It was with great delight to congratulate the 2025 DC Defenders on beating the Michigan Panthers in the UFL Title Game on Saturday 58-34.
The 2025 season had been an insane season from the beginning as even before the team played a single game, their head coach resigned and decided to take the head coaching position at Tennessee State with Shannon Harris being named the interim head coach, which he was for the whole season. Then, we had 3 time defending champions Birmingham Stallions' head coach Skip Holtz (whose dad is a shithead Trump supporter) calling our new coach basically a doorman, an insult he would regret as we would face them in week 1 and defeat them 18-11. We started out 3-0 (in week 2, our defensive coordinator stepped down and his son replaced him), but then lost to a team with no wins at the time in the San Antonio Brahmas at our home. We then got the win the next week against the Renegades (who beat us to win the 2023 XFL Title) in a game where Arlington shot themselves in the foot at the end, but the next week we lost to the freaking Michigan Panthers in a game where they basically manhandled us. Then we got our revenge against the Brahmas by beating them in their house and beating the Renegades once again because once again, they shot themselves in the foot. That Renegades win would clinch the playoffs for us and because of scheduling issues, we knew even then that we were going to have to play the St. Louis Battlehawks in St. Louis no matter what happened, which meant we could sit our starters for the last two games (those last two games we would lose by the way).
Then we had to go into enemy territory against our much hated rivals the St. Louis Battlehawks for the XFL Conference Title Game. It was also the only place that played with a crowd that actually has the best attendance in the league so it was definitely not going to be easy. We had beaten them there in Week 3, but we had lost to them the week before in our home (both teams played their backups) so it could have been anyone's game. QB Jordan Ta'amu (who was a St. Louis Battlehawk in the 2020 season that was never finished because of COVID) would beat down his old team and we would win easily 36-18. We then would be paired in the finals with the same Michigan Panthers who beat us up earlier (who made sure the Birmingham Stallions dont get a four-peat by putting a belt to their asses) and we got plenty of disrespect before that game as we were a heavy underdog and Jordan Ta'amu (who had the best season of his career) lost both Offensive Player Of The Year and MVP to Michigan Panthers QB Bryce Perkins, although we did end up getting Coach Of The Year for our interim coach Shannon Harris and Assistant Coach Of The Year for our Offensive Coordinator Fred Kaiss.
Then the game happened and Michigan seemed to be in control for their first two drives while we only got a TD (with no extra point) and a field goal in our first two possessions to make it 13-9. Then things took a turn as they had to punt and we would score a TD (but fail on the attempt) to gain the lead 15-13. Then we recovered a fumble on the kickoff return where we would get another touchdown and convert the two point conversion to make it 23-13. The Panthers had to punt again and once again, we got the TD and a two point conversion via a Philly Special to QB Ta'amu himself to make it 31-13. Unfortunately, we sadly let a touchdown go pretty quickly and the Panthers closed the gap 31-19, but we responded with a TD of our own to make it 37-19 going into halftime. We got the ball in the second half and much like the first half, we scored although it was just a field goal, making it 40-19. Then we intercepted their pass and a few plays later, we would score another TD to make it 46-19. The Panthers would punt again and we would score another TD to make it 52-19. The Panthers would wake up and get a TD to make it 52-25, then convert an onside conversion where they would score a TD again to make it 52-31, then convert another onside conversion where they would only get a field goal to make it 52-34. But then they tried an onside conversion for a third time and failed, with our response being a touchdown to make it 58-34. The game was basically over and it was made definitely over when their drive ended in a turnover on downs. We got revenge for the beatdown and slights by voters by breaking all sorts of records via our beatdown and Jordan Ta'amu (the man disrespected by the voters) would win the UFL Title Game MVP.
With all the celebration done here and a parade I'm sure that will follow (that will probably do better than Trump's stupid military parade which was on the same day as the UFL Title Game), I have already bought my DC Defenders 2025 UFL Champions shirt and this month, the induction of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret Of The Ooze will be coming this month. I hope that will be the next post here, but anything could happen so you never know.
