Saturday, March 30, 2013

Monster Crap Inductee: Leprechaun 2 (1994)

Monster Crap Inductee: Leprechaun 2
All That Glitters In This Film Is Fool’s Gold


You might remember 3 years ago, I did an induction on the original Leprechaun film. My opinion on that was it was loads of awesomely bad fun, thanks in large part to Warwick Davis having fun with the role. However, I should mention that just because Warwick Davis is having fun doesn’t mean you are going to get an enjoyable movie unless you have good people for him to play off of and of course, that leads me to the downgrade that is Leprechaun 2.

In the first film, we got Jennifer Aniston (who would go on that same year to be in Friends and pretty much will not talk about being in Leprechaun), Mark Holton (who was Francis Buxton in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure), and Robert Hy Gorman (who out of many kid actors to plague the 90s, was one of the ones that sucked the least). In this film, we have none of those people returning and instead we get in our main characters basically no one who can act and small roles from such actors as Michael McDonald (long before he got his break on MadTV), and early appearances from Monster Crap alums Clint Howard and Tony Cox.

Clint Howard Was The Sailor In The Yellow Jacket In House of the Dead

Tony Cox Was The Midget In The First GINO Award Winner, Epic Movie
Oh and those last two have little to NO INTERACTION with The Leprechaun. Oh, I guess I could mention that there is one more noteworthy person in Sandy Baron…….or I can outsource it to someone who knows more about this guy than I do. Game Show Garbage’s Robert Q. Seidelman, if you please?

Sandy Baron was comedian who had some success as an actor on TV and films before, mainly narrating Broadway Danny Rose and even played Grandpa in the TV Movie: The Munster's Scary Little Christmas. In the 60s he hosted a pilot for Hollywood Squares, but was passed up for Peter Marshall. He would appear on the show in the 60s and early 70s and other celebrity games during that time period.

Thank you very much, Robert. So join me as I try to remember what happens in this movie that I almost always seem to forget because it is so forgettable.

Ahhh………The Trimark Logo


We start in Ireland.

Thanks Movie

So Is This Your Way Of Saying “A Long Long Time Ago”?

We begin this film with a guy with a metal collar around his neck running from the Leprechaun and that is intercut with the opening credits. Of course he is stopped when the Leprechaun remembers that the collar has magical powers that he can use to act like a shock collar.

I Should Add That For Some Reason, The Leprechaun Is Wearing That Hat. What Is The Leprechaun, Old School Hip Hop?

Oh Yeah…………….Maybe He Is.

Anyway, the guy with the metal collar’s name is William O’Day and because Will tried to steal the Leprechaun’s gold, he became his slave. But good news for William is that it is St. Patrick’s Day and the Leprechaun’s 1,000th birthday and at that age, the leprechaun can now claim his bride. What does that mean for William? Well, it means once the Leprechaun has his bride, William will be free to go. And of course, we learn how the Leprechaun gets his bride. Three sneezes without a “God Bless You”, and she is his bride.

And what a beauty he has chosen.

Of course, William does have a problem with his choice because that is his daughter.

So the Leprechaun tries to do his three sneezes trick and it almost works, but on the third sneeze, William says “God Bless You". Of course this pisses off the Leprechaun who after a very short chase, strangles him to death. As William dies, the Leprechaun places a curse upon his bloodline and says that in the next 1,000th birthday, he will claim his female descendant as his next bride. William dies and the Leprechaun leaves as his daughter greaves after finding her dead father. And we get the opening title.

As the credits go, we go down the line of women he could have had on that bloodline, but it wasn’t his 1,000th birthday.

I Feel For You, Lep. All Those Good Looking Women And Because Of Some Stupid Rule That Even I Don’t Know About, You Weren’t Able To Attempt To Marry One Of Them.

Anyway, we then see the final one on the bloodline that is now.

Oh, Don’t Bother Asking Me Why There Are Only One Daughter For Each Generation Because My Answer Is……………….I Don’t Know.

Oh, And We Find Out It Is 1,000 Years Later…..As If We Needed To Be Told In Big Letters

Anyway, we meet Bridget and her boyfriend, Cody.

Cody is helper to his uncle’s Darkside Tours scam. It’s basically a car ride where they show you “spooky parts” of the city. There are plenty of those in some of the bigger cities and I never fall for them. Now that is not to say that they are not legit, just for this film………..this one is pretty much a scam.

Cody is able to con two couples into being on this Darkside Tour.

Two Of Them Being Clint Howard And Kimmy Robertson (Who You Might Know As The Feather Duster In Disney’s Beauty & The Beast, and as the Sheriff’s ditsy secretary named Lucy in Twin Peaks)

Now there is another couple, but I don’t know their names. Now apparently, Cody and Bridget have a planned date at the go-karts, but first he has to get his uncle Morty, so he can drive the “suckers” around town with this scam. Unfortunately, Morty is at the bar getting drunk.

So since Morty is unable to do the tour, Cody has to fill in so the two drive the Tour hearse and of course, there is arguing between the two and of course because of Cody’s lack of experience, this does prove to be a complete rip-off to the four customers that Cody suckered into this venture (like being at the last house that Bella Legosi lived in before he died and having a black woman come out to chase them off. When asked who that was, Cody says that it was her stepdaughter Stella Legosi).

After they leave the last stop, Harry Houdini’s former mansion (which they were scared by a hobo), the hobo goes to find a place to sleep and he finds a tree.

You Can Kind Of Guess Where This Is Going.

The Leprechaun appears out of the tree and takes a swig of the hobo’s liquor.

Oh and because the hobo has a gold tooth, the Leprechaun takes it out of him.

He then puts the tooth into his pot of gold. Oh by the way, Bridget leaves at the go-kart place to let Cody finish his tour rather angrily. At the go-kart place, we meet Ian, who obviously has a thing for Bridget and abuses his privileges as manager to have someone else cover for him as he goes with Bridget.

What An Asshole

Oh and while going back to drop them off, Cody runs a red light and gets pulled over by the cops.


Cody has to get bailed out by Morty because his uncle just so happens to be his legal guardian. While there, they see the hobo who keeps saying a Leprechaun took his tooth and they don’t believe him. Meanwhile, the Leprechaun uses his staff to tell him where the descendant of William is and the staff points him to that direction. A talent agent tries to give him his card and tell him to call him, but the Leprechaun rips off his finger because that finger just so happens to have a gold ring on it.

Oh, And The Leprechaun Says It’s “Finger Licking Good”

Cody is in his room looking over pictures of him and Bridget as well as thinking he is seeing Bridget kissing Ian. He runs into Morty, who is screwing the pizza delivery man by making sure the pizza is late so he gets it free. After Morty tries to have Cody forget about her, Cody leaves saying he is going after her.

Meanwhile, Ian drives Bridget home and tries to be her new boyfriend, but Bridget says no. Ian shows his true colors by trying to use all the good things he did for her as a way of saying she owes him. Bridget doesn’t fall for that and Ian calls her a tease. Bridget responds by punching him in the stomach before leaving and Ian sells this as if he was one of those friendly punches people get. Of course the garage door opens and he sees Bridget who undresses for him, showing her breasts.

But of course it really is the Leprechaun playing tricks by making Ian think he sees Bridget.

Let see what really is there.

Well, let’s just say that Ian loses his face.

Bridget hears a knock on the door and thinks that it is Ian, but it is really Cody with flowers. Cody apologizes and Bridget forgives him. Meanwhile, the Leprechaun has made his way into the house and attempts the three sneezes. After the first sneeze, Cody jokes around that she is allergic to them which Bridget denies. The second time she sneezes, Cody says “Gesundheit”, which I’m sure most people think is just like “God Bless You”, but since I was born in Germany (West Germany to be exact), I know that it just means “Good Health” so the Leprechaun is in the clear to attempt a third sneeze. Bridget sneezes a third time and Cody tries to say “God Bless You, but the Leprechaun stops him before he does by having the phone line wrap around him. Cody uses a knife to cut it and the Leprechaun attacks. After a brief struggle (during which the Leprechaun loses a gold coin (which just so happens to be in the possession of Cody) and we learn the Leprechaun this time has a weakness to rot iron), the Leprechaun is able to put a gold magical collar around her neck and disappears with her.

The Leprechaun takes her to his realm in the Harry Houdini tree and after a failed attempt to escape by Bridget, the Leprechaun realizes that he is missing a piece of his gold. If you had not remembered by the first film, this Leprechaun is very well known for being pissed if even one piece of his gold is missing. But with the rot iron being a weakness, you will know that in each of the sequels, there will be a whole new weakness for the Leprechaun and the rules in each film will change as well.

Anyway, Bridget is tied up to the bed so the Leprechaun can look for his coin, but before he leaves, he gives her a dress to change into and he says this line.

Leprechaun: Kiss me, I’m Irish.

And then he kisses her.

Well Okay, He Tongues Her Cheek Instead.

Meanwhile, back at the house where the Leprechaun is looking for his gold coin, the police are there and they think that Cody is the one who kidnapped Bridget as the flowers are their evidence against him and her parents always thought he was bad news. While all this is going on, Bridget tries to escape, but there seems to be really no escape in the Leprechaun’s lair.

Meanwhile in the city, the police are looking for Cody and even tell Morty that they are looking for him. After a few questions, Morty goes into his office where Cody surprises him and of course, the con uncle asks him what he did since the cops are looking for him. Cody says that he didn’t do it and that a leprechaun did it. Yeah… you expect, Morty doesn’t believe him. He then uses his proof with the gold coin that he dropped. They look it up and see that it is a very old gold coin that comes from Ireland, but Morty still doesn’t believe the Leprechaun story. We then get some backstory about Leprechauns are devious and live by trickery. They can also use telepathic powers and turn invisible at will. Also, they are masters of illusion. We learn that leprechauns can only be harmed by rot iron. Finally, when a leprechaun lays claim to a lass, you have until daybreak to free her or she will never be heard from again. Morty tries to get it through Cody’s head that leprechauns do not exist, except that goes out the window when the actual Leprechaun appears.

The Leprechaun wants the coin, but Cody will only give it to her if he gives him back Bridget. The Leprechaun smiles and promises that he will do just that as long as he gives him the coin.

I Don’t Know About You, But I Think This Leprechaun Is Lying

Of course Cody almost gives it to him, but Morty stops him telling him that he can’t trust a leprechaun. The two escape through a fire escape and we see more of the Leprechaun’s weakness to rot iron. The two decide to go to the bar that Morty frequents and since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, a lot of people have dressed for the occasion. Heck while Morty hides Cody in the bathroom and goes to get himself a drink, Cody is visited by a midget dressed as a leprechaun.

Hi Tony Cox

This midget offers Cody a gold coin and mentions that it is just a chocolate coin. All the while giving what may be the perfect future avatar for St. Patrick’s Day here at Monster Crap.

Cody accidentally bumps into another midget, who tells him to “Watch it, nosebleed” and he goes to meet Morty. Morty tells him that the Leprechaun is here and points him out to Cody.

Yeah, The Leprechaun Looks Like The Guy Who Is About To Buy You A Drink Or Is Just Waiting For Everyone To Leave So He Can Beat The Shit Out Of You.

The Leprechaun comes up to them mentioning that he wants his gold and Morty comes up with an idea. He tells the bartender that his friend here (the Leprechaun) just got married and goads the Leprechaun to drink a shot in front of everyone. It gets even better when Morty challenges him to a drink off and we learn that while the Leprechaun is drinking real whisky, Morty’s drink is actually water. The Leprechaun actually gets drunk and has trouble controlling his magic.

Yeah, I’m Gonna Need This Screen Shot When I Get To Leprechaun 4

The only way the Leprechaun gets out of this situation is to use the jukebox playing as a distraction so he can hit Morty in the head with the alcohol bottle. Meanwhile, Bridget tries to use rocks like rocks as breadcrumbs for her way around the domain, but the rocks keep disappearing so that doesn’t work, but she does find a box which contains bottles, pipes, and a sharp object that could be used to stab someone.

The Leprechaun decides to get over his drunkenness by being at an Espresso Café. There we meet Michael McDonald (before he got famous on MadTV).

He plays a waiter who is annoyed that the Leprechaun is keeping him from closing the store and even gets on him about paying for all the coffee he has drank. The Leprechaun kills him by nailing his arms to the bar and burning his face off with the steaming part of the espresso machine.

At the go-kart place, Cody feeds the guard dog that was shown earlier so they can get into the place and use the safe since it is made of rot iron. When Morty comes out, a security guard grabs him saying that he broke a silent alarm. After a few minutes, the security guard gets knocked out and they are able to lure the Leprechaun into the safe trapping him. But greed gets to Morty as he locks Cody in the closet. Morty then says he wants his three wishes, which the Leprechaun has to give him. His first wish is he wants the Leprechaun’s gold and he gets it….

In His Stomach

Now Morty wants it out of him, but first he has to wish the Leprechaun out of the safe and despite Cody’s protests, Morty makes the second wish to let the Leprechaun out of the safe, but of course he still has to open the door. Then Morty makes his wish to have the gold out of him, which the Leprechaun accepts.

So He Cuts It Out Of His Stomach

The Leprechaun is about to leave, but Morty asks him to save him. The Leprechaun said he would love to, but Morty used up his wishes. Actually, no he didn’t. Any lawyer could tell you that since he had to open the safe, then the second wish is invalid. Sorry Leprechaun, but you would still have to save him.

Hmmm, should have gone to Paul Lynde for the win.

Yeah, but unfortunately it was instead Sandy Baron as Morty so yeah, one of the most known actors in this film is dead. Anyway, Cody is able to free himself out of the closet before the Leprechaun is able to get to him. The Leprechaun disappears in disgust as Cody comes back into the office and is with Morty when he finally dies.

Cody wants to go after the Leprechaun, but the security guard who was knocked out earlier comes back in and tries to arrest him. The Leprechaun then shows in a go-cart.

My, Does The Leprechaun Love Go-Karts.

The Leprechaun of course runs over the security guard.

The Leprechaun tries to run over Cody, but because Cody has the coin, the go-kart goes straight through Cody without any incident.

Cody then realizes that the Leprechaun can’t hurt him as long as he has the coin, but the Leprechaun still makes threat and wants the coin. And then, the Leprechaun disappears. Cody says he is going to get the Leprechaun, grabs an iron rod, and asks this question.

Cody: Have you had your iron today?

The Leprechaun goes to his home and Bridget comes out in the red dress that the Leprechaun asked her to wear.

She fakes seducing the Leprechaun, with the ultimate goal of giving the Leprechaun a shiv.

It Doesn’t Work

Cody enters the Leprechaun’s lair and looks for Bridget. The Leprechaun greets Cody and Cody tries to chase him. The Leprechaun uses the skeleton of William attacks Cody, but Cody is able to defeat it pretty easily. Meanwhile, Bridget uses the broken shiv to break the lock on her collar. The Leprechaun tries to use a briar patch to get his coin back from Cody, but of course Cody is able to handle that easier than the skeleton. Bridget finally escapes and now the Leprechaun has to get both his coin back and find Bridget again (and put a new collar on her since that golden one is pretty much unusable anymore).

While being in a chase scene straight out of a Scooby Doo episode, The Leprechaun attempts get the coin by pretending to be Bridget. Cody does give her a gold coin and The Leprechaun thinks he has won and it seems that the Leprechaun has killed him. He is about to celebrate with Bridget, but Cody shows up and stabs the Leprechaun.

The Leprechaun wonders how this could happen and Cody reveals that the coin he gave him was the chocolate coin Tony Cox’s leprechaun gave him earlier. However, unlike the first movie where we got a great leprechaun melting scene, the leprechaun just blows up this time.

Although It Is Still A Practical Effects Explosion

Cody and Bridget are able to escape and Bridget asks how Cody knew it wasn’t her. Cody responds that he kisses differently than her. They then kiss.

Bridget asks who kisses better and Cody says he will have to think about it, which elicits a laugh. When asked about the gold coin, Cody throws it away, saying it’s not worth it. And that’s the end of the movie.

Now what happened to the people who were in this film? Well, Tony Cox & Clint Howard as we know would be in future would be in more Monster Crap films. You also know that Michael McDonald went on to be in MadTV and stuff like that. Warwick Davis is still doing movies and was the Leprechaun until Lionsgate made a deal with WWE to redo the series and have the Leprechaun be WWE’s Hornswoggle in Leprechaun: Origins.

While I can’t say much about my feelings about Leprechaun: Origins because quite honestly, the desire for a new Leprechaun film was not there. But I do feel really bad for Warwick Davis because I have heard Warwick Davis loved playing the Leprechaun. I have read so many books where actors have a role that they will do as long as they are alive, and then they get replaced and it is really terrible for the actor to find that out. And as we have seen with Norman Bates, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, just to name a few……the replacement is normally worse than the one who you replaced. So just for that reason (besides so many others), Leprechaun: Origins will most likely have a spot in the GINO Awards whenever it comes out.

Not much else happened except for sad passings. Sandy Baron (who played Morty) passed away in 2001 of emphysema at the age of 63. Billy Beck (who played the hobo) died in 2011 of congestive heart failure at the age of 91.

This movie is rather forgettable and I blame that on the supporting cast. Like I said earlier, when your best actors have very little interaction with the Leprechaun (and in the case of Clint Howard, no interaction), it just becomes a damn shame. I mean, before I re-watched this movie again, the only things I could remember was the changes to the Leprechaun character, the whole Leprechaun wanting a wife, and that line of “Kiss Me, I’m Irish”. This would be the worst, but as you will see with Leprechaun 4: In Space and Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood, the film could be worse, Oh lord, could it be worse. But thankfully, the next Leprechaun film is better. But that will have to wait.

So what’s my next film, NegaSeth?

NegaSeth: Glad You Asked. The Fans Voted And Your Next Induction Will Be….