Wednesday, January 30, 2019
RIP Dick Miller
1929 - 2019
Dick Miller sadly passed away today at the age of 90. While truly a long life, it always is sad to hear a cult icon pass away. While he was in many and many cult films and is well known for roles like The Terminator, Gremlins, The 'Burbs, Fame, Piranha, The Howling, Rock N' Roll High School, Night Of The Creeps, among many other classics. He will always be known at Monster Crap for his role in Chopping Mall.
He Was That Unlucky Janitor That Got Electrocuted By The Killbots.
He will definitely be missed.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Monster Crap February 2019 Induction Poll
Honestly, I sadly did not get the rental of Happytime Murders until Friday and considering this is the last Saturday of January, you probably can guess that I won't be able to get this GINO Award winning induction until February 2nd. So due to also needing to figure out what the next induction is, here is the poll of ten movies to decide what do I induct next. No Vampuary this time and instead we are going back to my regular induction polls.
You're enjoying all of this. *Sigh* Here are the choices.
Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)
Quit Your Belly Aching And Get To The Films.
You're enjoying all of this. *Sigh* Here are the choices.
Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)
Night of The Living Dead Gets An Unneeded Remake (Because There Was Already A Good Remake Filmed)
Pumpkinhead: Ashes To Ashes (2006)
This Film Should Have Been Burned Before Release
The Grudge 2 (2006)
What Began With One....Will End With Crap
Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
Proof That Just Because You Were Able To Cast The Brother Of The Actor Who Played The Last Bad Guy Doesn't Mean He Is Gonna Work Just As Well
Meridian: Kiss of the Beast (1990)
Someone Decided It Was Okay To Be In Love With Your Monster Rapist.
Boy Eats Girl (2005)
When Voodoo Zombies And Biting Zombies Are One In The Same....Stupid Hijinks Ensue
Cursed (2005)
Cursed Like The Production Team Do To A Crap Ton Of Meddling By The Weinstein Brothers, Thank God They Are Bankrupt And Gone From Hollywood.
Darkness Falls (2003)
The Film Debut Of Bad Director Jonathan Liebesman....Only Good Thing I Can Say Is I Like The Song That Is Played Over And Over Again
Boy Eats Girl (2005)
When Voodoo Zombies And Biting Zombies Are One In The Same....Stupid Hijinks Ensue
Cursed (2005)
Cursed Like The Production Team Do To A Crap Ton Of Meddling By The Weinstein Brothers, Thank God They Are Bankrupt And Gone From Hollywood.
Darkness Falls (2003)
The Film Debut Of Bad Director Jonathan Liebesman....Only Good Thing I Can Say Is I Like The Song That Is Played Over And Over Again
Dracula 2000 (2000)
A Younger Leonidas As Dracula........Oh Dear God
The Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)
What Would Happen If We Remade The Original Howling Film But Made It Boring, Said Someone Sadly
Poll closes February 2nd at 12 AM
The Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)
What Would Happen If We Remade The Original Howling Film But Made It Boring, Said Someone Sadly
Poll closes February 2nd at 12 AM
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
My 25 Worst Movies of 2018
Yeah, this year had more terrible than it did good so mentioning the worst of the worst was not easy as I had to deal with which shit was shittier than the other and that also requires me to remember terrible films I tried like hell to avoid. Oh and the cursing, expect a lot of that because yeah....this year kind of deserves that. Now here are the films I didn't see because I wasn't going to theaters to see bad films, films I didn't have enough time to see (I can't see everything), or I had no desire to see it.
* Acrimony
* A.X.L
* Billionaire Boy's Club
* Breaking In
* Fifty Shades Freed
* Gotti
* Hunter Killer
* Life Itself
* Kings
* London Fields
* Mary Shelley
* Mile 22
* Mortal Engines
* Night School
* Nobody's Fool
* Overboard
* Proud Mary
* Red Sparrow
* Robin Hood
* Sherlock Gnomes
* Submergence
* Super Troopers 2
* The 15:17 To Paris
* The Girl In The Spider's Web
* The Nutcracker & The Four Realms
* The Week Of
And now for the "crappy" films that I have seen, but they did not make my worst of the year list or even my dishonorable mentions
* Action Point
* A Wrinkle In Time
* Death Wish
* Future World
* Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
* Kin
* Mute
* Peppermint
* Show Dogs
* Terminal
* The Cloverfield Paradox
* The Happytime Murders (Yep, the GINO Award Winner was not one of my worst)
* The Hurricane Heist
* The Nun
* Venom
* Winchester
Now here are the dishonorable mentions.
Game Over, Man
Hacked
Living Among Us
Santa Jaws
The Titan
And now for the 25 films that I hated from this year.
25. Day of the Dead: Bloodline
Yeah, they tried remaking Day of the Dead again (because the 2008 remake show how much of a good idea that was with a vegan zombie), but instead of a vegan zombie, let's one up that with a rapist zombie. Some of the stuff is good (which is why it is so low), but yeah....it is mostly a very tedious film that gives us a zombie looking at a girl and licking his lips (not in a hungry way). If you try remaking this film again after these two failures, you better get ready to choke on those negative reviews.
24. Frenzy
Let me just say that this year's SyFy Sharknado week was terrible. This film was so freaking predictable and the only reason was for the awesomely hilarious death of a shark by falling giant boulder. You could pretty much tell early on that the sister who showed up was a mere halucination by our lone surviving girl considering she feel way behind when the plane crash and she somehow was able to come back to the sister from the other direction. But even for a hallucination, the sister does some stuff that a hallucination in no way can do. This was just a film that freaking irritated me to no end, but this is still not the worst Sharknado week shark film as there is one that is worse.
23. The Darkest Minds
Can we just stop with this whole attempt to be the next Hunger Games because unless you have a really good idea, you are just going to be pathetic. The Darkest Minds is no exception to the crap that we get. Basically something causes kids to either die or have superpowers and of course with the adults, they are scared and do horrible things. We have another movie where the villain of the film tries to rape our female lead (don't ask me why that's a thing). It has a script that makes every actor who is reading these lines to come off looking like they suck. This film of course sequel baits us big time (which considering that this film flopped, won't be happening).
22. The Secret: Suster Ngesut Urban Legend
For some reason this year, Netflix was giving us really bad horror films from Indonesia. This film with insane long ass and hard to say title, is one of those ghost stories that me and my friend were either laughing at the stupidity of a scene or being bored by a scene (no middle ground on that). Can someone explain to me this Suster Ngesut legend because I have found no such luck in my research. Oh and the huge twist that happens....it sucks and was laughable.
21. The 3rd Eye
Okay, this is the last of the Indonesian horror films that Netflix has. Yeah, this film suffers from being boring. From having a situation where a family can see dead people to the twist on who was behind the ghosts' being so pissed, you couldn't get me to care for any of it. The only stupid thing that I did mention is the ghosts get locked in the closet when they were alive and from what I saw, it is one of those closet doors could easily be kicked down.
20. Extinction
This movie stars Michael Pena and for some goddamn reason, decided that we can't have him be funny in any way (which what is the point of getting Michael Pena for). In this film, a futuristic society gets invaded by a force that was not on Earth. I have to specifically say that because of the bullshit twist this film gives us in that the people on Earth are androids and the invaders were humans who earlier were forced to space colonies by the androids. That happens because the humans had treated the androids badly and basically, the androids were like Twisted Sister and were not going to take it anymore. I would like to add that this film also has Lizzy Caplan (Cloverfield & Hot Tub Time Machine) & Mike Poulter (Luke Cage)....and no one was made interesting.
19. Curvature
It's been a while since I have seen Linda Hamilton in anything. Sadly, it is in this science fiction turd where our protagonist (who isn't Linda Hamilton) travels back in time to try and stop herself from committing murder on a guy who may have been responsible for her husband's death. Basically, it is a time travel film that is extremely boring and the revelation of the killer (it was her husband's business partner) is so easily predictable . The whole time travel stuff is so clunky and everyone looked like they were just here to collect a paycheck.
18. Dark Crimes
Jim Carrey tries again for a serious role and sadly, he does so in a film that is complete garbage. Yes, there is an interesting story in here somewhere, but it is suffocated by all the padding where nothing happens. This is also based on a true story and Jim does try with this film, but ultimately this film would rather be so dark that it becomes just a chore to sit through. It's too bad how far Jim Carrey has fallen (although some of it is his own doing), but when you get bad roles like these...you don't get my sympathies.
17. Nightmare Shark
This is the worst of Sharknado Week. Who in the blue hell decided to rip off Freddy Krueger, but have a shark instead of Freddy Krueger. That's seriously what this film is. They even rip off the bath scene with the claw, but instead a shark fin. This is of course directed by the same director as Arachnoquake (along with his brother) and the only reason I am going to bring that up is as I started criticizing that film, he decided to reply to me with a "Fuck You" (don't bother looking it up, he deleted it after I responded with shrug and a "thanks for noticing" tweet). This movie is so insultingly dumb and just basically craps on itself with the "Oh, it was just a dream" ending.
16. Higher Power
This is actually a movie that was well....not terrible in its first two acts. But that third act....yikes. Basically, this guy (a former drunk) has a chip implanted into his head that causes him to hear voices from this other guy who tells him to do thinks like kill people and blow buildings up or his estranged daughters die. Like I said, it kind of works for the first two acts although the CGI is bad and the acting kind of isnt good. But what destroys this film is the big twist and after all of that, this film completely goes off the rail to the point where our planet is saved by our main character turning into a star child and shielding us from something (some stream of light) that would have killed us. Yes, some guy is made into a god and guardian of our planet.
15. Dead House
This film was made and released into several horror conventions in 2014, but they finally released it into this country in 2018. You can already guess that is bad news. This is a film that teases us with being a zombie movie and the zombies really only appear with 10 minutes left of a 75 minute film. The rest of the movie acts like Funny Games of a home invasion torture of a family with the tease of the zombies from the cover. Basically, you are watching it like "when are the zombies going to show" because it is some pretty terrible acting for a home invasion. Don't watch this movie and if you do, don't say I didnt warn you.
14. The Open House
For months, I have heard how bad this film is and in December, my best friend as a gag decided my 2018 worst of list wasn't complete until we saw this film. Well, I did and this home invasion movie is one of the worst. Basically, everyone except one guy (he dies of course) is completely unlikable (including our two main characters) so you have no care if they live of die. Oh and the most laughable part is in the beginning when the dad is killed because he is sandwiched in between a wall and a car, driven by of all ironies, a man who is already dead from a heart attack. The killer is also just some guy so there really isn't a murder mystery despite the film trying to tell you that it is.
13. Killing Joan
Well, if it isn't our own pals from Uncork'd Entertainment who released this terrible movie. Terrible CGI, some bad acting, and poor editing that completely skips out scenes so they can only be mentioned by someone as happening that we never see make up this disaster of a movie. Oh and there are people who also disappear with no explanation like Donna (played by Katarina Leigh aka former WWE female wrestler Katie Lea Burchill). Oh and our lead looks and acts like a poor man's Carrie Ann Moss.
12. The Package
Remember how much I hated Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates? Well, from the same director of that shit comes a film where a dumbass cuts his dick off and due to a snafu with giving the wrong cooler, they have to race to the hospital to get the severed member to their friend before it rots. I really have nothing to say as this tries to be The Hangover with teens, but doesn't come close to the humor of that first film. Bad acting, two guys and two girls that the film basically forces to become couples by the end, plenty of disgusting humor, and bullshit ways to continue this film make this a godawful experience, although one of the girls thankfully was also in Blockers so maybe she will still have a career after this.
11. Immortal Wars
This film has Eric Roberts and Tom Sizemore as its two biggest names and they are both wasted in a film that tries to be X-Men mixed with the Hunger Games. First of all, everyone in this film (including Eric Roberts and Tom Sizemore) are terrible in this film, the effects are some of the most laughable, you dont even know half of the characters names or powers, and in one of the worst moves this year, the film just.....ends. There is no final battle or anything, it just ends. Unfortunately, this film and a sequel were shot back to back so this film is getting a sequel no matter how terrible this is (and I guess we will try to continue from there). Oh and by the way, the comic this is based off is from the director of this film who probably thinks we should appreciate his work in movie form. Just like Heavenly Sword video game & movie, this comic and movie was planned to be a big success, but this will probably be completely forgotten about except for being on this list.
10. The Manor
Can I say that this DVD cover is a lie? Kevin Nash is only in half the movie and he has no bearing on the plot other than to be a side character (although the most likable character). It's basically a family reunion with a daughter who finally was released from a mental institution so they rent part of this manor (it also has other tenants who have rented other parts as well) and suddenly, some "demon" comes and starts killing people around the girl who was in the mental institution. This is a boring film with them basically cutting to somewhere else every time a kill is about to happen. And then the big twist comes and like many of these films, it is terrible.
9. Romina
Where to begin with this Mexican revenge/slasher film. Almost every one of our so called people we follow in this film is unlikable to the very core. We almost have scenes completely out of order. Yes, this film is about friends going on a trip, they find an attractive girl, two of them decide to rape her, and then this attractive girl two guys out of the group raped decides to go on a killing spree of everyone in that area. Oh and the twist makes no fucking sense if you think two minutes about it. Every fucking time somebody gets killed, their death gets edited to fucking shreds so we can only see what leads up to it and the aftermath. It's not very smart for a film to have all these issues
8. Slender Man
Dear god....the Slender Man meme was way dead when some studio decided "Hey...let's make a horror movie out of it." But instead of telling a tale of Slender Man making people kill others for his amusement, they decided to make a movie where we basically make out own rules for Slender Man and try to exploit a freaking creepypasta to make some money. Well, let's just say what we suffered through was an extremely boring film that had to be cut for a PG-13 rating. Oh and whose bright idea was it to get the lead from the godawful Wish Upon and the psychopath from When The Bough Breaks and make them so dull and lifeless. Actually, everyone in this damn film is just as lifeless as the Slender Man is. You might as well play one of the Slender Man video games as you will get more enjoyment and fear from that than this film.
7. The Lullaby
If you have heard of situations of women dealing with depression after giving birth (in the news, it normally ends in the worst ways), you know how terrible this situation can get. Unfortunately, when you don't have good acting or good pacing, you don't get any fear or tension. You can thank the director of Dracula 3000 for this boring mess that even makes Dracula 3000 enjoyable. Basically, we have a mother who just gave birth (revealed to be the product of a rape) who is being haunted by some kind of spirit from a lullaby (thus the title). Nobody in this film comes out looking good and once again, we get some very piss poor CGI for the ghost.
6. The Lotus
Other than zombies, terrible camerawork, and some guy caused all of it, I originally forgot all about this movie. However, upon looking back....I remember why I hated this movie so much. This movie was terribly edited with a scenes completely out of order, has some dreadful acting, and completely has the involvement of aliens....just because. This is a complete mess that really makes me wonder why in the blue hell it was called The Lotus. Oh and this was made in 2015 and shown only 3 times (in the same city) before it gets dumped onto DVD in 2018. Gee...I wonder what could have stopped them from wanting to mass market this film.
5. Dominion The Last Star Warrior
This is perhaps the cheapest made movie on this list. All of that great promise of a great star battle with Earth being a target for aliens......isnt there. Instead, we get aliens merely in human skin (because we couldn't afford alien effects) and all of this taking place in the desert. I would say this is much like Battle For Skyark (and I did in my GINO Award nomination in this film), but even Battle For Skyark seems to have a bigger budget. Again, this is another movie that was made in 2015, but released this year. The first name on the marquee about is Booboo Stewart (who had a small part in Twilight: New Moon as one of the werewolves) and he is only in the movie for 5 minutes. Lisa Marie (Vampira from Ed Wood) is also in this movie, but I really dont remember who she played.
4. Truth Or Dare
The worst movie in theaters this year...in my opinion. This movie has some decent actors on it, but this movie has a terrible script and those actors are given some very unlikable characters. The Truth or Dare game is so blah that they have to make a special rule for this Truth of Dare game halfway through the movie. Basically, there is also a demon involved and you will notice this demon from the godawful CGI face filters this film puts on people's faces. And then there is the ending. Basically, it is one of the ending where the main characters to delay their own deaths by fucking most of the world to have to play this fucking game. So congrats to our main characters, you are responsible for millions or billions of people who are going to die or are doomed to suffer. Unfortunately, this movie made money over its budget so there sadly may be a sequel to this shit.
3. Seven In Heaven
Notice that I didn't say this was the worst Blumhouse movie for the year. That dubious honor has to go to this bullshit that was so bad that they had to only dump this on the internet. Basically, a bunch of teens at a party are playing a game of seven in heaven where through very rigged ways, this geek who the bully hates gets put in for seven minutes in the closet with the bully's girlfriend (the fucking bully is the one who rigged it too). Then these two do nothing and are whisked away to an alternate dimension where characters are different and some people who are dead are still alive and vice versa. The only recognizable person who is somehow a person who is all knowing in all dimensions is the actor who played the boss from Office Space. Oh and one more thing, Blumhouse was so in love with Truth or Dare that the game is in this movie too.
2. A Demon Within
A movie that has all the goddamn check marks for horrible movie in my mind. Kid gets pointlessly killed, bad CGI, really bad acting. terrible pacing, terrible script, and the movie that has the ending, but keeps going. I saw this movie and this was the worst movie of the year for the longest time (in fact, I only found a worse movie in the last month) and my friend wanted to see this movie to see how bad it was...........and he fell asleep before finishing it. This says it is based on some true events from the 1870s, but I highly find that claim dubious at best. I have nothing more to say about the Exorcist clone and I recommend you don't see this.
1. 2036: Unknown Origin
When I put this movie on my Instant Queue, I was not looking for any more of the worst movies of the year. Personally, I had my list complete, but I saw Katee Sackoff in a science fiction film and I said to myself "Why not?" I really wish I had not watched this film at all. So to save you time from watching a horrible goddamn 90 minutes that will feel like 3 hours, I'm basically going to tell you what happens in the shortest way possible. Katee Sackoff argues with a computer during a mission to Mars and inadvertently causes Earth to blow up so she now has to find a new world for us with the help of that same computer she was arguing with. If you try to think any more about this movie with other characters and other shit, you will be lost, so I'm also saving you from your head exploding with questions.
Now that I have finished my two lists, I can now move onto inductions with the first being the one you all voted for.
Jim Henson Help Us....
* Acrimony
* A.X.L
* Billionaire Boy's Club
* Breaking In
* Fifty Shades Freed
* Gotti
* Hunter Killer
* Life Itself
* Kings
* London Fields
* Mary Shelley
* Mile 22
* Mortal Engines
* Night School
* Nobody's Fool
* Overboard
* Proud Mary
* Red Sparrow
* Robin Hood
* Sherlock Gnomes
* Submergence
* Super Troopers 2
* The 15:17 To Paris
* The Girl In The Spider's Web
* The Nutcracker & The Four Realms
* The Week Of
And now for the "crappy" films that I have seen, but they did not make my worst of the year list or even my dishonorable mentions
* Action Point
* A Wrinkle In Time
* Death Wish
* Future World
* Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
* Kin
* Mute
* Peppermint
* Show Dogs
* Terminal
* The Cloverfield Paradox
* The Happytime Murders (Yep, the GINO Award Winner was not one of my worst)
* The Hurricane Heist
* The Nun
* Venom
* Winchester
Now here are the dishonorable mentions.
Game Over, Man
Hacked
Living Among Us
Santa Jaws
The Titan
And now for the 25 films that I hated from this year.
25. Day of the Dead: Bloodline
Yeah, they tried remaking Day of the Dead again (because the 2008 remake show how much of a good idea that was with a vegan zombie), but instead of a vegan zombie, let's one up that with a rapist zombie. Some of the stuff is good (which is why it is so low), but yeah....it is mostly a very tedious film that gives us a zombie looking at a girl and licking his lips (not in a hungry way). If you try remaking this film again after these two failures, you better get ready to choke on those negative reviews.
24. Frenzy
Let me just say that this year's SyFy Sharknado week was terrible. This film was so freaking predictable and the only reason was for the awesomely hilarious death of a shark by falling giant boulder. You could pretty much tell early on that the sister who showed up was a mere halucination by our lone surviving girl considering she feel way behind when the plane crash and she somehow was able to come back to the sister from the other direction. But even for a hallucination, the sister does some stuff that a hallucination in no way can do. This was just a film that freaking irritated me to no end, but this is still not the worst Sharknado week shark film as there is one that is worse.
23. The Darkest Minds
Can we just stop with this whole attempt to be the next Hunger Games because unless you have a really good idea, you are just going to be pathetic. The Darkest Minds is no exception to the crap that we get. Basically something causes kids to either die or have superpowers and of course with the adults, they are scared and do horrible things. We have another movie where the villain of the film tries to rape our female lead (don't ask me why that's a thing). It has a script that makes every actor who is reading these lines to come off looking like they suck. This film of course sequel baits us big time (which considering that this film flopped, won't be happening).
22. The Secret: Suster Ngesut Urban Legend
For some reason this year, Netflix was giving us really bad horror films from Indonesia. This film with insane long ass and hard to say title, is one of those ghost stories that me and my friend were either laughing at the stupidity of a scene or being bored by a scene (no middle ground on that). Can someone explain to me this Suster Ngesut legend because I have found no such luck in my research. Oh and the huge twist that happens....it sucks and was laughable.
21. The 3rd Eye
Okay, this is the last of the Indonesian horror films that Netflix has. Yeah, this film suffers from being boring. From having a situation where a family can see dead people to the twist on who was behind the ghosts' being so pissed, you couldn't get me to care for any of it. The only stupid thing that I did mention is the ghosts get locked in the closet when they were alive and from what I saw, it is one of those closet doors could easily be kicked down.
20. Extinction
This movie stars Michael Pena and for some goddamn reason, decided that we can't have him be funny in any way (which what is the point of getting Michael Pena for). In this film, a futuristic society gets invaded by a force that was not on Earth. I have to specifically say that because of the bullshit twist this film gives us in that the people on Earth are androids and the invaders were humans who earlier were forced to space colonies by the androids. That happens because the humans had treated the androids badly and basically, the androids were like Twisted Sister and were not going to take it anymore. I would like to add that this film also has Lizzy Caplan (Cloverfield & Hot Tub Time Machine) & Mike Poulter (Luke Cage)....and no one was made interesting.
19. Curvature
It's been a while since I have seen Linda Hamilton in anything. Sadly, it is in this science fiction turd where our protagonist (who isn't Linda Hamilton) travels back in time to try and stop herself from committing murder on a guy who may have been responsible for her husband's death. Basically, it is a time travel film that is extremely boring and the revelation of the killer (it was her husband's business partner) is so easily predictable . The whole time travel stuff is so clunky and everyone looked like they were just here to collect a paycheck.
18. Dark Crimes
Jim Carrey tries again for a serious role and sadly, he does so in a film that is complete garbage. Yes, there is an interesting story in here somewhere, but it is suffocated by all the padding where nothing happens. This is also based on a true story and Jim does try with this film, but ultimately this film would rather be so dark that it becomes just a chore to sit through. It's too bad how far Jim Carrey has fallen (although some of it is his own doing), but when you get bad roles like these...you don't get my sympathies.
17. Nightmare Shark
This is the worst of Sharknado Week. Who in the blue hell decided to rip off Freddy Krueger, but have a shark instead of Freddy Krueger. That's seriously what this film is. They even rip off the bath scene with the claw, but instead a shark fin. This is of course directed by the same director as Arachnoquake (along with his brother) and the only reason I am going to bring that up is as I started criticizing that film, he decided to reply to me with a "Fuck You" (don't bother looking it up, he deleted it after I responded with shrug and a "thanks for noticing" tweet). This movie is so insultingly dumb and just basically craps on itself with the "Oh, it was just a dream" ending.
16. Higher Power
This is actually a movie that was well....not terrible in its first two acts. But that third act....yikes. Basically, this guy (a former drunk) has a chip implanted into his head that causes him to hear voices from this other guy who tells him to do thinks like kill people and blow buildings up or his estranged daughters die. Like I said, it kind of works for the first two acts although the CGI is bad and the acting kind of isnt good. But what destroys this film is the big twist and after all of that, this film completely goes off the rail to the point where our planet is saved by our main character turning into a star child and shielding us from something (some stream of light) that would have killed us. Yes, some guy is made into a god and guardian of our planet.
15. Dead House
This film was made and released into several horror conventions in 2014, but they finally released it into this country in 2018. You can already guess that is bad news. This is a film that teases us with being a zombie movie and the zombies really only appear with 10 minutes left of a 75 minute film. The rest of the movie acts like Funny Games of a home invasion torture of a family with the tease of the zombies from the cover. Basically, you are watching it like "when are the zombies going to show" because it is some pretty terrible acting for a home invasion. Don't watch this movie and if you do, don't say I didnt warn you.
14. The Open House
For months, I have heard how bad this film is and in December, my best friend as a gag decided my 2018 worst of list wasn't complete until we saw this film. Well, I did and this home invasion movie is one of the worst. Basically, everyone except one guy (he dies of course) is completely unlikable (including our two main characters) so you have no care if they live of die. Oh and the most laughable part is in the beginning when the dad is killed because he is sandwiched in between a wall and a car, driven by of all ironies, a man who is already dead from a heart attack. The killer is also just some guy so there really isn't a murder mystery despite the film trying to tell you that it is.
13. Killing Joan
Well, if it isn't our own pals from Uncork'd Entertainment who released this terrible movie. Terrible CGI, some bad acting, and poor editing that completely skips out scenes so they can only be mentioned by someone as happening that we never see make up this disaster of a movie. Oh and there are people who also disappear with no explanation like Donna (played by Katarina Leigh aka former WWE female wrestler Katie Lea Burchill). Oh and our lead looks and acts like a poor man's Carrie Ann Moss.
12. The Package
Remember how much I hated Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates? Well, from the same director of that shit comes a film where a dumbass cuts his dick off and due to a snafu with giving the wrong cooler, they have to race to the hospital to get the severed member to their friend before it rots. I really have nothing to say as this tries to be The Hangover with teens, but doesn't come close to the humor of that first film. Bad acting, two guys and two girls that the film basically forces to become couples by the end, plenty of disgusting humor, and bullshit ways to continue this film make this a godawful experience, although one of the girls thankfully was also in Blockers so maybe she will still have a career after this.
11. Immortal Wars
This film has Eric Roberts and Tom Sizemore as its two biggest names and they are both wasted in a film that tries to be X-Men mixed with the Hunger Games. First of all, everyone in this film (including Eric Roberts and Tom Sizemore) are terrible in this film, the effects are some of the most laughable, you dont even know half of the characters names or powers, and in one of the worst moves this year, the film just.....ends. There is no final battle or anything, it just ends. Unfortunately, this film and a sequel were shot back to back so this film is getting a sequel no matter how terrible this is (and I guess we will try to continue from there). Oh and by the way, the comic this is based off is from the director of this film who probably thinks we should appreciate his work in movie form. Just like Heavenly Sword video game & movie, this comic and movie was planned to be a big success, but this will probably be completely forgotten about except for being on this list.
10. The Manor
Can I say that this DVD cover is a lie? Kevin Nash is only in half the movie and he has no bearing on the plot other than to be a side character (although the most likable character). It's basically a family reunion with a daughter who finally was released from a mental institution so they rent part of this manor (it also has other tenants who have rented other parts as well) and suddenly, some "demon" comes and starts killing people around the girl who was in the mental institution. This is a boring film with them basically cutting to somewhere else every time a kill is about to happen. And then the big twist comes and like many of these films, it is terrible.
9. Romina
Where to begin with this Mexican revenge/slasher film. Almost every one of our so called people we follow in this film is unlikable to the very core. We almost have scenes completely out of order. Yes, this film is about friends going on a trip, they find an attractive girl, two of them decide to rape her, and then this attractive girl two guys out of the group raped decides to go on a killing spree of everyone in that area. Oh and the twist makes no fucking sense if you think two minutes about it. Every fucking time somebody gets killed, their death gets edited to fucking shreds so we can only see what leads up to it and the aftermath. It's not very smart for a film to have all these issues
8. Slender Man
Dear god....the Slender Man meme was way dead when some studio decided "Hey...let's make a horror movie out of it." But instead of telling a tale of Slender Man making people kill others for his amusement, they decided to make a movie where we basically make out own rules for Slender Man and try to exploit a freaking creepypasta to make some money. Well, let's just say what we suffered through was an extremely boring film that had to be cut for a PG-13 rating. Oh and whose bright idea was it to get the lead from the godawful Wish Upon and the psychopath from When The Bough Breaks and make them so dull and lifeless. Actually, everyone in this damn film is just as lifeless as the Slender Man is. You might as well play one of the Slender Man video games as you will get more enjoyment and fear from that than this film.
7. The Lullaby
If you have heard of situations of women dealing with depression after giving birth (in the news, it normally ends in the worst ways), you know how terrible this situation can get. Unfortunately, when you don't have good acting or good pacing, you don't get any fear or tension. You can thank the director of Dracula 3000 for this boring mess that even makes Dracula 3000 enjoyable. Basically, we have a mother who just gave birth (revealed to be the product of a rape) who is being haunted by some kind of spirit from a lullaby (thus the title). Nobody in this film comes out looking good and once again, we get some very piss poor CGI for the ghost.
6. The Lotus
Other than zombies, terrible camerawork, and some guy caused all of it, I originally forgot all about this movie. However, upon looking back....I remember why I hated this movie so much. This movie was terribly edited with a scenes completely out of order, has some dreadful acting, and completely has the involvement of aliens....just because. This is a complete mess that really makes me wonder why in the blue hell it was called The Lotus. Oh and this was made in 2015 and shown only 3 times (in the same city) before it gets dumped onto DVD in 2018. Gee...I wonder what could have stopped them from wanting to mass market this film.
5. Dominion The Last Star Warrior
This is perhaps the cheapest made movie on this list. All of that great promise of a great star battle with Earth being a target for aliens......isnt there. Instead, we get aliens merely in human skin (because we couldn't afford alien effects) and all of this taking place in the desert. I would say this is much like Battle For Skyark (and I did in my GINO Award nomination in this film), but even Battle For Skyark seems to have a bigger budget. Again, this is another movie that was made in 2015, but released this year. The first name on the marquee about is Booboo Stewart (who had a small part in Twilight: New Moon as one of the werewolves) and he is only in the movie for 5 minutes. Lisa Marie (Vampira from Ed Wood) is also in this movie, but I really dont remember who she played.
4. Truth Or Dare
The worst movie in theaters this year...in my opinion. This movie has some decent actors on it, but this movie has a terrible script and those actors are given some very unlikable characters. The Truth or Dare game is so blah that they have to make a special rule for this Truth of Dare game halfway through the movie. Basically, there is also a demon involved and you will notice this demon from the godawful CGI face filters this film puts on people's faces. And then there is the ending. Basically, it is one of the ending where the main characters to delay their own deaths by fucking most of the world to have to play this fucking game. So congrats to our main characters, you are responsible for millions or billions of people who are going to die or are doomed to suffer. Unfortunately, this movie made money over its budget so there sadly may be a sequel to this shit.
3. Seven In Heaven
Notice that I didn't say this was the worst Blumhouse movie for the year. That dubious honor has to go to this bullshit that was so bad that they had to only dump this on the internet. Basically, a bunch of teens at a party are playing a game of seven in heaven where through very rigged ways, this geek who the bully hates gets put in for seven minutes in the closet with the bully's girlfriend (the fucking bully is the one who rigged it too). Then these two do nothing and are whisked away to an alternate dimension where characters are different and some people who are dead are still alive and vice versa. The only recognizable person who is somehow a person who is all knowing in all dimensions is the actor who played the boss from Office Space. Oh and one more thing, Blumhouse was so in love with Truth or Dare that the game is in this movie too.
2. A Demon Within
A movie that has all the goddamn check marks for horrible movie in my mind. Kid gets pointlessly killed, bad CGI, really bad acting. terrible pacing, terrible script, and the movie that has the ending, but keeps going. I saw this movie and this was the worst movie of the year for the longest time (in fact, I only found a worse movie in the last month) and my friend wanted to see this movie to see how bad it was...........and he fell asleep before finishing it. This says it is based on some true events from the 1870s, but I highly find that claim dubious at best. I have nothing more to say about the Exorcist clone and I recommend you don't see this.
1. 2036: Unknown Origin
When I put this movie on my Instant Queue, I was not looking for any more of the worst movies of the year. Personally, I had my list complete, but I saw Katee Sackoff in a science fiction film and I said to myself "Why not?" I really wish I had not watched this film at all. So to save you time from watching a horrible goddamn 90 minutes that will feel like 3 hours, I'm basically going to tell you what happens in the shortest way possible. Katee Sackoff argues with a computer during a mission to Mars and inadvertently causes Earth to blow up so she now has to find a new world for us with the help of that same computer she was arguing with. If you try to think any more about this movie with other characters and other shit, you will be lost, so I'm also saving you from your head exploding with questions.
Now that I have finished my two lists, I can now move onto inductions with the first being the one you all voted for.
Jim Henson Help Us....
Saturday, January 12, 2019
My Top 25 Favorite Movies Of 2018
2018 was a strange year for good movies. While this movie had more bad movies than good (I'll get to it more in my 25 Worst list), many of the good or so-called good movies were only in a matter of perspective as movies that were favorites to many were not favorites of mine while favorites of many were not favorites of mine. So first, here are the movies that I have not seen, either via not wanting to or just didnt get around to it. I saw 180 movies this year, sorry....I didn't get around to seeing these.
* Anna & The Apocalypse
* A Private War
* A Simple Favor
* Bad Times At The El Royale
* Blindspotting
* Bohemian Rhapsody
* Borg vs. McEnroe
* Boy Erased
* Call Me By Your Name
* Cam
* Can You Ever Forgive Me
* Chappaquiddick
* Dumplin'
* First Man
* Green Book
* If Beale Street Could Talk
* Instant Family
* I, Tonya
* Lean On Pete
* Let The Corpses Tan
* Love, Simon
* Mama Mia: Here We Go Again
* Mary Poppins Returns
* Mid 90s
* Mohawk
* Molly's Game
* Roma
* Smallfoot
* The Death Of Stalin
* The Old Man & The Gun
* The Other Side Of The Wind
* To All The Boys I've Loved Before
* Phantom Thread
* The Favourite
* The Hate U Give
* The Post
* The Sisters Brothers
* The Wife
* Unsane
* Vice
* Widows
Now for the supposedly great to good movies that I have seen, but will not make the list or honorable mentions. I'm sure I'll get some anger over the fact that I didn't like these or like these enough so sorry (not sorry).
* 22 July
* Alpha
* American Animals
* Annihilation
* Ant-Man & The Wasp
* Beirut
* Crazy Rich Asians
* Early Man
* Eighth Grade
* Game Night
* Halloween
* I Kill Giants
* Incredibles 2
* Isle of Dogs
* Leave No Trace
* Mary & The Witch's Flower
* Mission Impossible: Fallout
* Mom & Dad
* Overlord
* Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
* Ready Player One
* Teen Titans Go! To The Movies
* The Ballad Of Buster Skruggs
* The Endless
* Thoroughbreds
* You Were Never Really Here
And now we begin with our 5 honorable mentions of movies that just barely missed out on being in the Top 25 (in alphabetical order).
Rampage
Revenge
Searching
Tau
The Night Comes For Us
And now that we are finished with that, here is the Top 25 for me. If you disagree, just remember that this is my list and this is based on personal preferences.
25. Creed II
I'm a bit indifferent on Rocky IV. I won't lie. I also really enjoyed Creed so despite my hangups on continuing the Rocky IV stuff, I was looking forward to it. Then the reviews were not as favorable as the first Creed and that gave me a bit of trepidation. Thankfully, I saw it and I know those concerns were only minor. I really love that they continued the story of Ivan Drago and what happened after he lost to Rocky Balboa to show that his mother Russia basically left him. All the fights were important fights to see, even the fight where Adonis Creed gets his ass kicked by Victor Drago. Everything even the ending made all the sense in the world if you know these characters from previous films. Even the stuff with Creed and his fiancee and new baby were great. The only problem I could see with some people is you really would need to have seen Rocky IV to get the full knowledge of what is going on.
24. A Quiet Place
Horror was really good this year for me if this great movie is this low. Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were great as a married couple with kids, which makes sense as they are husband and wife in real life. The kids were great too and you really felt for these kids (especially their hearing impaired daughter). Just like Jordan Peele last year (who is releasing another film in 2019 which I am interested in called Us), John Krasinski also shows that he can direct a film with such tension that several of these so-called masters of horror like Eli Roth, Joe Lynch, and Adam Green can take freaking notes on. Also the use of sounds and silence to create an unsettling feel that makes you silently say "Oh shit" when any noise is made as remember these creatures are drawn to any sound so even a pin dropping is bad. The only problem with this film is the CGI isn't the best although that is okay since the aliens are rarely shown and covered in a lot of darkness.
23. Flavors of Youth
I know that Anime America did not like this film as they found it rather pretentious. I would normally not mention negative reviews, but their case on the dub is good as it is bad. I was lucky enough to see it subtitled and while that will not fix the total issues the film has, the voice actors do fit the characters unlike when Netflix brought in one of those teens from 12 Reasons Why to voice a character in the third story where he does not match the character at all. Oh yeah, this is an anthology anime film so it is three stories talking about relationships between two people (man & grandmother, two sisters, and man and girl who happens to be a friend) and they really hit me in the feels.
22. Blockers
An extremely funny movie that deals with three parents (each with different situations) having three kids who are friends and those kids all decide that at prom, they will all lose their virginity. Of course, this gets read on accident by the parents and they all decide for their own reasons to try and stop the kids from doing so. John Cena has surprisingly shown that he definitely has some acting chops if given a good script (remember that for later). All of this works really well with a great resolution. The only problem for me was plenty of the jokes are cringe inducing.
21. Bumblebee
Finally, we have a good Transformers movie. Now to any worry that you need to see the other ones to see this, don't worry....this is a prequel so you don't have to know anything that happened in those other films. In fact, those are the best prequels where you don't need the other films for context to this happening. Instead of a lead that gets a bad director to ruin them, we get a great lead with a great directing in Hailee Steinfeld as the lead and great directing from Travis Knight, who also directed Kubo & The Two Strings (a great film). Once again, John Cena is great as a serious actor (which shows you that he doesnt need to be in comedies to work (looking at you, Channing Tatum)) if you give him a great script. No stupid sex jokes for Michael Bay's enjoyment. And the biggest thing about this film, you can tell the Transformers apart which was a huge problem with the Transformers in the Michael Bay films.
20. Ralph Breaks The Internet
Honestly, I felt the first Wreck It Ralph movie was merely okay. However, I really enjoyed the sequel as both Ralph and Vanellope do get equal time to shine with the whole point being about their friendship and how important they are in each other's lives. This is The Emoji Movie done with care for the internet and not a shell film to sell you products (heck, most of the main focus is on games or products that are just made up). Also, I found plenty of the jokes about the internet to be extremely funny including jokes about pop-ups and viral videos. Ultimately, it is a funny look at the internet and proof that while Disney did make some stinkers this year, they made plenty of good movies as well.
19. Deadpool 2
Before anyone asks, no...I did not see Once Upon A Deadpool during its limited run. But instead, I saw Deadpool 2 in its original run. While I did not like Deadpool 2 as much as the first Deadpool movie, the jokes landed greatly and all the characters were very useful in their parts. Those extra characters were killed quickly and disposed of (like the random cameo of a famous actor). Josh Brolin does a fantastic as Cable (although I still kind would have rather seen Stephen Lang in the role) and Domino is good as well. Also returning characters Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus were also good and the former's relationship partner was the source of some rather simple jokes that could not be offensive in any way (seriously, its just "hi" gags used several times for just strange reasons). But the best jokes were saved for the end (I mean mid-credit stuff) as Deadpool fixes various wrongs perpetrated.
18. BlacKKKlansman
This movie was definitely funny and needed considering the times we live in. Topher Grace is really made hatable as that racist asshole David Duke. John David Washington and Adam Driver are great as the two detectives who both play a part in the fake white supremacist who infiltrated the Klu Klux Klan to expose some criminal dealings they were involved in. While there is plenty of this movie that is drastically changed from the actual real life story as you would expect with Spike Lee films, although thankfully he is back to being a good director this time instead of that time he wanted to remake Oldboy. Now problems include some small propaganda bits and the including of Harry Belafonte at his current age being in a film that was supposed to be in the early 70s seemed to make the film rather false since Harry Belafonte didnt look like the way he does today in the early 70s.
17. Cargo
While this remake of a short film by the same director was made in 2017 and released in Australia in 2017, it was released in the rest of the world in 2018 so it counts. Martin Freeman is excellent as a man who is turning into a zombie via a bite trying to find a suitable person to leave his daughter with and along the way, he meets one good kid looking to find a way to fix his father from the zombie infection, but he also meets an asshole who is using the zombie apocalypse to make a better life for himself. The hopelessness of our main character's situation (as there is no cure) added to the fact that he really wants to keep his daughter alive and able to survive with humans that will also have her best interest at heart crescendos into a bittersweet end that makes the journey worth it.
16. Apostle
Netflix had a pretty good year as well with several of their films making this list and this period horror film written and directed by a very promising director in Gareth Evans (director of The Raid 1 & 2) with this being his first film with an English cast as his movies before this were Indonesian films. He continues to bring the subdued brutality that his films bring with them, but this time, he adds a lot of horror with the film being about a former priest who has lost faith being hired by his family to make sure his sister is still alive after she was kidnapped by a cult for ransom so of course, he must infiltrate the cult. With haunting performances by Dan Stevens and Michael Sheen along with others, this movie gives you loads of dread with lots of torture that will satisfy the gorehound in you while not going to far to be something like Hostel or The Human Centipede.
15. Errementari: The Blacksmith & The Devil
A movie from Spain that I have never heard any of these critics talk about and it is too bad as this film is freaking great. Again, this movie was released in 2017 in Spain, but it was released here in 2018 via Netflix. The devil suit in this is one of the best I have ever seen in the fact that they were able to capture what the devil looks like in many literary books. This takes the old myth about The Smith and The Devil and continues on with that story, while giving small prices for the Smith winning originally, but ultimately, his life of isolation comes back to bite him as the town (who has stories of their own about him) comes to in their mind save a little girl from his clutches. But as always, it is a complete misunderstanding and of course, chaos ensues.
14. The Night Eats The World
Much like 28 Days Later, this film deals with the isolation caused by a sudden zombie apocalypse that our main character fell asleep through. However, this is more confined to our main character being stuck to a single building as going outside on the roads is pretty much a death trap as shown from a separate group trying to escape early in the film. Of course, there is also our main character losing small bits of sanity because as you know, complete isolation and hopelessness for your situation can do that. It also always helps that our main character is a good guy who is acted astonishingly by Anders Danielsen Lie, who was the real life terrorist Anders Behring Breivik in another film 22 July. In fact, he even has a kind of friend he talks to (who of course never answers back as he is a zombie). Great film all around.
13. Hereditary
A horror film centered around a family where some bad luck definitely happens and there may be devil worship involved. You will never look at a certain sound tic the same way again. Again, slow dread wins the day over quick, easy scares that many horror movies suffer from. Every character has flaws and are still likable, which makes their tragic fates all the more bittersweet when they occur. It may be slow to some people and I understand those who do not like that slow pace. I've looked a bit at Ari Astor's next film (which he is in pre-production of) and if this film is any indication, I might enjoy that film as well. Also, this was definately better than A24's last horror film, The Witch...which I did not like.
12. Black Panther
I'm prepared for the anger by this one being so low, but again...it is a personal preference, but let's get to its positives. This film is rich with color and rich with African ideas (not African-American, actual African ideas). Michael B. Jordan is great as the villain and the other cast members are not bad as well. I am of two minds on the final battle. While I think the battle between Black Panther and Killmonger has many flaws, the battle all around it between other supporting characters is superb with CGI and weaponry used to their upmost advantage in giving us a smorgasbord of action. Wakanda forever.
11. Aquaman
The best of the DCEU movies thus far. Like Black Panther, this movie was full of color. Yes, there was a bit of bro-ness from Aquaman that might piss off some people, but it was alright for me. Amber Heard is drop dead gorgeous as the lovely Mera and we have some good villains in Patrick Wilson as Ocean Master and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta. And the ending for the villains will be a rare thing. The fight scenes are great and for most of it, you can tell our main characters from everyone else fighting thanks to really good editing. Hell, even the water battles are good which video games can tell you is hard to accomplish. I'm hoping this good luck for the DCEU continues with Shazam and considering the trailers, it just might.
10. Before I Wake
Yes, I know this film was made in 2016 and was made before the film on last year's list Gerald's Game, however...this movie by Mike Flanagan was released this year thanks to Netflix. This movie is about grieving parents who lost their first kid now have adopted a new kid, but this kid has abilities to make his dreams come to life. First there is good use of this gift, then there is exploiting that gift, and finally there is the dark part of that gift in The Canker Man. Dread and fear lead in the end to grief and sadness as to the revelation of what The Canker Man really is. Always love someone who you care for no matter what the positive or negative comes with them. This is probably one of Mike Flanagan's best films and I would definitely recommend checking this one out.
9. Psychokinesis
The last film on this list that I got thanks to Netflix debuting it into this country is a film from Yeon Sang-ho, the director of the great Train To Busan. He brings to us another great film about a superhero this time instead of zombies. This film is about a lazy man who somehow gets abilities thanks to a meteorite and a new willingness to make up for his past mistakes to now protect his estranged daughter and her friends from a real estate development firm (who has help from the government and the law) who want the daughters land and were definately responsible for the death of the slob's estranged ex-wife. A huge part of this film as well is the sleazy nature of real estate development and how they may want something and fight so hard to get it, but after they finally have it...they may just do nothing with it over the smallest of slights. Sadly, in a place where I live, we have had to deal many times with greedy land developers who promise the world and then when the going gets tough, they leave.
8. Mandy
Nicholas Cage gives us a performance we have been waiting for in what seems like ages. While I was not a fan of the director's first film, Mandy more than makes up for it with his passion for the 80s and a passion for the weird worlds and characters that can be created from just having a vivid imagination. The story is about a man's love for his wife and what he will do to get revenge when she is killed right in front of him by a cult led by a psycho who had the hots for the man's wife. Lots of drugs and dark imagery make for some nightmarish imagery. Oh and once again for you gore fans, you will enjoy that this has a lot of blood to and creative ways to kill people.
7. Upgrade
I heard this film called the film that is what would happen if Venom was good (despite this being released months before Venom) and yes, it is as good as those reviews have made you believe. This film is about a man in a futuristic world who gets a secret implant and uses it in hopes of getting revenge against the people responsible for his paralyzed state and the death of his wife all the while realizing not everything is as it is seems. All the action scenes are great and our lead actor (who looks a lot like Tom Hardy (thus the Venom comparisons)) does better than what Tom Hardy would do in Venom. It is also directed by one of the two creators of what would become a franchise that came out every Halloween in Saw writer Leigh Whannell. It also satirizes how dependent we are at mobile devices (which as someone who does this blog, I really am okay with laughing at myself).
6. Peter Rabbit
Based on the trailers, I was expecting a film that would be a complete lazy ass bastardization in Beatrix Potter's classic character. However, it is a film that I have watched twice and definitely, made the Beatrix Potter character (as well as other Potter characters) extremely lovable (I won't even mention my favorite joke from a character who is played by the editor/co-producer). The cast (both voice actors and live actors) are all great at their roles. It's a film my mom and I can both watch and find it very charming. If you avoided it because of that horrible first trailer, let me tell you that it is thankfully not that film the trailer made us afraid of.
5. Avengers: Infinity War
Yes...I enjoyed this film more than Black Panther. Every MCU film up to this point has led all the way to this and Thanos is well worth the wait with him just being around for several films. Josh Brolin shines as the villain who hates how fast the population of the universe is growing and how wasteful we are with our resources so the only way he feels he can fix things is to complete this Infinity Gauntlet and erase half of the universe from existence. And in a huge shock to I'm sure many who didn't read the comics.........he does so and wins. Sorry for spoiling something that has been memed to death around here. But I'm not a complete unreasonable dick because I'm not going to tell you who is going to die because in this film, death is a very important factor here. Let's just say that if you take your young impressionable kid to this movie, you're probably going to have to have the talk about one of their favorite superheroes dying. Yeah, the cast works great and I can't wait to see how this all ends with Avengers: Endgame
4. Mirai
My favorite animated film of 2018 and when everyone says Spider-man: Into The Spider-verse is the best animated movie, I do wonder if they have seen this gem. As someone who was an older sibling and who had to deal with the issues of feeling your parents may be paying more attention to my younger sibling, this movie spoke to me in many ways. The magic and infusion of different animation styles works well in this film and does not interfere with other animations unlike other well received animated films. Now there was one scene that might have been a bit out of sorts compared to the rest of the film, I enjoyed the overall experience and if it wasnt for three other films that were released before this, I would put this as #1.
3. A Star Is Born
Let me first off say that I have not seen any of the two A Star Is Born movies that this was a remake of. Second, I am not a Lady Gaga fan as far as her music goes. With all of that out of the way, I freaking love this movie. I am really upset that Lady Gaga did not get best actress at the Golden Globes as she absolutely was great as an actress in this film. Bradley Cooper was also great as an actor and director of this film. I didn't even have to like all of the music to enjoy this film as you could see the heart was there from everyone. This is a film that was worthy of all the hype it got and I will be very intrigued to see how the Academy views this film. Big ups to Sam Elliot and Andrew Dice Clay for their roles in the film as well.
2. Paddington 2
Yes, the bear is back and surprisingly, this film was better than the first one, which was also great. Paddington just has this attitude that all kids should look up to in being kind and shows that for plenty of people, if you show a positive attitude, it rubs off on their interaction with you . Everything that made the first film enjoyable is back, but you now have some awesome side characters too, including a better villain (who is played by Hugh Grant) and a "not to be messed with" prison chef (played by Brendan Gleeson). You also had call backs to past one off characters like that one guy who kinda finds men dressed as women attractive. By the way, all what happens in this film is based on just a simple pop-up book. A third Paddington film is in the works, but a big worry for that is the director is going to be someone different as Paul King (director of the first two films) will not be directing this one (although he will still be in a creative capacity).
And before we get to #1. There is a special 1A because while I make it known that I don't include documentaries on my "End of The Year" lists. There needs to be a special exemption for this.
1A. Won't You Be My Neighbor
Words really cannot describe how much Mr. Rogers meant to me and my mom growing up as my mom has been a day care caretaker for years now. I am truly sad that there will not be another Mr. Rogers for kids of today because he believed all of us are special in our own little ways (by the way, fuck you to those who say Mr. Rogers lied in that not everyone is special because they missed the point). He enriched so many lives for so many years with his neighborhood. Hell, one of the two times I thought e-feds was a cool idea for me to do, my first character in that second run was a Mr. Rogers like character with puppets being one of my best promos. Let's just remember that Mr. Rogers was what made me enjoy puppets before I ever saw Sesame Street. I left this movie in tears because yes, they did Mr. Rogers right.
Now for #1 of this list.
1. Sorry To Bother You
This movie is not only funny, but it is a perfect satire of how messed up capitalism can be if exploited unchecked. My friend told me this movie was great and I needed to see it, and that I did. The only sad thing is I was the only person in that theater at that showing. Everyone is great in this film and the satire doesn't end with capitalism unchecked, it also makes fun of our meme culture, our own biases towards the world based on comforts, our bosses trying to pretend to be friends when they really are not, and tv shows that are completely exploitative of people that are on it. Lekeith Stanfield will definitely be an actor to look out for. There is a certain part that is definitely uncomfortable, but I will not spoil that for you. It will also be interesting to see if Boots Riley does another film again because as is well known, this is his first feature film. What is well known is I will recommend this to anyone to see and this would be my vote for best film of 2018.
Now that we are done with this. I guess we need to go down the gutters and find out the worst of 2018. Let's just say there is a reason the good films in 2018 stood out and that is because their was way more crap than there was good so this worst of the year list was harder to do. See you then....
* Anna & The Apocalypse
* A Private War
* A Simple Favor
* Bad Times At The El Royale
* Blindspotting
* Bohemian Rhapsody
* Borg vs. McEnroe
* Boy Erased
* Call Me By Your Name
* Cam
* Can You Ever Forgive Me
* Chappaquiddick
* Dumplin'
* First Man
* Green Book
* If Beale Street Could Talk
* Instant Family
* I, Tonya
* Lean On Pete
* Let The Corpses Tan
* Love, Simon
* Mama Mia: Here We Go Again
* Mary Poppins Returns
* Mid 90s
* Mohawk
* Molly's Game
* Roma
* Smallfoot
* The Death Of Stalin
* The Old Man & The Gun
* The Other Side Of The Wind
* To All The Boys I've Loved Before
* Phantom Thread
* The Favourite
* The Hate U Give
* The Post
* The Sisters Brothers
* The Wife
* Unsane
* Vice
* Widows
Now for the supposedly great to good movies that I have seen, but will not make the list or honorable mentions. I'm sure I'll get some anger over the fact that I didn't like these or like these enough so sorry (not sorry).
* 22 July
* Alpha
* American Animals
* Annihilation
* Ant-Man & The Wasp
* Beirut
* Crazy Rich Asians
* Early Man
* Eighth Grade
* Game Night
* Halloween
* I Kill Giants
* Incredibles 2
* Isle of Dogs
* Leave No Trace
* Mary & The Witch's Flower
* Mission Impossible: Fallout
* Mom & Dad
* Overlord
* Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
* Ready Player One
* Teen Titans Go! To The Movies
* The Ballad Of Buster Skruggs
* The Endless
* Thoroughbreds
* You Were Never Really Here
And now we begin with our 5 honorable mentions of movies that just barely missed out on being in the Top 25 (in alphabetical order).
Rampage
Revenge
Searching
Tau
The Night Comes For Us
And now that we are finished with that, here is the Top 25 for me. If you disagree, just remember that this is my list and this is based on personal preferences.
25. Creed II
I'm a bit indifferent on Rocky IV. I won't lie. I also really enjoyed Creed so despite my hangups on continuing the Rocky IV stuff, I was looking forward to it. Then the reviews were not as favorable as the first Creed and that gave me a bit of trepidation. Thankfully, I saw it and I know those concerns were only minor. I really love that they continued the story of Ivan Drago and what happened after he lost to Rocky Balboa to show that his mother Russia basically left him. All the fights were important fights to see, even the fight where Adonis Creed gets his ass kicked by Victor Drago. Everything even the ending made all the sense in the world if you know these characters from previous films. Even the stuff with Creed and his fiancee and new baby were great. The only problem I could see with some people is you really would need to have seen Rocky IV to get the full knowledge of what is going on.
24. A Quiet Place
Horror was really good this year for me if this great movie is this low. Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were great as a married couple with kids, which makes sense as they are husband and wife in real life. The kids were great too and you really felt for these kids (especially their hearing impaired daughter). Just like Jordan Peele last year (who is releasing another film in 2019 which I am interested in called Us), John Krasinski also shows that he can direct a film with such tension that several of these so-called masters of horror like Eli Roth, Joe Lynch, and Adam Green can take freaking notes on. Also the use of sounds and silence to create an unsettling feel that makes you silently say "Oh shit" when any noise is made as remember these creatures are drawn to any sound so even a pin dropping is bad. The only problem with this film is the CGI isn't the best although that is okay since the aliens are rarely shown and covered in a lot of darkness.
23. Flavors of Youth
I know that Anime America did not like this film as they found it rather pretentious. I would normally not mention negative reviews, but their case on the dub is good as it is bad. I was lucky enough to see it subtitled and while that will not fix the total issues the film has, the voice actors do fit the characters unlike when Netflix brought in one of those teens from 12 Reasons Why to voice a character in the third story where he does not match the character at all. Oh yeah, this is an anthology anime film so it is three stories talking about relationships between two people (man & grandmother, two sisters, and man and girl who happens to be a friend) and they really hit me in the feels.
22. Blockers
An extremely funny movie that deals with three parents (each with different situations) having three kids who are friends and those kids all decide that at prom, they will all lose their virginity. Of course, this gets read on accident by the parents and they all decide for their own reasons to try and stop the kids from doing so. John Cena has surprisingly shown that he definitely has some acting chops if given a good script (remember that for later). All of this works really well with a great resolution. The only problem for me was plenty of the jokes are cringe inducing.
21. Bumblebee
Finally, we have a good Transformers movie. Now to any worry that you need to see the other ones to see this, don't worry....this is a prequel so you don't have to know anything that happened in those other films. In fact, those are the best prequels where you don't need the other films for context to this happening. Instead of a lead that gets a bad director to ruin them, we get a great lead with a great directing in Hailee Steinfeld as the lead and great directing from Travis Knight, who also directed Kubo & The Two Strings (a great film). Once again, John Cena is great as a serious actor (which shows you that he doesnt need to be in comedies to work (looking at you, Channing Tatum)) if you give him a great script. No stupid sex jokes for Michael Bay's enjoyment. And the biggest thing about this film, you can tell the Transformers apart which was a huge problem with the Transformers in the Michael Bay films.
20. Ralph Breaks The Internet
Honestly, I felt the first Wreck It Ralph movie was merely okay. However, I really enjoyed the sequel as both Ralph and Vanellope do get equal time to shine with the whole point being about their friendship and how important they are in each other's lives. This is The Emoji Movie done with care for the internet and not a shell film to sell you products (heck, most of the main focus is on games or products that are just made up). Also, I found plenty of the jokes about the internet to be extremely funny including jokes about pop-ups and viral videos. Ultimately, it is a funny look at the internet and proof that while Disney did make some stinkers this year, they made plenty of good movies as well.
19. Deadpool 2
Before anyone asks, no...I did not see Once Upon A Deadpool during its limited run. But instead, I saw Deadpool 2 in its original run. While I did not like Deadpool 2 as much as the first Deadpool movie, the jokes landed greatly and all the characters were very useful in their parts. Those extra characters were killed quickly and disposed of (like the random cameo of a famous actor). Josh Brolin does a fantastic as Cable (although I still kind would have rather seen Stephen Lang in the role) and Domino is good as well. Also returning characters Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus were also good and the former's relationship partner was the source of some rather simple jokes that could not be offensive in any way (seriously, its just "hi" gags used several times for just strange reasons). But the best jokes were saved for the end (I mean mid-credit stuff) as Deadpool fixes various wrongs perpetrated.
18. BlacKKKlansman
This movie was definitely funny and needed considering the times we live in. Topher Grace is really made hatable as that racist asshole David Duke. John David Washington and Adam Driver are great as the two detectives who both play a part in the fake white supremacist who infiltrated the Klu Klux Klan to expose some criminal dealings they were involved in. While there is plenty of this movie that is drastically changed from the actual real life story as you would expect with Spike Lee films, although thankfully he is back to being a good director this time instead of that time he wanted to remake Oldboy. Now problems include some small propaganda bits and the including of Harry Belafonte at his current age being in a film that was supposed to be in the early 70s seemed to make the film rather false since Harry Belafonte didnt look like the way he does today in the early 70s.
17. Cargo
While this remake of a short film by the same director was made in 2017 and released in Australia in 2017, it was released in the rest of the world in 2018 so it counts. Martin Freeman is excellent as a man who is turning into a zombie via a bite trying to find a suitable person to leave his daughter with and along the way, he meets one good kid looking to find a way to fix his father from the zombie infection, but he also meets an asshole who is using the zombie apocalypse to make a better life for himself. The hopelessness of our main character's situation (as there is no cure) added to the fact that he really wants to keep his daughter alive and able to survive with humans that will also have her best interest at heart crescendos into a bittersweet end that makes the journey worth it.
16. Apostle
Netflix had a pretty good year as well with several of their films making this list and this period horror film written and directed by a very promising director in Gareth Evans (director of The Raid 1 & 2) with this being his first film with an English cast as his movies before this were Indonesian films. He continues to bring the subdued brutality that his films bring with them, but this time, he adds a lot of horror with the film being about a former priest who has lost faith being hired by his family to make sure his sister is still alive after she was kidnapped by a cult for ransom so of course, he must infiltrate the cult. With haunting performances by Dan Stevens and Michael Sheen along with others, this movie gives you loads of dread with lots of torture that will satisfy the gorehound in you while not going to far to be something like Hostel or The Human Centipede.
15. Errementari: The Blacksmith & The Devil
A movie from Spain that I have never heard any of these critics talk about and it is too bad as this film is freaking great. Again, this movie was released in 2017 in Spain, but it was released here in 2018 via Netflix. The devil suit in this is one of the best I have ever seen in the fact that they were able to capture what the devil looks like in many literary books. This takes the old myth about The Smith and The Devil and continues on with that story, while giving small prices for the Smith winning originally, but ultimately, his life of isolation comes back to bite him as the town (who has stories of their own about him) comes to in their mind save a little girl from his clutches. But as always, it is a complete misunderstanding and of course, chaos ensues.
14. The Night Eats The World
Much like 28 Days Later, this film deals with the isolation caused by a sudden zombie apocalypse that our main character fell asleep through. However, this is more confined to our main character being stuck to a single building as going outside on the roads is pretty much a death trap as shown from a separate group trying to escape early in the film. Of course, there is also our main character losing small bits of sanity because as you know, complete isolation and hopelessness for your situation can do that. It also always helps that our main character is a good guy who is acted astonishingly by Anders Danielsen Lie, who was the real life terrorist Anders Behring Breivik in another film 22 July. In fact, he even has a kind of friend he talks to (who of course never answers back as he is a zombie). Great film all around.
13. Hereditary
A horror film centered around a family where some bad luck definitely happens and there may be devil worship involved. You will never look at a certain sound tic the same way again. Again, slow dread wins the day over quick, easy scares that many horror movies suffer from. Every character has flaws and are still likable, which makes their tragic fates all the more bittersweet when they occur. It may be slow to some people and I understand those who do not like that slow pace. I've looked a bit at Ari Astor's next film (which he is in pre-production of) and if this film is any indication, I might enjoy that film as well. Also, this was definately better than A24's last horror film, The Witch...which I did not like.
12. Black Panther
I'm prepared for the anger by this one being so low, but again...it is a personal preference, but let's get to its positives. This film is rich with color and rich with African ideas (not African-American, actual African ideas). Michael B. Jordan is great as the villain and the other cast members are not bad as well. I am of two minds on the final battle. While I think the battle between Black Panther and Killmonger has many flaws, the battle all around it between other supporting characters is superb with CGI and weaponry used to their upmost advantage in giving us a smorgasbord of action. Wakanda forever.
11. Aquaman
The best of the DCEU movies thus far. Like Black Panther, this movie was full of color. Yes, there was a bit of bro-ness from Aquaman that might piss off some people, but it was alright for me. Amber Heard is drop dead gorgeous as the lovely Mera and we have some good villains in Patrick Wilson as Ocean Master and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta. And the ending for the villains will be a rare thing. The fight scenes are great and for most of it, you can tell our main characters from everyone else fighting thanks to really good editing. Hell, even the water battles are good which video games can tell you is hard to accomplish. I'm hoping this good luck for the DCEU continues with Shazam and considering the trailers, it just might.
10. Before I Wake
Yes, I know this film was made in 2016 and was made before the film on last year's list Gerald's Game, however...this movie by Mike Flanagan was released this year thanks to Netflix. This movie is about grieving parents who lost their first kid now have adopted a new kid, but this kid has abilities to make his dreams come to life. First there is good use of this gift, then there is exploiting that gift, and finally there is the dark part of that gift in The Canker Man. Dread and fear lead in the end to grief and sadness as to the revelation of what The Canker Man really is. Always love someone who you care for no matter what the positive or negative comes with them. This is probably one of Mike Flanagan's best films and I would definitely recommend checking this one out.
9. Psychokinesis
The last film on this list that I got thanks to Netflix debuting it into this country is a film from Yeon Sang-ho, the director of the great Train To Busan. He brings to us another great film about a superhero this time instead of zombies. This film is about a lazy man who somehow gets abilities thanks to a meteorite and a new willingness to make up for his past mistakes to now protect his estranged daughter and her friends from a real estate development firm (who has help from the government and the law) who want the daughters land and were definately responsible for the death of the slob's estranged ex-wife. A huge part of this film as well is the sleazy nature of real estate development and how they may want something and fight so hard to get it, but after they finally have it...they may just do nothing with it over the smallest of slights. Sadly, in a place where I live, we have had to deal many times with greedy land developers who promise the world and then when the going gets tough, they leave.
8. Mandy
Nicholas Cage gives us a performance we have been waiting for in what seems like ages. While I was not a fan of the director's first film, Mandy more than makes up for it with his passion for the 80s and a passion for the weird worlds and characters that can be created from just having a vivid imagination. The story is about a man's love for his wife and what he will do to get revenge when she is killed right in front of him by a cult led by a psycho who had the hots for the man's wife. Lots of drugs and dark imagery make for some nightmarish imagery. Oh and once again for you gore fans, you will enjoy that this has a lot of blood to and creative ways to kill people.
7. Upgrade
I heard this film called the film that is what would happen if Venom was good (despite this being released months before Venom) and yes, it is as good as those reviews have made you believe. This film is about a man in a futuristic world who gets a secret implant and uses it in hopes of getting revenge against the people responsible for his paralyzed state and the death of his wife all the while realizing not everything is as it is seems. All the action scenes are great and our lead actor (who looks a lot like Tom Hardy (thus the Venom comparisons)) does better than what Tom Hardy would do in Venom. It is also directed by one of the two creators of what would become a franchise that came out every Halloween in Saw writer Leigh Whannell. It also satirizes how dependent we are at mobile devices (which as someone who does this blog, I really am okay with laughing at myself).
6. Peter Rabbit
Based on the trailers, I was expecting a film that would be a complete lazy ass bastardization in Beatrix Potter's classic character. However, it is a film that I have watched twice and definitely, made the Beatrix Potter character (as well as other Potter characters) extremely lovable (I won't even mention my favorite joke from a character who is played by the editor/co-producer). The cast (both voice actors and live actors) are all great at their roles. It's a film my mom and I can both watch and find it very charming. If you avoided it because of that horrible first trailer, let me tell you that it is thankfully not that film the trailer made us afraid of.
5. Avengers: Infinity War
Yes...I enjoyed this film more than Black Panther. Every MCU film up to this point has led all the way to this and Thanos is well worth the wait with him just being around for several films. Josh Brolin shines as the villain who hates how fast the population of the universe is growing and how wasteful we are with our resources so the only way he feels he can fix things is to complete this Infinity Gauntlet and erase half of the universe from existence. And in a huge shock to I'm sure many who didn't read the comics.........he does so and wins. Sorry for spoiling something that has been memed to death around here. But I'm not a complete unreasonable dick because I'm not going to tell you who is going to die because in this film, death is a very important factor here. Let's just say that if you take your young impressionable kid to this movie, you're probably going to have to have the talk about one of their favorite superheroes dying. Yeah, the cast works great and I can't wait to see how this all ends with Avengers: Endgame
4. Mirai
My favorite animated film of 2018 and when everyone says Spider-man: Into The Spider-verse is the best animated movie, I do wonder if they have seen this gem. As someone who was an older sibling and who had to deal with the issues of feeling your parents may be paying more attention to my younger sibling, this movie spoke to me in many ways. The magic and infusion of different animation styles works well in this film and does not interfere with other animations unlike other well received animated films. Now there was one scene that might have been a bit out of sorts compared to the rest of the film, I enjoyed the overall experience and if it wasnt for three other films that were released before this, I would put this as #1.
3. A Star Is Born
Let me first off say that I have not seen any of the two A Star Is Born movies that this was a remake of. Second, I am not a Lady Gaga fan as far as her music goes. With all of that out of the way, I freaking love this movie. I am really upset that Lady Gaga did not get best actress at the Golden Globes as she absolutely was great as an actress in this film. Bradley Cooper was also great as an actor and director of this film. I didn't even have to like all of the music to enjoy this film as you could see the heart was there from everyone. This is a film that was worthy of all the hype it got and I will be very intrigued to see how the Academy views this film. Big ups to Sam Elliot and Andrew Dice Clay for their roles in the film as well.
2. Paddington 2
Yes, the bear is back and surprisingly, this film was better than the first one, which was also great. Paddington just has this attitude that all kids should look up to in being kind and shows that for plenty of people, if you show a positive attitude, it rubs off on their interaction with you . Everything that made the first film enjoyable is back, but you now have some awesome side characters too, including a better villain (who is played by Hugh Grant) and a "not to be messed with" prison chef (played by Brendan Gleeson). You also had call backs to past one off characters like that one guy who kinda finds men dressed as women attractive. By the way, all what happens in this film is based on just a simple pop-up book. A third Paddington film is in the works, but a big worry for that is the director is going to be someone different as Paul King (director of the first two films) will not be directing this one (although he will still be in a creative capacity).
And before we get to #1. There is a special 1A because while I make it known that I don't include documentaries on my "End of The Year" lists. There needs to be a special exemption for this.
1A. Won't You Be My Neighbor
Words really cannot describe how much Mr. Rogers meant to me and my mom growing up as my mom has been a day care caretaker for years now. I am truly sad that there will not be another Mr. Rogers for kids of today because he believed all of us are special in our own little ways (by the way, fuck you to those who say Mr. Rogers lied in that not everyone is special because they missed the point). He enriched so many lives for so many years with his neighborhood. Hell, one of the two times I thought e-feds was a cool idea for me to do, my first character in that second run was a Mr. Rogers like character with puppets being one of my best promos. Let's just remember that Mr. Rogers was what made me enjoy puppets before I ever saw Sesame Street. I left this movie in tears because yes, they did Mr. Rogers right.
Now for #1 of this list.
1. Sorry To Bother You
This movie is not only funny, but it is a perfect satire of how messed up capitalism can be if exploited unchecked. My friend told me this movie was great and I needed to see it, and that I did. The only sad thing is I was the only person in that theater at that showing. Everyone is great in this film and the satire doesn't end with capitalism unchecked, it also makes fun of our meme culture, our own biases towards the world based on comforts, our bosses trying to pretend to be friends when they really are not, and tv shows that are completely exploitative of people that are on it. Lekeith Stanfield will definitely be an actor to look out for. There is a certain part that is definitely uncomfortable, but I will not spoil that for you. It will also be interesting to see if Boots Riley does another film again because as is well known, this is his first feature film. What is well known is I will recommend this to anyone to see and this would be my vote for best film of 2018.
Now that we are done with this. I guess we need to go down the gutters and find out the worst of 2018. Let's just say there is a reason the good films in 2018 stood out and that is because their was way more crap than there was good so this worst of the year list was harder to do. See you then....