? Well, Forget Almost Everything About That Film Because This Completely Retcons Our Main Character's Reason For Surfing As The Big Kahuna Is Replaced By WWE Wrestlers Being The Fearsome Five Of Awesome Nomad Surfers (4 Penguins And 1 Otter Who Has A Weird Obsession With Fish Milk (WTF???)) That Are Just Their WWE Characters And Nothing Else.
The Bye Bye Man
Okay, You Can Stop Laughing At The Title So I Can At Least Explain Why This Is Bad Because Trust Me, The Title Isn't The Only Reason This Movie Is Bad. This Movie Is Just A Hodge Podge Of Better Films With Bad Actors With A Very Odd Cameo By Faye Dunaway. Basically, This Movie Says That If You Hear The Name Bye Bye Man, You Will Eventually Die Because For Some Reason, You Cant Stop Thinking About It.....Even If You Just Decide To Say "Bye Bye, Man". And You Also Might Know That The Bye Bye Man Is Played By Doug Jones (Who Was In Rocky & Bullwinkle & Jack Frost 2). But Thankfully, He Was In The Shape Of The Water Also This Year Which...Man, Ignore That. Bye Bye Man Sucks.
The Dark Tower
It Is A Movie Based On Stephen King's Longest Running Book Series And Man, This Really Feels Like This Should Have Been A TV Series Or Mini-Series Instead Of A Movie As This Is Just A Hodgepodge Of Scenes And For Stephen King Fans, This Will Feel Like A Real Betrayal Of The Source Material Even With Good Actors Like Mathew McConaughey And Idris Elba And This Is A Year We Actually Got Plenty Of Good Stephen King Adaptations This Year So It Can't Be The Excuse Of We Cant Make Good Films Based On Stephen King Books.
The Emoji Movie
Remember How Great The Lego Movie Is Despite Its Main Goal Being To Sell Just More Toys Because It Made A Great Story That Incorporates The Lego World. Well, This Is What You Would Expect Lego Movie As Being Just A Shell To Just Sell Us On Apps (Like Just Just Dance) And Get Us Addicted To Our Phones. There Is Sadly No Great Story Here With Characters Like The Poop Emoji Who Is Just There And Tired Puns Are Aplenty Like "The Emoji Pop". And Sadly, The Voice Acting Is Atrocious As Well.
The Mummy
Universal Wanted To Create Its Dark Universe With All Its Universal Monsters From The 30s To 50s And They Have Tried This Several Times With Bad Effect, This Was Of Course Their Most Ambitious Attempt Yet With Announcements Of Which Big Actors Will Be The Future Universal Monsters And Even Had New Logo That Says This Is The Dark Universe. Unfortunately, They Put All The Effort On Future Films And None On The Current Film So What You Have Is A Terrible Film With A 50-Something Acting Like A Young Man And The Mummy Being Actually Attractive With Terrible CGI, Terrible Dialogue, A Failure To Understand Geography, And A Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Character That You Would Rather Have The Film Be About Him.
The Snare
I Had To Take A Shower After Watching This Film As I Completely Felt Unclean After Watching This Rather Uninteresting Film. People Go To An Apartment With No Freaking Stairs For Some Reason And Of Course With That Flaw, A Supernatural Force Causes The Elevators To No Longer Work And The Cell Phones Have No Signal So They Are Trapped In The Third Floor Of A High Rise Building. And Then There Is That Rape Scene That Comes Out Of Fucking Nowhere, But I Will Not Explain Anymore Of That.
Wish Upon
With This Being From The Same Director As Annabelle And Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, You Could Probably Predict I Am Going To Hate This Film. But Let's Go Further Into This Crap. They Have Made The Main Character So Unlikable From The Mere Beginning That Her Second Encounter With The Bully Was Her Fault. Then After She Gets The Wish Box, She Gets Even Worse To A Point Where She Still Knows People She Likes Will Die If She Makes A Wish And Still Makes Several Wishes. You Get To The Point To Where You Want To See Her Die And When You Do, There Is No Real Redemption Or Anything So You End With A Completely Bad Taste In Your Mouth.
Poll Ends at January 13 at 12 AM
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